第 3 节
作者:打倒一切      更新:2021-02-21 13:03      字数:9300
  to Edward or the rest of the Cullens。 It was just something that accumulated when you had unlimited time
  on your hands and a sister who had an uncanny ability to predict trends in the stock market。 Edward
  didn't seem to understand why I objected to him spending money on me—why it made me
  uncomfortable if he took me to an expensive restaurant in Seattle; why he wasn't allowed to buy me a car
  that could reach speeds over fifty…five miles an hour; or why I wouldn't let him pay my college tuition (he
  was ridiculously enthusiastic about Plan B)。 Edward thought I was being unnecessarily difficult。
  But how could I let him give me things when I had nothing to reciprocate with? He; for some
  unfathomable reason; wanted to be with me。 Anything he gave me on top of that just threw us more out
  of balance。
  As the day went on; neither Edward nor Alice brought my birthday up again; and I began to relax a little。
  We sat at our usual table for lunch。
  A strange kind of truce existed at that table。 The three of us—Edward; Alice; and I—sat on the extreme
  southern end of the table。 Now that the 〃older〃 and somewhat scarier (in Emmett's case; certainly) Cullen
  siblings had graduated; Alice and Edward did not seem quite so intimidating; and we did not sit here
  alone。 My other friends; Mike and Jessica (who were in the awkward post…breakup friendship phase);
  Angela and Ben (whose relationship had survived the summer); Eric; Conner; Tyler; and Lauren (though
  that last one didn't really count in the friend category) all sat at the same table; on the other side of an
  invisible line。 That line dissolved on sunny days when Edward and Alice always skipped school; and then
  the conversation would swell out effortlessly to include me。
  Edward and Alice didn't find this minor ostracism odd or hurtful the way I would have。 They barely
  noticed it。 People always felt strangely ill at ease with the Cullens; almost afraid for some reason they
  couldn't explain to themselves。 I was a rare exception to that rule。 Sometimes it bothered Edward how
  very comfortable I was with being close to him。 He thought he was hazardous to my health—an opinion I
  rejected vehemently whenever he voiced it。
  The afternoon passed quickly。 School ended; and Edward walked me to my truck as he usually did。 But
  this time; he held the passenger door open for me。 Alice must have been taking his car home so that he
  could keep me from making a run for it。
  I folded my arms and made no move to get out of the rain。 〃It's my birthday; don't I get to drive?〃
  〃I'm pretending it's not your birthday; just as you wished。〃
  〃If it's not my birthday; then I don't have to go to your house tonight…〃
  〃All right。〃 He shut the passenger door and walked past me to open the driver's side。 〃Happy birthday。〃
  〃Shh;〃 I shushed him halfheartedly。 I climbed in the opened door; wishing he'd taken the other offer。
  Edward played with the radio while I drove; shaking his head in disapproval。
  〃Your radio has horrible reception。〃
  I frowned。 I didn't like it when he picked on my truck。 The truck was great—it had personality。
  〃You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car。〃 I was so nervous about Alice's plans; on top of my
  already gloomy mood; that the words came out sharper than I'd meant them。 I was hardly ever
  bad…tempered with Edward; and my tone made him press his lips together to keep from smiling。
  When I parked in front of Charlie's house; he reached over to take my face in his hands。 He handled me
  very carefully; pressing just the tips of his fingers softly against my temples; my cheekbones; my jawline。
  Like I was especially breakable。 Which was exactly the case—compared with him; at least。
  〃You should be in a good mood; today of all days;〃 he whispered。 His sweet breath fanned across my
  face。
  〃And if I don't want to be in a good mood?〃 I asked; my breathing uneven。
  His golden eyes smoldered。 〃Too bad。〃
  My head was already spinning by the time he leaned closer and pressed his icy lips against mine。 As he
  intended; no doubt; I forgot all about my worries; and concentrated on remembering how to inhale and
  exhale。
  His mouth lingered on mine; cold and smooth and gentle; until I wrapped my arms around his neck and
  threw myself into the kiss with a little too much enthusiasm。 I could feel his lips curve upward as he let go
  of my face and reached back to unlock my grip on him。
  Edward had drawn many careful lines for our physical relationship; with the intent being to keep me alive。
