Burlesques
  by　William　Makepeace　Thackeray
  CONTENTS
  NOTES　BY　EMINENT　HANDS。
  George　de　Barnwell。　　By　Sir　E。　L。　B。　L。；　Bart。
  Codlingsby。　　By　D。　Shrewsberry；　Esq。
  Phil　Fogarty。　　A　Tale　of　the　Fighting　Onety…Oneth。　　By　Harry
  Rollicker
  Barbazure。　　By　G。　P。　R。　Jeames；　Esq。；　etc。
  Lords　and　Liveries。　　By　the　Authoress　of　〃Dukes　and　Dejeuners；〃
  〃Hearts　and　Diamonds；〃　〃Marchionesses　and　Milliners；〃　etc。；　etc。
  Crinoline。　　By　Je…mes　Pl…sh；　Esq。
  The　Stars　and　Stripes。　　By　the　Author　of　〃The　Last　of　the
  Mulligans；〃　〃Pilot；〃　etc。
  A　Plan　for　a　Prize　Novel
  THE　DIARY　OF　C。　JEAMES　DE　LA　PLUCHE；　ESQ。；　WITH　HIS　LETTERS。
  A　Lucky　Speculator
  The　Diary
  Jeames　on　Time　Bargings
  Jeames　on　the　Gauge　Question
  Mr。　Jeames　Again
  THE　TREMENDOUS　ADVENTURES　OF　MAJOR　GAHAGAN。
  I。　〃Truth　is　Strange；　Stranger　than　Fiction〃
  II。　Allyghur　and　Laswaree
  III。　A　Peep　into　Spain。Account　of　the　Origin　and　Services　of　the
  Ahmednuggar　Irregulars
  IV。　The　Indian　Campthe　Sortie　from　the　Fort
  V。　The　Issue　of　my　Interview　with　my　Wife
  VI。　Famine　in　the　Garrison
  VII。　The　Escape
  VIII。　The　Captive
  IX。　Surprise　of　Futtyghur
  A　LEGEND　OF　THE　RHINE。
  I。　Sir　Ludwig　of　Hombourg
  II。　The　Godesbergers
  III。　The　Festival
  IV。　The　Flight
  V。　The　Traitor's　Doom
  VI。　The　Confession
  VII。　The　Sentence
  VIII。　The　Childe　of　Godesberg
  IX。　The　Lady　of　Windeck
  X。　The　Battle　of　the　Bowmen
  XI。　The　Martyr　of　Love
  XII。　The　Champion
  XIII。　The　Marriage
  REBECCA　AND　ROWENA；　A　ROMANCE　UPON　ROMANCE。
  CHAPTER
  I。　The　OvertureCommencement　of　the　Business
  II。　The　Last　Days　of　the　Lion
  III。　St。　George　for　England
  IV。　Ivanhoe　Redivivus
  V。　Ivanhoe　to　the　Rescue
  VI。　Ivanhoe　the　Widower
  VII。　The　End　of　the　Performance
  THE　HISTORY　OF　THE　NEXT　FRENCH　REVOLUTION。
  I。
  II。　Henry　V。　and　Napoleon　III
  III。　The　Advance　of　the　PretendersHistorical　Review
  IV。　The　Battle　of　Rheims
  V。　The　Battle　of　Tours
  VI。　The　English　under　Jenkins
  VII。　The　Leaguer　of　Paris
  VIII。　The　Battle　of　the　Forts
  IX。　Louis　XVII
  COX'S　DIARY。
  The　Announcement
  First　Rout
  A　Day　with　the　Surrey　Hounds
  The　Finishing　Touch
  A　New　Drop…Scene　at　the　Opera
  Striking　a　Balance
  Down　at　Beulah
  A　Tournament
  Over…Boarded　and　Under…Lodged
  Notice　to　Quit
  Law　Life　Assurance
  Family　Bustle
  NOVELS　BY　EMINENT　HANDS。
  GEORGE　DE　BARNWELL
  BY　SIR　E。　L。　B。　L。；　BART。
  VOL　I。
  In　the　Morning　of　Life　the　Truthful　wooed　the　Beautiful；　and　their
  offspring　was　Love。　　Like　his　Divine　parents；　He　is　eternal。　　He
  has　his　Mother's　ravishing　smile；　his　Father's　steadfast　eyes。　　He
  rises　every　day；　fresh　and　glorious　as　the　untired　Sun…God。　　He　is
  Eros；　the　ever　young。　　Dark；　dark　were　this　world　of　ours　had
  either　Divinity　left　itdark　without　the　day…beams　of　the　Latonian
  Charioteer；　darker　yet　without　the　daedal　Smile　of　the　God　of　the
