第 82 节
作者:
津鸿一瞥 更新:2023-08-28 11:48 字数:9321
her lips again; I saw no mark on it。 I held it closer and closer。
I dulled it accidentally with my own breath; and cleaned it。 I
held it over her again。 Oh; Mary; Mary; the doctor was right! I
ought to have only thought of you in heaven!
Dead; without a word; without a signwithout even a look to tell
the true story of the blow that killed her! I could not call to
anybody; I could not cry; I could not so much as put the glass
down and give her a kiss for the last time。 I don't know how long
I had sat there with my eyes burning; and my hands deadly cold;
when Sally came in with the shoes cleaned; and carried carefully
in her apron for fear of a soil touching them。 At the sight of
that
I can write no more。 My tears drop so fast on the paper that I
can see nothing。
March 12th。 She died on the afternoon of the eighth。 On the
morning of the ninth; I wrote; as in duty bound; to her
stepmother at Hammersmith。 There was no answer。 I wrote again; my
letter was returned to me this morning unopened。 For all that
woman cares; Mary might be buried with a pauper's funeral; but
this shall never be; if I pawn everything about me; down to the
very gown that is on my back。 The bare thought of Mary being
buried by the workhouse gave me the spirit to dry my eyes; and go
to the undertaker's; and tell him how I was placed。 I said if he
would get me an estimate of all that would have to be paid; from
first to last; for the cheapest decent funeral that could be had;
I would undertake to raise the money。 He gave me the estimate;
written in this way; like a common bill:
A walking funeral complete。。。。。。。。。。。。Pounds 1 13 8
Vestry。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 4 4
Rector。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 4 4
Clerk。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 1 0
Sexton。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 1 0
Beadle。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 1 0
Bell。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 1 0
Six feet of ground。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。0 2 0
Total Pounds 2 8 4
If I had the heart to give any thought to it; I should be
inclined to wish that the Church could afford to do without so
many small charges for burying poor people; to whose friends even
shillings are of consequence。 But it is useless to complain; the
money must be raised at once。 The charitable doctora poor man
himself; or he would not be living in our neighborhoodhas
subscribed ten shillings toward the expenses; and the coroner;
when the inquest was over; added five more。 Perhaps others may
assist me。 If not; I have fortunately clothes and furniture of my
own to pawn。 And I must set about parting with them without
delay; for the funeral is to be to…morrow; the thirteenth。
The funeralMary's funeral! It is well that the straits and
difficulties I am in keep my mind on the stretch。 If I had
leisure to grieve; where should I find the courage to face
to…morrow?
Thank God they did not want me at the inquest。 The verdict given;
with the doctor; the policeman; and two persons from the place
where she worked; for witnesses; was Accidental Death。 The end of
the cravat was produced; and the coroner said that it was
certainly enough to suggest suspicion; but the jury; in the
absence of any positive evidence; held to the doctor's notion
that she had fainted and fallen down; and so got the blow on her
temple。 They reproved the people where Mary worked for letting
her go home alone; without so much as a drop of brandy to support
her; after she had fallen into a swoon from exhaustion before
their eyes。 The coroner added; on his own account; that he
thought the reproof was thoroughly deserved。 After that; the
cravat…end was given back to me by my own desire; the police
saying that they could make no investigations with such a slight
clew to guide them。 They may think so; and the coroner; and
doctor; and jury may
think so; but; in spite of all that has passed; I am now more
firmly persuaded than ever that there is some dreadful mystery in
connection with that blow on my poor lost Mary's temple which has
yet to be revealed; and which may come to be discovered through
this very fragment of a cravat that I found in her hand。 I cannot
give any good reason for why I think so; but I know that if I had
been one of the jury at the inquest; nothing should have induced
me to consent to such a verdict as Accidental Death。
After I had pawned my things; and had begged a small advance of
