第 21 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2021-02-18 21:45      字数:9322
  for Billy; or into a candy shop on a like atoning
  errand。
  As to BillyBilly; too; was busy these days
  chief of her concerns being; perhaps; attention
  to that honeymoon of hers; to see that it did
  not wane。  At least; the most of her thoughts;
  and many of her actions; centered about that
  object。
  Billy had the book; nowthe ‘‘Talk to Young
  Wives。''  For a time she had worked with only
  the newspaper criticism to guide her; but; coming
  at last to the conclusion that if a little was good;
  more must be better; she had shyly gone into a
  bookstore one day and; with a pink blush; had
  asked for the book。  Since bringing it home she
  had studied assiduously (though never if Bertram
  was near); keeping it well…hidden; when not in
  use; in a remote corner of her desk。
  There was a good deal in the book that Billy
  did not like; and there were some statements that
  worried her; but yet there was much that she
  tried earnestly to follow。  She was still striving
  to be the oak; and she was still eagerly endeavoring
  to brush up against those necessary outside
  interests。  She was so thankful; in this connection;
  for Alice Greggory; and for Arkwright and Hugh
  Calderwell。  It was such a help that she had
  them!  They were not only very pleasant and
  entertaining outside interests; but one or another
  of them was almost always conveniently within
  reach。
  Then; too; it pleased her to think that she was
  furthering the pretty love story between Alice
  and Mr。 Arkwright。  And she _was_ furthering it。
  She was sure of that。  Already she could see how
  dependent the man was on Alice; how he looked
  to her for approbation; and appealed to her on
  all occasions; exactly as if there was not a move
  that he wanted to make without her presence
  near him。  Billy was very sure; now; of Arkwright。
  She only wished she were as much so of Alice。
  But Alice troubled her。  Not but that Alice was
  kindness itself to the man; either。  It was only a
  peculiar something almost like fear; or constraint;
  that Billy thought she saw in Alice's eyes; sometimes;
  when Arkwright made a particularly intimate
  appeal。  There was Calderwell; too。  He;
  also; worried Billy。  She feared he was going to
  complicate matters still more by falling in love
  with Alice; himself; and this; certainly; Billy did
  not want at all。  As this phase of the matter
  presented itself; indeed; Billy determined to
  appropriate Calderwell a little more exclusively to
  herself; when the four were together; thus leaving
  Alice for Arkwright。  After all; it was rather
  entertainingthis playing at Cupid's assistant。
  If she _could_ not have Bertram all the time; it was
  fortunate that these outside interests were so
  pleasurable。
  Most of the mornings Billy spent in the kitchen;
  despite the remonstrances of both Pete and Eliza。
  Almost every meal; now; was graced with a palatable
  cake; pudding; or muffin that Billy would
  proudly claim as her handiwork。  Pete still served
  at table; and made strenuous efforts to keep up
  all his old duties; but he was obviously growing
  weaker; and really serious blunders were beginning
  to be noticeable。  Bertram even hinted once
  or twice that perhaps it would be just as well to
  insist on his going; but to this Billy would not
  give her consent。  Even when one night his poor
  old trembling hands spilled half the contents of
  a soup plate over a new and costly evening gown
  of Billy's own; she still refused to have him dismissed。
  ‘‘Why; Bertram; I wouldn't do it;'' she declared
  hotly; ‘‘and you wouldn't; either。  He's been
  here more than fifty years。  It would break his
  heart。  He's really too ill to work; and I wish he
  would go of his own accord; of course; but I
  sha'n't ever tell him to gonot if he spills soup
  on every dress I've got。  I'll buy moreand more;
  if it's necessary。  Bless his dear old heart!  He
  thinks he's really serving usand he is; too。''
  ‘‘Oh; yes; you're right; he _is!_'' sighed Bertram;
  with meaning emphasis; as he abandoned the
  argument。
  In addition to her ‘‘Talk to Young Wives;''
  Billy found herself encountering advice and comment
  on the marriage question from still other
  quartersfrom her acquaintances (mostly the
  feminine ones) right and left。  Continually she
  was hearing such words as these:
  ‘‘Oh; well; what can you expect; Billy?  You're
  an old married woman; now。''
  ‘‘Never mind; you'll find he's like all the rest
  of the husbands。  You just wait and see!''
