第 90 节
作者:套牢      更新:2021-02-20 15:34      字数:9322
  and began to climb towards a mountain village of which he had heard
  from a traveller; to find solitude and freedom in an air as lofty as
  if he climbed twelve of his beloved cathedral spires piled up in
  continuous ascent。
  After ascending for hours in zigzags through pine woods; where the
  only sound was of the little streams trotting down to the valley
  below; or the distant hush of some thin waterfall; he reached a
  level; and came out of the woods。  The path now led along the edge
  of a precipice descending sheer to the uppermost terrace of the
  valley he had left。  The valley was but a cleft in the mass of the
  mountain: a little way over sank its other wall; steep as a
  plumb…line could have made it; of solid rock。  On his right lay
  green fields of clover and strange grasses。  Ever and anon from the
  cleft steamed up great blinding clouds of mist; which now wandered
  about over the nations of rocks on the mountain side beyond the
  gulf; now wrapt himself in their bewildering folds。  In one moment
  the whole creation had vanished; and there seemed scarce existence
  enough left for more than the following footstep; the next; a mighty
  mountain stood in front; crowned with blinding snow; an awful fact;
  the lovely heavens were over his head; and the green sod under his
  feet; the grasshoppers chirped about him; and the gorgeous
  butterflies flew。  From regions far beyond came the bells of the
  kine and the goats。  He reached a little inn; and there took up his
  quarters。
  I am able to be a little minute in my description; because I have
  since visited the place myself。  Great heights rise around it on all
  sides。  It stands as between heaven and hell; suspended between
  peaks and gulfs。  The wind must roar awfully there in the winter;
  but the mountains stand away with their avalanches; and all the
  summer long keep the cold off the grassy fields。
  The same evening; he was already weary。  The next morning it rained。
  It rained fiercely all day。  He would leave the place on the
  morrow。  In the evening it began to clear up。  He walked out。  The
  sun was setting。  The snow…peaks were faintly tinged with rose; and
  the ragged masses of vapour that hung lazy and leaden…coloured about
  the sides of the abyss; were partially dyed a sulky orange red。
  Then all faded into gray。  But as the sunlight vanished; a veil
  sank from the face of the moon; already half…way to the zenith; and
  she gathered courage and shone; till the mountain looked lovely as a
  ghost in the gleam of its snow and the glimmer of its glaciers。
  'Ah!' thought Falconer; 'such a peace at last is all a man can look
  forthe repose of a spectral Elysium; a world where passion has
  died away; and only the dim ghost of its memory to disturb with a
  shadowy sorrow the helpless content of its undreaming years。  The
  religion that can do but this much is not a very great or very
  divine thing。  The human heart cannot invent a better it may be; but
  it can imagine grander results。
  He did not yet know what the religion was of which he spoke。  As
  well might a man born stone…deaf estimate the power of sweet sounds;
  or he who knows not a square from a circle pronounce upon the study
  of mathematics。
  The next morning rose brilliantan ideal summer day。  He would not
  go yet; he would spend one day more in the place。  He opened his
  valise to get some lighter garments。  His eye fell on a New
  Testament。  Dr。 Anderson had put it there。  He had never opened it
  yet; and now he let it lie。  Its time had not yet come。  He went
  out。
  Walking up the edge of the valley; he came upon a little stream
  whose talk he had heard for some hundred yards。  It flowed through a
  grassy hollow; with steeply sloping sides。  Water is the same all
  the world over; but there was more than water here to bring his
  childhood back to Falconer。  For at the spot where the path led him
  down to the burn; a little crag stood out from the bank;a gray
  stone like many he knew on the stream that watered the valley of
  Rothieden: on the top of the stone grew a little heather; and beside
  it; bending towards the water; was a silver birch。  He sat down on
  the foot of the rock; shut in by the high grassy banks from the gaze
  of the awful mountains。  The sole unrest was the run of the water
  beside him; and it sounded so homely; that he began to jabber Scotch
  to it。  He forgot that this stream was born in the clouds; far up
