第 15 节
作者:冥王      更新:2021-02-18 23:11      字数:9322
  and beautiful; have something else to think of; they are surrounded
  like rare plants by a hedge of fools; well…bred idiots as hollow as
  elder…bushes! My dream; alas! the crystal of my dream; garlanded from
  hence to the Correze with rosesah! I cannot speak of itit is in
  fragments at my feet; and has long been so。 No; no; all anonymous
  letters are begging letters; and what sort of begging? Write yourself
  to that young woman; if you suppose her young and pretty; and you'll
  find out。 There is nothing like experience。 As for me; I can't
  reasonably be expected to love every woman; Apollo; at any rate he of
  Belvedere; is a delicate consumptive who must take care of his
  health。〃
  〃But when a woman writes to you in this way her excuse must certainly
  be in her consciousness that she is able to eclipse in tenderness and
  beauty every other woman;〃 said Ernest; 〃and I should think you might
  feel some curiosity〃
  〃Ah;〃 said Canalis; 〃permit me; my juvenile friend; to abide by the
  beautiful duchess who is all my joy。〃
  〃You are right; you are right!〃 cried Ernest。 However; the young
  secretary read and re…read Modeste's letter; striving to guess the
  mind of its hidden writer。
  〃There is not the least fine…writing here;〃 he said; 〃she does not
  even talk of your genius; she speaks to your heart。 In your place I
  should feel tempted by this fragrance of modesty;this proposed
  agreement〃
  〃Then; sign it!〃 cried Canalis; laughing; 〃answer the letter and go to
  the end of the adventure yourself。 You shall tell me the results three
  months henceif the affair lasts so long。〃
  Four days later Modeste received the following letter; written on
  extremely fine paper; protected by two envelopes; and sealed with the
  arms of Canalis。
  Mademoiselle;The admiration for fine works (allowing that my
  books are such) implies something so lofty and sincere as to
  protect you from all light jesting; and to justify before the
  sternest judge the step you have taken in writing to me。
  But first I must thank you for the pleasure which such proofs of
  sympathy afford; even though we may not merit them;for the maker
  of verses and the true poet are equally certain of the intrinsic
  worth of their writings;so readily does self…esteem lend itself
  to praise。 The best proof of friendship that I can give to an
  unknown lady in exchange for a faith which allays the sting of
  criticism; is to share with her the harvest of my own experience;
  even at the risk of dispelling her most vivid illusions。
  Mademoiselle; the noblest adornment of a young girl is the flower
  of a pure and saintly and irreproachable life。 Are you alone in
  the world? If you are; there is no need to say more。 But if you
  have a family; a father or a mother; think of all the sorrow that
  might come to them from such a letter as yours addressed to a poet
  of whom you know nothing personally。 All writers are not angels;
  they have many defects。 Some are frivolous; heedless; foppish;
  ambitious; dissipated; and; believe me; no matter how imposing
  innocence may be; how chivalrous a poet is; you will meet with
  many a degenerate troubadour in Paris ready to cultivate your
  affection only to betray it。 By such a man your letter would be
  interpreted otherwise than it is by me。 He would see a thought
  that is not in it; which you; in your innocence; have not
  suspected。 There are as many natures as there are writers。 I am
  deeply flattered that you have judged me capable of understanding
  you; but had you; perchance; fallen upon a hypocrite; a scoffer;
  one whose books may be melancholy but whose life is a perpetual
  carnival; you would have found as the result of your generous
  imprudence an evil…minded man; the frequenter of green…rooms;
  perhaps a hero of some gay resort。 In the bower of clematis where
  you dream of poets; can you smell the odor of the cigar which
  drives all poetry from the manuscript?
