eave　Christ　　and　His　saints　alone。
  215。　　This　scripture　also　did　now　most　sweetly　visit　my　soul；　AND　　HIM　THAT　COMETH　TO　ME；　I　WILL　IN　NO　WISE　CAST　OUT。　　Oh！　the　comfort　　that　I　had　from　this　word；　IN　NO　WISE！　　As　who　should　say；　BY　NO　　MEANS；　FOR　NOTHING　WHATEVER　HE　HATH　DONE。　　But　Satan　would　greatly　　labour　to　pull　this　promise　from　me；　telling　of　me；　THAT　CHRIST　DID　　NOT　MEAN　ME　AND　SUCH　AS　I；　BUT　SINNERS　OF　A　LOWER　RANK；　THAT　HAD　　NOT　DONE　AS　I　HAD　DONE。　　But　I　would　answer　him　again；　SATAN；　HERE　　IS　IN　THESE　WORDS　NO　SUCH　EXCEPTION；　BUT　HIM　THAT　COMES；　HIM；　ANY　　HIM：　　HIM　THAT　COMETH　TO　ME　I　WILL　IN　NO　WISE　CAST　OUT。　　And　this　I　　well　remember　still；　that　of　all　the　slights　that　Satan　used　to　　take　this　scripture　from　me；　yet　he　never　did　so　much　as　put　this　　question；　BUT　DO　YOU　COME　ARIGHT？　　And　I　have　thought　the　reason　　was；　because　he　thought　I　knew　full　well　what　coming　aright　was；　　for　I　saw　that　to　come　aright；　was　to　come　as　I　was；　a　vile　and　　ungodly　sinner；　and　to　cast　myself　at　the　feet　of　mercy；　condemning　　myself　for　sin。　　If　ever　Satan　and　I　did　strive　for　any　word　of　God　　in　all　my　life；　it　was　for　this　good　word　of　Christ；　he　at　one　end；　　and　I　at　the　other：　　Oh！　what　work　did　we　make！　　It　was　for　this　in　　JOHN；　I　say；　that　we　did　so　tug　and　strive；　he　pulled；　and　I　　pulled；　but　God　be　praised；　I　got　the　better　of　him；　I　got　some　　sweetness　from　it。
  216。　　But　notwithstanding　all　these　helps；　and　blessed　words　of　　grace；　yet　that　of　ESAU'S　selling　of　his　birthright；　would　still　at　　times　distress　my　conscience：　　for　though　I　had　been　most　sweetly　　comforted；　and　that　but　just　before；　yet　when　that　came　into　my　　mind；　'twould　make　me　fear　again：　　I　could　not　be　quite　rid　　thereof；　'twould　every　day　be　with　me：　　wherefore　now　I　went　　another　way　to　work；　even　to　consider　the　nature　of　this　　blasphemous　thought；　I　mean；　if　I　should　take　the　words　at　the　　largest；　and　give　them　their　own　natural　force　and　scope；　even　　every　word　therein：　　so　when　I　had　thus　considered；　I　found；　that　　if　they　were　fairly　taken；　they　would　amount　to　this；　THAT　I　HAD　　FREELY　LEFT　THE　LORD　JESUS　CHRIST　TO　HIS　CHOICE；　WHETHER　HE　WOULD　　BE　MY　SAVIOUR　OR　NO；　for　the　wicked　words　were　these；　LET　HIM　GO；　　IF　HE　WILL。　　Then　that　scripture　gave　me　hope；　I　WILL　NEVER　LEAVE　　THEE；　NOR　FORSAKE　THEE。　　Heb。　xiii。　5。　　'O　Lord；'　said　I；　BUT　I　　HAVE　LEFT　THEE。　　Then　it　answered　again；　BUT　I　WILL　NOT　LEAVE　THEE。　　　For　this　I　thanked　God　also。
  217。　　Yet　I　was　grievous　afraid　He　should；　and　found　it　exceeding　　hard　to　trust　Him；　seeing　I　had　so　offended　Him：　　I　could　have　been　　exceeding　glad　that　this　thought　had　never　befallen；　for　then　I　　thought　I　could　with　more　ease　and　freedom　in　abundance；　have　　leaned　on　His　grace。　　I　saw　it　was　with　me；　as　it　was　with　JOSEPH'S　　brethren；　the　guilt　of　their　own　wickedness　did　often　fill　them　　with　fears　that　their　brother　would　at　last　despise　them。　　Gen。　l。　　15；　16；　etc。
