第 12 节
作者:击水三千      更新:2021-02-20 15:20      字数:9322
  〃Oh; no;〃 replied she。  〃One can always die。〃
  Again he laughed。  〃But why die?  Why not be sensible and live?〃
  〃I don't know;〃 replied she。  She was looking away dreamily; and her eyes were wonderful to see。  〃There are many things I feel and doand I don't at all understand why。  But〃  An expression of startling resolu… tion flashed across her face。  〃But I do them; just the same。〃
  A brief silence; then; as she again moved toward the door; he said; 〃You have been working for some time?〃
  〃Four years。〃
  〃You support yourself?〃
  〃I work to help out father's income。  He makes almost enough; but not quite。〃
  Almost enough!  The phrase struck upon Norman's fancy as both amusing and sad。  Almost enough for what?  For keeping body and soul together; for keeping body barely decently clad。  Yet she was content。 He said:
  〃You like to work?〃
  〃Not yet。  But I think I shall when I learn this business。  One feels secure when one has a trade。〃
  〃It doesn't impress me as an interesting life for a girl of your age;〃 he suggested。
  〃Oh; I'm not unhappy。  And at home; of evenings and Sundays; I'm happy。〃
  〃Doing what?〃
  〃Reading and talking with father anddoing the houseworkand all the rest of it。〃
  What a monotonous narrow little life!  He wanted to pity her; but somehow he could not。  There was no suggestion in her manner that she was an object of pity。  〃What did Miss Burroughs say to youif I may ask?〃
  〃Certainly。  You sent me; and I'm much obliged to you。  I realize it was an opportunityfor another sort of girl。  I half tried to accept because I knew refusing was only myqueerness。〃  She smiled charmingly。 〃You are not offended because I couldn't make myself take it?〃
  〃Not in the least。〃  And all at once he felt that it was true。  This girl would have been out of place in service。  〃What was the offer?〃
  Suddenly before him there appeared a clever; willful child; full of the childish passion for imitation and mockery。  And she proceeded to 〃take off〃 the grand Miss Burroughsenough like Josephine to give the satire point and barb。  He could see Josephine resolved to be affable and equal; to make this doubtless bedazzled stray from the 〃lower classes〃 feel comfortable in those palatial surroundings。  She imitated Josephine's walk; her way of looking; her voice for the menialsgracious and condescending。  The exhibition was clever; free from malice; redolent of humor。  Norman laughed until the tears rolled down his cheeks。
  〃You ought to go on the stage;〃 said he。  〃How JosephineMiss Burroughs would appreciate it!  For she's got a keen sense of humor。〃
  〃Not for the real jokeslike herself;〃 replied Miss Hallowell。
  〃You're prejudiced。〃
  〃No。  I see her as she is。  Probably everyone else those around hersee her money and her clothes and all that。  But I sawjust her。〃
  He nodded thoughtfully。  Then he looked penetratingly at her。  〃How did you happen to learn to do that?〃 he asked。  〃To see people as they are?〃
  〃Father taught me。〃  Her eyes lighted up; her whole expression changed。  She became beautiful with the beauty of an intense and adoring love。  〃Father is a wonderful manone of the most wonderful that ever lived。  He〃
  There was a knock at the door。  She startled; he looked confused。  Both awakened to a sense of their forgotten surroundings; of who and what they were。  She went and Mr。 Sanders entered。  But even in his confusion Norman marveled at the vanishing of the fascinating personality who had been captivating him into forgetting everything else; at the reappearance of the blank; the pale and insignificant personality attached to a typewriting machine at ten dollars a week。  No; not insignificant; not blanknever again that; for him。 He saw now the full realityand also why he; everyone; was so misled。  She made him think of the surface of the sea when the sky is gray and the air calm。  It lies smooth and flat and expressionlessinert; monotonous。 But let sunbeam strike or breeze ever so faint start up; and what a commotion of unending variety!  He could never look at her again without being reminded of those infinite latent possibilities; without wondering what new and perhaps more charming; more surprising varieties of look and tone and manner could be evoked。
  And while Sanders was talkingprosing on and on about things Norman either already knew or did not wish to knowhe was thinking of her。  〃If she happens to meet a man with enough discernment to fall in love with her;〃 he said to himself; 〃he certainly will never weary。  What a pity that such a girl shouldn't have had a chance; should be wasted on some unappreciative chucklehead of her class!  What a pity she hasn't ambitionor the quality; whatever it isthat makes those who have it get on; whether they wish or no。〃
