第 19 节
作者:闲来一看      更新:2024-01-16 22:40      字数:9322
  him; who; having deprived me of every other comfort; no longer thinks it
  worth his while to sooth the heart where he has planted the thorn of never…
  ceasing regret。 My daily employment is to think of you and weep; to pray
  for your happiness and deplore my own folly: my nights are scarce more
  happy;   for   if   by   chance   I   close   my   weary   eyes;   and   hope   some   small
  forgetfulness of sorrow; some little time to pass in sweet oblivion; fancy;
  still waking; wafts me home to you: I see your beloved forms; I kneel and
  hear the blessed words of peace and pardon。 Extatic joy pervades my soul;
  I   reach   my   arms   to   catch   your   dear   embraces;   the   motion   chases   the
  illusive dream; I wake to real misery。 At other times I see my father angry
  and frowning; point to horrid caves; where; on the cold damp ground; in
  the agonies of death; I see my dear mother and my revered grand…father。 I
  strive to raise you; you push me from you; and shrieking cry〃Charlotte;
  thou hast murdered me!〃 Horror and despair tear every tortured nerve; I
  start; and leave my restless bed; weary and unrefreshed。
  〃Shocking as these reflexions are; I have yet one more dreadful than
  the   rest。   Mother;   my   dear   mother!   do   not   let   me   quite   break   your   heart
  when I tell you; in a few months I shall bring into the world an innocent
  witness   of   my   guilt。   Oh   my   bleeding   heart;   I   shall   bring   a   poor   little
  helpless creature; heir to infamy and shame。
  〃This alone has urged me once more to address you; to interest you in
  behalf of this poor unborn; and beg you to extend your protection to the
  child   of   your   lost   Charlotte;   for   my   own   part   I   have   wrote   so   often;   so
  frequently have pleaded for forgiveness; and entreated to be received once
  more beneath the paternal roof; that having received no answer; not even
  one line; I much fear you have cast me from you for ever。
  〃But sure you cannot refuse to protect my innocent infant: it partakes
  not of its mother's guilt。 Oh my father; oh beloved mother; now do I feel
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  the anguish I inflicted on your hearts recoiling with double force upon my
  own。
  〃If   my   child   should   be   a  girl  (which   heaven    forbid)   tell  her  the
  unhappy  fate   of   her   mother;   and   teach   her   to   avoid   my   errors;   if   a   boy;
  teach him to lament my miseries; but tell him not who inflicted them; lest
  in wishing to revenge his mother's injuries; he should wound the peace of
  his father。
  〃And   now;   dear   friends   of   my   soul;   kind   guardians   of   my   infancy;
  farewell。 I feel I never more must hope to see you; the anguish of my heart
  strikes at the strings of life; and in a short time I shall be at rest。 Oh could I
  but receive your blessing and forgiveness before I died; it would smooth
  my passage to the peaceful grave; and be a blessed foretaste of a   happy
  eternity。 I beseech you; curse me not; my adored parents; but let a tear of
  pity and pardon fall to the memory of your lost CHARLOTTE。
  CHAPTER XXIII。
  A MAN MAY SMILE; AND SMILE; AND BE A VILLAIN。
  WHILE Charlotte was enjoying some small degree of comfort in the
  consoling     friendship    of  Mrs。    Beauchamp;      Montraville     was    advancing
  rapidly in his affection towards Miss Franklin。 Julia was an amiable girl;
  she saw only the fair side of his character; she possessed an independent
  fortune; and resolved to be happy with   the man of her heart; though his
  rank and fortune were by no means so exalted as she had a right to expect;
  she saw the passion which Montraville struggled to conceal; she wondered
  at his timidity; but imagined the distance fortune had placed between them
  occasioned      his   backwardness;      and   made     every   advance     which    strict
  prudence   and   a   becoming   modesty   would   permit。   Montraville   saw   with
  pleasure     he  was   not   indifferent   to  her;  but  a  spark   of  honour    which
  animated      his  bosom     would    not  suffer   him   to  take   advantage     of  her
  partiality。   He   was    well   acquainted    with   Charlotte's    situation;   and   he
