第 8 节
作者:
生在秋天 更新:2023-05-17 13:24 字数:9320
have to carry the machine bodily。 The air at the top of the hill will do it
good; and it will suddenly come right again。 Going downhill it will start
reflecting what a nuisance it has been。 This will lead to remorse; and
finally to despair。 It will say to itself: 'I'm not fit to be a brake。 I don't
help these fellows; I only hinder them。 I'm a curse; that's what I am;' and;
without a word of warning; it will 'chuck' the whole business。 That is what
that brake will do。 Leave it alone。 You are a good fellow;〃 I continued;
〃but you have one fault。〃
〃What?〃 he asked; indignantly。
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〃You have too much faith;〃 I answered。 〃If you read an
advertisement; you go away and believe it。 Every experiment that every
fool has thought of in connection with cycling you have tried。 Your
guardian angel appears to be a capable and conscientious spirit; and
hitherto she has seen you through; take my advice and don't try her too far。
She must have had a busy time since you started cycling。 Don't go on till
you make her mad。〃
He said: 〃If every man talked like that there would be no
advancement made in any department of life。 If nobody ever tried a new
thing the world would come to a standstill。 It is by〃
〃I know all that can be said on that side of the argument;〃 I interrupted。
〃I agree in trying new experiments up to thirty…five; AFTER thirty…five I
consider a man is entitled to think of himself。 You and I have done our
duty in this direction; you especially。 You have been blown up by a patent
gas lamp〃
He said: 〃I really think; you know; that was my fault; I think I must
have screwed it up too tight。〃
I said: 〃I am quite willing to believe that if there was a wrong way of
handling the thing that is the way you handle it。 You should take that
tendency of yours into consideration; it bears upon the argument。 Myself;
I did not notice what you did; I only know we were riding peacefully and
pleasantly along the Whitby Road; discussing the Thirty Years' War; when
your lamp went off like a pistol…shot。 The start sent me into the ditch;
and your wife's face; when I told her there was nothing the matter and that
she was not to worry; because the two men would carry you upstairs; and
the doctor would be round in a minute bringing the nurse with him; still
lingers in my memory。〃
He said: 〃I wish you had thought to pick up the lamp。 I should like
to have found out what was the cause of its going off like that。〃
I said: 〃There was not time to pick up the lamp。 I calculate it
would have taken two hours to have collected it。 As to its 'going off;' the
mere fact of its being advertised as the safest lamp ever invented would of
itself; to anyone but you; have suggested accident。 Then there was that
electric lamp;〃 I continued。
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〃Well; that really did give a fine light;〃 he replied; 〃you said so
yourself。〃
I said: 〃It gave a brilliant light in the King's Road; Brighton; and
frightened a horse。 The moment we got into the dark beyond Kemp
Town it went out; and you were summoned for riding without a light。
You may remember that on sunny afternoons you used to ride about with
that lamp shining for all it was worth。 When lighting… up time came it
was naturally tired; and wanted a rest。〃
〃It was a bit irritating; that lamp;〃 he murmured; 〃I remember it。〃
I said: 〃It irritated me; it must have been worse for you。 Then there
are saddles;〃 I went onI wished to get this lesson home to him。 〃Can
you think of any saddle ever advertised that you have NOT tried?〃
He said: 〃It has been an idea of mine that the right saddle is to be
found。〃
I said: 〃You give up that idea; this is an imperfect world of joy and
sorrow mingled。 There may be a better land where bicycle saddles
are made out of rainbow; stuffed with cloud; in this world the simplest
thing is to get used to something hard。 There was that saddle you bought
in Birmingham; it was divided in the middle; and looked like a pair of
kidneys。〃
He said: 〃You mean that one constructed on anatomical principles。〃
〃Very likely;〃 I replied。 〃The box you bought it in had a picture on
the cover; representing a sitting skeletonor rather that part of a skeleton
which does sit。〃
He said: 〃It was quite correct; it showed you the true position of the…
…〃
I said: 〃We will not go into details; the picture always seemed to me
indelicate。〃
He said: 〃Medically speaking; it was right。〃
〃Possibly;〃 I said; 〃for a man who rode in nothing but his bones。 I only
know that I tried it myself; and that to a man who wore flesh it was agony。
Every time you went over a stone or a rut it nipped you; it was like riding
on an irritable lobster。 You rode that for a month。〃
〃I thought it only right to give it a fair trial;〃 he answered。
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I said: 〃You gave your family a fair trial also; if you will allow me
the use of slang。 Your wife told me that never in the whole course of
your married life had she known you so bad tempered; so un…Christian like;
as you were that month。 Then you remember that other saddle; the one
with the spring under it。〃
He said: 〃You mean 'the Spiral。'〃
I said: 〃I mean the one that jerked you up and down like a Jack… in…
the…box; sometimes you came down again in the right place; and
sometimes you didn't。 I am not referring to these matters merely to recall
painful memories; but I want to impress you with the folly of trying
experiments at your time of life。〃
He said。 〃I wish you wouldn't harp so much on my age。 A man at
thirty…four〃
〃A man at what?〃
He said: 〃If you don't want the thing; don't have it。 If your machine
runs away with you down a mountain; and you and George get flung
through a church roof; don't blame me。〃
〃I cannot promise for George;〃 I said; 〃a little thing will sometimes
irritate him; as you know。 If such an accident as you suggest happen; he
may be cross; but I will undertake to explain to him that it was not your
fault。〃
〃Is the thing all right?〃 he asked。
〃The tandem;〃 I replied; 〃is well。〃
He said: 〃Have you overhauled it?〃
I said: 〃I have not; nor is anyone else going to overhaul it。 The
thing is now in working order; and it is going to remain in working order
till we start。〃
I have had experience of this 〃overhauling。〃 There was a man at
Folkestone; I used to meet him on the Lees。 He proposed one evening
we should go for a long bicycle ride together on the following day; and I
agreed。 I got up early; for me; I made an effort; and was pleased with
myself。 He came half an hour late: I was waiting for him in the garden。
It was a lovely day。 He said:…
〃That's a good…looking machine of yours。 How does it run?〃
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〃Oh; like most of them!〃 I answered; 〃easily enough in the morning;
goes a little stiffly after lunch。〃
He caught hold of it by the front wheel and the fork and shook it
violently。
I said: 〃Don't do that; you'll hurt it。〃
I did not see why he should shake it; it had not done anything to him。
Besides; if it wanted shaking; I was the proper person to shake it。 I felt
much as I should had he started whacking my dog。
He said: 〃This front wheel wobbles。〃
I said: 〃It doesn't if you don't wobble it。〃 It didn't