第 122 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9283
  had about the house—they’re all honest folks in the north。”
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 495…
  Adam Bede                                       495
  “I   never    saw   a  prettier    young    woman      in   my   life;”  said   the
  husband。   “She’s   like   a   pictur   in   a   shop…winder。   It   goes   to   one’s
  ’eart to look at her。”
  “It ’ud have been a good deal better for her if she’d been uglier
  and had more conduct;” said the landlady; who on any charitable
  construction   must   have   been   supposed   to   have   more   “conduct”
  than     beauty。    “But    she’s   coming     to  again。    Fetch    a  drop    more
  water。”
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 496…
  Adam Bede                                   496
  Chapter XXXVII
  The Journey in Despair
  etty    was   too  ill  through   the  rest  of  that   day   for  any
  Hquestions   to   be   addressed   to   her—too   ill   even   to   think
  with any distinctness of the evils that were to come。 She
  only felt that all her hope was crushed; and that instead of having
  found     a  refuge   she   had    only   reached    the   borders    of  a  new
  wilderness where no goal lay before her。 The sensations of bodily
  sickness; in a comfortable bed; and with the tendance of the good…
  natured landlady; made a sort of respite for her; such a respite as
  there    is  in  the  faint  weariness    which    obliges   a  man    to  throw
  himself on the sand instead of toiling onward under the scorching
  sun。
  But     when    sleep   and    rest  had    brought    back    the   strength
  necessary for the keenness of mental suffering—when she lay the
  next morning looking at the growing light which was like a cruel
  task…master   returning   to   urge   from   her   a   fresh   round   of   hated
  hopeless labour—she began to think what course she must take; to
  remember that all her money was gone; to look at the prospect of
  further  wandering  among  strangers   with  the   new  clearness   shed
  on it by the experience of her journey to Windsor。 But which way
  could she turn? It was impossible for her to enter into any service;
  even    if  she  could   obtain   it。  There   was   nothing   but   immediate
  beggary before her。 She thought of a young woman who had been
  found   against   the   church   wall   at   Hayslope    one   Sunday;    nearly
  dead with cold and hunger—a tiny infant in her arms。 The woman
  George Eliot                                                     ElecBook Classics
  … Page 497…
  Adam Bede                                       497
  was     rescued     and   taken    to  the   parish。    “The    parish!”    You    can
  perhaps hardly understand the effect of that word on a mind like
  Hetty’s;   brought   up   among   people   who   were   somewhat   hard   in
  their   feelings   even   towards   poverty;   who   lived   among   the   fields;
  and had little pity for want and rags as a cruel inevitable fate such
  as they sometimes seem in cities; but held them a mark of idleness
  and   vice—and   it   was   idleness   and   vice   that   brought   burdens   on
  the    parish。    To   Hetty    the   “parish”     was    next   to  the   prison    in
  obloquy; and to ask anything of strangers—to beg—lay in the same
  far…off hideous region of intolerable shame that Hetty had all her
  life thought it impossible she could ever come near。 But now the
  remembrance          of   that   wretched      woman       whom      she   had    seen
  herself; on her way from church; being carried into Joshua Rann’s;
  came   back   upon   her   with   the   new   terrible   sense   that   there   was
  very little now to  divide  her  from   the   same  lot。   And  the dread   of
  bodily  hardship   mingled   with  the   dread   of   shame;   for   Hetty   had
  the luxurious nature of a round soft…coated pet animal。
  How she yearned to be back in her safe home again; cherished
  and cared for as she had always been! Her aunt’s scolding  about
  trifles would have been music to her ears now;   she   longed   for  it;
  she   used   to   hear   it   in   a   time   when   she   had   only   trifles   to   hide。
  Could she be the same Hetty  that  used   to  make   up  the   butter  in
  the dairy with the gueldre roses peeping in at the window—she; a
  runaway  whom   her  friends   would not  open   their   doors   to   again;
  lying   in   this   strange   bed;   with   the   knowledge       that   she  had   no
  money       to  pay    for   what    she    received;    and    must     offer   those
  strangers      some    of  the   clothes    in  her   basket?     It  was   then   she
  thought of her locket and ear…rings; and seeing her pocket lie near;
  she   reached   it   and   spread   the   contents   on   the   bed   before   her。
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 498…
  Adam Bede                                      498
  There were the locket and ear…rings in the little velvet…lined boxes;
  and  with   them   there   was   a   beautiful   silver   thimble   which  Adam
  had bought her; the words “Remember me” making the ornament
  of the border; a steel purse; with her one shilling in it; and a small
  red…leather case; fastening with a strap。 Those beautiful little ear…
  rings; with their delicate pearls and   garnet;   that  she   had  tried in
  her  ears   with  such  longing  in   the  bright  sunshine   on   the  30th   of
  July! She had no  longing  to  put  them   in   her  ears now:   her  head
  with its dark rings of hair lay back languidly on the pillow; and the
  sadness   that   rested   about   her   brow   and   eyes   was   something   too
  hard for regretful memory。 Yet she put her hands up to her ears: it
  was because there were some thin gold rings in them; which were
  also  worth  a   little   money。   Yes;   she   could   surely   get   some   money
  for  her  ornaments:   those Arthur  had   given   her  must  have  cost   a
  great deal of money。 The landlord and landlady had been good to
  her;    perhaps     they   would    help   her   to  get   the   money     for  these
  things。
  But  this   money  would not  keep   her long。 What  should   she   do
  when it was gone? Where should she go? The horrible thought of
  want  and beggary  drove   her  once   to  think she   would   go  back   to
  her uncle and aunt and ask them to forgive her and have pity on
  her。    But   she   shrank     from   that   idea   again;   as   she   might    have
  shrunk from scorching metal。 She could never endure that shame
  before her uncle and aunt; before Mary Burge; and the servants at
  the  Chase;  and   the  people at  Broxton;   and   everybody   who   knew
  her。   They   should   never   know   what   had   happened   to   her。   What
  could she do? She would go away from Windsor—travel again as
  she   had   done   the   last   week;   and   get   among   the   flat   green   fields
  with the high hedges round them; where nobody could see her or
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 499…
  Adam Bede                                       499
  know   her;   and   there;   perhaps;   when   there   was   nothing   else   she
  could do;   she   should   get  courage   to  drown   herself  in   some   pond
  like that in the Scantlands。 Yes; she would get away from Windsor
  as soon as possible: she didn’t like these people at the inn to know
  about     her;   to   know     that   she   had    come     to   look   for   Captain
  Donnithorne。 She must think of some reason to tell them why she
  had asked for him。
  With   this   thought   she   began   to   put   the   things   back   into   her
  pocket; meaning to get up and dress before the landlady came to
  her。 She had her hand on the red…leather case; when it occurred to
  her   that   there   might   be   something   in   this   case      which   she    had
  forgotten—something worth selling; for without knowing what she
  should do with her life; she craved the means of living as long as
  possible; and when we desire eagerly to find something; we are apt
  to   search   for   it  in  hopeless     places。   No;   there   was    nothing   but
  common        needles    and    pins;   and   dried    tulip…petals    between      the
  paper      leaves    where    she    had    written    down     her   little  money…
  accounts。   But   on   one   of   th