第 34 节
作者:点绛唇      更新:2021-02-19 16:49      字数:9322
  deliberation。  It contained a manuscript and a letter of four
  closely written pages。  She glanced at the manuscript with bright
  approving eyes; ran her fingers through its leaves and then laid it
  carefully and somewhat ostentatiously on the table beside her。
  Then; still holding the letter in her hand; she rose and glanced
  out of the window at her bored brother lounging towards the beach
  and at the heaving billows beyond; and returned to her seat。  This
  apparently important preliminary concluded; she began to read。
  There were; as already stated; four blessed pages of it!  All
  vital; earnest; palpitating with youthful energy; preposterous in
  premises; precipitate in conclusions;yet irresistible and
  convincing to every woman in their illogical sincerity。  There was
  not a word of love in it; yet every page breathed a wholesome
  adoration; there was not an epithet or expression that a greater
  prude than Mrs。 Ashwood would have objected to; yet every sentence
  seemed to end in a caress。  There was not a line of poetry in it;
  and scarcely a figure or simile; and yet it was poetical。  Boyishly
  egotistic as it was in attitude; it seemed to be written less OF
  himself than TO her; in its delicate because unconscious flattery;
  it made her at once the provocation and excuse。  And yet so potent
  was its individuality that it required no signature。  No one but
  John Milton Harcourt could have written it。  His personality stood
  out of it so strongly that once or twice Mrs。 Ashwood almost
  unconsciously put up her little hand before her face with a half
  mischievous; half…deprecating smile; as if the big honest eyes of
  its writer were upon her。
  It began by an elaborate apology for declining the appointment
  offered him by one of her friends; which he was bold enough to
  think had been prompted by her kind heart。  That was like her; but
  yet what she might do to any one; and he preferred to think of her
  as the sweet and gentle lady who had recognized his merit without
  knowing him; rather than the powerful and gracious benefactress who
  wanted to reward him when she did know him。  The crown that she had
  all unconsciously placed upon his head that afternoon at the little
  hotel at Crystal Spring was more to him than the Senator's
  appointment; perhaps he was selfish; but he could not bear that she
  who had given so much should believe that he could accept a lesser
  gift。  All this and much more!  Some of it he had wanted to say to
  her in San Francisco at times when they had met; but he could not
  find the words。  But she had given him the courage to go on and do
  the only thing he was fit for; and he had resolved to stick to
  that; and perhaps do something once more that might make him hear
  again her voice as he had heard it that day; and again see the
  light that had shone in her eyes as she sat there and read。  And
  this was why he was sending her a manuscript。  She might have
  forgotten that she had told him a strange story of her cousin who
  had disappearedwhich she thought he might at some time work up。
  Here it was。  Perhaps she might not recognize it again; in the way
  he had written it here; perhaps she did not really mean it when she
  had given him permission to use it; but he remembered her truthful
  eyes and believed herand in any event it was hers to do with what
  she liked。  It had been a great pleasure for him to write it and
  think that she would see it; it was like seeing her himselfthat
  was in HIS BETTER SELFmore worthy the companionship of a
  beautiful and noble woman than the poor young man she would have
  helped。  This was why he had not called the week before she went
  away。  But for all that; she had made his life less lonely; and he
  should be ever grateful to her。  He could never forget how she
  unconsciously sympathized with him that day over the loss that had
  blighted his life forever;yet even then he did not know that she;
  herself; had passed through the same suffering。  But just here the
  stricken widow of thirty; after a vain attempt to keep up the
  knitted gravity of her eyebrows; bowed her dimpling face over the
  letter of the blighted widower of twenty; and laughed so long and
  silently that the tears stood out like dew on her light…brown
  eyelashes。
  But she became presently severe again; and finished her reading of
  the letter gravely。  Then she folded it carefully; deposited it in
  a box on her table; which she locked。  After a few minutes;