wages at the place where I work to make up what was still wanting
to pay for Mary's funeral; I thought I might have had a little
quiet time to prepare myself as I best could for to…morrow。 But
this was not to be。 When I got home the landlord met me in the
passage。 He was in liquor; and more brutal and pitiless in his
way of looking and speaking than ever I saw him before。
〃So you're going to be fool enough to pay for her funeral; are
you?〃 were his first words to me。
I was too weary and heart…sick to answer; I only tried to get by
him to my own door。
〃If you can pay for burying her;〃 he went on; putting himself in
front of me; 〃you can pay her lawful debts。 She owes me three
weeks' rent。 Suppose you raise the money for that next; and hand
it over to me? I'm not joking; I can promise you。 I mean to have
my rent; and; if somebody don't pay it; I'll have her body seized
and sent to the workhouse!〃
Between terror and disgust; I thought I should have dropped to
the floor at his feet。 But I determined not to let him see how he
had horrified me; if I could possibly control myself。 So I
mustered resolution enough to answer that I did not believe the
law gave him any such wicked power over the dead。
〃I'll teach you what the law is!〃 he broke in; 〃you'll raise
money to bury her like a born lady; when she's died in my debt;
will you? And you think I'll let my rights be trampled upon like
that; do you? See if I do! I'll give you till to…night to think
about it。 If I don't have the three weeks she owes before
to…morrow; dead or alive; she shall go to the workhouse!〃
This time I managed to push by him; and get to my own room; and
lock the door in his face。 As soon as I was alone I fell into a
breathless; suffocating fit of crying that seemed to be shaking
me to pieces。 But there was no good and no help in tears; I did
my best to calm myself after a little while; and tried to think
who I should run to for help and protection。
The doctor was the first friend I thought of; but I knew he was
always out seeing his patients of an afternoon。 The beadle was
the next person who came into my head。 He had the look of being a
very dignified; unapproachable kind of man when he came about the
inquest; but he talked to me a little then; and said I was a good
girl; and seemed; I really thought; to pity me。 So to him I
determined to apply in my great danger and distress。
Most fortunately; I found him at home。 When I told him of the
landlord's infamous threats; and of the misery I was suffering in
consequence of them; he rose up with a stamp of his foot; and
sent for his gold…laced cocked hat that he wears on Sundays; and
his long cane with the ivory top to it。
〃I'll give it to him;〃 said the beadle。 〃Come along with me; my
dear。 I think I told you you were a good girl at the inquestif
I didn't; I tell you so now。 I'll give it to him! Come along with
me。〃
And he went out; striding on with his cocked hat and his great
cane; and I followed him。
〃Landlord!〃 he cries; the moment he gets into the passage; with a
thump of his cane on the floor; 〃landlord!〃 with a look all round
him as if he was King of England calling to a beast; 〃come out!〃
The moment the landlord came out and saw who it was; his eye
fixed on the cocked hat; and he turned as pale as ashes。
〃How dare you frighten this poor girl?〃 says the beadle。 〃How
dare you bully her at this sorrowful time with threatening to do
what you know you can't do? How dare you be a cowardly; bullying;
braggadocio of an unmanly landlord? Don't talk to me: I won't
hear you。 I'll pull you up; sir。 If you say another word to the
young woman; I'll pull you up before the authorities of this
metropolitan parish。 I've had my eye on you; and the authorities
have had their eye on you; and the rector has had his eye on you。
We don't like the look of your small shop round the corner; we
don't like the look of some of the customers who deal at it; we
don't like disorderly characters; and we don't by any manner of
means like you。 Go away。 Leave the young woman alone。 Hold your
tongue; or I'll pull you up。 If he says another word; or
interferes with you again; my dear; come and tell me; and; as
sure as he's a bullying; unmanly; braggadocio of a landlord; I'll
pull him up。〃
With those words the beadle gave a loud cough to clear his
throat; and another thump of his cane on the floor; and so went
striding out again before I could open my lips to thank him。 The
landlord slunk back into his room without a word。 I was left
alone and unmolested at last; to strengthen myself for the hard
trial of my poor love's funeral