第 18 节
作者:打倒一切      更新:2021-02-21 13:16      字数:9321
  f you go out; you are not to be allowed to return。''
  Her hand fell from the knob。  With flashing eyes she cried; ‘‘But that is impossible!''
  ‘‘It is his orders;'' said Harding; in his usual quiet manner。  ‘‘And as he pays the bills he will be obeyed。''
  She debated。  Against her will; her trembling hand sought the knob again。  Against her will; her weak arm began to draw the door open。  Harding came toward her; stood before her and looked directly into her eyes。 His eyes had dread and entreaty in them; but his voice was as always when he said:
  ‘‘You know him; Mrs。 Siddall。''
  ‘‘Yes;'' she said。
  ‘‘The reason he has got ALL he wantedwhatever he wantedis that he will go to any length。  Every other human being; almost; has a limit; beyond which they will not goa physical fear or a moral fear or a fear of public opinion。  But the generalhe has no limit。''
  ‘‘Yes;'' she said。  And deathly pale and almost stag… gering she drew open the door and went out into the public hall。
  ‘‘For God's sake; Mrs。 Siddall!'' cried Harding; in great agitation。  ‘‘Come in quickly。  They are watching they will tell him!  Are you mad?''
  ‘‘I think I must be;'' said she。  ‘‘I am sick with fear。 I can hardly keep from dropping down here in a faint。 Yet'' a strange look; a mingling of abject terror and passionate defiance; gave her an aspect quite insane ‘‘I am going。  Perhaps I; too; have no limit。''
  And she went along the corridor; past a group of gaping and frightened servants; down the stairway and out by the private entrance for the grand apartments of the hotel in the Rue Raymond de l'Isle。  She crossed the Rue de Rivoli and entered the Tuileries Gardens。 It was only bracingly cool in the sunshine of that winter day。  She seated herself on a chair on the terrace to regain her ebbed strength。  Hardly had she sat down when the woman collector came and stood waiting for the two sous for the chair。  Mildred opened her bag; found two coins。  She gave the coppers to the woman。  The otherall the money she hadwas the fifty…centime piece。
  ‘‘But the bagI can get a good deal for that;'' she said aloud。
  ‘‘I beg your pardonI didn't catch that。''
  She came back to a sense of her surroundings。  Stanley Baird was standing a few feet away; smiling down at her。  He was; if possible; even more attractively dressed than in the days when he hovered about her; hoping vague things of which he was ashamed and try… ing to get the courage to put down his snobbishness and marry her because she so exactly suited him。  He was wearing a new kind of collar and tie; striking yet in excellent quiet taste。  Also; his face and figure had filled out just enoughhe had been too thin in the former days。  But he was now entered upon that period of the fearsome forties when; unless a man amounts to something; he begins to look insignificant。  He did not amount to anything; he was therefore paling and waning as a personality。
  ‘‘Was I thinking aloud?'' said Mildred; as she gave him her hand。
  ‘‘You said something about ‘getting a good deal。' '' He inspected her with the freedom of an old friend and with the thoroughness of a connoisseur。  Women who took pains with themselves and were satisfied with the results liked Stanley Baird's knowing and appreciative way of noting the best points in their toilets。  ‘‘You're looking fine;'' declared he。  ‘‘It must be a pleasure to them up in the Rue de la Paix to dress you。  That's more than can be said for nine out of ten of the women who go there。  Yes; you're looking fineand in grand health; too。  Why; you look younger than I ever saw you。  Nothing like marriage to freshen a girl up。 Well; I suppose waiting round for a husband who may or may not turn up does wear a woman down。''
  ‘‘It almost killed me;'' laughed Mildred。  ‘‘And you were largely responsible。''
  ‘‘I?'' said Baird。  ‘‘You didn't want me。  I was too old for you。''
  ‘‘No; I didn't want you;'' said Mildred。  ‘‘But you spoiled me。  I couldn't endure the boys of my own age。''
  Stanley was remembering that Mildred had married a man much older than he。  With some notion of a careless sort of tact in mind he said; ‘‘I was betwixt and betweenneither young enough nor old enough。''
  ‘‘You've married; too; since we met。  By the way; thank you again for that charming remembrance。 You always did have such good taste。  But why didn't you come to the weddingyou and your wife?''
  He laughed。  ‘‘We were busy busting up;'' said he。 ‘‘You hadn't heard?  It's been in the papers。  She's gone back to her people。  Oh; nothing disgraceful on either side。  Simply that we bored each other to death。 She was crazy about horses and dogs; and that set。  I think the stable's the place for horsesdon't care to have 'em parading through the house all the time; every room; every meal; sleeping and waking。  And dogs the infernal brutes always have fleas。  Fleas only tickled her; but they bite meraise welts and hills。  There's your husband now; isn't it?''
