第 32 节
作者:青涩春天      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9322
  the accomplished writer; and we have only just learned his fate。
  We are happy to state that it is a comfortable and almost a
  prosperous one。
  The Honorable and Right Reverend Lionel Thistlewood; Lord Bishop of
  Bullocksmithy; was mentioned as the uncle of Lady Angelina
  Silvertop。  Her elopement with her cousin caused deep emotion to
  the venerable prelate: he returned to the palace at Bullocksmithy;
  of which he had been for thirty years the episcopal ornament; and
  where he married three wives; who lie buried in his Cathedral
  Church of St。 Boniface; Bullocksmithy。
  The admirable man has rejoined those whom he loved。  As he was
  preparing a charge to his clergy in his study after dinner; the
  Lord Bishop fell suddenly down in a fit of apoplexy; his butler;
  bringing in his accustomed dish of devilled kidneys for supper;
  discovered the venerable form extended on the Turkey carpet with a
  glass of Madeira in his hand; but life was extinct: and surgical
  aid was therefore not particularly useful。
  All the late prelate's wives had fortunes; which the admirable man
  increased by thrift; the judicious sale of leases which fell in
  during his episcopacy; &c。  He left three hundred thousand pounds
  divided between his nephew and niecenot a greater sum than has
  been left by several deceased Irish prelates。
  What Lord Southdown has done with his share we are not called upon
  to state。  He has composed an epitaph to the Martyr of Bullocksmithy;
  which does him infinite credit。  But we are happy to state that Lady
  Angelina Silvertop presented five hundred pounds to her faithful and
  affectionate servant; Mary Ann Hoggins; on her marriage with Mr。
  James Plush; to whom her Ladyship also made a handsome present
  namely; the lease; good…will; and fixtures of the 〃Wheel of Fortune〃
  public…house; near Shepherd's Market; May Fair: a house greatly
  frequented by all the nobility's footmen; doing a genteel stroke of
  business in the neighborhood; and where; as we have heard; the
  〃Butlers' Club〃 is held。
  Here Mr。 Plush lives happy in a blooming and interesting wife:
  reconciled to a middle sphere of life; as he was to a humbler
  and a higher one before。  He has shaved off his whiskers; and
  accommodates himself to an apron with perfect good humor。  A
  gentleman connected with this establishment dined at the 〃Wheel of
  Fortune〃 the other day; and collected the above particulars。  Mr。
  Plush blushed rather; as he brought in the first dish; and told his
  story very modestly over a pint of excellent port。  He had only one
  thing in life to complain of; he saidthat a witless version of
  his adventures had been produced at the Princess's theatre;
  〃without with your leaf or by your leaf;〃 as he expressed it。  〃Has
  for the rest;〃 the worthy fellow said; 〃I'm appypraps betwixt you
  and me I'm in my proper spear。  I enjy my glass of beer or port
  (with your elth & my suvvice to you; sir;) quite as much as my
  clarrit in my prawsprus days。  I've a good busniss; which is likely
  to be better。  If a man can't be appy with such a wife as my Mary
  Hann; he's a beest: and when a christening takes place in our
  famly; will you give my complments to MR。 PUNCH; and ask him to be
  godfather。〃
  LETTERS OF JEAMES。
  JEAMES ON TIME BARGINGS。
  〃Peraps at this present momink of Railway Hagetation and unsafety
  the follying little istory of a young friend of mine may hact as an
  olesome warning to hother week and hirresolute young gents。
  〃Young Frederick Timmins was the horphan son of a respectable
  cludgyman in the West of Hengland。  Hadopted by his uncle; Colonel
  T; of the Hoss…Mareens; and regardless of expence; this young
  man was sent to Heaton Collidge; and subsiquintly to Hoxford; where
  he was very nearly being Senior Rangler。  He came to London to
  study for the lor。  His prospix was bright indead; and he lived in
  a secknd flore in Jerming Street; having a ginteal inkum of two
  hundred lbs。 per hannum。
  〃With this andsum enuity it may be supposed that Frederick wanted
  for nothink。  Nor did he。  He was a moral and well…educated young
  man; who took care of his close; pollisht his hone tea…party boots;
  cleaned his kidd…gloves with injer rubber; and; when not invited to
  dine out; took his meals reglar at the Hoxford and Cambridge Club
  where (unless somebody treated him) he was never known to igseed
  his alf…pint of Marsally Wine。
