第 84 节
作者:散发弄舟      更新:2021-02-21 16:20      字数:9322
  larger; that the pews were filled with angels; so crowded together
  that they had to tuck up their wings very close indeedand Harry
  could not help wondering what they wanted them for; that they were
  all singing psalms; that the pulpit by a little change had been
  converted into a throne; on which sat God the Father; looking very
  solemn and severe; that Jesus was seated in the reading…desk;
  looking very sad; and that the Holy Ghost sat on the clerk's desk;
  in the shape of a white dove; that a cherub; whose face reminded him
  very much of a policeman he knew; took him by the shoulder for
  trying to pluck a splendid green feather out of an archangel's wing;
  and led him up to the throne; where God shook his head at him in
  such a dreadful way; that he was terrified; and then stretched out
  his hand to lay hold on him; that he shrieked with fear; and that
  Jesus put out his hand and lifted him into the reading…desk; and hid
  him down below。  And there Harry lay; feeling so safe; stroking and
  kissing the feet that had been weary and wounded for him; till; in
  the growing delight of the thought that he actually held those feet;
  he came awake and remembered it all。  Truly it was a childish dream;
  but not without its own significance。  For surely the only refuge
  from heathenish representations of God under Christian forms; the
  only refuge from man's blinding and paralysing theories; from the
  dead wooden shapes substituted for the living forms of human love
  and hope and aspiration; from the interpretations which render
  scripture as dry as a speech in Chancerysurely the one refuge from
  all these awful evils is the Son of man; for no misrepresentation
  and no misconception can destroy the beauty of that face which the
  marring of sorrow has elevated into the region of reality; beyond
  the marring of irreverent speculation and scholastic definition。
  》From the God of man's painting; we turn to the man of God's being;
  and he leads us to the true God; the radiation of whose glory we
  first see in him。  Happy is that man who has a glimpse of this; even
  in a dream such as Harry's!a dream in other respects childish and
  incongruous; but not more absurd than the instruction whence it
  sprung。
  But the troubles returned with the day。  Prayers revived them。  He
  sought Euphra in her room。
  〃They say I must repent and be sorry for my sins;〃 said he。 〃I have
  been trying very hard; but I can't think of any; except once that I
  gave Gog〃 (his Welsh pony) 〃such a beating because he would go where
  I didn't want him。  But he's forgotten it long ago; and I gave him
  two feeds of corn after it; and so somehow I can't feel very sorry
  now。  What shall I do?But that's not what I mind most。  It always
  seems to me it would be so much grander of God to say: 'Come along;
  never mind。  I'll make you good。  I can't wait till you are good; I
  love you so much。'〃
  His own words were too much for Harry; and he burst into tears at
  the thought of God being so kind。  Euphra; instead of trying to
  comfort him; cried too。  Thus they continued for some time; Harry
  with his head on her knees; and she kindly fondling it with her
  distressed hands。  Harry was the first to recover; for his was the
  April time; when rain clears the heavens。  All at once he sprung to
  his feet; and exclaimed:
  〃Only think; Euphra!  What if; after all; I should find out that God
  is as kind as you are!〃
  How Euphra's heart smote her!
