第 37 节
作者:不言败      更新:2021-02-21 15:47      字数:9322
  raised him up and gave him tea in spoonfuls; again blowing each
  spoonful steadily and earnestly; as though this process was the
  principal and most effective means towards his friend's recovery。
  Raskolnikov said nothing and made no resistance; though he felt
  quite strong enough to sit up on the sofa without support and could
  not merely have held a cup or a spoon; but even perhaps could have
  walked about。 But from some queer; almost animal; cunning he conceived
  the idea of hiding his strength and lying low for a time; pretending
  if necessary not to be yet in full possession of his faculties; and
  meanwhile listening to find out what was going on。 Yet he could not
  overcome his sense of repugnance。 After sipping a dozen spoonfuls of
  tea; he suddenly released his head; pushed the spoon away
  capriciously; and sank back on the pillow。 There were actually real
  pillows under his head now; down pillows in clean cases; he observed
  that; too; and took note of it。
  〃Pashenka must give us some raspberry jam to…day to make him some
  raspberry tea;〃 said Razumihin; going back to his chair and
  attacking his soup and beer again。
  〃And where is she to get raspberries for you?〃 asked Nastasya;
  balancing a saucer on her five outspread fingers and sipping tea
  through a lump of sugar。
  〃She'll get it at the shop; my dear。 You see; Rodya; all sorts of
  things have been happening while you have been laid up。 When you
  decamped in that rascally way without leaving your address; I felt
  so angry that I resolved to find you out and punish you。 I set to work
  that very day。 How I ran about making inquiries for you! This
  lodging of yours I had forgotten; though I never remembered it;
  indeed; because I did not know it; and as for your old lodgings; I
  could only remember it was at the Five Corners; Harlamov's house。 I
  kept trying to find that Harlamov's house; and afterwards it turned
  out that it was not Harlamov's; but Buch's。 How one muddles up sound
  sometimes! So I lost my temper; and I went on the chance to the
  address bureau next day; and only fancy; in two minutes they looked
  you up! Your name is down there。〃
  〃My name!〃
  〃I should think so; and yet a General Kobelev they could not find
  while I was there。 Well; it's a long story。 But as soon as I did
  land on this place; I soon got to know all your affairs… all; all;
  brother; I know everything; Nastasya here will tell you。 I made the
  acquaintance of Nikodim Fomitch and Ilya Petrovitch; and the
  house…porter and Mr。 Zametov; Alexandr Grigorievitch; the head clerk
  in the police office; and; last; but not least; of Pashenka;
  Nastasya here knows。。。。〃
  〃He's got round her;〃 Nastasya murmured; smiling slyly。
  〃Why don't you put the sugar in your tea; Nastasya Nikiforovna?〃
  〃You are a one!〃 Nastasya cried suddenly; going off into a giggle。
  〃I am not Nikiforovna; but Petrovna;〃 she added suddenly; recovering
  from her mirth。
  〃I'll make a note of it。 Well; brother; to make a long story
  short; I was going in for a regular explosion here to uproot all
  malignant influences in the locality; but Pashenka won the day。 I
  had not expected; brother; to find her so。。。 prepossessing。 Eh; what
  do you think?〃
  Raskolnikov did not speak; but he still kept his eyes fixed upon
  him; full of alarm。
  〃And all that could be wished; indeed; in every respect;〃
  Razumihin went on; not at all embarrassed by his silence。
  〃Ah; the sly dog!〃 Nastasya shrieked again。 This conversation
  afforded her unspeakable delight。
  〃It's a pity; brother; that you did not set to work in the right way
  at first。 You ought to have approached her differently。 She is; so
  to speak; a most unaccountable character。 But we will talk about her
  character later。。。。 How could you let things come to such a pass
  that she gave up sending you your dinner? And that I。O。U。? You must
  have been mad to sign an I。O。U。 And that promise of marriage when
  her daughter; Natalya Yegorovna; was alive?。。。 I know all about it!
  But I see that's a delicate matter and I am an ass; forgive me。 But;
  talking of foolishness; do you know Praskovya Pavlovna is not nearly
  so foolish as you would think at first sight?〃
  〃No;〃 mumbled Raskolnikov; looking away; but feeling that it was
  better to keep up the conversation。
  〃She isn't; is she?〃 cried Razumihin; delighted to get an answer out
  of him。 〃But she is not very clever either; eh? She is essentially;
  essentially an unaccountable character! I am sometimes quite at a
  loss; I assure you。。。。 She must be forty; she says she is
  thirty…six; and of course she has every right to say so。 But I swear I
  judge her intellectually; simply from the metaphysical point of
  view; there is a sort of symbolism sprung up between us; a sort of
  algebra or what not! I don't understand it! Well; that's all nonsense。
  Only; seeing that you are not a student now and have lost your lessons
  and your clothes; and that through the young lady's death she has no
  need to treat you as a relation; she suddenly took fright; and as
  you hid in your den and dropped all your old relations with her; she
  planned to get rid of you。 And she's been cherishing that design a
  long time; but was sorry to lose the I。O。U。 for you assured her
  yourself that your mother would pay。〃
  〃It was base of me to say that。。。。 My mother herself is almost a
  beggar。。。 and I told a lie to keep my lodging。。。 and be fed;〃
  Raskolnikov said loudly and distinctly。
  〃Yes; you did very sensibly。 But the worst of it is that at that
  point Mr。 Tchebarov turns up; a business man。 Pashenka would never
  have thought of doing anything on her own account; she is too
  retiring; but the business man is by no means retiring; and first
  thing he puts the question; 'Is there any hope of realising the
  I。O。U。?' Answer: there is; because he has a mother who would save
  her Rodya with her hundred and twenty…five roubles pension; if she has
  to starve herself; and a sister; too; who would go into bondage for
  his sake。 That's what he was building upon。。。。 Why do you start? I
  know all the ins and outs of your affairs now; my dear boy… it's not
  for nothing that you were so open with Pashenka when you were her
  prospective son…in…law; and I say all this as a friend。。。。 But I
  tell you what it is; an honest and sensitive man is open; and a
  business man 'listens and goes on eating' you up。 Well; then she
  gave the I。O。U。 by way of payment to this Tchebarov; and without
  hesitation he made a formal demand for payment。 When I heard of all
  this I wanted to blow him up; too; to clear my conscience; but by that
  time harmony reigned between me and Pashenka; and I insisted on
  stopping the whole affair; engaging that you would pay。 I went
  security for you; brother。 Do you understand? We called Tchebarov;
  flung him ten roubles and got the I。O。U。 back from him; and here I
  have the honour of presenting it to you。 She trusts your word now。
  Here; take it; you see I have torn it。〃
  Razumihin put the note on the table。 Raskolnikov looked at him and
  turned to the wall without uttering a word。 Even Razumihin felt a
  twinge。
  〃I see; brother;〃 he said a moment later; 〃that I have been
  playing the fool again。 I thought I should amuse you with my
  chatter; and I believe I have only made you cross。〃
  〃Was it you I did not recognise when I was delirious?〃 Raskolnikov
  asked; after a moment's pause with