第 64 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2021-02-20 15:58      字数:9322
  in which I pierced the Arcana of our knowledge; have I ever
  sought to make its mysteries subservient to unworthy objects;
  though; alas! the extension of our existence robs us of a country
  and a home; though the law that places all science; as all art;
  in the abstraction from the noisy passions and turbulent ambition
  of actual life; forbids us to influence the destinies of nations;
  for which Heaven selects ruder and blinder agencies; yet;
  wherever have been my wanderings; I have sought to soften
  distress; and to convert from sin。  My power has been hostile
  only to the guilty; and yet with all our lore; how in each step
  we are reduced to be but the permitted instruments of the Power
  that vouchsafes our own; but only to direct it。  How all our
  wisdom shrinks into nought; compared with that which gives the
  meanest herb its virtues; and peoples the smallest globule with
  its appropriate world。  And while we are allowed at times to
  influence the happiness of others; how mysteriously the shadows
  thicken round our own future doom!  We cannot be prophets to
  ourselves!  With what trembling hope I nurse the thought that I
  may preserve to my solitude the light of a living smile!
  。。。
  Extracts from Letter II。
  Deeming myself not pure enough to initiate so pure a heart; I
  invoke to her trance those fairest and most tender inhabitants of
  space that have furnished to poetry; which is the instinctive
  guess into creation; the ideas of the Glendoveer and Sylph。  And
  these were less pure than her own thoughts; and less tender than
  her own love!  They could not raise her above her human heart;
  for THAT has a heaven of its own。
  。。。
  I have just looked on her in sleep;I have heard her breathe my
  name。  Alas! that which is so sweet to others has its bitterness
  to me; for I think how soon the time may come when that sleep
  will be without a dream;when the heart that dictates the name
  will be cold; and the lips that utter it be dumb。  What a twofold
  shape there is in love!  If we examine it coarsely;if we look
  but on its fleshy ties; its enjoyments of a moment; its turbulent
  fever and its dull reaction;how strange it seems that this
  passion should be the supreme mover of the world; that it is this
  which has dictated the greatest sacrifices; and influenced all
  societies and all times; that to this the loftiest and loveliest
  genius has ever consecrated its devotion; that; but for love;
  there were no civilisation; no music; no poetry; no beauty; no
  life beyond the brute's。
  But examine it in its heavenlier shape;in its utter abnegation
  of self; in its intimate connection with all that is most
  delicate and subtle in the spirit;its power above all that is
  sordid in existence; its mastery over the idols of the baser
  worship; its ability to create a palace of the cottage; an oasis
  in the desert; a summer in the Iceland;where it breathes; and
  fertilises; and glows; and the wonder rather becomes how so few
  regard it in its holiest nature。  What the sensual call its
  enjoyments; are the least of its joys。  True love is less a
  passion than a symbol。  Mejnour; shall the time come when I can
  speak to thee of Viola as a thing that was?
  。。。
  Extract from Letter III。
  Knowest thou that of late I have sometimes asked myself; 〃Is
  there no guilt in the knowledge that has so divided us from our
  race?〃  It is true that the higher we ascend the more hateful
  seem to us the vices of the short…lived creepers of the earth;
  the more the sense of the goodness of the All…good penetrates and
  suffuses us; and the more immediately does our happiness seem to
  emanate from him。  But; on the other hand; how many virtues must
  lie dead in those who live in the world of death; and refuse to
  die!  Is not this sublime egotism; this state of abstraction and
  reverie;this self…wrapped and self…dependent majesty of
  existence; a resignation of that nobility which incorporates our
  own welfare; our joys; our hopes; our fears with others?  To live
  on in no dread of foes; undegraded by infirmity; secure through
  the cares; and free from the disease of flesh; is a spectacle
  that captivates our pride。  And yet dost thou not more admire him
  who dies for another?  Since I have loved her; Mejnour; it seems
  almost cowardice to elude the grave which devours the hearts that
  wrap us in their folds。  I feel it;the earth grows upon my
  spirit。  Thou wert right; eternal age; serene and passionless; is
  a happier boon than eternal youth; with its yearnings and
  desires。  Until we can be all spirit; the tranquillity of
  solitude must be indifference。
  。。。
  Extracts from Letter IV。
  I have received thy communication。  What! is it so?  Has thy
  pupil disappointed thee?  Alas; poor pupil!  But
  。。。
  (Here follow comments on those passages in Glyndon's life already
  known to the reader; or about to be made so; with earnest
  adjurations to Mejnour to watch yet over the fate of his
  scholar。)
  。。。
  But I cherish the same desire; with a warmer heart。  My pupil!