  〃Dear Harry;〃 answered she; 〃God must be a great deal kinder than I
  am。  I have not been kind to you at all。〃
  〃Don't say that; Euphra。  I shall be quite content if God is as kind
  as you。〃
  〃Oh; Harry!  I hope God is like what I dreamed about my mother last
  night。〃
  〃Tell me what you dreamed about her; dear Euphra。〃
  〃I dreamed that I was a little child〃
  〃Were you a little girl when your mother died?〃
  〃Oh; yes; such a tiny!  But I can just remember her。〃
  〃Tell me your dream; then。〃
  〃I dreamed that I was a little girl; out all alone on a wild
  mountain…moor; tripping and stumbling on my night…gown。  And the
  wind was so cold!  And; somehow or other; the wind was an enemy to
  me; and it followed and caught me; and whirled and tossed me about;
  and then ran away again。  Then I hastened on; and the thorns went
  into my feet; and the stones cut them。  And I heard the blood from
  them trickling down the hill…side as I walked。〃
  〃Then they would be like the feet I saw in my dream last night。〃
  〃Whose feet were they?〃
  〃Jesus' feet。〃
  〃Tell me about it。〃
  〃You must finish yours first; please; Euphra。〃
  So Euphra went on:
  〃I got dreadfully lame。  And the wind ran after me; and caught me
  again; and took me in his great blue ghostly arms; and shook me
  about; and then dropped me again to go on。  But it was very hard to
  go on; and I couldn't stop; and there was no use in stopping; for
  the wind was everywhere in a moment。  Then suddenly I saw before me
  a great cataract; all in white; falling flash from a precipice; and
  I thought with myself; 'I will go into the cataract; and it will
  beat my life out; and then the wind will not get me any more。'  So I
  hastened towards it; but the wind caught me many times before I got
  near it。  At last I reached it; and threw myself down into the basin
  it had hollowed out of the rocks。  But as I was falling; something
  caught me gently; and held me fast; and it was not the wind。  I
  opened my eyes; and behold!  I was in my mother's arms; and she was
  clasping me to her breast; for what I had taken for a cataract
  falling into a gulf; was only my mother; with her white
  grave…clothes floating all about her; standing up in her grave; to
  look after me。 'It was time you came home; my darling;' she said;
  and stooped down into her grave with me in her arms。  And oh!  I was
  so happy; and her bosom was not cold; or her arms hard; and she
  carried me just like a baby。  And when she stooped down; then a door
  opened somewhere in the grave; I could not find out where
  exactlyand in a moment after; we were sitting together in a summer
  grove; with the tree…tops steeped in sunshine; and waving about in a
  quiet loving windoh; how different from the one that chased me
  home!and we underneath in the shadow of the trees。  And then I
  said; 'Mother; I've hurt my feet。'〃
  〃Did you call her mother when you were a little girl?〃 interposed
  Harry。
  〃No;〃 answered Euphra。 〃I called her mamma; like other children; but
  in my dreams I always call her mother。〃
  〃And what did she say?〃
  〃She said'Poor child!'and held my feet to her bosom; and after
  that; when I looked at them; the bleeding was all gone; and I was
  not lame any more。〃
  Euphra; paused with a sigh。
  〃Oh; Harry!  I do not like to be lame。〃
  〃What more?〃 said Harry; intent only on the dream。
  〃Oh! then I was so happy; that I woke up directly。〃
  〃What a pity!  But if it should come true?〃
  〃How could it come true; dear Harry?〃
  〃Why; this world is sometimes cold; and the road is hardyou know
  what I mean; Euphra。〃
  〃Yes; I do。〃
  〃I wish I could dream dreams like that!  How clever you must be!〃
  〃But you dream dreams; too; Harry。  Tell me yours。〃
  〃Oh; no; I never dream dreams; the dreams dream me;〃 answered Harry;
  with a smile。
  Then he told his dream; to which Euphra listened with an interest
  uninjured by the grotesqueness of its fancy。  Each interpreted the
  other's with reverence。
  They ceased talking; and sat silent for a while。  Then Harry;
  putting his arms round Euphra's neck; and his lips close to her ear;
  whispered:
  〃Perhaps God will say my darling to you some day; Euphra; just as
  your mother did in your dream。〃
  She was silent。  Harry looked round into her face; and saw that the
  tears were flowing fast。
  At that instant; a gentle knock came to the door。  Euphra could not
  reply to it。  It was repeated。  After another moment's delay; the
  door opened; and Margaret walked in。
  CHAPTER XII。
  A SUNDAY WITH FALCONER。
  How happy is he born and taught;
  That serveth not another's will;
  Whose armour is his honest thought;
  And simple truth his utmost skill。
  This man is freed from servile bands
  Of hope to rise or fear to fall:
  Lord of himself; though not of lands;
  And; having nothing; yet hath all。
  SIR HENRY WOTTON。
  It was not often that Falconer went to church; but he seemed to have
  some design in going oftener than usual at present。  The Sunday
  after the one last mentioned; he went as well; though not to the
  same church; and calling for Hugh took him with him。  What they
  found there; and the conversation following thereupon; I will try to
  relate; because; although they do not immediately affect my outward
  story; they greatly influenced Hugh's real history。
  They heard the Morning Service and the Litany read in an ordinary
  manner; though somewhat more devoutly than usual。  Then; from the
  communion…table; rose a voice vibrating with solemn emotion; like
  the voice of Abraham pleading for Sodom。  It thrilled through Hugh's
  heart。  The sermon which followed affected him no less; although;
  when he came out; he confessed to Falconer that he had only caught
  flying glimpses of its meaning; scope; and drift。
  〃I seldom go to church;〃 said Falconer; 〃b