Philosophy　4
  A　Story　of　Harvard　University
  by　Owen　Wister
  I
  Two　frowning　boys　sat　in　their　tennis　flannels　beneath　the　glare　of　lamp
  and　gas。　　Their　leather　belts　were　loosened；　their　soft　pink　shirts
  unbuttoned　at　the　collar。　　They　were　listening　with　gloomy　voracity　to
  the　instruction　of　a　third。　　They　sat　at　a　table　bared　of　its　customary
  sporting　ornaments；　and　from　time　to　time　they　questioned；　sucked　their
  pencils；　and　scrawled　vigorous；　laconic　notes。　　Their　necks　and　faces
  shone　with　the　bloom　of　out…of…doors。　　Studious　concentration　was
  evidently　a　painful　novelty　to　their　features。　　Drops　of　perspiration
  came　one　by　one　from　their　matted　hair；　and　their　hands　dampened　the
  paper　upon　which　they　wrote。　　The　windows　stood　open　wide　to　the　May
  darkness；　but　nothing　came　in　save　heat　and　insects；　for　spring；　being
  behind　time；　was　making　up　with　a　sultry　burst　at　the　end；　as　a　delayed
  train　makes　the　last　few　miles　high　above　schedule　speed。　　Thus　it　has
  been　since　eight　o'clock。　　Eleven　was　daintily　striking　now。　　Its
  diminutive　sonority　might　have　belonged　to　some　church…bell　far　distant
  across　the　Cambridge　silence；　but　it　was　on　a　shelf　in　the　room；a
  timepiece　of　Gallic　design；　representing　Mephistopheles；　who　caressed
  the　world　in　his　lap。　　And　as　the　little　strokes　boomed；　eightnine
  teneleven；　the　voice　of　the　instructor　steadily　continued　thus：
  〃By　starting　from　the　Absolute　Intelligence；　the　chief　cravings　of　the
  reason；　after　unity　and　spirituality；　receive　due　satisfaction。
  Something　transcending　the　Objective　becomes　possible。　　In　the　Cogito
  the　relation　of　subject　and　object　is　implied　as　the　primary　condition
  of　all　knowledge。　　Now；　Plato　never〃
  〃Skip　Plato；〃　interrupted　one　of　the　boys。　　〃You　gave　us　his　points
  yesterday。〃
  〃Yep；〃　assented　the　other；　rattling　through　the　back　pages　of　his　notes。
  〃Got　Plato　down　cold　somewhere；oh；　here。　　He　never　caught　on　to　the
  subjective；　any　more　than　the　other　Greek　bucks。　　Go　on　to　the　next
  chappie。〃
  〃If　you　gentlemen　have　mastered　thethe　Grreek　bucks；〃　observed　the
  instructor；　with　sleek　intonation；　〃we〃
  〃Yep；〃　said　the　second　tennis　boy；　running　a　rapid　judicial　eye　over　his
  back　notes；　〃you've　put　us　on　to　their　curves　enough。　　Go　on。〃
  The　instructor　turned　a　few　pages　forward　in　the　thick　book　of　his　own
  neat　type…written　notes　and　then　resumed；
  〃The　self…knowledge　of　matter　in　motion。〃
  〃Skip　it；〃　put　in　the　first　tennis　boy。
  〃We　went　to　those　lectures　ourselves；〃　explained　the　second；　whirling
  through　another　dishevelled　notebook。　　〃Oh；　yes。　　Hobbes　and　his　gang。
  There　is　only　one　substance；　matter；　but　it　doesn't　strictly　exist。
  Bodies　exist。　　We've　got　Hobbes。　　Go　on。〃
  The　instructor　went　forward　a　few　pages　more　in　his　exhaustive　volume。
  He　had　attended　all　the　lectures　but　three　throughout　the　year；　taking
  them　down　in　short…hand。　　Laryngitis　had　kept　him　from　those　three；　to