  how the terrors that shall encompass thine ordeal warn me from
  the task!  Once more I will seek the Son of Light。
  。。。
  Yes; Adon…Ai; long deaf to my call; at last has descended to my
  vision; and left behind him the glory of his presence in the
  shape of Hope。  Oh; not impossible; Viola;not impossible; that
  we yet may be united; soul with soul!
  Extract from Letter V。(Many months after the last。)
  Mejnour; awake from thine apathy;rejoice!  A new soul will be
  born to the world;a new soul that shall call me father。  Ah; if
  they for whom exist all the occupations and resources of human
  life;if they can thrill with exquisite emotion at the thought
  of hailing again their own childhood in the faces of their
  children; if in that birth they are born once more into the holy
  Innocence which is the first state of existence; if they can feel
  that on man devolves almost an angel's duty; when he has a life
  to guide from the cradle; and a soul to nurture for the heaven;
  what to me must be the rapture to welcome an inheritor of all the
  gifts which double themselves in being shared!  How sweet the
  power to watch; and to guard;to instil the knowledge; to avert
  the evil; and to guide back the river of life in a richer and
  broader and deeper stream to the paradise from which it flows!
  And beside that river our souls shall meet; sweet mother。  Our
  child shall supply the sympathy that fails as yet; and what shape
  shall haunt thee; what terror shall dismay; when thy initiation
  is beside the cradle of thy child!
  CHAPTER 4。XI。
  They thus beguile the way
  Untill the blustring storme is overblowne;
  When weening to returne whence they did stray;
  They cannot finde that path which first was showne;
  But wander to and fro in waies unknowne。
  Spenser's 〃Faerie Queene;〃 book i。 canto i。 st。 x。
  Yes; Viola; thou art another being than when; by the threshold of
  thy Italian home; thou didst follow thy dim fancies through the
  Land of Shadow; or when thou didst vainly seek to give voice to
  an ideal beauty; on the boards where illusion counterfeits earth
  and heaven for an hour; till the weary sense; awaking; sees but
  the tinsel and the scene…shifter。  Thy spirit reposes in its own
  happiness。  Its wanderings have found a goal。  In a moment there
  often dwells the sense of eternity; for when profoundly happy; we
  know that it is impossible to die。  Whenever the soul FEELS
  ITSELF; it feels everlasting life。
  The initiation is deferred;thy days and nights are left to no
  other visions than those with which a contented heart enchants a
  guileless fancy。  Glendoveers and Sylphs; pardon me if I question
  whether those visions are not lovelier than yourselves。
  They stand by the beach; and see the sun sinking into the sea。
  How long now have they dwelt on that island?  What matters!it
  may be months; or yearswhat matters!  Why should I; or they;
  keep account of that happy time?  As in the dream of a moment
  ages may seem to pass; so shall we measure transport or woe;by
  the length of the dream; or the number of emotions that the dream
  involves?
  The sun sinks slowly down; the air is arid and oppressive; on the
  sea; the stately vessel lies motionless; on the shore; no leaf
  trembles on the trees。
  Viola drew nearer to Zanoni。  A presentiment she could not define
  made her heart beat more quickly; and; looking into his face; she
  was struck with its expression:  it was anxious; abstracted;
  perturbed。  〃This stillness awes me;〃 she whispered。
  Zanoni did not seem to hear her。  He muttered to himself; and his
  eyes gazed round restlessly。  She knew not why; but that gaze;
  which seemed to pierce into space;that muttered voice in some
  foreign languagerevived dimly her earlier superstitions。  She
  was more fearful since the hour when she knew that she was to be
  a mother。  Strange crisis in the life of woman; an