  Other　Bow！　　Dost　know　him；　reader？
  Old　is　he；　Eros；　the　ever　young。　　He　and　Time　were　children
  together。　　Chronos　shall　die；　too；　but　Love　is　imperishable。
  Brightest　of　the　Divinities；　where　hast　thou　not　been　sung？　　Other
  worships　pass　away；　the　idols　for　whom　pyramids　were　raised　lie　in
  the　desert　crumbling　and　almost　nameless；　the　Olympians　are　fled；
  their　fanes　no　longer　rise　among　the　quivering　olive…groves　of
  Ilissus；　or　crown　the　emerald…islets　of　the　amethyst　Aegean！　　These
  are　gone；　but　thou　remainest。　　There　is　still　a　garland　for　thy
  temple；　a　heifer　for　thy　stone。　　A　heifer？　　Ah；　many　a　darker
  sacrifice。　　Other　blood　is　shed　at　thy　altars；　Remorseless　One；　and
  the　Poet　Priest　who　ministers　at　thy　Shrine　draws　his　auguries　from
  the　bleeding　hearts　of　men！
  While　Love　hath　no　end；　Can　the　Bard　ever　cease　singing？　　In　Kingly
  and　Heroic　ages；　'twas　of　Kings　and　Heroes　that　the　Poet　spake。
  But　in　these；　our　times；　the　Artisan　hath　his　voice　as　well　as　the
  Monarch。　　The　people　To…Day　is　King；　and　we　chronicle　his　woes；　as
  They　of　old　did　the　sacrifice　of　the　princely　Iphigenia；　or　the
  fate　of　the　crowned　Agamemnon。
  Is　Odysseus　less　august　in　his　rags　than　in　his　purple？　　Fate；
  Passion；　Mystery；　the　Victim；　the　Avenger；　the　Hate　that　harms；　the
  Furies　that　tear；　the　Love　that　bleeds；　are　not　these　with　us
  Still？　are　not　these　still　the　weapons　of　the　Artist？　the　colors　of
  his　palette？　the　chords　of　his　lyre？　　Listen！　　I　tell　thee　a　tale
  not　of　Kingsbut　of　Mennot　of　Thrones；　but　of　Love；　and　Grief；
  and　Crime。　　Listen；　and　but　once　more。　　'Tis　for　the　last　time
  （probably）　these　fingers　shall　sweep　the　strings。
  E。　L。　B。　L。
  NOONDAY　IN　CHEPE。
  'Twas　noonday　in　Chepe。　　High　Tide　in　the　mighty　River　City！its
  banks　wellnigh　overflowing　with　the　myriad…waved　Stream　of　Man！
  The　toppling　wains；　bearing　the　produce　of　a　thousand　marts；　the
  gilded　equipage　of　the　Millionary；　the　humbler；　but　yet　larger
  vehicle　from　the　green　metropolitan　suburbs　（the　Hanging　Gardens　of
  our　Babylon）；　in　which　every　traveller　might；　for　a　modest
  remuneration；　take　a　republican　seat；　the　mercenary　caroche；　with
  its　private　freight；　the　brisk　curricle　of　the　letter…carrier；
  robed　in　royal　scarlet：　these　and　a　thousand　others　were　laboring
  and　pressing　onward；　and　locked　and　bound　and　hustling　together　in
  the　narrow　channel　of　Chepe。　　The　imprecations　of　the　charioteers
  were　terrible。　　From　the　noble's　broidered　hammer…cloth；　or　the
  driving…seat　of　the　common　coach；　each　driver　assailed　the　other
  with　floods　of　ribald　satire。　　The　pavid　matron　within　the　one
  vehicle　（speeding　to　the　Bank　for　her　semestrial　pittance）　shrieked
  and　trembled；　the　angry　Dives　hastening　to　his　office　（to　add
  another　thousand　to　his　heap；）　thrust　his　head　over　the　blazoned
