第 115 节
作者:套牢      更新:2021-02-20 15:35      字数:9321
  It was a blowing; moon…lit night。  The gaslights flickered and
  wavered in the gusts of wind。  It was cold; very cold for the
  season。  Even Falconer buttoned his coat over his chest。  He got a
  few paces in advance of me sometimes; when I saw him towering black
  and tall and somewhat gaunt; like a walking shadow。  The wind
  increased in violence。  It was a north…easter; laden with dust; and
  a sense of frozen Siberian steppes。  We had to stoop and head it at
  the corners of streets。  Not many people were out; and those who
  were; seemed to be hurrying home。  A few little provision…shops; and
  a few inferior butchers' stalls were still open。  Their great jets
  of gas; which looked as if they must poison the meat; were flaming
  fierce and horizontal; roaring like fiery flags; and anon dying into
  a blue hiss。  Discordant singing; more like the howling of wild
  beasts; came from the corner houses; which blazed like the gates of
  hell。  Their doors were ever on the swing; and the hot odours of
  death rushed out; and the cold blast of life rushed in。  We paused a
  little before one of themover the door; upon the sign; was in very
  deed the name Death。  There were ragged women within who took their
  half…dead babies from their bare; cold; cheerless bosoms; and gave
  them of the poison of which they themselves drank renewed despair in
  the name of comfort。  They say that most of the gin consumed in
  London is drunk by women。  And the little clay…coloured baby…faces
  made a grimace or two; and sank to sleep on the thin tawny breasts
  of the mothers; who having gathered courage from the essence of
  despair; faced the scowling night once more; and with bare necks and
  hopeless hearts wentwhither?  Where do they all go when the
  gin…hells close their yawning jaws?  Where do they lie down at
  night?  They vanish like unlawfully risen corpses in the graves of
  cellars and garrets; in the charnel…vaults of pestiferously…crowded
  lodging…houses; in the prisons of police…stations; under dry arches;
  within hoardings; or they make vain attempts to rest the night out
  upon door…steps or curbstones。  All their life long man denies them
  the one right in the soil which yet is so much theirs; that once
  that life is over; he can no longer deny itthe right of room to
  lie down。  Space itself is not allowed to be theirs by any right of
  existence: the voice of the night…guardian commanding them to move
  on; is as the howling of a death…hound hunting them out of the air
  into their graves。
  In St。 James's we came upon a group around the gates of a great
  house。  Visitors were coming and going; and it was a show to be had
  for nothing by those who had nothing to pay。  Oh! the children with
  clothes too ragged to hold pockets for their chilled hands; that
  stared at the childless duchess descending from her lordly carriage!
  Oh! the wan faces; once lovely as theirs; it may be; that gazed
  meagre and pinched and hungry on the young maidens in rose…colour
  and blue; tripping lightly through the avenue of their eager
  eyesnot yet too envious of unattainable felicity to gaze with
  admiring sympathy on those who seemed to them the angels; the
  goddesses of their kind。 'O God!'  I thought; but dared not speak;
  'and thou couldst make all these girls so lovely!  Thou couldst give
  them all the gracious garments of rose and blue and white if thou
  wouldst!  Why should these not be like those?  They are hungry even;
  and wan and torn。  These too are thy children。  There is wealth
  enough in thy mines and in thy green fields; room enough in thy
  starry spaces; O God!'  But a voicethe echo of Falconer's
  teaching; awoke in my heart'Because I would have these more
  blessed than those; and those more blessed with them; for they are
  all my children。'
  By the Mall we came into Whitehall; and so to Westminster Bridge。
  Falconer had changed his mind; and would cross at once。  The
  present bridge was not then finished; and the old bridge alongside
  of it was still in use for pedestrians。  We went upon it to reach
  the other side。  Its centre rose high above the other; for the line
  of the new bridge ran like a chord across the arc of the old。
  Through chance gaps in the boarding between; we looked down on the
  new portion which was as yet used by carriages alone。  The moon had;
  throughout the evening; alternately shone in brilliance from amidst
  a lake of blue sky; and been overwhelmed in billowy heaps of
