soul　from　wasting　its　bloom。　Hide　your　pure　sentiments；　or　put
  them　in　regions　inaccessible；　where　their　blossoms　may　be
  passionately　admired；　where　the　artist　may　dream　amorously　of　his
  master…piece。　But　duties；　my　friend；　are　not　sentiments。　To　do
  what　we　ought　is　by　no　means　to　do　what　we　like。　A　man　who　would
  give　his　life　enthusiastically　for　a　woman　must　be　ready　to　die
  coldly　for　his　country。
  One　of　the　most　important　rules　in　the　science　of　manners　is　that
  of　almost　absolute　silence　about　ourselves。　Play　a　little　comedy
  for　your　own　instruction；　talk　of　yourself　to　acquaintances；　tell
  them　about　your　sufferings；　your　pleasures；　your　business；　and　you
  will　see　how　indifference　succeeds　pretended　interest；　then
  annoyance　follows；　and　if　the　mistress　of　the　house　does　not　find
  some　civil　way　of　stopping　you　the　company　will　disappear　under
  various　pretexts　adroitly　seized。　Would　you；　on　the　other　hand；
  gather　sympathies　about　you　and　be　spoken　of　as　amiable　and　witty；
  and　a　true　friend？　talk　to　others　of　themselves；　find　a　way　to
  bring　them　forward；　and　brows　will　clear；　lips　will　smile；　and
  after　you　leave　the　room　all　present　will　praise　you。　Your
  conscience　and　the　voice　of　your　own　heart　will　show　you　the　line
  where　the　cowardice　of　flattery　begins　and　the　courtesy　of
  intercourse　ceases。
  One　word　more　about　a　young　man's　demeanor　in　public。　My　dear
  friend；　youth　is　always　inclined　to　a　rapidity　of　judgment　which
  does　it　honor；　but　also　injury。　This　was　why　the　old　system　of
  education　obliged　young　people　to　keep　silence　and　study　life　in　a
  probationary　period　beside　their　elders。　Formerly；　as　you　know；
  nobility；　like　art；　had　its　apprentices；　its　pages；　devoted　body
  and　soul　to　the　masters　who　maintained　them。　To…day　youth　is
  forced　in　a　hot…house；　it　is　trained　to　judge　of　thoughts；
  actions；　and　writings　with　biting　severity；　it　slashes　with　a
  blade　that　has　not　been　fleshed。　Do　not　make　this　mistake。　Such
  judgments　will　seem　like　censures　to　many　about　you；　who　would
  sooner　pardon　an　open　rebuke　than　a　secret　wound。　Young　people　are
  pitiless　because　they　know　nothing　of　life　and　its　difficulties。
  The　old　critic　is　kind　and　considerate；　the　young　critic　is
  implacable；　the　one　knows　nothing；　the　other　knows　all。　Moreover；
  at　the　bottom　of　all　human　actions　there　is　a　labyrinth　of
  determining　reasons　on　which　God　reserves　for　himself　the　final
  judgment。　Be　severe　therefore　to　none　but　yourself。
  Your　future　is　before　you；　but　no　one　in　the　world　can　make　his
  way　unaided。　Therefore；　make　use　of　my　father's　house；　its　doors
  are　open　to　you；　the　connections　that　you　will　create　for　yourself
  under　his　roof　will　serve　you　in　a　hundred　ways。　But　do　not　yield
  an　inch　of　ground　to　my　mother；　she　will　crush　any　one　who　gives
  up　to　her；　but　she　will　admire　the　courage　of　whoever　resists　her。
  She　is　like　iron；　which　if　beaten；　can　be　fused　with　iron；　but
  when　cold　will　break　everything　less　hard　than　itself。　Cultivate
  my　mother；　for　if　she　thinks　well　of　you　she　will　introduce　you
  into　certain　houses　where　you　can　acquire　the　fatal　science　of　the
  world；　the　art　of　listening；　speaking；　answering；　presenting
  yourself　to　the　company　and　taking　leave　of　it；　the　precise　use　of
  language；　the　somethinghow　shall　I　explain　it？which　is　no　more
  superiority　than　the　coat　is　the　man；　but　without　which　the
  highest　talent　in　the　world　will　never　be　admitted　within　those
  portals。
  I　know　you　well　enough　to　be　quite　sure　I　indulge　no　illusion　when
  I　imagine　that　I　see　you　as　I　wish　you　to　be；　simple　in　manners；
  gentle　in　tone；　proud　without　conceit；　respectful　to　the　old；
  courteous　without　servility；　above　all；　discreet。　Use　your　wit　but
  never　display　it　for　the　amusement　of　others；　for　be　sure　that　if
  your　brilliancy　annoys　an　inferior　man；　he　will　retire　from　the
  field　and　say　of　you　in　a　tone　of　contempt；　〃He　is　very　amusing。〃
  Let　your　superiority　be　leonine。　Moreover；　do　not　be　always
  seeking　to　please　others。　I　advise　a　certain　coldness　in　your
  relations　with　men；　which　may　even　amount　to　indifference；　this
  will　not　anger　others；　for　all　persons　esteem　those　who　slight
  them；　and　it　will　win　you　the　favor　of　women；　who　will　respect　you
  for　the　little　consequence　that　you　attach　to　men。　Never　remain　in
  company　with　those　who　have　lost　their　reputation；　even　though