  Though I respected the need for maintaining a safe distance between my skin and his razor…sharp;
  venom…coated teeth; I tended to forget about trivial things like that when he was kissing me。
  〃Be good; please;〃 he breathed against my cheek。 He pressed his lips gently to mine one more time and
  then pulled away; folding my arms across my stomach。
  My pulse was thudding in my ears。 I put one hand over my heart。 It drummed hyperactively under my
  palm。
  〃Do you think I'll ever get better at this?〃 I wondered; mostly to myself。 〃That my heart might someday
  stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?〃
  〃I really hope not;〃 he said; a bit smug。
  I rolled my eyes。 〃Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up; all right?〃
  〃Your wish; my command。〃
  Edward sprawled across the couch while I started the movie; fast…forwarding through the opening
  credits。
  When I perched on the edge of the sofa in front of him; he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled
  me against his chest。 It wasn't exactly as comfortable as a sofa cushion would be; what with his chest
  being hard and cold—and perfect—as an ice sculpture; but it was definitely preferable。 He pulled the old
  afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me so I wouldn't freeze beside his body。
  〃You know; I've never had much patience with Romeo;〃 he commented as the movie started。
  〃What's wrong with Romeo?〃 I asked; a little offended。 Romeo was one of my favorite fictional
  characters。 Until I'd met Edward; I'd sort of had a thing for him。
  〃Well; first of all; he's in love with this Rosaline—don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And
  then; a few minutes after their wedding; he kills Juliet's cousin。 That's not very brilliant。 Mistake after
  mistake。 Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?〃
  I sighed。 〃Do you want me to watch this alone?〃
  〃No; I'll mostly be watching you; anyway。〃 His fingers traced patterns across the skin of my arm; raising
  goose bumps。 〃Will you cry?〃
  〃Probably;〃 I admitted; 〃if I'm paying attention。〃
  〃I won't distract you then。〃 But I felt his lips on my hair; and it was very distracting。
  The movie eventually captured my interest; thanks in large part to Edward whispering Romeo's lines in
  my ear—his irresistible; velvet voice made the actor's voice sound weak and coarse by comparison。 And
  I did cry; to his amusement; when Juliet woke and found her new husband dead。
  〃I'll admit; I do sort of envy him here;〃 Edward said; drying the tears with a lock of my hair。
  〃She's very pretty。〃
  He made a disgusted sound。 〃I don't envy him the girl—just the ease of the suicide;〃 he clarified in a
  teasing tone。 〃You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant
  extracts…〃
  〃What?〃 I gasped。
  〃It's something I had to think about once; and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be
  simple。 I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning… after he realized
  what he'd become…〃 His voice; which had grown serious; turned light again。 〃And he's clearly still in
  excellent health。〃
  I twisted around so that I could read his face。 〃What are you talking about?〃 I demanded。 〃What do you
  mean; this something you had to think about once?〃
  〃Last spring; when you were… nearly killed…〃 He paused to take a deep breath; snuggling to return to
  his teasing tone。 〃Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive; but part of my mind was making
  contingency plans。 Like I said; it's not as easy for me as it is for a human。〃
  For one second; the memory of my last trip to Phoenix washed through my head and made me feel dizzy。
  I could see it all so clearly—the blinding sun; the heat waves coming off the concrete as I ran with
  desperate haste to find the sadistic vampire who wanted to torture me to death。 James; waiting in the
  mirrored room with my mother as his hostage—or so I'd thought。 I hadn't known it was all a ruse。 Just as
  James hadn't known that Edward was racing to save me; Edward made it in time; but it had been a close
  one。 Unthinkingly; my fingers traced the crescent…shaped scar on my hand that was always just a few
  degrees cooler than the rest of my skin。
  I shook my head—as if I could shake away the bad memories—and tried to grasp what Edward meant。
  My stomach plunged uncomfortably。 〃Contingency plans?〃 I repeated。
  〃Well; I wasn't going to live without you。〃 He rolled his eyes as if that fact were childishly obvious。 〃But I
  wasn't sure how to do it—I knew Emmett and Jasper wo