  thought there would be a double cruelty in forsaking her at such a time;
  and   to   marry   Miss   Franklin;   while   honour;   humanity;   every   sacred   law;
  obliged him still to protect and support Charlotte; was a baseness which
  his soul shuddered at。
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  He communicated his uneasiness to Belcour: it was the very thing this
  pretended   friend      had   wished。    〃And    do   you   really;〃  said   he;  laughing;
  〃hesitate at marrying the lovely Julia; and becoming master of her fortune;
  because a little foolish; fond girl chose to leave her friends; and run away
  with you to America。 Dear Montraville; act more like a man of sense; this
  whining; pining Charlotte; who occasions you so much uneasiness; would
  have eloped with somebody else if she had not with you。〃
  〃Would to heaven;〃 said Montraville; 〃I had never seen her; my regard
  for her was but the momentary passion of desire; but I feel I shall love and
  revere Julia Franklin as long as I live; yet to leave poor Charlotte in her
  present situation would be cruel beyond description。〃
  〃Oh   my  good   sentimental   friend;〃 said   Belcour;  〃do   you   imagine   no
  body has a right to provide for the brat but yourself。〃
  Montraville started。 〃Sure;〃 said he; 〃you cannot mean to insinuate that
  Charlotte is false。〃
  〃I don't insinuate it;〃 said Belcour; 〃I know it。〃
  Montraville turned pale as ashes。 〃Then there is no faith in woman;〃
  said he。
  〃While   I   thought   you   attached   to   her;〃   said   Belcour   with   an   air   of
  indifference;     〃I  never    wished    to  make    you   uneasy   by   mentioning       her
  perfidy; but as I know you love and are beloved by Miss Franklin; I was
  determined not   to   let   these  foolish   scruples   of   honour step   between   you
  and happiness; or your tenderness for the peace of a perfidious girl prevent
  your uniting yourself to a woman of honour。〃
  〃Good heavens!〃 said Montraville; 〃what poignant reflections does a
  man endure who sees a lovely woman plunged in infamy; and is conscious
  he was her first seducer; but are you certain of what you say; Belcour?〃
  〃So   far;〃   replied he;   〃that   I   myself   have   received   advances   from  her
  which   I   would   not   take   advantage   of   out   of   regard   to   you:   but   hang   it;
  think no more about her。 I dined at Franklin's to…day; and Julia bid me seek
  and     bring   you    to  tea:  so   come     along;   my    lad;  make     good    use   of
  opportunity;   and   seize   the   gifts   of   fortune   while   they   are   within   your
  reach。〃 Montraville was too much agitated to pass a happy evening even in
  the company of Julia Franklin: he determined to visit Charlotte early the
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  next morning; tax her with her falsehood; and take an everlasting leave of
  her; but when the morning came; he was commanded on duty; and for six
  weeks was   prevented from  putting   his design  in   execution。 At length he
  found an hour to spare; and walked out to spend it with Charlotte: it was
  near four o'clock in the afternoon when he arrived at her cottage; she was
  not   in   the   parlour;   and   without   calling   the   servant   he   walked   up   stairs;
  thinking   to   find   her   in   her   bed   room。   He   opened   the   door;   and   the   first
  object that met his eyes was Charlotte asleep on the bed; and Belcour by
  her side。
  〃Death   and   distraction;〃   said   he;   stamping;   〃this   is   too   much。   Rise;
  villain;   and   defend   yourself。〃   Belcour   sprang   from   the   bed。   The   noise
  awoke   Charlotte;   terrified   at   the   furious   appearance   of   Montraville;   and
  seeing Belcour with him in the chamber; she caught hold of his arm as he
  stood by the bed…side; and eagerly asked what was the matter。
  〃Treacherous;   infamous   girl;〃   said   he;   〃can   you   ask?   How   came   he
  here?〃 pointing to Belcour。
  〃As heaven is my witness;〃 replied she weeping; 'I do not know。 I have
  not seen him for these three weeks。〃
  〃Then you confess he sometimes visits you?〃
  〃He came sometimes by your desire。〃
  〃'Tis false; I never desired him to come; and you know I did not: but
  m