第 101 节
作者:不言败      更新:2021-02-21 15:48      字数:9321
  〃No; not from me; but I knew he went to you and why he went;〃
  Raskolnikov answered sharply。
  〃You knew?〃
  〃I knew。 What of it?〃
  〃Why this; Rodion Romanovitch; that I know more than that about you;
  I know about everything。 I know how you went to take a flat at night
  when it was dark and how you rang the bell and asked about the
  blood; so that the workmen and the porter did not know what to make of
  it。 Yes; I understand your state of mind at that time。。。 but you'll
  drive yourself mad like that; upon my word! You'll lose your head!
  You're full of generous indignation at the wrongs you've received;
  first from destiny; and then from the police officers; and so you rush
  from one thing to another to force them to speak out and make an end
  of it all; because you are sick of all this suspicion and foolishness。
  That's so; isn't it? I have guessed how you feel; haven't I? Only in
  that way you'll lose your head and Razumihin's; too; he's too good a
  man for such a position; you must know that。 You are ill and he is
  good and your illness is infectious for him。。。 I'll tell you about
  it when you are more yourself。。。。 But do sit down; for goodness' sake。
  Please rest; you look shocking; do sit down。〃
  Raskolnikov sat down; he no longer shivered; he was hot all over。 In
  amazement he listened with strained attention to Porfiry Petrovitch
  who still seemed frightened as he looked after him with friendly
  solicitude。 But he did not believe a word he said; though he felt a
  strange inclination to believe。 Porfiry's unexpected words about the
  flat had utterly overwhelmed him。 〃How can it be; he knows about the
  flat then;〃 he thought suddenly; 〃and he tells it me himself!〃
  〃Yes; in our legal practice there was a case almost exactly similar;
  a case of morbid psychology;〃 Porfiry went on quickly。 〃A man
  confessed to murder and how he kept it up! It was a regular
  hallucination; he brought forward facts; he imposed upon every one and
  why? He had been partly; but only partly; unintentionally the cause of
  a murder and when he knew that he had given the murderers the
  opportunity; he sank into dejection; it got on his mind and turned his
  brain; he began imagining things and he persuaded himself that he
  was the murderer。 But at last the High Court of Appeals went into it
  and the poor fellow was acquitted and put under proper care。 Thanks to
  the Court of Appeals! Tut…tut…tut! Why; my dear fellow; you may
  drive yourself into delirium if you have the impulse to work upon your
  nerves; to go ringing bells at night and asking about blood! I've
  studied all this morbid psychology in my practice。 A man is
  sometimes tempted to jump out of a window or from a belfry。 Just the
  same with bell…ringing。。。。 It's all illness; Rodion Romanovitch! You
  have begun to neglect your illness。 You should consult an
  experienced doctor; what's the good of that fat fellow? You are
  lightheaded! You were delirious when you did all this!〃
  For a moment Raskolnikov felt everything going round。
  〃Is it possible; is it possible;〃 flashed through his mind; 〃that he
  is still lying? He can't be; he can't be。〃 He rejected that idea;
  feeling to what a degree of fury it might drive him; feeling that that
  fury might drive him mad。
  〃I was not delirious。 I knew what I was doing;〃 he cried;
  straining every faculty to penetrate Porfiry's game; 〃I was quite
  myself; do you hear?〃
  〃Yes; I hear and understand。 You said yesterday you were not
  delirious; you were particularly emphatic about it! I understand all
  you can tell me! A…ach!。。。 Listen; Rodion Romanovitch; my dear fellow。
  If you were actually a criminal; or were somehow mixed up in this
  damnable business; would you insist that you were not delirious but in
  full possession of your faculties? And so emphatically and
  persistently? Would it be possible? Quite impossible; to my
  thinking。 If you had anything on your conscience; you certainly
  ought to insist that you were delirious。 That's so; isn't it?〃
  There was a note of slyness in this inquiry。 Raskolnikov drew back
  on the sofa as Porfiry bent over him and stared in silent perplexity
  at him。
  〃Another thing about Razumihin… you certainly ought to have said
  that he came of his own accord; to have concealed your part in it! But
  you don't conceal it! You lay stress on his coming at your
  instigation。〃
  Raskolnikov had not done so。 A chill went down his back。
  〃You keep telling lies;〃 he said slowly and weakly; twisting his
  lips into a sickly smile; 〃you are trying again to show that you
  know all my game; that you know all I shall say beforehand;〃 he
  said; conscious himself that he was not weighing his words as he
  ought。 〃You want to frighten me。。。 or you are simply laughing at
  me。。。〃
  He still stared at him as he said this and again there was a light
  of intense hatred in his eyes。
  〃You keep lying;〃 he said。 〃You know perfectly well that the best
  policy for the criminal is to tell the truth as nearly as
  possible。。。 to conceal as little as possible。 I don't believe you!〃
  〃What a wily person you are!〃 Porfiry tittered; 〃there's no catching
  you; you've a perfect monomania。 So you don't believe me? But still
  you do believe me; you believe a quarter; I'll soon make you believe
  the whole; because I have a sincere liking for you and genuinely
  wish you good。〃
  Raskolnikov's lips trembled。
  〃Yes; I do;〃 went on Porfiry; touching Raskolnikov's arm genially;
  〃you must take care of your illness。 Besides; your mother and sister
  are here now; you must think of them。 You must soothe and comfort them
  and you do nothing but frighten them。。。〃
  〃What has that to do with you? How do you know it? What concern is
  it of yours? You are keeping watch on me and want to let me know it?〃
  〃Good heavens! Why; I learnt it all from you yourself! You don't
  notice that in your excitement you tell me and others everything。 From
  Razumihin; too; I learnt a number of interesting details yesterday。
  No; you interrupted me; but I must tell you that; for all your wit;
  your suspiciousness makes you lose the common…sense view of things。 To
  return to bell…ringing; for instance。 I; an examining lawyer; have
  betrayed a precious thing like that; a real fact (for it is a fact
  worth having); and you see nothing in it! Why; if I had the
  slightest suspicion of you; should I have acted like that? No; I
  should first have disarmed your suspicions and not let you see I
  knew of that fact; should have diverted your attention and suddenly
  have dealt you a knock…down blow (your expression) saying: 'And what
  were you doing; sir; pray; at ten or nearly eleven at the murdered
  woman's flat and why did you ring the bell and why did you ask about
  blood? And why did you invite the porters to go with you to the police
  station; to the lieutenant?' That's how I ought to have acted if I had
  a grain of suspicion of you。 I ought to have taken your evidence in
  due form; searched your lodging and perhaps have arrested you;
  too。。。 so I have no suspicion of you; since I have not done that!
  But you can't look at it normally and you see nothing; I say again。〃
  Raskolnikov started so that Porfiry Petrovitch could not fail to
  perceive it。
  〃You are lying all the while;〃 he cried; 〃I don't know your
  object; but you are lying。 You did not speak like that just now and
  I cannot be mistaken!〃
  〃I am lying?〃 Porfiry repeated;