  where that peak rose into the air behind him; he did not know that a
  couple of hundred yards from where he sat; it tumbled headlong into
  the valley below: with his country's birch…tree beside him; and the
  rock crowned with its tuft of heather over his head; the quiet as of
  a Sabbath afternoon fell upon himthat quiet which is the one
  altogether lovely thing in the Scotch Sabbathand once more the
  words arose in his mind; 'My peace I give unto you。'
  Now he fell a…thinking what this peace could be。  And it came into
  his mind as he thought; that Jesus had spoken in another place about
  giving rest to those that came to him; while here he spoke about 'my
  peace。'  Could this my mean a certain kind of peace that the Lord
  himself possessed?  Perhaps it was in virtue of that peace; whatever
  it was; that he was the Prince of Peace。  Whatever peace he had must
  be the highest and best peacetherefore the one peace for a man to
  seek; if indeed; as the words of the Lord seemed to imply; a man was
  capable of possessing it。  He remembered the New Testament in his
  box; and; resolving to try whether he could not make something more
  out of it; went back to the inn quieter in heart than since he left
  his home。  In the evening he returned to the brook; and fell to
  searching the story; seeking after the peace of Jesus。
  He found that the whole passage stood thus:
  'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you: not as the world
  giveth give I unto you。  Let not your heart be troubled; neither let
  it be afraid。'
  He did not leave the place for six weeks。  Every day he went to the
  burn; as he called it; with his New Testament; every day tried yet
  again to make out something more of what the Saviour meant。  By the
  end of the month it had dawned upon him; he hardly knew how; that
  the peace of Jesus (although; of course; he could not know what it
  was like till he had it) must have been a peace that came from the
  doing of the will of his Father。  From the account he gave of the
  discoveries he then made; I venture to represent them in the driest
  and most exact form that I can find they will admit of。  When I use
  the word discoveries; I need hardly say that I use it with reference
  to Falconer and his previous knowledge。  They were these:that
  Jesus taught
  First;That a man's business is to do the will of God:
  Second;That God takes upon himself the care of the man:
  Third;Therefore; that a man must never be afraid of anything;
  and so;
  Fourth;be left free to love God with all his heart; and his
  neighbour as himself。
  But one day; his thoughts having cleared themselves a little upon
  these points; a new set of questions arose with sudden
  inundationcomprised in these two:
  'How can I tell for certain that there ever was such a man?  How am
  I to be sure that such as he says is the mind of the maker of these
  glaciers and butterflies?'
  All this time he was in the wilderness as much as Moses at the back
  of Horeb; or St。 Paul when he vanishes in Arabia: and he did nothing
  but read the four gospels and ponder over them。  Therefore it is not
  surprising that he should have already become so familiar with the
  gospel story; that the moment these questions appeared; the
  following words should dart to the forefront of his consciousness to
  meet them:
  'If any man will do his will; he shall know of the doctrine; whether
  it be of God; or whether I speak of myself。'
  Here was a word of Jesus himself; announcing the one means of
  arriving at a conviction of the truth or falsehood of all that he
  said; namely; the doing of the will of God by the man who would
  arrive at such conviction。
  The next question naturally was: What is this will of God of which
  Jesus speaks?  Here he found himself in difficulty。  The theology of
  his grandmother rushed in upon him; threatening to overwhelm him
  with demands as to feeling and inward action from which his soul
  turned with sickness and fainting。  That they were repulsive to him;
  that they appeared unreal; and contradictory to the nature around
  him; was no proof that they were not of God。 But on the other hand;
  that they demanded what seemed to him unjust;that these demands
  were founded on what seemed to him untruth attributed to God; on
  ways of thinking and feeling which are certainly degrading in a
  man;these were reasons of the very highest nature for refusing to
  act upon them so long as; from whatever defects it might be in
  himself; they bore to him this aspect。  He saw that while they
  appe