  which　however；　he　had　sent　a　stenographic　friend　so　that　the　chain　was
  unbroken。　　He　now　took　up　the　next　philosopher　on　the　list；　but　his
  smooth　discourse　was；　after　a　short　while；　rudely　shaken。　　It　was　the
  second　tennis　boy　questioning　severely　the　doctrines　imparted。
  〃So　he　says　color　is　all　your　eye；　and　shape　isn't？　and　substance
  isn't？〃
  〃Do　you　mean　he　claims；〃　said　the　first　boy；　equally　resentful；　〃that　if
  we　were　all　extinguished　the　world　would　still　be　here；　only　there'd　be
  no　difference　between　blue　and　pink；　for　instance？〃
  〃The　reason　is　clear；〃　responded　the　tutor；　blandly。　　He　adjusted　his
  eyeglasses；　placed　their　elastic　cord　behind　his　ear；　and　referred　to
  his　notes。　　〃It　is　human　sight　that　distinguishes　between　colors。　　If
  human　sight　be　eliminated　from　the　universe；　nothing　remains　to　make　the
  distinction；　and　consequently　there　will　be　none。　　Thus　also　is　it　with
  sounds。　　If　the　universe　contains　no　ear　to　hear　the　sound；　the　sound
  has　no　existence。〃
  〃Why？〃　said　both　the　tennis　boys　at　once。
  The　tutor　smiled。　　〃Is　it　not　clear；〃　said　he；　〃that　there　can　be　no
  sound　if　it　is　not　heard！〃
  〃No；〃　they　both　returned；　〃not　in　the　least　clear。〃
  〃It's　clear　enough　what　he's　driving　at　of　course；　〃pursued　the　first
  boy。　　〃Until　the　waves　of　sound　or　light　or　what　not　hit　us　through　our
  senses；　our　brains　don't　experience　the　sensations　of　sound　or　light　or
  what　not；　and　so；　of　course；　we　can't　know　about　themnot　until　they
  reach　us。〃
  〃Precisely；〃　said　the　tutor。　　He　had　a　suave　and　slightly　alien　accent。
  〃Well；　just　tell　me　how　that　proves　a　thunder…storm　in　a　desert　island
  makes　no　noise。〃
  〃If　a　thing　is　inaudible〃　began　the　tutor；
  〃That's　mere　juggling！〃　vociferated　the　boy；〃　That's　merely　the　same
  kind　of　toy…shop　brain…trick　you　gave　us　out　of　Greek　philosophy
  yesterday；　They　said　there　was　no　such　thing　as　motion　because　at　every
  instant　of　time　the　moving　body　had　to　be　somewhere；　so　how　could　it　get
  anywhere　else？　　Good　Lord！　　I　can　make　up　foolishness　like　that　myself。
  For　instance：　A　moving　body　can　never　stop。　　Why？　　Why；　because　at　every
  instant　of　time　it　must　be　going　at　a　certain　rate；　so　how　can　it　ever
  get　slower？　　Pooh！〃　　He　stopped。　　He　had　been　gesticulating　with　one
  hand；　which　he　now　jammed　wrathfully　into　his　pocket。
  The　tutor　must　have　derived　great　pleasure　from　his　own　smile；　for　he
  prolonged　and　deepened　and　variously　modified　it　while　his　shiny　little
  calculating　eyes　travelled　from　one　to　the　other　of　his　ruddy　scholars。
  He　coughed；　consulted　his　notes；　and　went　through　all　the　paces　of
  superiority。　　〃I　can　find　nothing　about　a　body's　being　unable　to　stop；〃
  said　he；　gently。　　〃If　logic　makes　no　appeal　to　you；　gentlemen〃
  〃Oh；　bunch！〃　exclaimed　the　second　tennis　boy；　in　the　slang　of　his
  period；　which　was　the　early　eighties。　　〃Look　here。　　Color　has　no
  existence　outside　of　our　brain　…　that's　the　idea？〃
  The　tutor　bowed。
