第 16 节
作者:南方网      更新:2021-02-19 00:20      字数:9322
  and his God and his country。  Her anger passed from one
  subject to another constantly; finding in all; even in
  the lukewarmness of Antonia and Isabel; and in their affection
  for lovers; who were also rebels; an accumulating reason for
  a stupendous reproach against herself; her husband; her
  children; and her unhappy fate。  Her whole nature was in
  revoltin that complete mental and moral anarchy from which
  springs tragedy and murder。
  Isabel wept so violently that she angered still further the
  tearless suffering of her mother。  〃God and the saints!〃 she
  cried。  〃What are you weeping for?  Will tears do any good?
  Do I weep?  God has forbidden me to weep for the wicked。  Yet
  how I suffer! Mary; mother of sorrows; pity me!〃
  She sent Isabel away。  Her sobs were not to be borne。  And
  very soon she felt Antonia's white face and silent
  companionship to be just as unendurable。  She would be alone。
  Not even Rachela would she have near her。  She put out all the
  lights but the taper above a large crucifix; and at its foot
  she sat down in tearless abandon; alone with her reproaches
  and her remorse。
  Antonia watched with her mother; though shut out from her
  presence。  She feared for a state of mind so barren of
  affection; so unsoftened by tears。  Besides; it was the climax
  of a condition which had continued ever since she had sent her
  boy away without a word of love。  In the dim corridor outside
  she sat still; listening for any noise or movement which might
  demand help or sympathy。  It was not nine o'clock; but the
  time lengthened itself out beyond endurance。  Even yet she had
  hope of some word from her father。  Surely; they would let him
  send some word to them!
  She heard the murmur of voices downstairs; and she thought
  angrily of Rachela; and Molly; and Manuel; 〃making a little
  confidence together〃 over their trouble; and spicing their
  evening gossip with the strange thing that had happened to the
  Senor Doctor。  She knew that Rachela and Manuel would call him
  heretic and Americano; and; by authority of these two words;
  accuse him of every crime。
  Thinking with a swelling heart of these things; she heard the
  door open; and a step slowly and heavily ascend the stairs。
  Ere she had time to wonder at it; her father came in sight。
  There was a shocking change in his air and appearance; but as
  he was evidently going to her mother's room; she shrank
  back and sat motionless so as not to attract his attention。
  Then she went to the parlor; and had the fire renewed and food
  put upon the table。  She was sure that he would need it; and
  she believed he would be glad to talk over with her the events
  of the afternoon。
  The Senora was still sitting at the foot of the crucifix when
  her husband opened the door。  She had not been able to pray;
  ave and paternoster alike had failed her。  Her rebellious
  grief filled every corner of her heart。  She understood that
  some one had entered the room; and she thought of Rachela; but
  she found a kind of comfort in the dull stupor of grief she
  was indulging; and she would not break its spell by lifting
  her head。
  〃Maria。〃
  She rose up quickly and stood gazing at him。
  She did not shriek or exclaim; her surprise controlled her。
  And also her terror; for his face was white as death; and had
  an expression of angry despair that terrified her。
  〃Roberto! Roberto! Mi Roberto!  How you have tortured me!  I
  have nearly died!  Fray Ignatius said you had been sent
  to prison。〃
  She spoke as calmly as a frightened child; sad and hesitating。
  If he had taken her in his arms she would have sobbed her
  grief away there。
  But Robert Worth was at that hour possessed by two master
  passions; tyrannical and insatiablethey would take notice of
  nothing that did not minister to them。
  〃Maria; they have taken my arms from me。  Cowards!  Cowards!
