第 26 节
作者:
花旗 更新:2021-02-18 23:51 字数:9322
and then she could not get out anything more till she entreated in a
half…stifled voice; 〃Oh; don't!〃 ‘
〃No; no!〃 he panted。 〃I won'tI oughtn't to have done itI beg your
pardonI oughtn't to have spoken;evenI〃
She returned in a far less breathless and tremulous fashion; but still
between laughing and crying; 〃I meant to make you。 And now; if you're
ever sorry; or I'm ever too topping about anything; you can be perfectly
free to say that you'd never have spoken if you hadn't seen that I wanted
you to。〃
〃But I didn't see any such thing;〃 he protested。 〃I spoke because I
couldn't help it any longer。〃
She laughed triumphantly。 〃Of course you think so! And that shows that
you are only a man after all; in spite of your finessing。 But I am going
to have the credit of it。 I knew that you were holding back because you
were too proud; or thought you hadn't the right; or something。 Weren't
you?〃 She startled him with the sudden vehemence of her challenge: 〃If
you pretend; that you weren't I shall never forgive you!〃
〃But I was! Of course I was。 I was afraid〃
〃Isn't that what I said?〃 She triumphed over him with another laugh; and
cowered a little closer to him; if that could be。
They were standing; without knowing how they had got to their feet; and
now without any purpose of the kind; they began to stroll again among the
garden paths; and to ask and to answer questions; which touched every
point of their common history; and yet left it a mine of inexhaustible
knowledge for all future time。 Out of the sweet and dear delight of this
encyclopedian reserve two or three facts appeared with a present
distinctness。 One of these was that Burnamy had regarded her refusal to
be definite at Carlsbad as definite refusal; and had meant never to see
her again; and certainly never to speak again of love to her。 Another
point was that she had not resented his coming back that last night; but
had been proud and happy in it as proof of his love; and had always meant
somehow to let him know that she was torched by his trusting her enough
to come back while be was still under that cloud with Mr。 Stoller。 With
further logic; purely of the heart; she acquitted him altogether of wrong
in that affair; and alleged in proof; what Mr。 Stoller had said of it to
Mr。 March。 Burnamy owned that he knew what Stoller had said; but even in
his present condition he could not accept fully her reading of that
obscure passage of his life。 He preferred to put the question by; and
perhaps neither of them cared anything about it except as it related to
the fact that they were now each other's forever。
They agreed that they must write to Mr。 and Mrs。 March at once; or at
least; Agatha said; as soon as she had spoken to her father。 At her
mention of her father she was aware of a doubt; a fear; in Burnamy which
expressed itself by scarcely more than a spiritual consciousness from his
arm to the hands which she had clasped within it。 〃He has always
appreciated you;〃 she said courageously; 〃 and I know he will see it in
the right light。〃
She probably meant no more than to affirm her faith in her own ability
finally to bring her father to a just mind concerning it; but Burnamy
accepted her assurance with buoyant hopefulness; and said he would see
General Triscoe the first thing in the morning。
〃No; I will see him;〃 she said; 〃I wish to see him first; he will expect
it of me。 We had better go in; now;〃 she added; but neither made any
motion for the present to do so。 On the contrary; they walked in the
other direction; and it was an hour after Agatha declared their duty in
the matter before they tried to fulfil it。
Then; indeed; after they returned to the hotel; she lost no time in going
to her father beyond that which must be given to a long hand…pressure
under the fresco of the five poets on the stairs landing; where her ways
and Burnamy's parted。 She went into her own room; and softly opened the
door into her father's and listened。
〃Well?〃 he said in a sort of challenging voice。
〃Have you been asleep?〃 she asked。
〃I've just blown out my light。 What has kept you?〃
She did not reply categorically。 Standing there in the sheltering dark;
she said; 〃Papa; I wasn't very candid with you; this afternoon。 I am
engaged to Mr。 Burnamy。〃
〃Light the candle;〃 said her father。 〃Or no;〃 he added before she could
do so。 〃Is it quite settled?〃
〃Quite;〃 she answered in a voice that admitted of no doubt。 〃That is; as
far as it can be; without you。〃
〃Don't be a hypocrite; Agatha;〃 said the general。 〃And let me try to get
