第 55 节
作者:点绛唇      更新:2021-02-19 01:05      字数:9321
  ‘‘Unless I had an intense personal interest in the most active kind of life in a place like this; I should either fly or take to drink;'' replied he。  ‘‘In this world you've either got to invent occupation for yourself or else keep where amusements and distractions are thrust at you from rising till bed…time。  And no amusements are thrust at you in Remsen City。''
  ‘‘But I've been trying the life of being amused;'' said Jane; ‘‘and I've got enough。''
  ‘‘For the moment;'' said Victor; laughing。  ‘‘You'll go back。  You've got to。  What else is there for you?''
  Her eyes abruptly became serious。  ‘‘That's what I've come home to find out;'' said she。  Hesitatingly; ‘‘That's why I've come here to…day。''
  He became curiously quietstared at the writing before him on the table。  After a while he said:
  ‘‘Jane; I was entirely too glad to see you to…day。  I had''
  ‘‘Don't say that;'' she pleaded。  ‘‘Victor; it isn't a weakness''
  His hand resting upon the table clenched into a fist and his brows drew down。  ‘‘There can be no question but that it is a weakness and a folly;'' he pushed on。  ‘‘I will not spoil your life and mine。  You are not for me; and I am not for you。  The reason we hang on to this is because each of us has a streak of tenacity。  We don't want each other; but we are so made that we can't let go of an idea once it has gotten into our heads。''
  ‘‘There is another reason;'' she said gently。  ‘‘We are; both of us; aloneand lonesome; Victor。''
  ‘‘But I'm not alone。  I'm not lonesome''  And there he abruptly halted; to gaze at her with the expression of awakening and astonishment。  ‘‘I believe I'm wrong。  I believe you're right;'' he exclaimed。  ‘‘I had never thought of that before。''
  ‘‘You've been imagining your work; your cause was enough;'' she went on in a quiet rational way that was a revelationand a self…revelationof the real Jane Hastings。  ‘‘But it isn't。  There's a whole other side of your naturethethethe private sidethat's the expressionthe private side。  And you've been denying to it its rights。''
  He reflected; nodded slowly。  ‘‘I believe that's the truth;'' he said。  ‘‘It explains a curious feeling I've had a sort of shriveling sensation。''  He gazed thoughtfully at her; his face gradually relaxing into a merry smile。
  ‘‘What is it?'' asked she; smiling in turn。
  ‘‘We've both got to fall in love and marry;'' said he。  ‘‘Not with each other; of coursefor we're not in any way mated。  But love and marriage and the rest of it that's the solution。  I don't need it quite as much as you do; for I've got my work。  But I need it。  Now that I see things in the right light I wonder that I've been so stupidly blind。  Why do we human beings always overlook the obvious?''
  ‘‘It isn't easy to marry;'' said Jane; rather drearily。  ‘‘It isn't easy to find some one with whom one would be willing to pass one's life。  I've had several chances one or two of them not entirely mercenary; I think。  But not one that I could bring myself to accept。''
  ‘‘Vanityvanity;'' said Victor。  ‘‘Almost any human being is interesting and attractive if one will stop thinking about oneself and concentrate on him or her。''
  She smiled。  ‘‘It's evident you've never tried to fall in love。''
  ‘‘The nearest I ever came to it was with you;'' replied he。  ‘‘But that was; of course; out of the question。''
  ‘‘I don't admit that;'' said she; with an amusing kind of timid obstinacy。
  ‘‘Let's be honest and natural with each other;'' urged he。  ‘‘Now; Jane; admit that in your heart of hearts you feel you ought not to marry me。''
  Her glance avoided his。
  ‘‘Comeown up!'' cried he。
  ‘‘I have thought of that side of it;'' she conceded。
  ‘‘And if I hadn't piqued you by thinking of it; too; you'd never have lingered on any other side of it;'' said he。  ‘‘Well!  Now that we've cleared the ground there's Davy。  He's to be nominated by the Republicans for Governor next week。''
  ‘‘Davy?  I had almost forgotten him。  I'll think of Davyand let you know 。 。 。  And you?  Who is there for you?''