  wind…tormented clouds。  As we stood on the apex of the bridge;
  looking at the night; the dark river; and the mass of human effort
  about us; the clouds gathered and closed and tumbled upon her in
  crowded layers。  The wind howled through the arches beneath; swept
  along the boarded fences; and whistled in their holes。  The
  gas…lights blew hither and thither; and were perplexed to live at
  all。
  We were standing at a spot where some shorter pieces had been used
  in the hoarding; and; although I could not see over them; Falconer;
  whose head rose more than half a foot above mine; was looking on the
  other bridge below。  Suddenly he grasped the top with his great
  hands; and his huge frame was over it in an instant。  I was on the
  top of the hoarding the same moment; and saw him prostrate some
  twelve feet below。  He was up the next instant; and running with
  huge paces diagonally towards the Surrey side。  He had seen the
  figure of a woman come flying along from the Westminster side;
  without bonnet or shawl。  When she came under the spot where we
  stood; she had turned across at an obtuse angle towards the other
  side of the bridge; and Falconer; convinced that she meant to throw
  herself into the river; went over as I have related。  She had all
  but scrambled over the fencefor there was no parapet yetby the
  help of the great beam that ran along to support it; when he caught
  her by her garments。  So poor and thin were those garments; that if
  she had not been poor and thin too; she would have dropped from them
  into the darkness below。  He took her in his arms; lifted her down
  upon the bridge; and stood as if protecting her from a pursuing
  death。  I had managed to find an easier mode of descent; and now
  stood a little way from them。
  'Poor girl! poor girl!' he said; as if to himself: 'was this the
  only way left?'
  Then he spoke tenderly to her。  What he said I could not hearI
  only heard the tone。
  'O sir!' she cried; in piteous entreaty; 'do let me go。  Why should
  a wretched creature like me be forced to live?  It's no good to you;
  sir。  Do let me go。'
  'Come here;' he said; drawing her close to the fence。 'Stand up
  again on the beam。  Look down。'
  She obeyed; in a mechanical kind of way。  But as he talked; and she
  kept looking down on the dark mystery beneath; flowing past with
  every now and then a dull vengeful glittercontinuous; forceful;
  slow; he felt her shudder in his still clasping arm。
  'Look;' he said; 'how it crawls alongblack and slimy! how silent
  and yet how fierce!  Is that a nice place to go to down there?
  Would there be any rest there; do you think; tumbled about among
  filth and creeping things; and slugs that feed on the dead; among
  drowned women like yourself drifting by; and murdered men; and
  strangled babies?  Is that the door by which you would like to go
  out of the world?'
  'It's no worse;' she faltered; 'not so bad as what I should leave
  behind。'
  'If this were the only way out of it; I would not keep you from it。
  I would say; 〃Poor thing! there is no help: she must go。〃  But
  there is another way。'
  'There is no other way; sirif you knew all;' she said。
  'Tell me; then。'
  'I cannot。  I dare not。  PleaseI would rather go。'
  She looked; from the mere glimpses I could get of her; somewhere
  about five…and…twenty; making due allowance for the wear of
  suffering so evident even in those glimpses。  I think she might have
  been beautiful if the waste of her history could have been restored。
  That she had had at least some advantages of education; was evident
  from both her tone and her speech。  But oh; the wild eyes; and the
  tortured lips; drawn back from the teeth with an agony of
  hopelessness; as she struggled anew; perhaps mistrusting them; to
  escape from the great arms that held her!
  'But the river cannot drown you;' Falconer said。 'It can only stop
  your breath。  It cannot stop your thinking。  You will go on
  thinking; thinking; all the same。  Drowning people remember in a
  moment all their past lives。  All their evil deeds come up before
  them; as if they were doing them all over again。  So they plunge
  back into the past and all its misery。  While their bodies are
  drowning; their souls are coming more and more awake。'
  'That is dreadful;' she murmured; with her great eyes fixed on his;
  and growing steadier in their regard。  She had ceased to struggle;
  so he had slackened his hold of her; and she was leaning back
  against the fence。
  'And then;' he went on; 'what if;