not　take　the　plot　and　act　on　it　yourself。　　You　are　a　known　man；　the
  public　relishes　your　works；　anything　bearing　the　name　of　Snooks　is
  eagerly　read　by　the　masses；　and　though　Messrs。　Hookey；　of　Holywell
  Street；　pay　you　handsomely；　I　make　no　doubt　you　would　like　to　be
  rewarded　at　a　still　higher　figure。
  〃Unless　he　writes　with　a　purpose；　you　know；　a　novelist　in　our　days
  is　good　for　nothing。　　This　one　writes　with　a　socialist　purpose；
  that　with　a　conservative　purpose：　this　author　or　authoress　with　the
  most　delicate　skill　insinuates　Catholicism　into　you；　and　you　find
  yourself　all　but　a　Papist　in　the　third　volume：　another　doctors　you
  with　Low　Church　remedies　to　work　inwardly　upon　you；　and　which　you
  swallow　down　unsuspiciously；　as　children　do　calomel　in　jelly。
  Fiction　advocates　all　sorts　of　truth　and　causesdoesn't　the
  delightful　bard　of　the　Minories　find　Moses　in　everything？　　M。
  Gonzales's　plan；　and　the　one　which　I　recommend　to　my　dear　Snooks；
  simply　was　to　write　an　advertisement　novel。　　Look　over　The　Times　or
  the　'Directory；'　walk　down　Regent　Street　or　Fleet　Street　any　day
  see　what　houses　advertise　most；　and　put　yourself　into　communication
  with　their　proprietors。　　With　your　rings；　your　chains；　your　studs；
  and　the　tip　on　your　chin；　I　don't　know　any　greater　swell　than　Bob
  Snooks。　　Walk　into　the　shops；　I　say；　ask　for　the　principal；　and
  introduce　yourself；　saying；　'I　am　the　great　Snooks；　I　am　the　author
  of　the　〃Mysteries　of　May　Fair；〃　my　weekly　sale　is　281；000；　I　am
  about　to　produce　a　new　work　called　〃The　Palaces　of　Pimlico；　or　the
  Curse　of　the　Court；〃　describing　and　lashing　fearlessly　the　vices　of
  the　aristocracy；　this　book　will　have　a　sale　of　at　least　530；000；　it
  will　be　on　every　tablein　the　boudoir　of　the　pampered　duke；　as　in
  the　chamber　of　the　honest　artisan。　　The　myriads　of　foreigners　who
  are　coming　to　London；　and　are　anxious　to　know　about　our　national
  manners；　will　purchase　my　book；　and　carry　it　to　their　distant
  homes。　　So；　Mr。　Taylor；　or　Mr。　Haberdasher；　or　Mr。　Jeweller；　how
  much　will　you　stand　if　I　recommend　you　in　my　forthcoming　novel？'
  You　may　make　a　noble　income　in　this　way；　Snooks。
  〃For　instance；　suppose　it　is　an　upholsterer。　　What　more　easy；　what
  more　delightful；　than　the　description　of　upholstery？　　As　thus：
  〃'Lady　Emily　was　reclining　on　one　of　Down　and　Eider's　voluptuous
  ottomans；　the　only　couch　on　which　Belgravian　beauty　now　reposes；
  when　Lord　Bathershins　entered；　stepping　noiselessly　over　one　of
  Tomkins's　elastic　Axminster　carpets。　　〃Good　heavens；　my　lord！〃　she
  saidand　the　lovely　creature　fainted。　　The　Earl　rushed　to　the
  mantel…piece；　where　he　saw　a　flacon　of　Otto's　eau…de…Cologne；　and；'
  &c。
  〃Or　say　it's　a　cheap　furniture…shop；　and　it　may　be　brought　in　just
  as　easily；　as　thus：
  〃'We　are　poor；　Eliza；'　said　Harry　Hardhand；　looking　affectionately
  at　his　wife；　'but　we　have　enough；　love；　have　we　not；　for　our　humble