  〃Merrits and vuttues such as his coodnt long pass unperseavd in the
  world。  Admitted to the most fashnabble parties; it wasn't long
  befor sevral of the young ladies viewed him with a favorable i;
  one; ixpecially; the lovely Miss Hemily Mulligatawney; daughter of
  the Heast…Injar Derector of that name。  As she was the richest gal
  of all the season; of corse Frederick fell in love with her。  His
  haspirations were on the pint of being crowndid with success; and
  it was agreed that as soon as he was called to the bar; when he
  would sutnly be apinted a Judge; or a revising barrister; or Lord
  Chanslor; he should lead her to the halter。
  〃What life could be more desirable than Frederick's?  He gave up
  his mornings to perfeshnl studdy; under Mr。 Bluebag; the heminent
  pleader; he devoted his hevenings to helegant sosiaty at his Clubb;
  or with his hadord Hemily。  He had no cares; no detts; no
  egstravigancies; he never was known to ride in a cabb; unless one
  of his tip…top friends lent it him; to go to a theayter unless he
  got a horder; or to henter a tavern or smoke a cigar。  If
  prosperraty was hever chocked out; it was for that young man。
  〃But SUCKMSTANCES arose。  Fatle suckmstances for pore Frederick
  Timmins。  The Railway Hoperations began。
  〃For some time; immerst in lor and love; in the hardent hoccupations
  of his cheembers; or the sweet sosiaty of his Hemily; Frederick took
  no note of railroads。  He did not reckonize the jigantic revalution
  which with hiron strides was a walkin over the country。  But they
  began to be talked of even in HIS quiat haunts。 Heven in the Hoxford
  and Cambridge Clubb; fellers were a speculatin。  Tom Thumper (of
  Brasen Nose) cleared four thousand lb。; Bob Bullock (of Hexeter);
  who had lost all his proppaty gambling; had set himself up again;
  and Jack Deuceace; who had won it; had won a small istate besides
  by lucky specklations in the Share Markit。
  〃HEVERY BODY WON。  'Why shouldn't I?' thought pore Fred; and having
  saved 100 lb。; he began a writin for sharesusing; like an
  ickonominicle feller as he was; the Clubb paper to a prodigious
  igstent。  All the Railroad directors; his friends; helped him to
  sharesthe allottments came tumbling inhe took the primmiums by
  fifties and hundreds a day。  His desk was cramd full of bank notes:
  his brane world with igsitement。
  〃He gave up going to the Temple; and might now be seen hall day
  about Capel Court。  He took no more hinterest in lor; but his whole
  talk was of railroad lines。  His desk at Mr。 Bluebag's was filled
  full of prospectisises; and that legal gent wrote to Fred's uncle;
  to say he feared he was neglectin his bisniss。
  〃Alass! he WAS neglectin it; and all his sober and industerous
  habits。  He begann to give dinners; and thought nothin of partys to
  Greenwich or Richmond。  He didn't see his Hemily near so often:
  although the hawdacious and misguided young man might have done so
  much more heasily now than before: for now he kep a Broom!
  〃But there's a tumminus to hevery Railway。  Fred's was approachin:
  in an evil hour he began making TIME…BARGINGS。  Let this be a
  warning to all young fellers; and Fred's huntimely hend hoperate on
  them in a moral pint of vu!
  〃You all know under what favrabble suckemstanses the Great Hafrican
  Line; the Grand Niger Junction; or Gold Coast and Timbuctoo
  (Provishnal) Hatmospheric Railway came out four weeks ago: deposit
  ninepence per share of 20L。 (six elephant's teeth; twelve tons of
  palm…oil; or four healthy niggers; African currency)the shares of
  this helegeble investment rose to 1; 2; 3; in the Markit。  A happy
  man was Fred when; after paying down 100 ninepences (3L。 15s。); he
  sold his shares for 250L。  He gave a dinner at the 'Star and
  Garter' that very day。  I promise you there was no Marsally THERE。
  〃Nex day they were up at 3 1/4。  This put Fred in a rage: they rose
  to 5; he was in a fewry。  'What an ass I was to sell;' said he;
  'when all this money was to be won!'
  〃'And so you WERE an Ass;' said his partiklar friend; Colonel Claw;
  K。X。R。; a director of the line; 'a double…eared Ass。  My dear
  fellow; the shares will be at 15 next week。  Will you give me your
  solemn word of honor not to breathe to mortal man what I am going
  to tell you?'
  〃'Honor bright;' says Fred。
  〃'HUDSON HAS JOINED THE LINE。'  Fred didn't say a word more; but
  went tumbling down to the City in his Broom。  You know the state of
  the streets。  Claw WENT BY WATER。
  〃'Buy me one thousand Hafricans for the 30th;' c