  〃And　sound　hasn't？　and　smell　hasn't？　and　taste　hasn't？〃
  The　tutor　had　repeated　his　little　bow　after　each。
  〃And　that's　because　they　depend　on　our　senses？　　Very　well。　　But　he
  claims　solidity　and　shape　and　distance　do　exist　independently　of　us。　　If
  we　all　died；　they'd　he　here　just　the　same；　though　the　others　wouldn't。　A
  flower　would　go　on　growing；　but　it　would　stop　smelling。　　Very　well。　Now
  you　tell　me　how　we　ascertain　solidity。　　By　the　touch；　don't　we？　Then；　if
  there　was　nobody　to　touch　an　object；　what　then？　　Seems　to　me　touch　is
  just　as　much　of　a　sense　as　your　nose　is。〃　（He　meant　no　personality；　but
  the　first　boy　choked　a　giggle　as　the　speaker　hotly　followed　up　his
  thought。）〃　Seems　to　me　by　his　reasoning　that　in　a　desert　island　there'd
  be　nothing　it　allsmells　or　shapesnot　even　an　island。　Seems　to　me
  that's　what　you　call　logic。〃
  The　tutor　directed　his　smile　at　the　open　window。　　〃Berkeley〃　said　he。
  〃By　Jove！〃　said　the　other　boy；　not　heeding　him；　〃and　here's　another
  point：　if　color　is　entirely　in　my　brain；　why　don't　that　ink…bottle　and
  this　shirt　look　alike　to　me？　　They　ought　to。　　And　why　don't　a　Martini
  cocktail　and　a　cup　of　coffee　taste　the　same　to　my　tongue？〃　〃Berkeley；〃
  attempted　the　tutor；　〃demonstrates〃
  〃Do　you　mean　to　say；〃　the　boy　rushed　on；　〃that　there　is　no　eternal
  quality　in　all　these　things　which　when　it　meets　my　perceptions　compels
  me　to　see　differences？〃
  The　tutor　surveyed　his　notes。　　〃I　can　discover　no　such　suggestions　here
  as　you　are　pleased　to　make〃　said　he。　　〃But　your　orriginal　researches；〃
  he　continued　most　obsequiously；　〃recall　our　next　subject；Berkeley　and
  the　Idealists。〃　　And　he　smoothed　out　his　notes。
  〃Let's　see；〃　said　the　second　boy；　pondering；　〃I　went　to　two　or　three
  lectures　about　that　time。　　BerkeleyBerkeley。　　Didn't　heoh；　yes！　　he
  did。　　He　went　the　whole　hog。　　Nothing's　anywhere　except　in　your　ideas。
  You　think　the　table's　there；　but　it　isn't。　　There　isn't　any　table。〃
  The　first　boy　slapped　his　leg　and　lighted　a　cigarette。　　〃I　remember；〃
  said　he。　　〃Amounts　to　this：　If　I　were　to　stop　thinking　about　you；　you'd
  evaporate。〃
  〃Which　is　balls；〃　observed　the　second　boy；　judicially；　again　in　the
  slang　of　his　period；　〃and　can　be　proved　so。　　For　you're　not　always
  thinking　about　me；　and　I've　never　evaporated　once。〃
  The　first　boy；　after　a　slight　wink　at　the　second；　addressed　the　tutor。
  〃Supposing　you　were　to　happen　to　forget　yourself；〃　said　he　to　that　sleek
  gentleman；　〃would　you　evaporate？〃
  The　tutor　turned　his　little　eyes　doubtfully　upon　the　tennis　boys；　but
  answered；　reciting　the　language　of　his　notes：　〃The　idealistic　theory
  does　not　apply　to　the　thinking　ego；　but　to　the　world　of　external
  phenomena。　　The　world　exists　in　our　conception　of　it。
  〃Then；〃　said　the　second　boy；　〃when　a　thing　is　inconceivable？〃
  〃It　has　no　existence；〃　replied　the　tutor；　complacently。
  〃But　a　billion　dollars　is　inconceivable；〃　retorted　the　boy。　　〃No　mind
  can