第 43 节
作者:想聊      更新:2021-02-19 01:11      字数:9322
  impulse; but solemnly; with tenderness。 Was she willing to make the
  sacrifice; or did she merely come; as I did once; to the verge of the
  precipice? If love were leading her to give herself could she have
  worn that calm; that holy look; would she have asked; in that pure
  voice of hers; 〃You are not angry with me; are you?〃
  I left that evening; she wished to accompany me on the road to
  Frapesle; and we stopped under my walnut…tree。 I showed it to her; and
  told her how I had first seen her four years earlier from that spot。
  〃The valley was so beautiful then!〃 I cried。
  〃And now?〃 she said quickly。
  〃You are beneath my tree; and the valley is ours!〃
  She bowed her head and that was our farewell; she got into her
  carriage with Madeleine; and I into mine alone。
  On my return to Paris I was absorbed in pressing business which took
  all my time and kept me out of society; which for a while forgot me。 I
  corresponded with Madame de Mortsauf; and sent her my journal once a
  week。 She answered twice a month。 It was a life of solitude yet
  teeming; like those sequestered spots; blooming unknown; which I had
  sometimes found in the depths of woods when gathering the flowers for
  my poems。
  Oh; you who love! take these obligations on you; accept these daily
  duties; like those the Church imposes upon Christians。 The rigorous
  observances of the Roman faith contain a great idea; they plough the
  furrow of duty in the soul by the daily repetition of acts which keep
  alive the sense of hope and fear。 Sentiments flow clearer in furrowed
  channels which purify their stream; they refresh the heart; they
  fertilize the life from the abundant treasures of a hidden faith; the
  source divine in which the single thought of a single love is
  multiplied indefinitely。
  My love; an echo of the Middle Ages and of chivalry; was known; I know
  not how; possibly the king and the Duc de Lenoncourt had spoken of it。
  From that upper sphere the romantic yet simple story of a young man
  piously adoring a beautiful woman remote from the world; noble in her
  solitude; faithful without support to duty; spread; no doubt quickly;
  through the faubourg St。 Germain。 In the salons I was the object of
  embarrassing notice; for retired life has advantages which if once
  experienced make the burden of a constant social intercourse
  insupportable。 Certain minds are painfully affected by violent
  contrasts; just as eyes accustomed to soft colors are hurt by glaring
  light。 This was my condition then; you may be surprised at it now; but
  have patience; the inconsistencies of the Vandenesse of to…day will be
  explained to you。
  I found society courteous and women most kind。 After the marriage of
  the Duc de Berry the court resumed its former splendor and the glory
  of the French fetes revived。 The Allied occupation was over;
  prosperity reappeared; enjoyments were again possible。 Noted
  personages; illustrious by rank; prominent by fortune; came from all
  parts of Europe to the capital of the intellect; where the merits and
  the vices of other countries were found magnified and whetted by the
  charms of French intellect。
  Five months after leaving Clochegourde my good angel wrote me; in the
  middle of the winter; a despairing letter; telling me of the serious
  illness of her son。 He was then out of danger; but there were many
  fears for the future; the doctor said that precautions were necessary
  for his lungsthe suggestion of a terrible idea which had put the
  mother's heart in mourning。 Hardly had Jacques begun to convalesce;
  and she could breathe again; when Madeleine made them all uneasy。 That
  pretty plant; whose bloom had lately rewarded the mother's culture;
  was now frail and pallid and anemic。 The countess; worn…out by
  Jacques' long illness; found no courage; she said; to bear this
  additional blow; and the ever present spectacle of these two dear
  failing creatures made her insensible to the redoubled torment of her
  husband's temper。 Thus the storms were again raging; tearing up by the
  roots the hopes that were planted deepest in her bosom。 She was now at
  the mercy of the count; weary of the struggle; she allowed him to
  regain all the ground he had lost。
  〃When all my strength is employed in caring for my children;〃 she
  wrote; 〃how is it possible to employ it against Monsieur de Mortsauf;
  how can I struggle against his aggressions when I am fighting against
  death? Standing here to…day; alone and much enfeebled; between these
