第 24 节
作者:浮游云中      更新:2021-02-20 16:27      字数:9321
  for them; the door between his soul and his senses was closed。
  〃I know that I have been bold in speaking to you in this way;〃 she said
  at last; seating herself in a chair at the window。         〃But it was yourself who
  asked me。      And I have felt all the time that I should have to tell you this
  before we parted。〃
  〃And;〃   answered      he;  making     a  strong   effort  to  appear   calm;   〃if  I
  follow your advice; will you allow me to see you once more before you
  go?〃
  〃I shall remain here another week; and shall; during that time; always
  be ready to receive you。〃
  〃Thank you。      Good…bye。〃
  〃Good…bye。〃
  Ralph    carefully    avoided    all  the  fashionable    thoroughfares;     he  felt
  degraded before himself; and he had an idea that every man could read his
  humiliation in his countenance。          Now he walked on quickly; striking the
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  sidewalk      with   his   heels;   now;    again;   he   fell  into  an   uneasy;    reckless
  saunter; according as the changing moods inspired defiance of his sentence;
  or a qualified surrender。        And; as he walked on; the bitterness grew within
  him;   and   he   pitilessly   reviled   himself   for   having   allowed   himself   to   be
  made a fool of by 〃that little country goose;〃 when he was well aware that
  there were hundreds of women of the best families of the land who would
  feel   honored   at   receiving   his   attentions。     But   this   sort   of   reasoning   he
  knew to he both weak and contemptible; and his better self soon rose in
  loud rebellion。
  〃After   all;〃   he   muttered;   〃in   the   main   thing   she   was   right。  I   am   a
  miserable good…for… nothing; a hot…house plant; a poor stick; and if I were
  a woman myself; I don't think I should waste my affections on a man of
  that calibre。〃
  Then he unconsciously fell to analyzing Bertha's character; wondering
  vaguely that a person   who moved so timidly  in social life; appearing   so
  diffident; from an ever…present fear of blundering against the established
  forms   of   etiquette;   could   judge   so   quickly;   and   with   such   a   merciless
  certainty; whenever a moral question; a question of right and wrong; was
  at issue。     And; pursuing the same train of thought; he contrasted her with
  himself;   who   moved   in   the   highest   spheres   of   society   as   in   his   native
  element; heedless of moral scruples; and conscious of no loftier motive for
  his actions than the immediate pleasure of the moment。                    As Ralph turned
  the corner of a street; he heard himself hailed from the other sidewalk by a
  chorus of merry voices。
  〃Ah;   my   dear   Baroness;〃   cried   a   young   man;   springing   across   the
  street   and   grasping   Ralph's   hand   (all   his   student   friends   called   him   the
  Baroness);   〃in   the   name   of   this   illustrious   company;   allow   me   to   salute
  you。     But why the deucewhat is the matter with you?                   If you have the
  Katzenjammer;'7' soda…water is the thing。                Come along;it's my treat!〃
  '7'   Katzenjammer   is   the   sensation   a   man   has   the   morning   after   a
  carousal。
  The students instantly thronged around Ralph; who stood distractedly
  swinging his cane and smiling idiotically。
  〃I am not quite well;〃 said he; 〃leave me alone。〃
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  〃No;   to   be   sure;   you   don't   look   well;〃   cried   a   jolly   youth;   against
  whom Bertha had frequently warned him; 〃but a glass of sherry will soon
  restore you。      It   would be highly  immoral to leave  you in   this   condition
  without taking care of you。〃
  Ralph     again   vainly   tried   to  remonstrate;     but  the   end   was;   that  he
  reluctantly followed。
  He had always been a conspicuous figure in the student world; but that
  night he astonished his friends by his eloquence; his reckless humor; and
  his   capacity     for  drinking。     He    made     a  speech    for   〃Woman;〃      which
  bristled   with   wit;   cynicism;   and   sarcastic   epigrams。       One   young   man;
