第 82 节
作者:津鸿一瞥      更新:2023-08-28 11:48      字数:9321
  her lips again; I saw no mark on it。 I held it closer and closer。
  I dulled it accidentally with my own breath; and cleaned it。 I
  held it over her again。 Oh; Mary; Mary; the doctor was right! I
  ought to have only thought of you in heaven!
  Dead; without a word; without a signwithout even a look to tell
  the true story of the blow that killed her! I could not call to
  anybody; I could not cry; I could not so much as put the glass
  down and give her a kiss for the last time。 I don't know how long
  I had sat there with my eyes burning; and my hands deadly cold;
  when Sally came in with the shoes cleaned; and carried carefully
  in her apron for fear of a soil touching them。 At the sight of
  that
  I can write no more。 My tears drop so fast on the paper that I
  can see nothing。
  March 12th。 She died on the afternoon of the eighth。 On the
  morning of the ninth; I wrote; as in duty bound; to her
  stepmother at Hammersmith。 There was no answer。 I wrote again; my
  letter was returned to me this morning unopened。 For all that
  woman cares; Mary might be buried with a pauper's funeral; but
  this shall never be; if I pawn everything about me; down to the
  very gown that is on my back。 The bare thought of Mary being
  buried by the workhouse gave me the spirit to dry my eyes; and go
  to the undertaker's; and tell him how I was placed。 I said if he
  would get me an estimate of all that would have to be paid; from
  first to last; for the cheapest decent funeral that could be had;
  I would undertake to raise the money。 He gave me the estimate;
  written in this way; like a common bill:
  A walking funeral complete。。。。。。。。。。。。Pounds 1 13 8
  Vestry。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  4 4
  Rector。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  4 4
  Clerk。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  1 0
  Sexton。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  1 0
  Beadle。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  1 0
  Bell。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  1 0
  Six feet of ground。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0  2 0
  Total                                 Pounds 2  8 4
  If I had the heart to give any thought to it; I should be
  inclined to wish that the Church could afford to do without so
  many small charges for burying poor people; to whose friends even
  shillings are of consequence。 But it is useless to complain; the
  money must be raised at once。 The charitable doctora poor man
  himself; or he would not be living in our neighborhoodhas
  subscribed ten shillings toward the expenses; and the coroner;
  when the inquest was over; added five more。 Perhaps others may
  assist me。 If not; I have fortunately clothes and furniture of my
  own to pawn。 And I must set about parting with them without
  delay; for the funeral is to be to…morrow; the thirteenth。
  The funeralMary's funeral! It is well that the straits and
  difficulties I am in keep my mind on the stretch。 If I had
  leisure to grieve; where should I find the courage to face
  to…morrow?
  Thank God they did not want me at the inquest。 The verdict given;
  with the doctor; the policeman; and two persons from the place
  where she worked; for witnesses; was Accidental Death。 The end of
  the cravat was produced; and the coroner said that it was
  certainly enough to suggest suspicion; but the jury; in the
  absence of any positive evidence; held to the doctor's notion
  that she had fainted and fallen down; and so got the blow on her
  temple。 They reproved the people where Mary worked for letting
  her go home alone; without so much as a drop of brandy to support
  her; after she had fallen into a swoon from exhaustion before
  their eyes。 The coroner added; on his own account; that he
  thought the reproof was thoroughly deserved。 After that; the
  cravat…end was given back to me by my own desire; the police
  saying that they could make no investigations with such a slight
  clew to guide them。 They may think so; and the coroner; and
  doctor; and jury may
  think so; but; in spite of all that has passed; I am now more
  firmly persuaded than ever that there is some dreadful mystery in
  connection with that blow on my poor lost Mary's temple which has
  yet to be revealed; and which may come to be discovered through
  this very fragment of a cravat that I found in her hand。 I cannot
  give any good reason for why I think so; but I know that if I had
  been one of the jury at the inquest; nothing should have induced
  me to consent to such a verdict as Accidental Death。
  After I had pawned my things; and had begged a small advance of
