第 124 节
作者:套牢      更新:2021-02-20 15:35      字数:9321
  〃Is he so weak that he cannot spare the help of a weary man?  But I
  think he must prefer quality to quantity; and for healthy work you
  must be healthy yourself。  How can you be the visible sign of the
  Christ…present amongst men; if you inhabit an exhausted; irritable
  brain?  Go to God's infirmary and rest a while。  Bring back health
  from the country to those that cannot go to it。  If on the way it be
  transmuted into spiritual forms; so much the better。  A little more
  of God will make up for a good deal less of you。'
  'What did he say to that?'
  'He said our Lord died doing the will of his Father。  I told
  him〃Yes; when his time was come; not sooner。  Besides; he often
  avoided both speech and action。〃 〃Yes;〃 he answered; 〃but he could
  tell when; and we cannot。〃 〃Therefore;〃 I rejoined; 〃you ought to
  accept your exhaustion as a token that your absence will be the best
  thing for your people。  If there were no God; then perhaps you ought
  to work till you drop down deadI don't know。〃'
  'Is he gone yet?'
  'No。 He won't go。  I couldn't persuade him。'
  'When do you go?'
  'To…morrow。'
  'I shall be ready; if you really mean it。'
  'That's an if worthy only of a courtier。  There may be much virtue
  in an if; as Touchstone says; for the taking up of a quarrel; but
  that if is bad enough to breed one;' said Falconer; laughing。 'Be at
  the Paddington Station at noon to…morrow。  To tell the whole truth;
  I want you to help me with my father。'
  This last was said at the door as he showed me out。
  In the afternoon we were nearing Bristol。  It was a lovely day in
  October。  Andrew had been enjoying himself; but it was evidently
  rather the pleasure of travelling in a first…class carriage like a
  gentleman than any delight in the beauty of heaven and earth。  The
  country was in the rich sombre dress of decay。
  'Is it not remarkable;' said my friend to me; 'that the older I
  grow; I find autumn affecting me the more like spring?'
  'I am thankful to say;' interposed Andrew; with a smile in which was
  mingled a shade of superiority; 'that no change of the seasons ever
  affects me。'
  'Are you sure you are right in being thankful for that; father?'
  asked his son。
  His father gazed at him for a moment; seemed to bethink himself
  after some feeble fashion or other; and rejoined;
  'Well; I must confess I did feel a touch of the rheumatism this
  morning。'
  How I pitied Falconer!  Would he ever see of the travail of his soul
  in this man?  But he only smiled a deep sweet smile; and seemed to
  be thinking divine things in that great head of his。
  At Bristol we went on board a small steamer; and at night were
  landed at a little village on the coast of North Devon。  The hotel
  to which we went was on the steep bank of a tumultuous little river;
  which tumbled past its foundation of rock; like a troop of watery
  horses galloping by with ever…dissolving limbs。  The elder Falconer
  retired almost as soon as we had had supper。  My friend and I
  lighted our pipes; and sat by the open window; for although the
  autumn was so far advanced; the air here was very mild。  For some
  time we only listened to the sound of the waters。
  'There are three things;' said Falconer at last; taking his pipe out
  of his mouth with a smile; 'that give a peculiarly perfect feeling
  of abandonment: the laughter of a child; a snake lying across a
  fallen branch; and the rush of a stream like this beneath us; whose
  only thought is to get to the sea。'
  We did not talk much that night; however; but went soon to bed。
  None of us slept well。  We agreed in the morning that the noise of
  the stream had been too much for us all; and that the place felt
  close and torpid。  Andrew complained that the ceaseless sound
  wearied him; and Robert that he felt the aimless endlessness of it
  more than was good for him。  I confess it irritated me like an
  anodyne unable to soothe。  We were clearly all in want of something
  different。  The air between the hills clung to them; hot and
  moveless。  We would climb those hills; and breathe the air that
  flitted about over their craggy tops。
  As soon as we had breakfasted; we set out。  It was soon evident that
  Andrew could not ascend the steep road。  We returned and got a
  carriage。  When we reached the top; it was like a resurrection; like
  a dawning of hope out of despair。  The cool friendly wind blew on
  our faces; and breathed strength into our frames。  Before us lay the