  panels；　and　displayed　an　eloquence　of　objurgation　which　his　very
  Menials　could　not　equal；　the　dauntless　street　urchins；　as　they
  gayly　threaded　the　Labyrinth　of　Life；　enjoyed　the　perplexities　and
  quarrels　of　the　scene；　and　exacerbated　the　already　furious
  combatants　by　their　poignant　infantile　satire。　　And　the
  Philosopher；　as　he　regarded　the　hot　strife　and　struggle　of　these
  Candidates　in　the　race　for　Gold；　thought　with　a　sigh　of　the
  Truthful　and　the　Beautiful；　and　walked　on；　melancholy　and　serene。
  'Twas　noon　in　Chepe。　　The　ware…rooms　were　thronged。　　The　flaunting
  windows　of　the　mercers　attracted　many　a　purchaser：　the　glittering
  panes　behind　which　Birmingham　had　glazed　its　simulated　silver；
  induced　rustics　to　pause：　although　only　noon；　the　savory　odors　of
  the　Cook　Shops　tempted　the　over　hungry　citizen　to　the　bun　of　Bath；
  or　to　the　fragrant　potage　that　mocks　the　turtle's　flavorthe
  turtle！　　O　dapibus　suprimi　grata　testudo　Jovis！　　I　am　an　Alderman
  when　I　think　of　thee！　　Well：　it　was　noon　in　Chepe。
  But　were　all　battling　for　gain　there？　　Among　the　many　brilliant
  shops　whose　casements　shone　upon　Chepe；　there　stood　one　a　century
  back　（about　which　period　our　tale　opens）　devoted　to　the　sale　of
  Colonial　produce。　　A　rudely　carved　image　of　a　negro；　with　a
  fantastic　plume　and　apron　of　variegated　feathers；　decorated　the
  lintel。　　The　East　and　West　had　sent　their　contributions　to
  replenish　the　window。
  The　poor　slave　had　toiled；　died　perhaps；　to　produce　yon　pyramid　of
  swarthy　sugar　marked　〃ONLY　6　1/2d。〃That　catty　box；　on　which　was
  the　epigraph　〃STRONG　FAMILY　CONGO　ONLY　3s。　9d；〃　was　from　the
  country　of　Confutzeethat　heap　of　dark　produce　bore　the　legend
  〃TRY　OUR　REAL　NUT〃'Twas　Cocoaand　that　nut　the　Cocoa…nut；　whose
  milk　has　refreshed　the　traveller　and　perplexed　the　natural
  philosopher。　　The　shop　in　question　was；　in　a　word；　a　Grocer's。
  In　the　midst　of　the　shop　and　its　gorgeous　contents　sat　one　who；　to
  judge　from　his　appearance　（though　'twas　a　difficult　task；　as；　in
  sooth；　his　back　was　turned）；　had　just　reached　that　happy　period　of
  life　when　the　Boy　is　expanding　into　the　Man。　　O　Youth；　Youth！
  Happy　and　Beautiful！　　O　fresh　and　roseate　dawn　of　life；　when　the
  dew　yet　lies　on　the　flowers；　ere　they　have　been　scorched　and
  withered　by　Passion's　fiery　Sun！　　Immersed　in　thought　or　study；　and
  indifferent　to　the　din　around　him；　sat　the　boy。　　A　careless
  guardian　was　he　of　the　treasures　confided　to　him。　　The　crowd　passed
  in　Chepe；　he　never　marked　it。　　The　sun　shone　on　Chepe；　he　only
  asked　that　it　should　illumine　the　page　he　read。　　The　knave　might
  filch　his　treasures；　he　was　heedless　of　the　knave。　　The　customer
  might　enter；　but　his　book　was　all　in　all　to　him。
  And　indeed　a　customer　WAS　there；　a　little　hand　was　tapping　on　the
  counter　with　a　pretty　impatience；　a　pair　of　arch　eyes　were　gazing
  at　the　boy；　adm