第 147 节
作者:
温暖寒冬 更新:2024-04-09 19:50 字数:9163
the great change that had come since the day when she had looked
up at the tall man in the cottage。 There was a trembling in her
clear voice as she put her hand into his and said; “Be comforted;
Adam Bede; the Lord has not forsaken her。”
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“Bless you for coming to her;” Adam said。 “Mr。 Massey brought
me word yesterday as you was come。”
They could neither of them say any more just yet; but stood
before each other in silence; and Bartle Massey; too; who had put
on his spectacles; seemed transfixed; examining Dinah’s face。 But
he recovered himself first; and said; “Sit down; young woman; sit
down;” placing the chair for her and retiring to his old seat on the
bed。
“Thank you; friend; I won’t sit down;” said Dinah; “for I must
hasten back。 She entreated me not to stay long away。 What I came
for; Adam Bede; was to pray you to go and see the poor sinner and
bid her farewell。 She desires to ask your forgiveness; and it is meet
you should see her to…day; rather than in the early morning; when
the time will be short。”
Adam stood trembling; and at last sank down on his chair
again。
“It won’t be;” he said; “it’ll be put off—there’ll perhaps come a
pardon。 Mr。 Irwine said there was hope。 He said; I needn’t quite
give it up。”
“That’s a blessed thought to me;” said Dinah; her eyes filling
with tears。 “It’s a fearful thing hurrying her soul away so fast。”
“But let what will be;” she added presently。 “You will surely
come; and let her speak the words that are in her heart。 Although
her poor soul is very dark and discerns little beyond the things of
the flesh; she is no longer hard。 She is contrite; she has confessed
all to me。 The pride of her heart has given way; and she leans on
me for help and desires to be taught。 This fills me with trust; for I
cannot but think that the brethren sometimes err in measuring
the Divine love by the sinner’s knowledge。 She is going to write a
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letter to the friends at the Hall Farm for me to give them when she
is gone; and when I told her you were here; she said; ‘I should like
to say good…bye to Adam and ask him to forgive me。’ You will
come; Adam? Perhaps you will even now come back with me。”
“I can’t;” Adam said。 “I can’t say good…bye while there’s any
hope。 I’m listening; and listening—I can’t think o’ nothing but that。
It can’t be as she’ll die that shameful death—I can’t bring my mind
to it。”
He got up from his chair again and looked away out of the
window; while Dinah stood with compassionate patience。 In a
minute or two he turned round and said;
“I will come; Dinah 。 。 。 to…morrow morning 。 。 。 if it must be。 I
may have more strength to bear it; if I know it must be。 Tell her; I
forgive her; tell her I will come—at the very last。”
“I will not urge you against the voice of your own heart;” said
Dinah。 “I must hasten back to her; for it is wonderful how she
clings now; and was not willing to let me out of her sight。 She used
never to make any return to my affection before; but now
tribulation has opened her heart。 Farewell; Adam。 Our heavenly
Father comfort you and strengthen you to bear all things。” Dinah
put out her hand; and Adam pressed it in silence。
Bartle Massey was getting up to lift the stiff latch of the door for
her; but before he could reach it; she had said gently; “Farewell;
friend;” and was gone; with her light step down the stairs。
“Well;” said Bartle; taking off his spectacles and putting them
into his pocket; “if there must be women to make trouble in the
world; it’s but fair there should be women to be comforters under
it; and she’s one—she’s one。 It’s a pity she’s a Methodist; but
there’s no getting a woman without some foolishness or other。”
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Adam never went to bed that night。 The excitement of
suspense; heightening with every hour that brought him nearer
the fatal moment; was too great; and in spite of his entreaties; in
spite of his promises that he would be perfectly quiet; the
schoolmaster watched too。
“What does it matter to me; lad?” Bartle said: “a night’s sleep
more or less? I shall sleep long enough; by and by; underground。
Let me keep thee company in trouble while I can。”
It was a long and dreary night in that small chamber。 Adam
would sometimes get up and tread backwards and forwards along
the short space from wall to wall; then he would sit down and hide
his face; and no sound would be heard but the ticking of the watch
on the table; or the falling of a cinder from the fire which the
schoolmaster carefully tended。 Sometimes he would burst out into
vehement speech; “If I could ha’ done anything to save her—if my
bearing anything would ha’ done any good 。 。 。 but t’ have to sit
still; and know it; and do nothing 。 。 。 it’s hard for a man to bear 。 。 。
and to think o’ what might ha’ been now; if it hadn’t been for him 。
。 。 O God; it’s the very day we should ha’ been married。”
“Aye; my lad;” said Bartle tenderly; “it’s heavy—it’s heavy。 But
you must remember this: when you thought of marrying her; you’d
a notion she’d got another sort of a nature inside her。 You didn’t
think she could have got hardened in that little while to do what
she’s done。”
“I know—I know that;” said Adam。 “I thought she was loving
and tender…hearted; and wouldn’t tell a lie; or act deceitful。 How
could I think any other way? And if he’d never come near her; and
I’d married her; and been loving to her; and took care of her; she
might never ha’ done anything bad。 What would it ha’ signified—
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my having a bit o’ trouble with her? It ’ud ha’ been nothing to
this。”
“There’s no knowing; my lad—there’s no knowing what might
have come。 The smart’s bad for you to bear now: you must have
time—you must have time。 But I’ve that opinion of you; that you’ll
rise above it all and be a man again; and there may good come out
of this that we don’t see。”
“Good come out of it!” said Adam passionately。 “That doesn’t
alter th’ evil: her ruin can’t be undone。 I hate that talk o’ people; as
if there was a way o’ making amends for everything。 They’d more
need be brought to see as the wrong they do can never be altered。
When a man’s spoiled his fellow…creatur’s life; he’s no right to
comfort himself with thinking good may come out of it。 Somebody
else’s good doesn’t alter her shame and misery。”
“Well; lad; well;” said Bartle; in a gentle tone; strangely in
contrast with his usual peremptoriness and impatience of
contradiction; “it’s likely enough I talk foolishness。 I’m an old
fellow; and it’s a good many years since I was in trouble myself。
It’s easy finding reasons why other folks should be patient。”
“Mr。 Massey;” said Adam penitently; “I’m very hot and hasty。 I
owe you something different; but you mustn’t take it ill of me。”
“Not I; lad—not I。”
So the night wore on in agitation till the chill dawn and the
growing light brought the tremulous quiet that comes on the brink
of despair。 There would soon be no more suspense。
“Let us go to the prison now; Mr。 Massey;” said Adam; when he
saw the hand of his watch at six。 “If there’s any news come; we
shall hear about it。?