  Baird was looking up at the windows of the Continental; across the street。  Mildred's glance slowly and carelessly followed his。  At one window stood the little general; gazing abstractedly out over the gardens。  At another window Mildred saw Harding; at a third; her maid; at a fourth; Harding's assistant; Drawl; at a fifth; three servants of the retinue。  Except the general; all were looking at her。
  ‘‘You've married a very extraordinary man;'' said Baird; in a correct tone of admiration。  ‘‘One of the ablest and most interesting men we've got; _I_ think。''
  ‘‘So you are free again?'' said Mildred; looking at him with a queer; cold smile。
  ‘‘Yes; and no;'' replied Stanley。  ‘‘I hope to be entirely free。  It's her move next。  I'm expecting it every day。  But I'm thoroughly respectable。  Won't you and the general dine with me?''
  ‘‘Thanks; but I'm sailing for home to…morrow or next day。''
  ‘‘That's interesting;'' said Baird; with enthusiasm。 ‘‘So am I。  What ship do you go on?''
  ‘‘I don't know yet。  I'm to decide this afternoon; after lunch。''  She laughed。  ‘‘I'm sitting here waiting for someone to ask me to lunch。  I've not had even coffee yet。''
  ‘‘Lunch with me!'' cried Baird。  ‘‘I'll go get the generalI know him slightly。''
  ‘‘I didn't say anything about the general;'' said Mildred。
  Stanley smiled apologetically。  ‘‘It wouldn't do for you to go about with menot when my missus is looking for grounds for divorce。''
  ‘‘Why not?'' said Mildred。  ‘‘So's my husband。''
  ‘‘You busted up; too?  Now; that's what _I_ call jolly。''  And he cast a puzzled glance up at the abstracted general。  ‘‘I say; Mildred; this is no place for either of us; is it?''
  ‘‘I'd rather be where there's food;'' confessed she。
  ‘‘You think it's a joke; but I assure you  Oh; you WERE jokingabout YOUR bust…up?''
  ‘‘No; indeed;'' she assured him。  ‘‘I walked out a while ago; and I couldn't go back if I wouldand I don't think I would if I could。''
  ‘‘That's foolish。  Better go back;'' advised he。  He was preparing hastily to decamp from so perilous a neighborhood。  ‘‘One marriage is about like another; once you get through the surface。  I'm sure you'll be better off thanback with your stepfather。''
  ‘‘I've no intention of going to his house;'' she declared。 ‘‘Oh; there's your brother。  I forgot。''
  ‘‘So had I forgotten him。  I'll not go there; either。 In fact; I've not thought where I'll go。''
  ‘‘You seem to have done mighty little thinking before you took a very serious step for a woman。''  He was uneasily eying the rigid; abstracted little figure a story up across the way。
  ‘‘Those things aren't a question of thinking;'' said she absently。  ‘‘I never thought in my lifedon't think I could if I tried。  But when the time came I I walked out。''  She came back to herself; laughed。 ‘‘I don't understand why I'm telling you all this; especially as you're mad with fright and wild to get away。 Well; good…by; Stanley。''
  He lifted his hat。  ‘‘Good…by。  We'll meet when we can do so without my getting a scandal on you。''  He walked a few paces; turned; and came back。  ‘‘By the way; I'm sailing on the Deutschland。  I thought you'd like to knowso that you and I wouldn't by any chance cross on the same boat。''
  ‘‘Thanks;'' said she dryly。
  ‘‘What's the matter?'' asked he; arrested; despite his anxiety to be gone; by the sad; scornful look in her eyes。
  ‘‘Nothing。  Why?''
  ‘‘You had such asuch a queer look。''
  ‘‘Really?  Good…by。''
  In fact; she had thoughthad hoped for the sake of her liking for himthat he had come back to make the glaringly omitted offer of help that should have come from any human being learning that a fellow being was in the precarious position in which she had told him she was。  Not that she would have accepted any such offer。  Still; she would have liked to have heard the kindly words。  She sat watching his handsome; graceful figure; draped in the most artistically cut of long dark overcoats; until he disappeared in the crowd in the Rue de Castiglione。  Then; without a glance up at the interested; not to say excited windows of the general's splendid and spreading apartments; she strolled down the gardens toward the Place Concorde。 In Paris the beautiful; on a bright and brisk day it is all but impossible