to sleep。 You know I don't like it; and you know I can't help it。〃
〃Yes;〃 the girl assented。
〃Then go to bed;〃 said the general concisely。
Agatha did not obey her father。 She thought she ought to kiss him; but
she decided that she had better postpone this; so she merely gave him a
tender goodnight; to which he made no response; and shut herself into her
own room; where she remained sitting and staring out into the moonlight;
with a smile that never left her lips。
When the moon sank below the horizon; the sky was pale with the coming
day; but before it was fairly dawn; she saw something white; not much
greater than some moths; moving before her window。 She pulled the valves
open and found it a bit of paper attached to a thread dangling from
above。 She broke it loose and in the morning twilight she read the great
central truth of the universe:
〃I love you。 L。 J。 B。〃
She wrote under the tremendous inspiration:
〃So do I。 Don't be silly。 A。 T。〃
She fastened the paper to the thread again; and gave it a little twitch。
She waited for the low note of laughter which did not fail to flutter
down from above; then she threw herself upon the bed; and fell asleep。
It was not so late as she thought when she woke; and it seemed; at
breakfast; that Burnamy had been up still earlier。 Of the three involved
in the anxiety of the night before General Triscoe was still respited
from it by sleep; but he woke much more haggard than either of the young
people。 They; in fact; were not at all haggard; the worst was over; if
bringing their engagement to his knowledge was the worst; the formality
of asking his consent which Burnamy still had to go through was
unpleasant; but after all it was a formality。 Agatha told him everything
that had passed between herself and her father; and if it had not that
cordiality on his part which they could have wished it was certainly not
hopelessly discouraging。
They agreed at breakfast that Burnamy had better have it over as quickly
as possible; and he waited only till August came down with the general's
tray before going up to his room。 The young fellow did not feel more at
his ease than the elder meant he should in taking the chair to which the
general waved him from where he lay in bed; and there was no talk wasted
upon the weather between them。
〃I suppose I know what you have come for; Mr。 Burnamy;〃 said General
Triscoe in a tone which was rather judicial than otherwise; 〃and I
suppose you know why you have come。〃 The words certainly opened the way
for Burnamy; but he hesitated so long to take it that the general had
abundant time to add; 〃I don't pretend that this event is unexpected; but
I should like to know what reason you have for thinking I should wish you
to marry my daughter。 I take it for granted that you are attached to
each other; and we won't waste time on that point。 Not to beat about the
bush; on the next point; let me ask at once what your means of supporting
her are。 How much did you earn on that newspaper in Chicago?〃
〃Fifteen hundred dollars;〃 Burnamy answered; promptly enough。
〃Did you earn anything more; say within the last year?〃
〃I got three hundred dollars advance copyright for a book I sold to a
publisher。〃 The glory had not yet faded from the fact in Burnamy's mind。
〃Eighteen hundred。 What did you get for your poem in March's book?〃
〃That's a very trifling matter: fifteen dollars。〃
〃And your salary as private secretary to that man Stoller?〃
〃Thirty dollars a week; and my expenses。 But I wouldn't take that;
General Triscoe;〃 said Burnamy。
General Triscoe; from his 'lit de justice'; passed this point in silence。
〃Have you any one dependent on you?〃
〃My mother; I take care of my mother;〃 answered Burnamy; proudly。
〃Since you have broken with Stoller; what are your prospects?〃
〃I have none。〃
〃Then you don't expect to support my daughter; you expect to live upon
her means。〃
〃I expect to do nothing of the kind! 〃 cried Burnamy。 〃I should be
ashamedI should feel disgracedI shouldI don't ask youI don't ask
her till I have the means to support her〃
〃If you were very fortunate;〃 continued the general; unmoved by the young
fellow's pain; and unperturbed by the fact that he had himself lived upon
his wife's means as long as she lived; and then upon his daughter's; 〃if
you went back to Stoller〃
〃I wouldn't go back to him。 I don't say he's knowingly a rascal; but
he's ignorantly a rascal; and he proposed a rascally thing to me。 I
behaved badly to him; and I'd give anything to undo the wrong I l