第 51 节
作者:不言败      更新:2021-02-21 15:47      字数:9322
  seized a pole which a comrade held out to him; the drowning woman
  was pulled out at once。 They laid her on the granite pavement of the
  embankment。 She soon recovered consciousness; raised her head; sat
  up and began sneezing and coughing; stupidly wiping her wet dress with
  her hands。 She said nothing。
  〃She's drunk herself out of her senses;〃 the same woman's voice
  wailed at her side。 〃Out of her senses。 The other day she tried to
  hang herself; we cut her down。 I ran out to the shop just now; left my
  little girl to look after her… and here she's in trouble again! A
  neighbour; gentleman neighbour; we live close by; the second house
  from the end; see yonder。。。。〃
  The crowd broke up。 The police still remained round the woman;
  some one mentioned the police station。。。。 Raskolnikov looked on with a
  strange sensation of indifference and apathy。 He felt disgusted。
  〃No; that's loathsome。。。 water。。。 it's not good enough;〃 he muttered
  to himself。 〃Nothing will come of it;〃 he added; 〃no use to wait。 What
  about the police office。。。? And why isn't Zametov at the police
  office? The police office is open till ten o'clock。。。。〃 He turned
  his back to the railing and looked about him。
  〃Very well then!〃 he said resolutely; he moved from the bridge and
  walked in the direction of the police office。 His heart felt hollow
  and empty。 He did not want to think。 Even his depression had passed;
  there was not a trace now of the energy with which he had set out
  〃to make an end of it all。〃 Complete apathy had succeeded to it。
  〃Well; it's a way out of it;〃 he thought; walking slowly and
  listlessly along the canal bank。 〃Anyway I'll make an end; for I
  want to。。。。 But is it a way out? What does it matter! There'll be
  the square yard of space… ha! But what an end! Is it really the end?
  Shall I tell them or not? Ah。。。 damn! How tired I am! If I could
  find somewhere to sit or lie down soon! What I am most ashamed of is
  its being so stupid。 But I don't care about that either! What
  idiotic ideas come into one's head。〃
  To reach the police office he had to go straight forward and take
  the second turning to the left。 It was only a few paces away。 But at
  the first turning he stopped and; after a minute's thought; turned
  into a side street and went two streets out of his way; possibly
  without any object; or possibly to delay a minute and gain time。 He
  walked; looking at the ground; suddenly some one seemed to whisper
  in his ear; he lifted his head and saw that he was standing at the
  very gate of the house。 He had not passed it; he had not been near
  it since that evening。 An overwhelming unaccountable prompting drew
  him on。 He went into the house; passed through the gateway; then
  into the first entrance on the right; and began mounting the
  familiar staircase to the fourth storey。 The narrow; steep staircase
  was very dark。 He stopped at each landing and looked round him with
  curiosity; on the first landing the framework of the window had been
  taken out。 〃That wasn't so then;〃 he thought。 Here was the flat on the
  second storey where Nikolay and Dmitri had been working。 〃It's shut up
  and the door newly painted。 So it's to let。〃 Then the third storey and
  the fourth。 〃Here!〃 He was perplexed to find the door of the flat wide
  open。 There were men there; he could hear voices; he had not
  expected that。 After brief hesitation he mounted the last stairs and
  went into the flat。 It; too; was being done up; there were workmen
  in it。 This seemed to amaze him; he somehow fancied that he would find
  everything as he left it; even perhaps the corpses in the same
  places on the floor。 And now; bare walls; no furniture; it seemed
  strange。 He walked to the window and sat down on the window sill。
  There were two workmen; both young fellows; but one much younger
  than the other。 They were papering the walls with a new white paper
  covered with lilac flowers; instead of the old; dirty; yellow one。
  Raskolnikov for some reason felt horribly annoyed by this。 He looked
  at the new paper with dislike; as though he felt sorry to have it
  all so changed。 The workmen had obviously stayed beyond their time and
  now they were hurriedly rolling up their paper and getting ready to go
  home。 They took no notice of Raskolnikov's coming in; they were
  talking。 Raskolnikov folded his arms and listened。
  〃She comes to me in the morning;〃 said the elder to the younger;
  〃very early; all dressed up。 'Why are you preening and prinking?' says
  I。 'I am ready to do anything to please you; Tit Vassilitch!' That's a
  way of going on! And she dressed up like a regular fashion book!〃
  〃And what is a fashion book?〃 the younger one asked。 He obviously
  regarded the other as an authority。
  〃A fashion book is a lot of pictures; coloured; and they come to the
  tailors here every Saturday; by post from abroad; to show folks how to
  dress; the male sex as well as the female。 They're pictures。 The
  gentlemen are generally wearing fur coats and for the ladies'
  fluffles; they're beyond anything you can fancy。〃
  〃There's nothing you can't find in Petersburg;〃 the younger cried
  enthusiastically; 〃except father and mother; there's everything!〃
  〃Except them; there's everything to be found; my boy;〃 the elder
  declared sententiously。
  Raskolnikov got up and walked into the other room where the strong
  box; the bed; and the chest of drawers had been; the room seemed to
  him very tiny without furniture in it。 The paper was the same; the
  paper in the corner showed where the case of ikons had stood。 He
  looked at it and went to the window。 The elder workman looked at him
  askance。
  〃What do you want?〃 he asked suddenly。
  Instead of answering Raskolnikov went into the passage and pulled
  the bell。 The same bell; the same cracked note。 He rang it a second
  and a third time; he listened and remembered。 The hideous and
  agonisingly fearful sensation he had felt then began to come back more
  and more vividly。 He shuddered at every ring and it gave him more
  and more satisfaction。
  〃Well; what do you want? Who are you?〃 the workman shouted; going
  out to him。 Raskolnikov went inside again。
  〃I want to take a flat;〃 he said。 〃I am looking round。〃
  〃It's not the time to look at rooms at night! and you ought to
  come up with the porter。〃
  〃The floors have been washed; will they be painted?〃 Raskolnikov
  went on。 〃Is there no blood?〃
  〃What blood?〃
  〃Why; the old woman and her sister were murdered here。 There was a
  perfect pool there。〃
  〃But who are you?〃 the workman cried; uneasy。
  〃Who am I?〃
  〃Yes。〃
  〃You want to know? Come to the police station; I'll tell you。〃
  The workmen looked at him in amazement。
  〃It's time for us to go; we are late。 Come along; Alyoshka。 We
  must lock up;〃 said the elder workman。
  〃Very well; come along;〃 said Raskolnikov indifferently; and going
  out first; he went slowly downstairs。 〃Hey; porter;〃 he cried in the
  gateway。
  At the entrance several people were standing; staring at the
  passers…by; the two porters; a peasant woman; a man in a long coat and
  a few others。 Raskolnikov went straight up to them。
  〃What do you want?〃 asked one of the porters。
  〃Have you been to the police office?〃
  〃I've just been there。 What do y