第 117 节
作者:不言败      更新:2021-02-21 15:48      字数:9322
  tremendously excited and were continually shouting at him: 〃The Pan is
  a lajdak!〃 and muttering threats in Polish。 Sonia had been listening
  with strained attention; though she too seemed unable to grasp it all;
  she seemed as though she had just returned to consciousness。 She did
  not take her eyes off Raskolnikov; feeling that all her safety lay
  in him。 Katerina Ivanovna breathed hard and painfully and seemed
  fearfully exhausted。 Amalia Ivanovna stood looking more stupid than
  any one; with her mouth wide open; unable to make out what had
  happened。 She only saw that Pyotr Petrovitch had somehow come to
  grief。
  Raskolnikov was attempting to speak again; but they did not let him。
  Every one was crowding round Luzhin with threats and shouts of
  abuse。 But Pyotr Petrovitch was not intimidated。 Seeing that his
  accusation of Sonia had completely failed; he had recourse to
  insolence:
  〃Allow me; gentlemen; allow me! Don't squeeze; let me pass!〃 he
  said; making his way through the crowd。 〃And no threats if you please!
  I assure you it will be useless; you will gain nothing by it。 On the
  contrary; you'll have to answer; gentlemen; for violently
  obstructing the course of justice。 The thief has been more than
  unmasked; and I shall prosecute。 Our judges are not so blind and。。。
  not so drunk; and will not believe the testimony of two notorious
  infidels; agitators; and atheists; who accuse me from motives of
  personal revenge which they are foolish enough to admit。。。。 Yes; allow
  me to pass!〃
  〃Don't let me find a trace of you in my room! Kindly leave at
  once; and everything is at an end between us! When I think of the
  trouble I've been taking; the way I've been expounding。。。 all this
  fortnight!〃
  〃I told you myself to…day that I was going; when you tried to keep
  me; now I will simply add that you are a fool。 I advise you to see a
  doctor for your brains and your short sight。 Let me pass; gentlemen!〃
  He forced his way through。 But the commissariat clerk was
  unwilling to let him off so easily: he picked up a glass from the
  table; brandished it in the air and flung it at Pyotr Petrovitch;
  but the glass flew straight at Amalia Ivanovna。 She screamed; and
  the clerk; overbalancing; fell heavily under the table。 Pyotr
  Petrovitch made his way to his room and half an hour later had left
  the house。 Sonia; timid by nature; had felt before that day that she
  could be ill…treated more easily than any one; and that she could be
  wronged with impunity。 Yet till that moment she had fancied that she
  might escape misfortune by care; gentleness and submissiveness
  before every one。 Her disappointment was too great。 She could; of
  course; bear with patience and almost without murmur anything; even
  this。 But for the first minute she felt it too bitter。 In spite of her
  triumph and her justification… when her first terror and
  stupefaction had passed and she could understand it all clearly… the
  feeling of her helplessness and of the wrong done to her made her
  heart throb with anguish and she was overcome with hysterical weeping。
  At last; unable to bear any more; she rushed out of the room and ran
  home; almost immediately after Luzhin's departure。 When amidst loud
  laughter the glass flew at Amalia Ivanovna; it was more than the
  landlady could endure。 With a shriek she rushed like a fury at
  Katerina Ivanovna; considering her to blame for everything。
  〃Out of my lodgings! At once! Quick march!〃
  And with these words she began snatching up everything she could lay
  her hands on that belonged to Katerina Ivanovna; and throwing it on
  the floor; Katerina Ivanovna; pale; almost fainting; and gasping for
  breath; jumped up from the bed where she had sunk in exhaustion and
  darted at Amalia Ivanovna。 But the battle was too unequal: the
  landlady waved her away like a feather。
  〃What! As though that godless calumny was not enough… this vile
  creature attacks me! What! On the day of my husband's funeral I am
  turned out of my lodgings! After eating my bread and salt she turns me
  into the street; with my orphans! Where am I to go?〃 wailed the poor
  woman; sobbing and gasping。 〃Good God!〃 she cried with flashing
  eyes; 〃is there no justice upon earth? Whom should you protect if
  not us orphans? We shall see! There is law and justice on earth; there
  is; I will find it! Wait a bit; godless creature! Polenka; stay with
  the children; I'll come back。 Wait for me; if you have to wait in
  the street。 We will see whether there is justice on earth!〃
  And throwing over her head that green shawl which Marmeladov had
  mentioned to Raskolnikov; Katerina Ivanovna squeezed her way through
  the disorderly and drunken crowd of lodgers who still filled the room;
  and; wailing and tearful; she ran into the street… with a vague
  intention of going at once somewhere to find justice。 Polenka with the
  two little ones in her arms crouched; terrified; on the trunk in the
  corner of the room; where she waited trembling for her mother to
  come back。 Amalia Ivanovna raged about the room; shrieking;
  lamenting and throwing everything she came across on the floor。 The
  lodgers talked incoherently; some commented to the best of their
  ability on what had happened; others quarreled and swore at one
  another; while others struck up a song。。。。
  〃Now it's time for me to go;〃 thought Raskolnikov。 〃Well; Sofya
  Semyonovna; we shall see what you'll say now!〃
  And he set off in the direction of Sonia's lodgings。
  Chapter Four
  RASKOLNIKOV had been a vigorous and active champion of Sonia against
  Luzhin; although he had such a load of horror and anguish in his own
  heart。 But having gone through so much in the morning; he found a sort
  of relief in a change of sensations; apart from the strong personal
  feeling which impelled him to defend Sonia。 He was agitated too;
  especially at some moments; by the thought of his approaching
  interview with Sonia: he had to tell her who had killed Lizaveta。 He
  knew the terrible suffering it would be to him and; as it were;
  brushed away the thought of it。 So when he cried as he left Katerina
  Ivanovna's; 〃Well; Sofya Semyonovna; we shall see what you'll say
  now!〃 he was still superficially excited; still vigorous and defiant
  from his triumph over Luzhin。 But; strange to say; by the time he
  reached Sonia's lodging; he felt a sudden impotence and fear。 He stood
  still in hesitation at the door; asking himself the strange
  question: 〃Must I tell her who killed Lizaveta?〃 It was a strange
  question because he felt at the very time not only that he could not
  help telling her; but also that he could not put off the telling。 He
  did not yet know why it must be so; he only felt it; and the agonising
  sense of his impotence before the inevitable almost crushed him。 To
  cut short his hesitation and suffering; he quickly opened the door and
  looked at Sonia from the doorway。 She was sitting with her elbows on
  the table and her face in her hands; but seeing Raskolnikov she got up
  at once and came to meet him as though she were expecting him。
  〃What would have become of me but for you!〃 she said quickly;
  meeting him in the middle of the room。
  Evidently she was in haste to say this to him。 It was what she had
  been waiting for。
  Raskolnikov went to the table and sat down on the chair from which
  she had only just risen。 She stood facing him; two steps away; just as
  she had done the day before。
  〃Well; Sonia?〃 he said; and f