第 62 节
作者:蒂帆      更新:2024-04-14 09:15      字数:9321
  need be distressed on my account。 It is all my own fault; I
  taught them to trample upon me。 I loved to have it so。 It is no
  one's affair but mine; man's justice and God's justice have
  nothing to do in it。 God would be unjust if He condemned them for
  anything they may have done to me。 I did not behave to them
  properly; I was stupid enough to resign my rights。 I would have
  humbled myself in the dust for them。 What could you expect? The
  most beautiful nature; the noblest soul; would have been spoiled
  by such indulgence。 I am a wretch; I am justly punished。 I; and I
  only; am to blame for all their sins; I spoiled them。 To…day they
  are as eager for pleasure as they used to be for sugar…plums。
  When they were little girls I indulged them in every whim。 They
  had a carriage of their own when they were fifteen。 They have
  never been crossed。 I am guilty; and not theybut I sinned
  through love。
  〃My heart would open at the sound of their voices。 I can hear
  them; they are coming。 Yes! yes! they are coming。 The law demands
  that they should be present at their father's deathbed; the law
  is on my side。 It would only cost them the hire of a cab。 I would
  pay that。 Write to them; tell them that I have millions to leave
  to them! On my word of honor; yes。 I am going to manufacture
  Italian paste foods at Odessa。 I understand the trade。 There are
  millions to be made in it。 Nobody has thought of the scheme as
  yet。 You see; there will be no waste; no damage in transit; as
  there always is with wheat and flour。 Hey! hey! and starch too;
  there are millions to be made in the starch trade! You will not
  be telling a lie。 Millions; tell them; and even if they really
  come because they covet the money; I would rather let them
  deceive me; and I shall see them in any case。 I want my children!
  I gave them life; they are mine; mine!〃 and he sat upright。 The
  head thus raised; with its scanty white hair; seemed to Eugene
  like a threat; every line that could still speak spoke of menace。
  〃There; there; dear father;〃 said Eugene; 〃lie down again; I will
  write to them at once。 As soon as Bianchon comes back I will go
  for them myself; if they do not come before。〃
  〃If they do not come?〃 repeated the old man; sobbing。 〃Why; I
  shall be dead before then; I shall die in a fit of rage; of rage!
  Anger is getting the better of me。 I can see my whole life at
  this minute。 I have been cheated! They do not love methey have
  never loved me all their lives! It is all clear to me。 They have
  not come; and they will not come。 The longer they put off their
  coming; the less they are likely to give me this joy。 I know
  them。 They have never cared to guess my disappointments; my
  sorrows; my wants; they never cared to know my life; they will
  have no presentiment of my death; they do not even know the
  secret of my tenderness for them。 Yes; I see it all now。 I have
  laid my heart open so often; that they take everything I do for
  them as a matter of course。 They might have asked me for the very
  eyes out of my head and I would have bidden them to pluck them
  out。 They think that all fathers are like theirs。 You should
  always make your value felt。 Their own children will avenge me。
  Why; for their own sakes they should come to me! Make them
  understand that they are laying up retribution for their own
  deathbeds。 All crimes are summed up in this one。 。 。 。 Go to
  them; just tell them that if they stay away it will be parricide!
  There is enough laid to their charge already without adding that
  to the list。 Cry aloud as I do now; 'Nasie! Delphine! here! Come
  to your father; the father who has been so kind to you is lying
  ill!'Not a sound; no one comes! Then am I do die like a dog?