  218。　　Yet　above　all　the　scriptures　that　I　yet　did　meet　with　that　in　　JOSHUA　xx。　was　the　greatest　comfort　to　me；　which　speaks　of　the　　slayer　that　was　to　flee　for　refuge：　　AND　IF　THE　AVENGER　OF　BLOOD　　PURSUE　THE　SLAYER；　then　saith　MOSES；　THEY　THAT　ARE　THE　ELDERS　OF　　THE　CITY　OF　REFUGE　SHALL　NOT　DELIVER　HIM　INTO　HIS　HANDS；　BECAUSE　HE　　SMOTE　HIS　NEIGHBOUR　UNWITTINGLY　AND　HATED　HIM　NOT　AFORETIME。　　Oh！　　blessed　be　God　for　this　word：　　I　was　convinced　that　I　was　the　　slayer；　and　that　the　avenger　of　blood　pursued　me；　I　felt　with　great　　terror；　only　now　it　remained　that　I　inquire　whether　I　have　right　to　　enter　the　city　of　refuge：　　so　I　found；　that　he　must　not；　WHO　LAY　IN　　WAIT　TO　SHED　BLOOD：　　It　was　not　the　wilful　MURDERER；　but　he　who　　UNWITTINGLY　did　it；　he　who　did　it　unawares；　not　out　of　spite；　or　　grudge；　or　malice；　he　that　shed　it　unwittingly：　　even　he　who　did　　not　HATE　HIS　NEIGHBOUR　BEFORE。　　Wherefore；
  219。　　I　thought　verily　I　was　the　man　that　must　enter；　because　I　had　　smitten　my　neighbour　UNWITTINGLY；　AND　HATED　HIM　NOT　AFORETIME。　　I　　hated　Him　not　aforetime；　no；　I　prayed　unto　Him；　was　tender　of　　sinning　against　Him；　yea；　and　against　this　wicked　temptation　I　had　　strove　for　a　twelvemonth　before；　yea；　and　also　when　it　did　pass　　through　my　heart；　it　did　in　spite　of　my　teeth：　　wherefore　I　thought　　I　had　a　right　to　enter　this　city；　and　the　elders；　which　are　the　　APOSTLES；　were　not　to　deliver　me　up。　　This　therefore　was　great　　comfort　to　me；　and　gave　me　much　ground　of　hope。
  220。　　Yet　being　very　critical；　for　my　smart　had　made　me　that　I　knew　　not　what　ground　was　sure　enough　to　bear　me；　I　had　one　question　that　　my　soul　did　much　desire　to　be　resolved　about；　and　that　was；　WHETHER　　IT　BE　POSSIBLE　FOR　ANY　SOUL　THAT　HATH　SINNED　THE　UNPARDONABLE　SIN；　　YET　AFTER　THAT　TO　RECEIVE；　THOUGH　BUT　THE　LEAST；　TRUE　SPIRITUAL　　COMFORT　FROM　GOD　THOUGH　CHRIST？　　The　which　after　I　had　much　　considered；　I　found　the　answer　was；　No；　they　could　not；　and　that　　for　these　reasons：…
  221。　　FIRST；　Because　those　that　have　sinned　that　sin；　they　are　　debarred　a　share　in　the　blood　of　Christ；　and　being　shut　out　of　　that；　they　must　needs　be　void　of　the　least　ground　of　hope；　and　so　　of　spiritual　comfort；　FOR　TO　SUCH　THERE　REMAINS　NO　MORE　SACRIFICE　　FOR　SIN。　　Heb。　x。　26；　27。　　SECONDLY；　Because　they　are　denied　a　　share　in　the　promise　of　life：　　IT　SHALL　NEVER　BE　FORGIVEN　HIM　　NEITHER　IN　THIS　WORLD；　NEITHER　IN　THE　WORLD　TO　COME。　　Matt。　xii。　　32。　　THIRDLY；　The　Son　of　God　excludes　them　also　from　a　share　in　His　　blessed　intercession；　being　for　ever　ashamed　to　own　them；　both　　before　His　holy　Father；　and　the　blessed　angels　in　heaven。　　Mark　　viii。
  222。　　When　I　had　with　much　deliberation　considered　of　this　matter；　　and　could　not　but　conclude　that　the　Lord　had　comforted　me；　and　that　　too　after　this　my　wicked　sin：　　then　methought　I　durst　venture　to　　come　nigh　unto　those　most　fearful　and　terrible　scriptures；　with　　which　all　this　while　I　had　been　so　greatly　affrighted；　and　on　which　　indeed；　before　I　durst　scarce　cast　mine　eye　（yea；　had　much　ado　an　　hundred　times；　to　forbear　wishing　them　out　of　the　Bible）；　for　I　　thought　they　would　destroy　me；　but　now；　I　say；　I　began　to　take　some　　measure　of　encouragement；　to　come　close　to　them　to　read　them；　and　　consider　them；　and　to　weigh　their　scope　and　tendency。