  ‘‘Better begin with a high hand; Billy。  Don't
  let him fool you!''
  ‘‘Mercy!  If I had a husband whose business
  it was to look at women's beautiful eyes; peachy
  cheeks; and luxurious tresses; I should go crazy!
  It's hard enough to keep a man's eyes on yourself
  when his daily interests are supposed to be
  just lumps of coal and chunks of ice; without
  flinging him into the very jaws of temptation
  like asking him to paint a pretty girl's picture!''
  In response to all this; of course; Billy could
  but laugh; and blush; and toss back some gay reply;
  with a careless unconcern。  But in her heart
  she did not like it。  Sometimes she told herself
  that if there were not any advice or comment from
  anybodyeither book or womanif there
  were not anybody but just Bertram and herself;
  life would be just one long honeymoon forever
  and forever。
  Once or twice Billy was tempted to go to Marie
  with this honeymoon question; but Marie was
  very busy these days; and very preoccupied。  The
  new house that Cyril was building on Corey Hill;
  not far from the Annex; was almost finished; and
  Marie was immersed in the subject of house…
  furnishings and interior decoration。  She was;
  too; still more deeply engrossed in the fashioning
  of tiny garments of the softest linen; lace; and
  woolen; and there was on her face such a look of
  beatific wonder and joy that Billy did not like to
  so much as hint that there was in the world such
  a book as ‘‘When the Honeymoon Wanes:  A
  Talk to Young Wives。''
  Billy tried valiantly these days not to mind
  that Bertram's work was so absorbing。  She tried
  not to mind that his business dealt; not with
  lumps of coal and chunks of ice; but with beautiful
  women like Marguerite Winthrop who asked
  him to luncheon; and lovely girls like his model
  for ‘‘The Rose'' who came freely to his studio
  and spent hours in the beloved presence; being
  studied for what Bertram declared was absolutely
  the most wonderful poise of head and
  shoulders that he had ever seen。
  Billy tried; also; these days; to so conduct
  herself that not by any chance could Calderwell
  suspect that sometimes she was jealous of Bertram's
  art。  Not for worlds would she have had
  Calderwell begin to get the notion into his head
  that his old…time prophecy concerning Bertram's
  caring only for the turn of a girl's head or the
  tilt of her chinto paint; was being fulfilled。
  Hence; particularly gay and cheerful was Billy
  when Calderwell was near。  Nor could it be said
  that Billy was really unhappy at any time。  It
  was only that; on occasion; the very depth of her
  happiness in Bertram's love frightened her; lest
  it bring disaster to herself or Bertram。
  Billy still went frequently to the Annex。  There
  were yet two unfilled rooms in the house。  Billy
  was hesitating which two of six new friends of
  hers to choose as occupants; and it was one day
  early in March; after she had been talking the
  matter over with Aunt Hannah; that Aunt
  Hannah said:
  ‘‘Dear me; Billy; if you had your way I believe
  you'd open another whole house!''
  ‘‘Do you know?that's just what I'm thinking
  of;'' retorted Billy; gravely。  Then she laughed
  at Aunt Hannah's shocked gesture of protest。
  ‘‘Oh; well; I don't expect to;'' she added。  ‘‘I
  haven't lived very long; but I've lived long enough
  to know that you can't always do what you
  want to。''
  ‘‘Just as if there were anything _you_ wanted to
  do that you don't do; my dear;'' reproved Aunt
  Hannah; mildly。
  ‘‘Yes; I know。''  Billy drew in her breath with
  a little catch。  ‘‘I have so much that is lovely;
  and that's why I need this house; you know; for
  the overflow;'' she nodded brightly。  Then; with
  a characteristic change of subject; she added:
  ‘‘My; but you should have tasted of the popovers
  I made for breakfast this morning!''
  ‘‘I should like to;'' smiled Aunt Hannah。
  ‘‘William says you're getting to be quite a cook。''
  ‘‘Well; maybe;'' conceded Billy; doubtfully。
  ‘‘Oh; I can do some things all right; but just
  wait till Pete and Eliza go away again; and Bertram
  brings home a friend to dinner。  That'll
  tell the tale。  I think now I could have something
  besides potato…mush and burned cornbut
  maybe I wouldn't; when the time came。  If only
  I could buy everything I needed to cook with;
  I'd be all right。  But I can't; I find。''
  ‘‘Can't buy what you ne