  Miserable cowards!  I refused to give them up!  They held my
  hands and robbed merobbed me of my manhood and honor!  I
  begged them to shoot me ere they did it; and they spoke
  courteously and regretted this; and hoped that; till I felt
  that it would be a joy to strangle them。〃
  〃Roberto!  Mi Roberto!  You have me!〃
  〃I want my rifle and all it represents。  I want myself back
  again。  Maria; Maria; until then; I am not worthy to be any
  good woman's husband!〃
  〃Roberto; dearest!  It is not your fault。〃
  〃It is my fault。  I have waited too long。  My sons showed me
  my dutymy soul urged me to do it。  I deserve the shame;
  but I will wipe it out with crimson blood。〃
  The Senora stood speechless; wringing her hands。  Her own
  passion was puny beside the sternness; the reality; and the
  intensity of the quiet rage before her。  She was completely
  mastered by it。  She forgot all but the evident agony she
  could neither mistake nor console。
  〃I have come to say ‘farewell;' Maria。  We have been very
  happy togetherMariaour childrendearest〃
  〃Oh; Roberto!  My husband!  My soul!  My life!  Leave me not。〃
  〃I am going for my arms。  I will take them a hundredfold from
  those who have robbed me。  I swear I will!〃
  〃You do not love me。  What are these Americans to you?  I am
  your wife。  Your Maria〃
  〃These Americans are my brothersmy sons。  My mother is an
  American woman。〃
  〃And I?〃
  〃You are my wifemy dear wife!  I love youGod Almighty
  knows how well I love you; but we must part now; at least for
  a short time。  Maria; my dear one; I must go。〃
  〃Go?  Where to?〃
  〃I am going to join General Houston。〃
  〃I thought so。  I knew it。  The accursed one!  Oh that I had
  him here again!  I would bury my stiletto in his heart!  Over
  the white hilt I would bury it!  I would wash my hands in his
  blood; and think them blessed ever afterwards!  Stay till
  daylight; Roberto。  I have so much to say; dearest。〃
  〃I cannot。  I have stayed too long。  And now I must ride
  without a gun or knife to protect me。  Any Indian that I meet
  can scalp me。  Do you understand now what disarming means;
  Maria?  If I had gone with my boy; with my brave Jack; I could
  at least have sold my life to its last drop。〃
  〃In the morning; Roberto; Lopez Navarro will get you a gun。
  Oh; if you must go; do not go unarmed!  There are ten thousand
  Comanche between here and the Brazos。〃
  〃How could I look Lopez Navarro in the face?  Or any other
  man?  No; no!  I must win back my arms; before I can walk the
  streets of San Antonio again。〃
  He took her in his arms; he kissed her eyes; her cheeks; her
  lips; murmuring tender little Spanish words that meant;
  oh; so much; to the wretched woman!words she had taught him
  with kisseswords he never used but to her ears only。
  She clung to his neck; to his hands; to his feet; she made his
  farewell an unspeakable agony。  At last he laid her upon her
  couch; sobbing and shrieking like a child in an extremity of
  physical anguish。  But he did not blame her。  Her
  impetuosities; her unreasonable extravagances; were a part of
  her nature; her race; and her character。  He did not expect a
  weak; excitable woman to become suddenly a creature of flame
  and steel。
  But it was a wonderful rest to his exhausted body and soul to
  turn from her to Antonia。  She led him quietly to his chair by
  the parlor fire。  She gave him food and wine。  She listened
  patiently; but with a living sympathy; to his wrong。  She
  endorsed; with a clasp of his hand and a smile; his purpose。
  And she said; almost cheerfully:
  〃You have not given up all your arms; father。  When I first
  heard of the edict; I hid in my own room the rifle; the powder
  and the shot; which were in your study。  Paola has knives in
  the stable; plenty of them。  Get one from him。〃
  Good news is a very relative thing。  This information made the
  doctor feel as if all were now easy and possible。  The words
  he said to her; Antonia never forgot。  They sang in her heart
  like music; and led her on through many a difficult path。  The
  conversation then turned upon money matters; and Antonia
  received the key of his study; and full directions as to the
  gold and papers secreted there。
  Then Isabel was awakened; and the rifle brought down; and
  Paola saddled the fleetest horse in the stable; and after one
  solemn five minutes with his daughter; Robert Worth rode away
  into the midnight darkness; and into a chaos of public events
  of which no man living could forecast the outcome。
  Rode away from wife and children and home; leaving behind him
  the love and labor of his lifetime
  〃The thousand sweet; still joys of such
  As hand in hand face earthly life。〃
  For what?  For justice; for freedom of thought and action; for
  the rights of his manhood; for the brotherhood of race
  and religion and country。  Antonia and Isabel stood hand in
  hand at the same lattice from which the Senora had watched her
  son away; and in a dim; uncertain manner these thoughts
  connected themselves in each mind with the same mournful
  inquiryIs it worth while?
  As the beat of the horse's hoofs died away; they turned。  The
  night was cold but clear; and the sky appeared so high that
  their eyes throbbed as they gazed upward at the grand arch;
  sprinkled with suns and worlds。  Suddenly into the tranquil
  spaces there was flung a sound of joy and revelry; and th