  named      Vinter;    who    was    engaged;     undertook      to   protest   against    his
  sweeping   condemnation;   and   declared   that   Ralph;   who   was   a   Universal
  favorite among the ladies; ought to be the last to revile them。
  〃If;〃   he   went   on;   〃the   Baroness   should   propose   to   six   well…known
  ladies    here   in   this  city  whom      I  could    mention;    I  would     wager    six
  Johannisbergers;   and   an   equal   amount   of   champagne;   that   every   one   of
  them would accept him。〃
  The   others   loudly   applauded   this   proposal;   and   Ralph   accepted   the
  wager。     The letters were written on the spot; and immediately dispatched。
  Toward morning; the merry carousal broke up; and Ralph was conducted
  in triumph to his home。
  III。
  Two   days   later;   Ralph   again   knocked   on   Bertha's   door。      He   looked
  paler    than   usual;   almost     haggard;    his   immaculate      linen   was    a  little
  crumpled; and he   carried no cane;   his lips were   tightly compressed;  and
  his face wore an air of desperate resolution。
  〃It is done;〃 he said; as he seated himself opposite her。             〃I am going。〃
  〃Going!〃      cried   she;   startled    at  his   unusual    appearance。       〃How;
  where?〃
  〃To America。        I sail to…night。     I have followed your advice; you see。
  I have cut off the last bridge behind me。〃
  〃But;    Ralph;〃     she   exclaimed;     in  a   voice   of   alarm。    〃Something
  dreadful must have happened。            Tell me quick; I must know it。〃
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  〃No; nothing dreadful;〃 muttered he; smiling bitterly。              〃I have made a
  little scandal; that is all。     My father told me to…day to go to the devil; if I
  chose; and my mother gave me five hundred dollars to help me along on
  the way。     If you wish to know; here is the explanation。〃
  And he pulled from his pocket six perfumed and carefully folded notes;
  and threw them into her lap。
  〃Do you wish me to read them?〃 she asked; with growing surprise。
  〃Certainly。     Why not?〃
  She hastily opened one note after the other; and read。
  〃But;   Ralph;〃   she   cried;   springing   up   from   her   seat;   while   her   eyes
  flamed with indignation; 〃what does this mean?               What have you done?〃
  〃I   didn't   think   it   needed   any   explanation;〃   replied   he;   with   feigned
  indifference。      〃I proposed to them all; and; you see; they all accepted me。
  I   received   all   these   letters   to…day。 I   only   wished   to   know   whether   the
  whole   world   regarded   me   as   such   a   worthless   scamp   as   you   told   me   I
  was。〃
  She did not answer; but sat mutely staring at him; fiercely crumpling a
  rose…colored note in her hand。          He began to feel uncomfortable under her
  gaze; and threw himself about uneasily in his chair。
  〃Well;〃   said   he;   at   length;   rising;   〃I   suppose   there   is   nothing   more。
  Good…bye。〃
  〃One     moment;     Mr。   Grim;〃    demanded      she;   sternly。   〃Since    I  have
  already said so much; and you have obligingly revealed to me a new side
  of your character; I   claim the right   to correct the opinion I expressed of
  you at our last meeting。〃
  〃I am all attention。〃
  〃I   did   think;   Mr。   Grim;〃   began   she;   breathing   hard;   and   steadying
  herself against the table at which she stood; 〃that you were a very selfish
  manan embodiment of selfishness; absolute and supreme; but I did not
  believe that you were wicked。〃
  〃And what convinced you that I was selfish; if I may ask?〃
  〃What      convinced     me?〃    repeated     she;  in   a  tone   of   inexpressible
  contempt。      〃When did you ever act from any generous regard for others?
  What good did you ever do to anybody?〃
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  〃You might ask; with equal justice; what good I ever did to myself。〃
  〃In a certain sense; yes; because to gratify a mere momentary wish is
  hardly doing one's self good。〃
  〃Then I have; at all events; followed the Biblical precept; and treated
  my