  During the rest of the day he revolved from time to time indistinct ideas of somehow giving this girl a chance。  He wished Josephine would and could help; or perhaps his sister Ursula。  It was not a matter that could be settled; or even taken up; in haste。  No man of his mentality and experience fails to learn how perilous it is in the least to interfere in the destiny of anyone。 And his notion involved not slight interference with advice or suggestion or momentarily extended helping hand; but radical change of the whole current of destiny。 Also; he appreciated how difficult it is for a man to do anything for a young womananything that would not harm more than it would help。  Only one thing seemed clear to himthe 〃clever child〃 ought to have a chance。
  He went to see Josephine after dinner that night His own house; while richly and showily furnished; as became his means and station; seemedand indeed was merely an example of simple; old…fashioned 〃solid comfort〃 in comparison with the Burroughs palace。 He had never liked; but; being a true New Yorker; had greatly admired the splendor of that palace; its costly art junk; its rotten old tapestries; its unlovely genuine antiques; its room after room of tasteless magnificence; suggesting a museum; or rather the combination home and salesroom of an art dealer。  This evening he found himself curious; critical; disposed to license a long… suppressed sense of humor。  While he was waiting for Josephine to come down to the small salon into which he had been shown; her older sister drifted in; on the way to a late dinner and ball。  She eyed him admiringly from head to foot。
  〃You've SUCH an air; Fred;〃 said she。  〃You should hear the butler on the subject of you。  He says that of all the men who come to the house you are most the man of the world。  He says he could tell it by the way you walk in and take off your hat and coat and throw them at him。〃
  Norman laughed and said; 〃I didn't know。  I must stop that。〃
  〃Don't!〃 cried Mrs。 Bellowes。  〃You'll break his heart。  He adores it。  You know; servants dearly love to be treated as servants。  Anyone who thinks the world loves equality knows very little about human nature。 Most people love to look up; just as most women love to be ruled。  No; you must continue to be the master; the man of the world; Fred。〃
  She was busy with her gorgeous and trailing wraps and with her cigarette or she would have seen his confusion。  He was recalling his scene with the typewriter girl。  Not much of the man of the world; then and there; certainly。  What a grotesque performance for a man of his position; for a serious man of any kind!  And how came he to permit such a person to mimic Josephine Burroughs; a lady; the woman to whom he was engaged? In these proud and pretentious surroundings he felt contemptibly guiltyand dazed wonder at his own inexplicable folly and weakness。
  Mrs。 Bellowes departed before Josephine came down。 So there was no relief for his embarrassment。  He saw that she too felt constrained。  Instead of meeting him half way in embrace and kiss; as she usually did; she threw him a kiss and pretended to be busy lighting a cigarette and arranging the shades of the table lamp。 〃Well; I saw your ‘poor little creature;' 〃 she began。 She was splendidly direct in all her dealings; after the manner of people who have never had to make their own wayto cajole or conciliate or dread the consequences of frankness。
  〃I told you you'd not find her interesting。〃
  〃Oh; she was a nice little girl;〃 replied Josephine with elaborate graciousnessand Norman; the 〃take off〃 fresh in his mind; was acutely critical of her manner; of her mannerisms。  〃Of course;〃 she went on; 〃one does not expect much of people of that class。  But I thought her unusually well…manneredand quite clean。〃
  〃Tetlow makes 'em clean up;〃 said Norman; a gleam of sarcasm in his careless glance and tone。  And into his nostrils stole an odor of freshness and health and youth; the pure; sweet odor that is the base of all the natural perfumes。  It startled him; his vivid memory of a feature of her which he had not been until now aware that he had ever noted。
  〃I offered her some work;〃 continued Josephine; 〃but I guess you keep her too busy down there for her to do anything else。〃
  〃Probably;〃 said Norman。  〃Why do you sit on the other side of the room?〃
  〃Oh; I don't know;〃 laughed Josephine。  〃I feel queer to…night。  And it seems to me you're queer; too。〃
  〃I?  Per