第 72 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9234
  signify what he said; since Hetty seemed to feel as much as he did;
  “let me pick the currants up。”
  That was soon done; for they had only fallen in a tangled mass
  on   the   grass…plot;   and   Adam;   as   he   rose   and   gave   her   the   basin
  again; looked straight into her eyes with the   subdued  tenderness
  that belongs to the first moments of hopeful love。
  Hetty did not turn away her eyes; her blush had subsided; and
  she   met   his   glance   with   a   quiet   sadness;   which   contented   Adam
  because it was so unlike anything he had seen in her before。
  “There’s not many more currants to get;” she said; “I shall soon
  ha’ done now。”
  “I’ll   help   you;”   said   Adam;   and   he   fetched   the  large   basket;
  which was nearly full of currants; and set it close to them。
  Not   a   word   more   was   spoken   as   they   gathered   the   currants。
  Adam’s heart was too full to speak; and he thought Hetty knew all
  that was in it。 She was not indifferent to his presence after all; she
  had blushed when she saw him; and then there was that touch of
  sadness about her which must surely mean love; since it was the
  opposite of her usual manner; which had often impressed him as
  indifference。 And   he   could   glance   at   her   continually   as   she   bent
  over the fruit; while the level evening sunbeams stole through the
  thick apple…tree boughs; and rested on her round cheek and neck
  as if they too were in love with her。 It was to Adam the time that a
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  man   can least  forget  in   after…life;   the   time   when   he   believes   that
  the first woman he has ever loved betrays by a slight something—a
  word; a tone; a glance; the quivering of a lip or an eyelid—that she
  is at least beginning to love him in return。 The sign is so slight; it is
  scarcely perceptible to the ear or eye—he could describe   it  to  no
  one—it is a mere feather…touch; yet it seems to have changed   his
  whole being; to have merged an uneasy yearning into a delicious
  unconsciousness of everything but the present moment。 So much
  of  our  early  gladness   vanishes   utterly   from   our   memory:   we   can
  never recall the joy with which we laid our heads on our mother’s
  bosom   or  rode   on   our   father’s   back   in   childhood。   Doubtless   that
  joy   is   wrought   up   into   our   nature;   as   the   sunlight   of   long…past
  mornings is wrought up in the soft mellowness of the apricot; but
  it is gone for ever from our imagination; and we can only believe in
  the joy of childhood。 But the first glad moment in our first love is a
  vision which returns to us to the last; and brings with it a thrill of
  feeling intense   and   special   as   the   recurrent   sensation   of   a   sweet
  odour breathed in a far…off hour of happiness。 It is a memory that
  gives a more exquisite touch to tenderness; that feeds the madness
  of jealousy and adds the last keenness to the agony of despair。
  Hetty bending over the red bunches; the level rays piercing the
  screen   of apple…tree   boughs;   the   length  of   bushy   garden   beyond;
  his   own   emotion   as   he   looked   at   her   and   believed   that   she   was
  thinking   of   him;   and   that   there   was   no   need   for   them   to   talk—
  Adam remembered it all to the last moment of his life。
  And     Hetty?    You    know    quite   well   that   Adam     was    mistaken
  about her。 Like many other men; he thought the signs of love for
  another      were    signs   of  love   towards     himself。   When      Adam     was
  approaching unseen by her; she was absorbed as usual in thinking
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  and wondering about Arthur’s possible return。   The   sound   of  any
  man’s footstep would have affected her just in the same way—she
  would have felt  it might be Arthur before she had time to see; and
  the     blood    that    forsook     her   cheek     in   the    agitation     of   that
  momentary  feeling  would   have   rushed back again at  the   sight  of
  any   one   else   just   as   much   as   at   the   sight   of   Adam。   He   was   not
  wrong      in   thinking     that   a   change     had    come     over    Hetty:    the
  anxieties      and    fears    of  a   first  passion;     with    which     she    was
  trembling; had become stronger than vanity; had given her for the
  first  time   that   sense   of   helpless   dependence   on   another’s   feeling
  which awakens the clinging deprecating  womanhood   even  in  the
  shallowest   girl   that   can   ever   experience   it;   and   creates   in   her   a
  sensibility to kindness which found her quite hard before。 For the
  first   time   Hetty   felt   that   there   was   something   soothing   to   her   in
  Adam’s   timid       yet   manly   tenderness。   She       wanted     to   be  treated
  lovingly—oh;        it  was   very    hard    to  bear    this  blank    of   absence;
  silence;     apparent     indifference;     after   those    moments      of   glowing
  love!   She   was   not   afraid   that   Adam   would   tease   her   with   love…
  making   and   flattering   speeches   like   her   other   admirers;   he   had
  always been so reserved to her; she could enjoy without any fear
  the sense that this strong brave man loved her and was near her。
  It  never  entered   into  her  mind   that  Adam   was   pitiable   too—that
  Adam too must suffer one day。
  Hetty;   we   know;   was   not   the      first   woman     that   had   behaved
  more   gently   to   the   man   who   loved   her   in   vain   because   she   had
  herself  begun  to  love  another。   It  was a   very  old   story;   but  Adam
  knew nothing about it; so he drank in the sweet delusion。
  “That’ll do;” said Hetty; after a little while。 “Aunt wants me to
  leave some on the trees。 I’ll take ’em in now。”
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  “It’s very well I came to carry the basket;” said Adam “for it ’ud
  ha’ been too heavy for your little arms。”
  “No; I could ha’ carried it with both hands。”
  “Oh; I daresay;” said Adam; smiling; “and been as long getting
  into the house as a little ant carrying a caterpillar。 Have you ever
  seen     those   tiny   fellows    carrying     things    four   times    as  big   as
  themselves?”
  “No;”     said    Hetty;    indifferently;     not    caring    to   know      the
  difficulties of ant life。
  “Oh; I used to watch ’em often when I was a lad。 But now; you
  see;   I   can   carry   the   basket   with   one   arm;   as   if   it   was   an   empty
  nutshell; and give you th’ other arm to lean on。 Won’t you? Such
  big arms as mine were made for little arms like yours to lean on。”
  Hetty smiled faintly and put her arm   within   his。 Adam looked
  down at her; but her eyes were turned dreamily towards another
  corner of the garden。
  “Have   you   ever   been   to   Eagledale?”   she   said;   as   they   walked
  slowly along。
  “Yes;”   said   Adam;   pleased   to   have   her   ask   a   question   about
  himself。 “Ten years ago; when I was a lad; I went with father to see
  about   some   work   there。   It’s   a   wonderful   sight—rocks   and   caves
  such  as   you never  saw  in   your  life。   I never  had   a   right   notion   o’
  rocks till I went there。”
  “How long did it take to get there?”
  “Why;   it   took   us   the   best   part   o’   two   days’   walking。   But   it’s
  nothing of a day’s journey for anybody as has got a first…rate nag。
  The captain ’ud get there in nine or ten hours; I’ll be bound; he’s
  such a rider。 And I shouldn’t wonder if he’s back again to…morrow;
  he’s too active to rest long in that lonely place; all by himself; for
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  there’s   nothing  but  a  bit  of  a   inn   i’   that   part   where   he’s   gone   to
  fish。   I   wish  he’d   got  th’   estate   in   his   hands;   that  ’ud be   the   right
  thing for him; for it ’ud give him plenty to do; and he’d do ’t well
  too;   for   all   he’s   so   young;   he’s   got   better   notions   o’   things   than
  man