  223。　　The　which　when　I　began　to　do；　I　found　their　visage　changed：　　　for　they　looked　not　so　grimly；　as　before　I　thought　they　did：　　and　　first　I　came　to　the　sixth　of　the　HEBREWS；　yet　trembling　for　fear　it　　should　strike　me；　which　when　I　had　considered；　I　found　that　the　　falling　there　intended；　was　a　falling　QUITE　AWAY；　that　is　as　I　　conceived；　a　falling　from　and　absolute　denying　of　the　gospel；　of　　remission　of　sins　by　Jesus　Christ；　for；　from　them　the　apostle　　begins　his　argument；　verses　1；　2；　3；　4。　　SECONDLY；　I　found　that　　this　falling　away；　must　be　openly；　even　in　the　view　of　the　world；　　even　so　as　TO　PUT　CHRIST　TO　AN　OPEN　SHAME。　　THIRDLY；　I　found　those　　he　there　intended；　were　for　ever　shut　up　of　God；　both　in　blindness；　　hardness；　and　impenitency：　　IT　IS　IMPOSSIBLE　THEY　SHOULD　BE　RENEWED　　AGAIN　UNTO　REPENTANCE。　　By　all　these　particulars；　I　found　to　God's　　everlasting　praise；　my　sin　was　not　the　sin　in　this　place　intended。
  FIRST；　I　confessed　I　was　fallen；　but　not　fallen　away；　that　is；　from　　the　profession　of　faith　in　Jesus　unto　eternal　life。
  SECONDLY；　I　confessed　that　I　had　put　Jesus　Christ　to　SHAME　by　my　　sin；　but　not　to　open　SHAME；　I　did　not　deny　Him　before　men；　nor　　condemn　Him　as　a　fruitless　One　before　the　world。
  THIRDLY；　Nor　did　I　find　that　God　had　shut　me　up；　or　denied　me　to　　come　（though　I　found　it　hard　work　indeed　to　come）　to　Him　by　sorrow　　and　repentance：　　blessed　be　God　for　unsearchable　grace！
  224。　　Then　I　considered　that　in　the　10th　chapter　of　the　HEBREWS；　　and　found　that　the　WILFUL　SIN　there　mentioned；　is　not　every　wilful　　sin；　but　that　which　doth　throw　off　Christ；　and　then　His　　commandments　too。　　SECONDLY；　That　must　be　done　also　openly；　before　　two　or　three　witnesses；　to　answer　that　of　the　law；　VERSE　28。　　　THIRDLY；　This　sin　cannot　be　committed；　but　with　great　despite　done　　to　the　Spirit　of　Grace；　despising　both　the　dissuasions　from　that　　sin；　and　the　persuasions　to　the　contrary。　　But　the　Lord　knows；　　though　this　my　sin　was　devilish；　yet　it　did　not　amount　to　these。
  225。　　And　as　touching　that　in　the　12th　of　the　HEBREWS；　about　ESAU'S　　selling　of　his　birthright；　though　this　was　that　which　killed　me；　　and　stood　like　a　spear　against　me；　yet　now　I　did　consider；　FIRST；　　that　his　was　not　a　hasty　thought　against　the　continual　labour　of　　his　mind；　but　a　thought　consented　to；　and　put　in　practice　likewise；　　and　that　after　some　deliberation；　Gen。　xxv。　　SECONDLY；　It　was　a　　public　and　open　action；　even　before　his　brother；　if　not　before　many　　more；　this　made　his　sin　of　a　far　more　heinous　nature　than　otherwise　　it　would　have　been。　　THIRDLY；　He　continued　to　slight　his　　birthright：　　HE　DID　EAT　AND　DRINK；　AND　WENT　HIS　WAY：　　thus　Esau　　DESPISED　HIS　BIRTHRIGHT；　yea；　twenty　years　after　he　was　found　to　　despise　it　still。　　And　Esau　said；　I　HAVE　ENOUGH；　MY　BROTHER；　KEEP　　THAT　THOU　HAST　UNTO　THYSELF。　　Gen。　xxxiii。　9。
  226。　　Now　as　touching　this；　THAT　Esau　SOUGHT　A　PLACE　OF　REPENTANCE；　　thus　I　thought：　　FIRST；　This　was　not　for　the　BIRTHRIGHT；　but　THE　　BLESSING：　　this　is　clear　from　the　apostle；