  This is to be my rewardI am forsaken at the last。 They are
  wicked; heartless women; curses on them; I loathe them。 I shall
  rise at night from my grave to curse them again; for; after all;
  my friends; have I done wrong? They are behaving very badly to
  me; eh? 。 。 。 What am I saying? Did you not tell me just now that
  Delphine is in the room? She is more tender…hearted than her
  sister。 。 。 。 Eugene; you are my son; you know。 You will love
  her; be a father to her! Her sister is very unhappy。 And there
  are their fortunes! Ah; God! I am dying; this anguish is almost
  more than I can bear! Cut off my head; leave me nothing but my
  heart。〃
  〃Christophe!〃 shouted Eugene; alarmed by the way in which the old
  man moaned; and by his cries; 〃go for M。 Bianchon; and send a cab
  here for me。I am going to fetch them; dear father; I will bring
  them back to you。〃
  〃Make them come! Compel them to come! Call out the Guard; the
  military; anything and everything; but make them come!〃 He looked
  at Eugene; and a last gleam of intelligence shone in his eyes。
  〃Go to the authorities; to the Public Prosecutor; let them bring
  them here; come they shall!〃
  〃But you have cursed them。〃
  〃Who said that!〃 said the old man in dull amazement。 〃You know
  quite well that I love them; I adore them! I shall be quite well
  again if I can see them。 。 。 。 Go for them; my good neighbor; my
  dear boy; you are kind…hearted; I wish I could repay you for your
  kindness; but I have nothing to give you now; save the blessing
  of a dying man。 Ah! if I could only see Delphine; to tell her to
  pay my debt to you。 If the other cannot come; bring Delphine to
  me at any rate。 Tell her that unless she comes; you will not love
  her any more。 She is so fond of you that she will come to me
  then。 Give me something to drink! There is a fire in my bowels。
  Press something against my forehead! If my daughters would lay
  their hands there; I think I should get better。 。 。 。 MON DIEU!
  who will recover their money for them when I am gone? 。 。 。 I
  will manufacture vermicelli out in Odessa; I will go to Odessa
  for their sakes。〃
  〃Here is something to drink;〃 said Eugene; supporting the dying
  man on his left arm; while he held a cup of tisane to Goriot's
  lips。
  〃How you must love your own father and mother!〃 said the old man;
  and grasped the student's hand in both of his。 It was a feeble;
  trembling grasp。 〃I am going to die; I shall die without seeing
  my daughters; do you understand? To be always thirsting; and
  never to drink; that has been my life for the last ten years。 。 。 。
  I have no daughters; my sons…in…law killed them。 No; since
  their marriages they have been dead to me。 Fathers should
  petition the Chambers to pass a law against marriage。 If you love
  your daughters; do not let them marry。 A son…in…law is a rascal
  who poisons a girl's mind and contaminates her whole nature。 Let
  us have no more marriages! It robs us of our daughters; we are
  left alone upon our deathbeds; and they are not with us then。
  They ought to pass a law for dying fathers。 This is awful! It
  cries for vengeance! They cannot come; because my sons…in…law
  forbid them! 。 。 。 Kill them! 。 。 。 Restaud and the Alsatian;
  kill them both! They have murdered me between them! 。 。 。 Death
  or my daughters! 。 。 。 Ah! it is too late; I am dying; and they
  are not here! 。 。 。 Dying without them! 。 。 。 Nasie! Fifine! Why
  do you not come to me? Your papa is going〃
  〃Dear Father Goriot; calm yourself。 There; there; lie quietly and
  rest; don't worry yourself; don't think。〃
  〃I shall not see them。 Oh! the agony of it!〃
  〃You SHALL see them。〃
  〃Really?〃 cried the old man; still wandering。 〃Oh! shall I see
  them; I shall see them and hear their voices。 I shall die happy。
  Ah! well; after all; I do not wish to live; I cannot stand this
  much longer; this pain that grows worse and worse。 But; oh! to
  see them; to touch their dressesah! nothing but their dresses;
  that is very little; still; to feel something that belongs to
  them。 Let me touch their hair with my fingers 。 。 。 their
  hair 。 。 。〃
  His head fell back on the pillow; as if a sudden heavy blow had
  struck him down; but his hands groped feebly over the quilt; as
  if to find his daughters' hair。
  〃My blessing on them 。 。 。〃 he said; making an effort; 〃my
  blessing 。 。 。〃
  His voice died away。 Just at that moment Bianchon came into the
  room。
  〃I met Christophe;〃 he said; 〃he is gone for your cab。〃
  Then he looked at the patient; and raised the closed eyelids with
  his fingers。 The two students saw how dead and lustreless the
  eyes beneath had grown。
  〃He will not get over this; I am sure;〃 said Bianchon。 He felt
  the old man's pulse; and laid a hand over his heart。
  〃The machinery works still; more is the pity; in his state it
  would be better for him to die。〃
  〃Ah! my word; it would!〃
  〃What is the matter with you? You are as pale as death。〃
  〃Dear fellow; the moans and cries that I have just heard。 。 。 。
  There is a God! Ah! yes; yes; there is a God; and He has made a
  better world for us; or this world of ours would be a nightmare。
  I could have cried like a child; but this is too tragical; and I
  am sick at heart。