  wages at the place where I work to make up what was still wanting
  to pay for Mary's funeral; I thought I might have had a little
  quiet time to prepare myself as I best could for to…morrow。 But
  this was not to be。 When I got home the landlord met me in the
  passage。 He was in liquor; and more brutal and pitiless in his
  way of looking and speaking than ever I saw him before。
  〃So you're going to be fool enough to pay for her funeral; are
  you?〃 were his first words to me。
  I was too weary and heart…sick to answer; I only tried to get by
  him to my own door。
  〃If you can pay for burying her;〃 he went on; putting himself in
  front of me; 〃you can pay her lawful debts。 She owes me three
  weeks' rent。 Suppose you raise the money for that next; and hand
  it over to me? I'm not joking; I can promise you。 I mean to have
  my rent; and; if somebody don't pay it; I'll have her body seized
  and sent to the workhouse!〃
  Between terror and disgust; I thought I should have dropped to
  the floor at his feet。 But I determined not to let him see how he
  had horrified me; if I could possibly control myself。 So I
  mustered resolution enough to answer that I did not believe the
  law gave him any such wicked power over the dead。
  〃I'll teach you what the law is!〃 he broke in; 〃you'll raise
  money to bury her like a born lady; when she's died in my debt;
  will you? And you think I'll let my rights be trampled upon like
  that; do you? See if I do! I'll give you till to…night to think
  about it。 If I don't have the three weeks she owes before
  to…morrow; dead or alive; she shall go to the workhouse!〃
  This time I managed to push by him; and get to my own room; and
  lock the door in his face。 As soon as I was alone I fell into a
  breathless; suffocating fit of crying that seemed to be shaking
  me to pieces。 But there was no good and no help in tears; I did
  my best to calm myself after a little while; and tried to think
  who I should run to for help and protection。
  The doctor was the first friend I thought of; but I knew he was
  always out seeing his patients of an afternoon。 The beadle was
  the next person who came into my head。 He had the look of being a
  very dignified; unapproachable kind of man when he came about the
  inquest; but he talked to me a little then; and said I was a good
  girl; and seemed; I really thought; to pity me。 So to him I
  determined to apply in my great danger and distress。
  Most fortunately; I found him at home。 When I told him of the
  landlord's infamous threats; and of the misery I was suffering in
  consequence of them; he rose up with a stamp of his foot; and
  sent for his gold…laced cocked hat that he wears on Sundays; and
  his long cane with the ivory top to it。
  〃I'll give it to him;〃 said the beadle。 〃Come along with me; my
  dear。 I think I told you you were a good girl at the inquestif
  I didn't; I tell you so now。 I'll give it to him! Come along with
  me。〃
  And he went out; striding on with his cocked hat and his great
  cane; and I followed him。
  〃Landlord!〃 he cries; the moment he gets into the passage; with a
  thump of his cane on the floor; 〃landlord!〃 with a look all round
  him as if he was King of England calling to a beast; 〃come out!〃
  The moment the landlord came out and saw who it was; his eye
  fixed on the cocked hat; and he turned as pale as ashes。
  〃How dare you frighten this poor girl?〃 says the beadle。 〃How
  dare you bully her at this sorrowful time with threatening to do
  what you know you can't do? How dare you be a cowardly; bullying;
  braggadocio of an unmanly landlord? Don't talk to me: I won't
  hear you。 I'll pull you up; sir。 If you say another word to the
  young woman; I'll pull you up before the authorities of this
  metropolitan parish。 I've had my eye on you; and the authorities
  have had their eye on you; and the rector has had his eye on you。
  We don't like the look of your small shop round the corner; we
  don't like the look of some of the customers who deal at it; we
  don't like disorderly characters; and we don't by any manner of
  means like you。 Go away。 Leave the young woman alone。 Hold your
  tongue; or I'll pull you up。 If he says another word; or
  interferes with you again; my dear; come and tell me; and; as
  sure as he's a bullying; unmanly; braggadocio of a landlord; I'll
  pull him up。〃
  With those words the beadle gave a loud cough to clear his
  throat; and another thump of his cane on the floor; and so went
  striding out again before I could open my lips to thank him。 The
  landlord slunk back into his room without a word。 I was left
  alone and unmolested at last; to strengthen myself for the hard
  trial of my poor love's funeral