第 93 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9260
  him away。 That pale look came upon Arthur like the beginning of
  a dull pain; which clung to him; though he must dance and smile
  and joke all the same。 Hetty would look so; when he told her what
  he   had   to   tell   her;   and   he   should   never   be   able   to   bear   it—he
  should   be   a   fool   and   give   way   again。   Hetty’s   look   did   not   really
  mean   so   much   as   he   thought:   it   was   only   the   sign   of   a   struggle
  between   the   desire   for   him   to   notice   her   and   the   dread   lest   she
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 375…
  Adam Bede                                      375
  should betray the desire to others。 But Hetty’s face had a language
  that    transcended       her   feelings。    There    are   faces    which    nature
  charges   with   a   meaning   and   pathos   not   belonging   to   the   single
  human soul that flutters beneath them; but speaking the joys and
  sorrows of foregone generations—eyes that tell of deep love which
  doubtless   has  been   and  is somewhere;   but not   paired   with   these
  eyes—perhaps paired with pale eyes that can say nothing; just as a
  national   language   may  be   instinct   with   poetry   unfelt   by   the   lips
  that   use   it。   That   look   of   Hetty’s   oppressed   Arthur   with   a   dread
  which   yet   had   something   of   a   terrible   unconfessed   delight   in   it;
  that she loved him too well。 There was a hard task before him; for
  at that moment he felt he would have given up three years of his
  youth for the happiness of abandoning himself without remorse to
  his passion for Hetty。
  These   were   the   incongruous   thoughts   in   his   mind   as   he   led
  Mrs。 Poyser; who was panting with fatigue; and secretly resolving
  that   neither   judge   nor   jury   should      force   her   to  dance   another
  dance; to take a quiet rest in the dining…room; where supper was
  laid out for the guests to come and take it as they chose。
  “I’ve desired Hetty to remember as she’s got to dance wi’ you;
  sir;”   said   the  good    innocent     woman;      “for  she’s   so  thoughtless;
  she’d be like enough to go an’ engage herself for ivery dance。 So I
  told her not to promise too many。”
  “Thank   you;   Mrs。   Poyser;”   said   Arthur;   not   without   a   twinge。
  “Now; sit down in this comfortable chair; and here is Mills ready
  to give you what you would like best。”
  He    hurried    away   to   seek   another   matronly   partner;        for  due
  honour must be paid to the married women before he asked any of
  the   young   ones;   and   the   country…dances;   and   the   stamping;   and
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 376…
  Adam Bede                                       376
  the    gracious     nodding;     and   the   waving     of  the   hands;     went    on
  joyously。
  At last the time had come for the fourth dance—longed for  by
  the strong; grave Adam; as if he had been a delicate…handed youth
  of eighteen; for we are all very much alike when we are in our first
  love;   and   Adam   had   hardly   ever   touched   Hetty’s   hand   for   more
  than   a   transient   greeting—had   never   danced   with   her   but   once
  before。     His   eyes   had    followed    her   eagerly    to…night    in   spite  of
  himself; and had taken in deeper draughts of love。 He thought she
  behaved so prettily; so quietly; she did not seem to be flirting at all
  she smiled less than usual; there was almost a sweet sadness about
  her。 “God bless her!” he said inwardly; “I’d make her life a happy
  ’un; if a strong arm to work for her; and a heart to love her; could
  do it。”
  And   then   there   stole   over   him   delicious      thoughts     of   coming
  home   from   work;   and   drawing   Hetty   to   his   side;   and   feeling   her
  cheek softly pressed against his; till   he  forgot  where  he  was;   and
  the music and the tread of feet might have been the falling of rain
  and the roaring of the wind; for what he knew。
  But now the third dance was ended; and he might go up to her
  and  claim   her   hand。  She   was   at   the   far   end   of   the   hall   near   the
  staircase; whispering with Molly; who had just given the sleeping
  Totty   into   her   arms   before   running   to   fetch   shawls   and   bonnets
  from   the   landing。   Mrs。   Poyser  had   taken   the   two  boys   away  into
  the dining…room to give them some cake before they went home in
  the    cart   with   Grandfather       and   Molly    was    to  follow   as   fast  as
  possible。
  “Let  me   hold   her;”   said   Adam;   as   Molly   turned   upstairs;   “the
  children are so heavy when they’re asleep。”
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 377…
  Adam Bede                                      377
  Hetty   was     glad   of   the  relief;  for  to  hold  Totty    in  her   arms;
  standing; was not at all a pleasant variety to her。 But this second
  transfer had the unfortunate effect of rousing Totty; who was not
  behind   any   child   of   her   age   in   peevishness   at   an   unseasonable
  awaking。   While   Hetty   was        in  the  act   of   placing   her   in   Adam’s
  arms; and had not yet withdrawn her own; Totty opened her eyes;
  and forthwith fought out with her left fist at Adam’s arm; and with
  her right caught at the string of brown beads round Hetty’s neck。
  The   locket   leaped   out   from   her   frock;   and   the   next   moment   the
  string    was    broken;    and    Hetty;   helpless;    saw    beads    and   locket
  scattered wide on the floor。
  “My locket; my locket!” she said; in a loud frightened whisper to
  Adam; “never mind the beads。”
  Adam      had    already     seen   where     the   locket    fell;  for  it  had
  attracted his glance as it leaped out of her frock。 It had fallen on
  the raised wooden dais where the band sat; not on the stone floor;
  and as Adam picked it up; he saw the glass with the dark and light
  locks of hair under it。 It had fallen that side upwards; so the glass
  was     not  broken。     He   turned    it  over   on   his  hand;    and   saw    the
  enamelled gold back。
  “It   isn’t   hurt;”   he   said;   as   he   held   it   towards   Hetty;   who   was
  unable     to  take   it  because     both   her   hands    were    occupied     with
  Totty。
  “Oh; it doesn’t matter; I   don’t  mind about  it;”   said   Hetty;   who
  had been pale and was now red。
  “Not      matter?”      said    Adam;      gravely。     “You     seemed      very
  frightened      about   it。  I’ll  hold   it   till  you’re  ready  to  take  it;”  he
  added; quietly closing his hand over it; that she might not think he
  wanted to look at it again。
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 378…
  Adam Bede                                      378
  By   this   time   Molly   had   come   with   bonnet   and   shawl;   and   as
  soon   as   she   had   taken   Totty;   Adam   placed   the   locket   in   Hetty’s
  hand。   She   took   it   with   an   air   of   indifference   and   put   it   in   her
  pocket; in her heart vexed and angry with Adam because he had
  seen it; but determined now that she would show no more signs of
  agitation。
  “See;” she said; “they’re taking their places to dance; let us go。”
  Adam assented silently。 A puzzled alarm had taken possession
  of   him。   Had   Hetty   a   lover   he   didn’t   know   of?   For   none   of   her
  relations; he was sure; would give her a locket like that; and none
  of her admirers; with whom he was acquainted; was in the position
  of an accepted lover; as the giver of that locket must be。 Adam was
  lost in the utter impossibility of finding any person for his fears to
  alight  on。  He  could   only   feel   with   a   terrible   pang   that   there   was
  something in Hetty’s life unknown to him; that while he had been
  rocking himself in the hope that she would come to love him; she
  was already loving another。 The pleasure of the dance with Hetty
  was     gone;   his  eyes;   when     they   rested    on   her;   had   an   uneasy
  questioning expression in them; he could think of nothing to say to
  her; and she too was out of temper and disinclined to speak。 They
  were both glad when the dance was ended。
  Adam   was   determined   to   stay   no  longer;   no   one   wanted   him;
  and no one would notice if he s