第 36 节
作者:冬冬      更新:2021-02-20 15:54      字数:9322
  other leaders of the strike were to be engaged in conferences during the
  forenoon; for I wanted to be alone; to try to get a few things straightened
  out in my mind。
  But    I  soon   found    that  a   city  is  a  poor   place    for  reflection   or
  contemplation。       It   bombards      one   with    an   infinite   variety    of   new
  impressions   and   new   adventures;   and   I   could   not   escape   the   impression
  made by crowded houses; and ill…smelling streets; and dirty sidewalks; and
  swarming human beings。 For a time the burden of these things rested upon
  my breast like a leaden weight; they all seemed so utterly wrong to me; so
  unnecessary; so unjust! I sometimes think of religion as only a high sense
  of   good   order;   and   it   seemed   to   me   that   morning   as   though   the   very
  existence of this disorderly mill district was a challenge to religion; and an
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  offence   to   the   Orderer   of   an   Orderly   Universe。   I   don't   now   how   such
  conditions may affect other people; but for a time I felt a sharp sense of
  impatienceyes; angerwith it all。 I   had an impulse   to take off my  coat
  then and there and go at the job of setting things to rights。 Oh; I never was
  more serious in my life: I was quite prepared to change the entire scheme
  of things to my way of thinking whether the people who lived there liked
  it or not。 It seemed to me for a few glorious moments that I had only to tell
  them     of   the  wonders      in  our   country;    the   pleasant;   quiet   roads;    the
  comfortable farmhouses; the fertile fields; and the wooded hillsand; poof!
  all this crowded poverty would dissolve and disappear; and they would all
  come to the country and be as happy as I was。
  I   remember   how;   once   in   my   life;   I   wasted   untold   energy   trying   to
  make     over    my   dearest    friends。   There    was   Harriet;   for  example      dear;
  serious; practical Harriet。 I used to be fretted by the way she was forever
  trying to clip my wing feathersI suppose to keep me close to the quiet
  and friendly and unadventurous roost! We come by such a long; long road;
  sometimes; to the acceptance of our nearest friends for exactly what they
  are。   Because   we   are   so   fond   of   them   we   try   to   make   them   over   to   suit
  some curious ideal of perfection of our ownuntil one day we suddenly
  laugh aloud at our own absurdity (knowing that they are probably trying as
  hard to reconstruct us as we are to reconstruct them) and thereafter we try
  no more to change them; we just love 'em and enjoy 'em!
  Some   such   psychological   process   went   on   in   my   consciousness   that
  morning。 As I walked briskly through the streets I began to look out more
  broadly around me。 It was really a perfect spring morning; the air crisp;
  fresh; and sunny; and the streets full of life and activity。 I looked into the
  faces   of   the   people   I   met;   and   it   began   to   strike   me   that   most   of   them
  seemed oblivious of the fact that they should; by good rights; be looking
  downcast and dispirited。 They had cheered their approval the night before
  when      the   speakers    had    told   them    how    miserable     they    were    (even
  acknowledging that they were slaves); and yet here they were this morning
  looking   positively   good…humoured;   cheerful;   some   of   them   even   gay。   I
  warrant if I had stepped up to one of them that morning and intimated that
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  he was a slave he would havewell; I should have had serious trouble with
  him!   There   was   a   degree   of   sociability   in   those   back   streets;   a   visiting
  from window to window; gossipy gatherings in front area…ways; a sort of
  pavement domesticity; that I had never seen before。 Being a lover myself
  of such friendly intercourse I could actually feel the hum and warmth of
  that neighbourhood。
  A   group    of   brightly   clad   girl  strikers   gathered    on   a  corner    were
  chatting and laughing; and children in plenty ran and shouted at their play
  in   the   street。   I   saw   a   group   of   them   dancing   merrily   around   an   Italian
  hand…organ man who was filling the air with jolly music。 I recall what a
  sinking     sensation    I  had   at  the  pit  of  my    reformer's    stomach     when    it
  suddenly occurred to me that these people some of them; anyway; might
  actually  LIKE  this   crowded;  sociable neighbourhood!   〃They  might   even
  HATE the country;〃 I exclaimed。
  It   is   surely   one   of   the   fundamental   humours   of   life   to   see   absurdly
  serious little human beings (like D。 G。 for example) trying to stand in the
  place of the Almighty。 We are so confoundedly infallible in our judgments;
  so sure of what is good for our neighbour; so eager to force upon him our
  particular doctors or our particular remedies; we are so willing to put our
  childish   fingers   into   the   machinery   of   creationand   we   howl   so   lustily
  when we get them pinched!