  they　may　not　have　deserved　to　do　so；　for　society　holds　us
  responsible　for　our　friendships　as　well　as　for　our　enmities。　In
  this　matter　let　your　judgments　be　slowly　and　maturely　weighed；　but
  see　that　they　are　irrevocable。　When　the　men　whom　you　have　repulsed
  justify　the　repulsion；　your　esteem　and　regard　will　be　all　the　more
  sought　after；　you　have　inspired　the　tacit　respect　which　raises　a
  man　among　his　peers。　I　behold　you　now　armed　with　a　youth　that
  pleases；　grace　which　attracts；　and　wisdom　with　which　to　preserve
  your　conquests。　All　that　I　have　now　told　you　can　be　summed　up　in
  two　words；　two　old…fashioned　words；　〃Noblesse　oblige。〃
  Now　apply　these　precepts　to　the　management　of　life。　You　will　hear
  many　persons　say　that　strategy　is　the　chief　element　of　success；
  that　the　best　way　to　press　through　the　crowd　is　to　set　some　men
  against　other　men　and　so　take　their　places。　That　was　a　good　system
  for　the　Middle　Ages；　when　princes　had　to　destroy　their　rivals　by
  pitting　one　against　the　other；　but　in　these　days；　all　things　being
  done　in　open　day；　I　am　afraid　it　would　do　you　ill…service。　No；　you
  must　meet　your　competitors　face　to　face；　be　they　loyal　and　true
  men；　or　traitorous　enemies　whose　weapons　are　calumny；　evil…
  speaking；　and　fraud。　But　remember　this；　you　have　no　more　powerful
  auxiliaries　than　these　men　themselves；　they　are　their　own　enemies；
  fight　them　with　honest　weapons；　and　sooner　or　later　they　are
  condemned。　As　to　the　first　of　them；　loyal　men　and　true；　your
  straightforwardness　will　obtain　their　respect；　and　the　differences
  between　you　once　settled　（for　all　things　can　be　settled）；　these
  men　will　serve　you。　Do　not　be　afraid　of　making　enemies；　woe　to　him
  who　has　none　in　the　world　you　are　about　to　enter；　but　try　to　give
  no　handle　for　ridicule　or　disparagement。　I　say　TRY；　for　in　Paris　a
  man　cannot　always　belong　solely　to　himself；　he　is　sometimes　at　the
  mercy　of　circumstances；　you　will　not　always　be　able　to　avoid　the
  mud　in　the　gutter　nor　the　tile　that　falls　from　the　roof。　The　moral
  world　has　gutters　where　persons　of　no　reputation　endeavor　to
  splash　the　mud　in　which　they　live　upon　men　of　honor。　But　you　can
  always　compel　respect　by　showing　that　you　are；　under　all
  circumstances；　immovable　in　your　principles。　In　the　conflict　of
  opinions；　in　the　midst　of　quarrels　and　cross…purposes；　go　straight
  to　the　point；　keep　resolutely　to　the　question；　never　fight　except
  for　the　essential　thing；　and　put　your　whole　strength　into　that。
  You　know　how　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　hates　Napoleon；　how　he　curses
  him　and　pursues　him　as　justice　does　a　criminal；　demanding
  punishment　day　and　night　for　the　death　of　the　Duc　d'Enghien；　the
  only　death；　the　only　misfortune；　that　ever　brought　the　tears　to
  his　eyes；　well；　he　nevertheless　admired　him　as　the　greatest　of
  captains；　and　has　often　explained　to　me　his　strategy。　May　not　the
  same　tactics　be　applied　to　the　war　of　human　interests；　they　would
  economize　time　as　heretofore　they　economized　men　and　space。　Think
  this　over；　for　as　a　woman　I　am　liable　to　be　mistaken　on　such
  points　which　my　sex　judges　only　by　instinct　and　sentiment。　One
  point；　however；　I　may　insist　on；　all　trickery；　all　deception；　is
  certain　to　be　discovered　and　to　result　in　doing　harm；　whereas
  every　situation　presents　less　danger　if　a　man　plants　himself
  firmly　on　his　own　truthfulness。　If　I　may　cite　my　own　case；　I　can
  tell　you　that；　obliged　as　I　am　by　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf's　condition
  to　avoid　litigation　and　to　bring　to　an　immediate　settlement　all
  difficulties　which　arise　in　the　management　of　Clochegourde；　and
  which　would　otherwise　cause　him　an　excitement　under　which　his　mind
  would　succumb；　I　have　invariably　settled　matters　promptly　by
  taking　hold　of　the　knot　of　the　difficulty　and　saying　to　our
  opponents：　〃We　will　either　untie　it　or　cut　it！〃
  It　will　often　happen　that　you　do　a　service　to　others　and　find
  yourself　ill…rewarded；　I　beg　you　not　to　imitate　those　who　complain
  of　men　and　declare　them　to　be　all　ungrateful。　That　is　putting
  themselves　on　a　pedestal　indeed！　and　surely　it　is　somewhat　silly
  to　admit　their　lack　of　knowledge　of　the　world。　But　you；　I　trust；
  will　not　do　good　as　a　usurer　lends　his　money；　you　will　do　itwill
  you　not？for　good's　sake。　Noblesse　oblige。　Nevertheless；　do　not
  bestow　such　services　as　to　force　others　to　ingratitude；　for　if　yo