第 18 节
作者:疯狂热线      更新:2021-02-21 14:15      字数:9321
  would fain commend her to God。 He comes before her and kneels
  down; weeping; so that he moistens with his tears all his tunic
  and his ermine; and he bends his eyes to the ground; for he dares
  not look straight in front of him; just as if he has committed
  some wrong and crime towards her; and now shows by his mien that
  he has shame for it。 And Fenice; who beholds him timidly and
  shyly; knows not what matter brings him; and she has said to him
  in some distress: 〃Friend; fair sir; rise; sit by my side; weep
  no more and tell me your pleasure。〃 〃Lady! What shall I say? What
  conceal? I seek your permission to depart。〃 〃Depart? Why?〃
  〃Lady! I must go away to Britain。〃 〃Tell me; then; on what quest;
  before I give you permission。〃 〃Lady; my father; when he died and
  departed this life; prayed me on no account to fail to go to
  Britain as soon as I should be a knight。 For nothing in the world
  would I neglect his command。 It will behove me not to play the
  laggard as I go thither。 It is a very long journey from here to
  Greece; and if I were to go thither the journey from
  Constantinople to Britain would be very long for me。 But it is
  meet that I take leave of you as being the lady whose I am
  wholly。〃 Many hidden and secret sighs and sobs had he made on
  setting out; but no one had eyes so wide open or such good
  hearing as to be able to perceive for a certainty from hearing or
  sight; that there was love between the twain。 Cliges; grievous
  though it be to him; departs as soon as it is allowed him。 He
  goes away lost in thought; lost in thought remains the emperor
  and many another; but Fenice is the most pensive of all: she
  discovers neither bottom nor bound to the thought with which she
  is filled; so greatly does it overflow and multiply in her。 Full
  of thought she has come to Greece: there was she held in great
  honour as lady and empress; but her heart and spirit are with
  Cliges wherever he turns; nor ever seeks she that her heart may
  return to her unless he bring it back to her; he who is dying of
  the malady with which he has slain her。 And if he recovers; she
  will recover; never will he pay dear for it unless she too pay
  dear。 Her malady appears in her complexion; for much has she
  changed and pale has she grown。 The fresh; clear; pure hue that
  Nature had bestowed has wholly deserted her face。 Often she
  weeps; often sighs: little recks she of her empire and of the
  wealth she has。 She has always in her memory the hour that Cliges
  departed; the farewell that he took of her; how he changed
  countenance; how he blanched; his tears and his mien; for he came
  to weep before her; humble; lowly; and on his knees; as if he
  must needs worship her。 All this is pleasant and sweet for her to
  recall and to retrace。 Then to provide herself with a luscious
  morsel; she takes on her tongue in lieu of spice a sweet word;
  and for all Greece she would not wish that he who said that word
  should; in the sense in which she took it; have intended deceit;
  for she lives on no other dainty nor does aught else please her。
  This word alone sustains and feeds her and soothes for her all
  her suffering。 She seeks not to feed herself or quench her thirst
  with any other meat or drink; for when it came to the parting;
  Cliges said that he was 〃wholly hers〃。 This word is so sweet and
  good to her; that from the tongue it goes to her heart; and she
  stores it in her heart as well as in her mouth; that she may be
  the surer of it。 She dares not hide this treasure behind any
  other lock; and she would never be able to store it elsewhere so
  well as in her heart。 In no wise will she ever take it thence so
  much she fears thieves and robbers; but it is without reason that
  this fear comes to her; and without reason that she fears birds
  of prey; for this possession is immovable; rather is it like a
  building which cannot be destroyed by flood or by fire; and which
  will never move from its place。 But this she knows not; and hence
  she gives herself agony and pain to seek out and learn something
  on which she can lay hold; for in divers fashions does she
  explain it。 She holds debate within herself; and makes such
  replies as these: 〃With what intention did Cliges say to me 'I am
  wholly yours' if love did not cause him to say it? With what
  power of mine can I sway him; that he should esteem me so highly
  as to make me his lady? Is he not fairer than I; of much nobler
  birth than I? I see nought but his love that can bestow on me
  this gift。 From my own case; for I cannot evade the scrutiny; I
  will prove; that if he had not loved me he would never have