  ocean; the visible type of the invisible; and the vessels with their
  white sails moved about over it like the thoughts of men feebly
  searching the unknown。  Even Andrew Falconer spread out his arms to
  the wind; and breathed deep; filling his great chest full。
  'I feel like a boy again;' he said。
  His son strode to his side; and laid his arm over his shoulders。
  'So do I; father;' he returned; 'but it is because I have got you。'
  The old man turned and looked at him with a tenderness I had never
  seen on his face before。  As soon as I saw that; I no longer doubted
  that he could be saved。
  We found rooms in a farm…house on the topmost height。
  'These are poor little hills; Falconer;' I said。 'Yet they help one
  like mountains。'
  'The whole question is;' he returned; 'whether they are high enough
  to lift you out of the dirt。  Here we are in the airs of
  heaventhat is all we need。'
  'They make me think how often; amongst the country people of
  Scotland; I have wondered at the clay…feet upon which a golden head
  of wisdom stood!  What poor needs; what humble aims; what a narrow
  basement generally; was sufficient to support the statues of
  pure…eyed Faith and white…handed Hope;'
  'Yes;' said Falconer: 'he who is faithful over a few things is a
  lord of cities。  It does not matter whether you preach in
  Westminster Abbey; or teach a ragged class; so you be faithful。  The
  faithfulness is all。'
  After an early dinner we went out for a walk; but we did not go far
  before we sat down upon the grass。  Falconer laid himself at full
  length and gazed upwards。
  'When I look like this into the blue sky;' he said; after a moment's
  silence; 'it seems so deep; so peaceful; so full of a mysterious
  tenderness; that I could lie for centuries; and wait for the dawning
  of the face of God out of the awful loving…kindness。'
  I had never heard Falconer talk of his own present feelings in this
  manner; but glancing at the face of his father with a sense of his
  unfitness to hear such a lofty utterance; I saw at once that it was
  for his sake that he had thus spoken。  The old man had thrown
  himself back too; and was gazing into the sky; puzzling himself; I
  could see; to comprehend what his son could mean。  I fear he
  concluded; for the time; that Robert was not gifted with the amount
  of common…sense belonging of right to the Falconer family; and that
  much religion had made him a dreamer。  Still; I thought I could see
  a kind of awe pass like a spiritual shadow across his face as he
  gazed into the blue gulfs over him。  No one can detect the first
  beginnings of any life; and those of spiritual emotion must more
  than any lie beyond our ken: there is infinite room for hope。
  Falconer said no more。  We betook ourselves early within doors; and
  he read King Lear to us; expounding the spiritual history of the
  poor old king after a fashion I had never conceivedshowing us how
  the said history was all compressed; as far as human eye could see
  of it; into the few months that elapsed between his abdication and
  his death; how in that short time he had to learn everything that he
  ought to have been learning all his life; and how; because he had
  put it off so long; the lessons that had then to be given him were
  awfully severe。
  I thought what a change it was for the old man to lift his head into
  the air of thought and life; out of the sloughs of misery in which
  he had been wallowing for years。
  CHAPTER XVII。
  IN THE COUNTRY。
  The next morning Falconer; who knew the country; took us out for a
  drive。  We passed through lanes and gates out upon all open moor;
  where he stopped the carriage; and led us a few yards on one side。
  Suddenly; hundreds of feet below us; down what seemed an almost
  precipitous descent; we saw the wood…embosomed; stream…trodden
  valley we had left the day before。  Enough had been cleft and
  scooped seawards out of the lofty table…land to give room for a few
  little conical hills with curious peaks of bare rock。  At the bases
  of these hills flowed noisily two or three streams; which joined in
  one; and trotted out to sea over rocks and stones。  The hills and
  the sides of the great cleft were half of them green with grass; and
  half of them robed in the autumnal foliage of thick woods。  By the
  streams and in the woods nestled pretty houses; and away at the
  mouth of the valley and the stream lay the village。  All around; on
  our level;