  〃Why!〃   I   exclaimed;   for   it   came   to   me   like   a   new   discovery;   〃it's
  exactly the same here as it is in the country! I haven't got to make over the
  universe: I've only got to do my own small job; and to look up often at the
  trees and the hills and the sky and be friendly with all men。〃
  I   cannot    express    the   sense   of   comfort;    and   of   trust;  which    this
  reflection brought me。 I recall stopping just then at the corner of a small
  green city square; for I had now reached the better part of the city; and of
  seeing with keen pleasure the green of the grass and the bright colour of a
  bed of flowers; and two or three clean nursemaids with clean baby cabs;
  and a flock of pigeons pluming themselves near a stone fountain; and an
  old tired horse sleeping in the sun with his nose buried in a feed bag。
  〃Why;〃 I said; 〃all this; too; is beautiful!〃 So I continued my walk with
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  quite   a   new   feeling   in   my   heart;   prepared   again   for   any   adventure   life
  might have to offer me。
  I   supposed   I   knew   no   living   soul   in   Kilburn   but   Bill   the   Socialist。
  What   was   my   astonishment   and   pleasure;   then   in   one   of   the   business
  streets to discover a familiar face and figure。 A man was just stepping from
  an automobile to the sidewalk。 For an instant; in that unusual environment;
  I could not place him; then I stepped up quickly and said:
  〃Well; well; Friend Vedder。〃
  He looked around with astonishment at the man in the shabby clothes
  but it was only for an instant。
  〃David Grayson!〃 he exclaimed; 〃and how did YOU get into the city?〃
  〃Walked;〃 I said。
  〃But I thought you were an incurable and irreproachable countryman!
  Why are you here?〃
  〃Love o' life;〃 I said; 〃love o' life。〃
  〃Where are you stopping?〃 I waved my hand。
  〃Where   the   road   leaves   me;〃   I   said。   〃Last   night   I   left   my   bag   with
  some good friends I made in front of a livery stable and I spent the night in
  the mill district with a Socialist named Bill Hahn。〃
  〃Bill Hahn!〃 The effect upon Mr。 Vedder was magical。
  〃Why; yes;〃 I said; 〃and a remarkable man he is; too。〃
  I discovered immediately that my friend was quite as much interested
  in the strike as Bill Hahn; but on the other side。 He was; indeed; one of the
  directors of the greatest mill in Kilburnthe very one which I had seen the
  night   before   surrounded   by   armed   sentinels。   It   was   thrilling   to   me;   this
  knowledge;   for   it   seemed   to   plump   me   down   at   once   in   the   middle   of
  thingsand soon; indeed; brought me nearer to the brink of great events
  than ever I was before in all my days。
  I could see that Mr。 Vedder considered Bill Hahn as a sort of devouring
  monster;   a   wholly   incendiary  and   dangerous   person。   So   terrible;   indeed;
  was      the   warning      he    gave    me     (considering      me;    I   suppose      an
  unsophisticated person) that I couldn't help laughing outright。
  〃I assure you〃 he began; apparently much offended。
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  But I interrupted him。
  〃I'm sorry I laughed;〃 I said; 〃but as you were talking about Bill Hahn;
  I couldn't help thinking of him as I first saw him。〃 And I