  wants？　　The　rich　and　luxurious　may　go　to　Dillow's　or　Gobiggin's；
  but　we　can　get　our　rooms　comfortably　furnished　at　Timmonson's　for
  20L。'　　And　putting　on　her　bonnet；　and　hanging　affectionately　on　her
  husband；　the　stoker's　pretty　bride　tripped　gayly　to　the　well…known
  mart；　where　Timmonson；　within　his　usual　affability；　was　ready　to
  receive　them。
  〃Then　you　might　have　a　touch　at　the　wine…merchant　and　purveyor。
  'Where　did　you　get　this　delicious　claret；　or　pate　de　fois　gras；　or
  what　you　please？'　said　Count　Blagowski　to　the　gay　young　Sir　Horace
  Swellmore。　　The　voluptuous　Bart　answered；　'At　So…and…So's；　or　So…
  and…So's。'　　The　answer　is　obvious。　　You　may　furnish　your　cellar　or
  your　larder　in　this　way。　　Begad；　Snooks！　　I　lick　my　lips　at　the
  very　idea。
  〃Then；　as　to　tailors；　milliners；　bootmakers；　&c。；　how　easy　to　get　a
  word　for　them！　　Amranson；　the　tailor；　waited　upon　Lord　Paddington
  with　an　assortment　of　his　unrivalled　waistcoats；　or　clad　in　that
  simple　but　aristocratic　style　of　which　Schneider　ALONE　has　the
  secret。　　Parvy　Newcome　really　looked　like　a　gentleman；　and　though
  corpulent　and　crooked；　Schneider　had　managed　to　give　him；　&c。
  Don't　you　see　what　a　stroke　of　business　you　might　do　in　this　way。
  〃The　shoemaker。Lady　Fanny　flew；　rather　than　danced；　across　the
  ball…room；　only　a　Sylphide；　or　Taglioni；　or　a　lady　chausseed　by
  Chevillett　of　Bond　Street　could　move　in　that　fairy　way；　and
  〃The　hairdresser。'Count　Barbarossa　is　seventy　years　of　age；'　said
  the　Earl。　　'I　remember　him　at　the　Congress　of　Vienna；　and　he　has
  not　a　single　gray　hair。'　　Wiggins　laughed。　　'My　good　Lord　Baldock；'
  said　the　old　wag；　'I　saw　Barbarossa's　hair　coming　out　of
  Ducroissant's　shop；　and　under　his　valet's　armho！　ho！　ho！'and
  the　two　bon…vivans　chuckled　as　the　Count　passed　by；　talking　with；
  &c。　&c。
  〃The　gunmaker。'The　antagonists　faced　each　other；　and　undismayed
  before　his　gigantic　enemy；　Kilconnel　raised　his　pistol。　　It　was　one
  of　Clicker's　manufacture；　and　Sir　Marmaduke　knew　he　could　trust　the
  maker　and　the　weapon。　　〃One；　two；　THREE；〃　cried　O'Tool；　and　the　two
  pistols　went　off　at　that　instant；　and　uttering　a　terrific　curse；
  the　Lifeguardsman；'　&c。A　sentence　of　this　nature　from　your　pen；
  my　dear　Snooks；　would；　I　should　think；　bring　a　case　of　pistols　and
  a　double…barrelled　gun　to　your　lodgings；　and；　though　heaven　forbid
  you　should　use　such　weapons；　you　might　sell　them；　you　know；　and　we
  could　make　merry　with　the　proceeds。
  〃If　my　hint　is　of　any　use　to　you；　it　is　quite　at　your　service；　dear
  Snooks；　and　should　anything　come　of　it；　I　hope　you　will　remember
  your　friend。〃
  THE　DIARY　OF　C。　JEAMES　DE　LA　PLUCHE；　ESQ。；
  WITH　HIS　LETTERS。
  A　LUCKY　SPECULATOR。
  〃Considerable　sensation　has　been　excited　in　the　upper　and　lower
  circles　in　the　West　End；　by　a　startling　piece　of　good　fortune　which
  has　befallen　James　Plush；　Esq。；　lately　footman　in　a　respected
  family　in　Berkeley　Square。
  〃One　day　last　week；　Mr。　James　waited　upon　his　master；　who　is　a