  But let us look still further。 How could the dreamy; solitary life
  you lead; doubtless by the sea…shore; interest a poet; whose
  mission it is to imagine all; and to paint all? What reality can
  equal imagination? The young girls of the poets are so ideal that
  no living daughter of Eve can compete with them。 And now tell me;
  what will you gain;you; a young girl; brought up to be the
  virtuous mother of a family;if you learn to comprehend the
  terrible agitations of a poet's life in this dreadful capital;
  which may be defined by one sentence;the hell in which men love。
  If the desire to brighten the monotonous existence of a young girl
  thirsting for knowledge has led you to take your pen in hand and
  write to me; has not the step itself the appearance of
  degradation? What meaning am I to give to your letter? Are you one
  of a rejected caste; and do you seek a friend far away from you?
  Or; are you afflicted with personal ugliness; yet feeling within
  you a noble soul which can give and receive a confidence? Alas;
  alas; the conclusion to be drawn is grievous。 You have said too
  much; or too little; you have gone too far; or not far enough。
  Either let us drop this correspondence; or; if you continue it;
  tell me more than in the letter you have now written me。
  But; mademoiselle; if you are young; if you are beautiful; if you
  have a home; a family; if in your heart you have the precious
  ointment; the spikenard; to pour out; as did Magdalene on the feet
  of Jesus; let yourself be won by a man worthy of you; become what
  every pure young girl should be;a good woman; the virtuous
  mother of a family。 A poet is the saddest conquest that a girl can
  make; he is full of vanity; full of angles that will sharply wound
  a woman's proper pride; and kill a tenderness which has no
  experience of life。 The wife of a poet should love him long before
  she marries him; she must train herself to the charity of angels;
  to their forbearance; to all the virtues of motherhood。 Such
  qualities; mademoiselle; are but germs in a young girl。
  Hear the whole truth;do I not owe it to you in return for your
  intoxicating flattery? If it is a glorious thing to marry a great
  renown; remember also that you must soon discover a superior man
  to be; in all that makes a man; like other men。 He therefore
  poorly realizes the hopes that attach to him as a phoenix。 He
  becomes like a woman whose beauty is over…praised; and of whom we
  say: 〃I thought her far more lovely。〃 She has not warranted the
  portrait painted by the fairy to whom I owe your letter;the
  fairy whose name is Imagination。
  Believe me; the qualities of the mind live and thrive only in a
  sphere invisible; not in daily life; the wife of a poet bears the
  burden; she sees the jewels manufactured; but she never wears
  them。 If the glory of the position fascinates you; hear me now
  when I tell you that its pleasures are soon at an end。 You will
  suffer when you find so many asperities in a nature which; from a
  distance; you thought equable; and such coldness at the shining
  summit。 Moreover; as women never set their feet within the world
  of real difficulties; they cease to appreciate what they once
  admired as soon as they think they see the inner mechanism of it。
  I close with a last thought; in which there is no disguised
  entreaty; it is the counsel of a friend。 The exchange of souls can
  take place only between persons who are resolved to hide nothing
  from each other。 Would you show yourself for such as you are to an
  unknown man? I dare not follow out the consequences of that idea。
  Deign to accept; mademoiselle; the homage which we owe to all
  women; even those who are disguised and masked。
  So this was the letter she had worn between her flesh and her corset
  above her palpitating heart throughout one whole day! For this she had
  postponed the reading until the midnight hour when the household
  slept; waiting for the solemn silence with the eager anxiety of an
  imagination on fire! For this she had blessed the poet by
  anticipation; reading a thousand letters ere she opened one;fancying
  all things; except this drop of cold water falling upon the vaporous
  forms of her illusion; and dissolving them as prussic acid dissolves
  life。 What could she do but hide herself in her bed; blow out her
  candle; bury her face in the sheets and weep?
  All this happened during the first days of July。 But Modeste presently
  got up; walked across the room and opened the window。 She wanted air。
  The fragrance of the flowers came to her with the peculiar freshness
  of the odors of the night。 The sea; lighted by the moon; sparkled like
  a mirror。 A nightingale was singing in a tree。 〃Ah; there is the
  poet!〃 thought Modeste; whose anger subsided at once。 Bitter
  reflections chased each other through her mind。 She was cut to the
  quick; she wished to re