第 99 节
作者:套牢      更新:2021-02-20 15:34      字数:9322
  his mind nowquiet as the air that ever broods over the house where
  a friend has dwelt。  He left the town behind; and walkedthrough
  the odours of grass and of clover and of the yellow flowers on the
  old earthwalls that divided the fieldssweet scents to which the
  darkness is friendly; and which; mingling with the smell of the
  earth itself; reach the founts of memory sooner than even words or
  tonesdown to the brink of the river that flowed scarcely murmuring
  through the night; itself dark and brown as the night from its
  far…off birthplace in the peaty hills。  He crossed the footbridge
  and turned into the bleachfield。  Its houses were desolate; for that
  trade too had died away。  The machinery stood rotting and rusting。
  The wheel gave no answering motion to the flow of the water that
  glided away beneath it。  The thundering beatles were still。  The
  huge legs of the wauk…mill took no more seven…leagued strides
  nowhither。  The rubbing…boards with their thickly…fluted surfaces no
  longer frothed the soap from every side; tormenting the web of linen
  into a brightness to gladden the heart of the housewife whose hands
  had spun the yarn。  The terrible boiler that used to send up from
  its depths bubbling and boiling spouts and peaks and ridges; lay
  empty and cold。  The little house behind; where its awful furnace
  used to glow; and which the pungent chlorine used to fill with its
  fumes; stood open to the wind and the rain: he could see the slow
  river through its unglazed window beyond。  The water still went
  slipping and sliding through the deserted places; a power whose use
  had departed。  The canal; the delight of his childhood; was nearly
  choked with weeds; it went flowing over long grasses that drooped
  into it from its edges; giving a faint gurgle once and again in its
  flow; as if it feared to speak in the presence of the stars; and
  escaped silently into the river far below。  The grass was no longer
  mown like a lawn; but was long and deep and thick。  He climbed to
  the place where he had once lain and listened to the sounds of the
  belt of fir…trees behind him; hearing the voice of Nature that
  whispered God in his ears; and there he threw himself down once
  more。  All the old things; the old ways; the old glories of
  childhoodwere they gone?  No。 Over them all; in them all; was God
  still。  There is no past with him。  An eternal present; He filled
  his soul and all that his soul had ever filled。  His history was
  taken up into God: it had not vanished: his life was hid with Christ
  in God。 To the God of the human heart nothing that has ever been a
  joy; a grief; a passing interest; can ever cease to be what it has
  been; there is no fading at the breath of time; no passing away of
  fashion; no dimming of old memories in the heart of him whose being
  creates time。  Falconer's heart rose up to him as to his own deeper
  life; his indwelling deepest spiritabove and beyond him as the
  heavens are above and beyond the earth; and yet nearer and homelier
  than his own most familiar thought。 'As the light fills the earth;'
  thought he; 'so God fills what we call life。  My sorrows; O God; my
  hopes; my joys; the upliftings of my life are with thee; my root; my
  life。  Thy comfortings; my perfect God; are strength indeed!'
  He rose and looked around him。  While he lay; the waning; fading
  moon had risen; weak and bleared and dull。  She brightened and
  brightened until at last she lighted up the night with a wan;
  forgetful gleam。 'So should I feel;' he thought; 'about the past on
  which I am now gazing; were it not that I believe in the God who
  forgets nothing。  That which has been; is。'  His eye fell on
  something bright in the field beyond。  He would see what it was; and
  crossed the earthen dyke。  It shone like a little moon in the grass。
  By humouring the reflection he reached it。  It was only a cutting
  of white iron; left by some tinker。  He walked on over the field;
  thinking of Shargar's mother。  If he could but find her!  He walked
  on and on。  He had no inclination to go home。  The solitariness of
  the night; the uncanniness of the moon; prevents most people from
  wandering far: Robert had learned long ago to love the night; and to
  feel at home with every aspect of God's world。  How this peace
  contrasted with the nights in London streets! this grass with the
  dark flow of the Thames! these hills and those clouds half melted
  into moonlight with the lanes blazing with gas!  He thought of the
  child who; taken from London for the first time; sent home the
  message: 'Tell mother that it's dark in the country at night。'  Then
  his thoughts turned again to Shargar's mother!  Was it not possible;
  being a wanderer far and wide; that she might be now in Rothieden?