  banker　in　the　City；　and　after　a　little　blushing　and　hesitation；
  said　he　had　saved　a　little　money　in　service；　was　anxious　to　retire；
  and　to　invest　his　savings　to　advantage。
  〃His　master　（we　believe　we　may　mention；　without　offending　delicacy；
  the　well…known　name　of　Sir　George　Flimsy；　of　the　house　of　Flimsy；
  Diddler；　and　Flash；）　smilingly　asked　Mr。　James　what　was　the　amount
  of　his　savings；　wondering　considerably　how；　out　of　an　income　of
  thirty　guineasthe　main　part　of　which　he　spent　in　bouquets；　silk
  stockings；　and　perfumeryMr。　Plush　could　have　managed　to　lay　by
  anything。
  〃Mr。　Plush；　with　some　hesitation；　said　he　had　been　SPECULATING　IN
  RAILROADS；　and　stated　his　winnings　to　have　been　thirty　thousand
  pounds。　　He　had　commenced　his　speculations　with　twenty；　borrowed
  from　a　fellow…servant。　　He　had　dated　his　letters　from　the　house　in
  Berkeley　Square；　and　humbly　begged　pardon　of　his　master　for　not
  having　instructed　the　Railway　Secretaries　who　answered　his
  applications　to　apply　at　the　area…bell。
  〃Sir　George；　who　was　at　breakfast；　instantly　rose；　and　shook　Mr。　P。
  by　the　hand；　Lady　Flimsy　begged　him　to　be　seated；　and　partake　of
  the　breakfast　which　he　had　laid　on　the　table；　and　has　subsequently
  invited　him　to　her　grand　dejeuner　at　Richmond；　where　it　was
  observed　that　Miss　Emily　Flimsy；　her　beautiful　and　accomplished
  seventh　daughter；　paid　the　lucky　gentleman　MARKED　ATTENTION。
  〃We　hear　it　stated　that　Mr。　P。　is　of　a　very　ancient　family　（Hugo　de
  la　Pluche　came　over　with　the　Conqueror）；　and　the　new　brougham　which
  he　has　started　bears　the　ancient　coat　of　his　race。
  〃He　has　taken　apartments　in　the　Albany；　and　is　a　director　of
  thirty…three　railroads。　　He　proposes　to　stand　for　Parliament　at　the
  next　general　election　on　decidedly　conservative　principles；　which
  have　always　been　the　politics　of　his　family。
  〃Report　says；　that　even　in　his　humble　capacity　Miss　Emily　Flimsy
  had　remarked　his　high　demeanor。　　Well；　'None　but　the　brave；'　say
  we；　'deserve　the　fair。'〃Morning　Paper。
  This　announcement　will　explain　the　following　lines；　which　have　been
  put　into　our　box*　with　a　West　End　post…mark。　　If；　as　we　believe；
  they　are　written　by　the　young　woman　from　whom　the　Millionnaire
  borrowed　the　sum　on　which　he　raised　his　fortune；　what　heart　will
  not　melt　with　sympathy　at　her　tale；　and　pity　the　sorrows　which　she
  expresses　in　such　artless　language？
  If　it　be　not　too　late；　if　wealth　have　not　rendered　its　possessor
  callous；　if　poor　Maryanne　BE　STILL　ALIVE；　we　trust；　we　trust；　Mr。
  Plush　will　do　her　justice。
  *　The　letter…box　of　Mr。　Punch；　in　whose　columns　these　papers　were
  first　published。
  〃JEAMES　OF　BUCKLEY　SQUARE。
  〃A　HELIGY。
  〃Come　all　ye　gents　vot　cleans　the　plate；
  Come　all　ye　ladies　maids　so　fair
  Vile　I　a　story　vill　relate
  Of　cruel　Jeames　of　Buckley　Square。
  A　tighter　lad；　it　is　confest；
  Neer　valked　with　powder　in　his　air；
  Or　vore　a　nosegay　in　his　breas