  ‘‘Ohno one you know。  My sister has recommended several girls from time to time。  I'll see。''
  Jane gave the freest and heartiest laugh that had passed her lips in more than a year。  It was thus free and unrestrained because he had not said what she was fearing he would sayhad not suggested the woman nearest him; the obvious woman。  So eager was she to discover what he thought of Selma; that she could hardly restrain herself from suggesting her。  Before they could say anything more; two men came to talk with him。  Jane could not but leave。
  She dined that night at Mrs。 Sherlock'sMrs。 Sherlock was Davy's oldest sister。  Davy took her in; they talkedabout his careerthrough dinner; and he walked home with her in the moonlight。  He was full of his approaching nomination。  He had been making what is known as a good record; as mayor。  That is; he had struck out boldly at sundry petty abuses practised by a low and comparatively uninfluential class of exploiters of the people。  He had been so busy with these showy trifles that there had been no time for the large abuses。  True; he had publicly warned the gas company about its poor gas; and the water company about its unwholesome water for the low…lying tenement districts; and the traction company about the fewness and filthiness of its cars。  The gas company had talked of putting in improved machinery; the water company had invited estimates on a filtration plant; the traction company had said a vague something about new cars as soon as car manufacturers could make definite promises as to delivery。  But nothing had been doneas yet。  Obviously a corporation; a large investment of capital; must be treated with consideration。  It would not do for a conservative; fair minded mayor to rush into demagogery。  So; Davy was content to point proudly to his record of having ‘‘made the big corporations awaken to a sense of their duty。''  An excellent record; as good as a reform politician; with a larger career in prospect; could be expected to make。  People spoke well of Mayor Hull and the three daily papers eulogized him。  Davy no longer had qualms of conscience。  He read the eulogies; he listened to the flatteries of the conservative leading citizens he met at the Lincoln and at the University; and he felt that he was all that he in young enthusiasm had set out to be。
  When he went to other cities and towns and to county fairs to make addresses he was introduced as the man who had redeemed Remsen City; as a shining example of the honest SANE man in politics; as a man the bosses were afraid of; yet dared not try to down。  ‘‘You can't fool the people。''  And were not the people; notably those who didn't live in Remsen City and had only read in their newspapers about the reform Republican mayor weren't they clamorous for Mayor Hull for governor!  Thus; Davy was high in his own esteem; was in that mood of profound responsibility to righteousness and to the people wherein a man can get the enthusiastic endorsement of his conscience for any act he deems it expedient to commit in safeguarding and advancing his career。  His person had become valuable to his country。  His opponents were therefore anathema maranatha。
  As he and Jane walked side by side in the tender moonlight; Jane said:
  ‘‘What's become of Selma Gordon?''
  A painful pause; then Davy; in a tone that secretly amused Jane:  ‘‘Selma?  I see her occasionallyat a distance。  She still writes for Victor Dorn's sheet; I believe。  I never see it。''
  Jane felt she could easily guess why。  ‘‘Yesit is irritating to read criticisms of oneself;'' said she sweetly。  Davy's self…complacence had been most trying to her nerves。
  Another long silence; then he said:  ‘‘AboutMiss Gordon。  I suppose you were thinking of the things I confided to you last year?''
  ‘‘Yes; I was;'' confessed Jane。
  ‘‘That's all over;'' said Mayor and prospective Governor Hull。  ‘‘I found I was mistaken in her。''
  ‘‘Didn't you tell me that she refused you?'' pressed Jane; most unkindly。
  ‘‘We met again after that;'' said Davyby way of proving that even the most devoted apostle of civic righteousness is yet not without his share of the common humanity; ‘‘and from that time I felt differently toward her。 。 。 。  I've never been able to understand my folly。 。 。 。  I wonder if you could forgive me for it?''
  Davy was a good deal of a bore; she felt。  At least; he seemed so in this first renewing of old acquaintance。  But he was a man of purpose; a man who was doing much and would do more。  And she liked him; and had for him that feeling of sympathy and comprehension which exists among people of the same region; brought up in much the same way。  Instead of cutting him off; she temporized。  Said she with a serenely careless laugh that might have let a man more expert in the ways of women into the secret of how little she cared about him:  ‘‘You mean forgive you for dropping me so abruptly and running after her?''
  ‘‘That's not exactly the way to put it;'' objected he。
  ‘‘Put it any way you like;'' said Jane。  ‘‘I forgive you。  I didn't care at the time; and I don't care now。''
  Jane was looking entrancing in that delicate light。  Davy was notingwas feelingthis。  Also; he was