  two young images of mournful fate; I am overpowered with disgust;
  invincible disgust for life。 What blow can I feel; to what affection
  can I answer; when I see Jacques motionless on the terrace; scarcely a
  sign of life about him; except in those dear eyes; large by
  emaciation; hollow as those of an old man and; oh; fatal sign; full of
  precocious intelligence contrasting with his physical debility。 When I
  look at my pretty Madeleine; once so gay; so caressing; so blooming;
  now white as death; her very hair and eyes seem to me to have paled;
  she turns a languishing look upon me as if bidding me farewell;
  nothing rouses her; nothing tempts her。 In spite of all my efforts I
  cannot amuse my children; they smile at me; but their smile is only in
  answer to my endearments; it does not come from them。 They weep
  because they have no strength to play with me。 Suffering has enfeebled
  their whole being; it has loosened even the ties that bound them to
  me。
  〃Thus you can well believe that Clochegourde is very sad。 Monsieur de
  Mortsauf now rules everythingOh my friend! you; my glory!〃 she
  wrote; farther on; 〃you must indeed love me well to love me still; to
  love me callous; ungrateful; turned to stone by grief。〃
  CHAPTER III
  THE TWO WOMEN
  It was at this time; when I was never more deeply moved in my whole
  being; when I lived in that soul to which I strove to send the
  luminous breeze of the mornings and the hope of the crimsoned
  evenings; that I met; in the salons of the Elysee…Bourbon; one of
  those illustrious ladies who reign as sovereigns in society。 Immensely
  rich; born of a family whose blood was pure from all misalliance since
  the Conquest; married to one of the most distinguished old men of the
  British peerage; it was nevertheless evident that these advantages
  were mere accessories heightening this lady's beauty; graces; manners;
  and wit; all of which had a brilliant quality which dazzled before it
  charmed。 She was the idol of the day; reigning the more securely over
  Parisian society because she possessed the quality most necessary to
  success;the hand of iron in the velvet glove spoken of by
  Bernadotte。
  You know the singular characteristics of English people; the distance
  and coldness of their own Channel which they put between them and
  whoever has not been presented to them in a proper manner。 Humanity
  seems to be an ant…hill on which they tread; they know none of their
  species except the few they admit into their circle; they ignore even
  the language of the rest; tongues may move and eyes may see in their
  presence but neither sound nor look has reached them; to them; the
  people are as if they were not。 The British present an image of their
  own island; where law rules everything; where all is automatic in
  every station of life; where the exercise of virtue appears to be the
  necessary working of a machine which goes by clockwork。 Fortifications
  of polished steel rise around the Englishwoman behind the golden wires
  of her household cage (where the feed…box and the drinking…cup; the
  perches and the food are exquisite in quality); but they make her
  irresistibly attractive。 No people ever trained married women so
  carefully to hypocrisy by holding them rigidly between the two
  extremes of death or social station; for them there is no middle path
  between shame and honor; either the wrong is completed or it does not
  exist; it is all or nothing;Hamlet's 〃To be or not to be。〃 This
  alternative; coupled with the scorn to which the customs of her
  country have trained her; make an Englishwoman a being apart in the
  world。 She is a helpless creature; forced to be virtuous yet ready to
  yield; condemned to live a lie in her heart; yet delightful in outward
  appearancefor these English rest everything on appearances。 Hence
  the special charms of their women: the enthusiasm for a love which is
  all their life; the minuteness of their care for their persons; the
  delicacy of their passion; so charmingly rendered in the famous scene
  of Romeo and Juliet in which; with one stroke; Shakespeare's genius
  depicted his country…women。
  You; who envy them so many things; what can I tell you that you do not
  know of these white sirens; impenetrable apparently but easily
  fathomed; who believe that love suffices love; and turn enjoyments to
  satiety by never varying them; whose soul has one note only; their
  voice one syllablean ocean of love in themselves; it is true; and he
  wh