  called himself wholly mine; for just as I could not be wholly
  his; nor could in honour say so if love had not drawn me to him;
  so Cliges; on his side; could not in any wise have said that he
  was wholly mine if love has him not in his bonds。 For if he loves
  me not; he fears me not。 Love; which gives me wholly to him;
  perhaps ; gives him wholly to me; but this thought quite dismays
  me; that the phrase is one in common use and I may easily be
  deceived; for many a man there is who in flattery says; even to
  strangers: 'I am quite at your service; I; and whatsoever I
  have。' And such men are more mocking than jays。 So I know not
  what to think; for it might well be that thus he spake to flatter
  me。 But I saw him change colour and weep right piteously。 To my
  mind his tears; his shamefaced and cast…down countenance; did not
  come from deceit; no deceit or trickery was there。 The eyes from
  which I saw the tears fall did not lie to me。 Signs enow could I
  see there of love if I know aught of the matter。 Yea! I grant
  that evil was the hour in which I thought it。 Evil was the hour
  that I learnt it; and stored it in my heart; for a very great
  misfortune has happed to me from it。 A misfortune? Truly; by my
  faith! I am dead; since I see not him who has flattered and
  cajoled me so much that he has robbed me of my heart。 Through his
  deceit and smooth words; my heart is quitting its lodging and
  will not stay with me; so much it hates my dwelling and my manor。
  Faith! then; he who has my heart in his keeping has dealt ill
  with me。 He who robs me and takes away what is mine; loves me
  not; I know it well。 I know it? Why then did he weep? Why? It was
  not for nothing; for he had reason enow。 I ought to apply nought
  of it to myself because a man's sorrow is very great at parting
  from those whom he loves and knows。 I marvel not that he had
  grief and sorrow; and that he wept when he left his
  acquaintances。 But he who gave him this counsel to go and stay in
  Britain could have found no better means of wounding me to the
  heart。 One who loses his heart is wounded to the heart。 He who
  deserves sorrow ought to have it; but I never deserved it。 Alas!
  Unhappy that I am! Why; then; has Cliges slain me without any
  fault of mine? But in vain do I reproach him; for I have no
  grounds for this reproach。 Cliges would never; never; have
  forsaken meI know this wellif his heart had been in like case
  with mine。 In like case I think it is not。 And if my heart has
  joined itself to his heart; never will it leave it; never will
  his go whither without mine; for mine follows him in secret so
  close is the comradeship that they have formed。 But to tell the
  truth the two hearts are very different and contrary。 How are
  they different and contrary? His is lord; and mine is slave; and
  the slave; even against his own will; must do what is for his
  lord's good and leave out of sight all else。 But what matters it
  to me? He cares nought for my heart or for my service。 This
  division grieves me much; for thus the one heart is lord of the
  two。 Why cannot mine; all alone; avail as much as his with him?
  Thus the two would have been of equal strength。 My heart is a
  prisoner; for it cannot move unless his moves。 And if his wanders
  or tarries; mine ever prepares to follow and go after him。 God!
  Why are not our bodies so near that I could in some way have
  fetched my heart back? Have fetched it back? Poor fool! If I were
  to take it from where it is lodged so comfortably; I might kill
  it by so doing。 Let it stay there。 Never do I seek to remove it;
  rather do I will that it stay with its lord until pity for it
  come to him; for rather there than here will he be bound to have
  mercy on his servant because the two hearts are in a strange
  land。 If my heart knows how to serve up flattery as one is bound
  to serve it up at court; it will be rich before it returns。 He
  who wishes to be on good terms with his lord and to sit beside
  him on his right; as is now the use and custom; must feign to
  pluck the feather from his lord's head; even when there is no
  feather there。 But here we see an evil trait: when he flatters
  him to his face; and yet his lord has in his heart either
  baseness or villainy; never will he be so courteous as to tell
  him the truth; rather he makes him think and believe that no one
  could be a match for him in prowess or in knowledge; and the lord
  thinks that the courtier is telling the truth。 He who believes
  another anent some quality which he does not possess knows
  himself ill; for even if he is faithless and stubborn; base and
  as cowardly as a hare; niggardly and foolish and malformed;
  worthless