  however; she unlocked the box again and transferred the letter to
  her pocket。  The serenity of her features did not relax again;
  although her previous pretty prepossession of youthful spirit was
  still indicated in her movements。  Going into her bedroom; she
  reappeared in a few minutes with a light cloak thrown over her
  shoulders and a white…trimmed broad…brimmed hat。  Then she rolled
  up the manuscript in a paper; and called her French maid。  As she
  stood there awaiting her with the roll in her hand; she might have
  been some young girl on her way to her music lesson。
  〃If my brother returns before I do; tell him to wait。〃
  〃Madame is going〃
  〃Out;〃 said Mrs。 Ashwood blithely; and tripped downstairs。
  She made her way directly to the shore where she remembered there
  was a group of rocks affording a shelter from the northwest trade
  winds。  It was reached at low water by a narrow ridge of sand; and
  here she had often basked in the sun with her book。  It was here
  that she now unrolled John Milton's manuscript and read。
  It was the story she had told him; but interpreted by his poetry
  and adorned by his fancy until the facts as she remembered them
  seemed to be no longer hers; or indeed truths at all。  She had
  always believed her cousin's unhappy temperament to have been the
  result of a moral and physical idiosyncrasy;she found it here to
  be the effect of a lifelong and hopeless passion for herself!  The
  ingenious John Milton had given a poet's precocity to the youth
  whom she had only known as a suspicious; moody boy; had idealized
  him as a sensitive but songless Byron; had given him the added
  infirmity of pulmonary weakness; and a handkerchief that in moments
  of great excitement; after having been hurriedly pressed to his
  pale lips; was withdrawn 〃with a crimson stain。〃  Opposed to this
  interesting figurethe more striking to her as she had been
  hitherto haunted by the impression that her cousin during his
  boyhood had been subject to facial eruption and boilswas her own
  equally idealized self。  Cruelly kind to her cousin and gentle with
  his weaknesses while calmly ignoring their cause; leading him
  unconsciously step by step in his fatal passion; he only became
  aware by accident that she nourished an ideal hero in the person of
  a hard; proud; middle…aged practical man of the world;her future
  husband!  At this picture of the late Mr。 Ashwood; who had really
  been an indistinctive social bon vivant; his amiable relict grew
  somewhat hysterical。  The discovery of her real feelings drove the
  consumptive cousin into a secret; self…imposed exile on the shores
  of the Pacific; where he hoped to find a grave。  But the complete
  and sudden change of life and scene; the balm of the wild woods and
  the wholesome barbarism of nature; wrought a magical change in his
  physical health and a philosophical rest in his mind。  He married
  the daughter of an Indian chief。  Years passed; the heroinea rich
  and still young and beautiful widowunwittingly sought the same
  medicinal solitude。  Here in the depth of the forest she encountered
  her former playmate; the passion which he had fondly supposed was
  dead revived in her presence; and for the first time she learned
  from his bearded lips the secret of his passion。  Alas! not SHE
  alone!  The contiguous forest could not be bolted out; and the
  Indian wife heard all。  Recognizing the situation with aboriginal
  directness of purpose; she committed suicide in the fond belief that
  it would reunite the survivors。  But in vain; the cousins parted on
  the spot to meet no more。
  Even Mrs。 Ashwood's predilection for the youthful writer could not
  overlook the fact that the denouement was by no means novel nor the
  situation human; but yet it was here that she was most interested
  and fascinated。  The description of the forest was a description
  of the wood where she had first met Harcourt; the charm of it
  returned; until she almost seemed to again inhale its balsamic
  freshness in the pages before her。  Now; as then; her youth came
  back with the same longing and regret。  But more bewildering than
  all; it was herself that moved there; painted with the loving hand
  of the narrator。  For the first time she experienced the delicious
  flattery of seeing herself as only a lover could see her。  The
  smallest detail of her costume was suggested with an accuracy that
  pleasantly thrilled her feminine sense。  The grace of her figure
  slowly moving through the shadow; the curves of her arm and the
  delicacy of