  Such people have a love for their old haunts; stronger than that of
  orderly members of society for their old homes。  He turned back; and
  did not know where he was。  But the lines of the hill…tops directed
  him。  He hastened to the town; and went straight through the
  sleeping streets to the back wynd where he had found Shargar sitting
  on the doorstep。  Could he believe his eyes?  A feeble light was
  burning in the shed。  Some other poverty…stricken bird of the night;
  however; might be there; and not she who could perhaps guide him to
  the goal of his earthly life。  He drew near; and peeped in at the
  broken window。  A heap of something lay in a corner; watched only by
  a long…snuffed candle。
  The heap moved; and a voice called out querulously;
  'Is that you; Shargar; ye shochlin deevil?'
  Falconer's heart leaped。  He hesitated no longer; but lifted the
  latch and entered。  He took up the candle; snuffed it as he best
  could; and approached the woman。  When the light fell on her face
  she sat up; staring wildly with eyes that shunned and sought it。
  'Wha are ye that winna lat me dee in peace and quaietness?'
  'I'm Robert Falconer。'
  'Come to speir efter yer ne'er…do…weel o' a father; I reckon;' she
  said。
  'Yes;' he answered。
  'Wha's that ahin' ye?'
  'Naebody's ahin' me;' answered Robert。
  'Dinna lee。  Wha's that ahin' the door?'
  'Naebody。  I never tell lees。'
  'Whaur's Shargar?  What for doesna he come till 's mither?'
  'He's hynd awa' ower the seasa captain o' sodgers。'
  'It's a lee。  He's an ill…faured scoonrel no to come till 's mither
  an' bid her gude…bye; an' her gaein' to hell。'
  'Gin ye speir at Christ; he'll tak ye oot o' the verra mou' o' hell;
  wuman。'
  'Christ! wha's that?  Ow; ay!  It's him 'at they preach aboot i' the
  kirks。  Na; na。  There's nae gude o' that。  There's nae time to
  repent noo。  I doobt sic repentance as mine wadna gang for muckle
  wi' the likes o' him。'
  'The likes o' him 's no to be gotten。  He cam to save the likes o'
  you an' me。'
  'The likes o' you an' me! said ye; laddie?  There's no like atween
  you and me。  He'll hae naething to say to me; but gang to hell wi'
  ye for a bitch。'
  'He never said sic a word in 's life。  He wad say; 〃Poor thing! she
  was ill…used。  Ye maunna sin ony mair。  Come; and I'll help ye。〃  He
  wad say something like that。  He'll save a body whan she wadna think
  it。'
  'An' I hae gien my bonnie bairn to the deevil wi' my ain han's!
  She'll come to hell efter me to girn at me; an' set them on me wi'
  their reid het taings; and curse me。  Och hone! och hone!'
  'Hearken to me;' said Falconer; with as much authority as he could
  assume。  But she rolled herself over again in the corner; and lay
  groaning。
  'Tell me whaur she is;' said Falconer; 'and I'll tak her oot o'
  their grup; whaever they be。'
  She sat up again; and stared at him for a few moments without
  speaking。
  'I left her wi' a wuman waur nor mysel';' she said at length。 'God
  forgie me。'
  'He will forgie ye; gin ye tell me whaur she is。'
  'Do ye think he will?  Eh; Maister Faukner!  The wuman bides in a
  coort off o' Clare Market。  I dinna min' upo' the name o' 't; though
  I cud gang till 't wi' my een steekit。  Her name's Widow Walkeran
  auld rowdiedamn her sowl!'
  'Na; na; ye maunna say that gin ye want to be forgien yersel'。  I'll
  fin' her oot。  An' I'm thinkin' it winna be lang or I hae a grup o'
  her。  I'm gaein' back to Lonnon in twa days or three。'
  'Dinna gang till I'm deid。  Bide an' haud the deevil aff o' me。  He
  has a grup o' my hert noo; rivin' at it wi' his lang nailsas lang
  's birds' nebs。'
  'I'll bide wi' ye till we see what can be dune for ye。  What's the
  maitter wi' ye?  I'm a doctor noo。'
  There was not a chair or box or stool on which to sit down。  He
  therefore kneeled beside her。  He felt her pulse; questioned her;
  and learned that she had long been suffering from an internal
  complaint; which had within the last week grown rapidly worse。  He
  saw that there was no hope of her recovery; but while she lived he
  gave himself to her service as to that of a living soul capable of
  justice and love。  The night w