第 40 节
作者:独来读网      更新:2022-11-28 19:18      字数:9322
  the incidents of her evening journey; and the former assumed a more
  distinct shape in her mind's eye than anything on the visible side
  of the curtain。
  Neigh was perhaps not quite so placidly nonchalant as in ordinary;
  still; he was by far the most trying visitor that Ethelberta had
  lately faced; and she could not get above the stagenot a very high
  one for the mistress of a houseof feeling her personality to be
  inconveniently in the way of his eyes。  He had somewhat the bearing
  of a man who was going to do without any fuss what gushing people
  would call a philanthropic action。
  'I have been intending to write a line to you;' said Neigh; 'but I
  felt that I could not be sure of writing my meaning in a way which
  might please you。  I am not bright at a letternever was。  The
  question I mean is one that I hope you will be disposed to answer
  favourably; even though I may show the awkwardness of a fellow…
  person who has never put such a question before。  Will you give me a
  word of encouragementjust a hope that I may not be unacceptable as
  a husband to you?  Your talents are very great; and of course I know
  that I have nothing at all in that way。  Still people are happy
  together sometimes in spite of such things。  Will you say 〃Yes;〃 and
  settle it now?'
  'I was not expecting you had come upon such an errand as this;' said
  she; looking up a little; but mostly looking down。  'I cannot say
  what you wish; Mr。 Neigh。
  'Perhaps I have been too sudden and presumptuous。  Yes; I know I
  have been that。  However; directly I saw you I felt that nobody ever
  came so near my idea of what is desirable in a lady; and it occurred
  to me that only one obstacle should stand in the way of the natural
  results; which obstacle would be your refusal。  In common kindness
  consider。  I daresay I am judged to be a man of inattentive habits
  I know that's what you think of me; but under your influence I
  should be very different; so pray do not let your dislike to little
  matters influence you。'
  'I would not indeed。  But believe me there can be no discussion of
  marriage between us;' said Ethelberta decisively。
  'If that's the case I may as well say no more。  To burden you with
  my regrets would be out of place; I suppose;' said Neigh; looking
  calmly out of the window。
  'Apart from personal feeling; there are considerations which would
  prevent what you contemplated;' she murmured。  'My affairs are too
  lengthy; intricate; and unpleasant for me to explain to anybody at
  present。  And that would be a necessary first step。'
  'Not at all。  I cannot think that preliminary to be necessary at
  all。  I would put my lawyer in communication with yours; and we
  would leave the rest to them:  I believe that is the proper way。
  You could say anything in confidence to your family…man; and you
  could inquire through him anything you might wish to know about my
  about me。  All you would need to say to myself are just the two
  little words〃I will;〃 in the church here at the end of the
  Crescent。'
  'I am sorry to pain you; Mr。 Neighso sorry;' said Ethelberta。
  'But I cannot say them。'  She was rather distressed that; despite
  her discouraging words; he still went on with his purpose; as if he
  imagined what she so distinctly said to be no bar; but rather a
  stimulant; usual under the circumstances。
  'It does not matter about paining me;' said Neigh。  'Don't take that
  into consideration at all。  But I did not expect you to leave me so
  entirely without helpto refuse me absolutely as far as words go
  after what you did。  If it had not been for that I should never have
  ventured to call。  I might otherwise have supposed your interest to
  be fixed in another quarter; but your acting in that manner
  encouraged me to think you could listen to a word。'
  'What do you allude to?' said Ethelberta。  'How have I acted?'
  Neigh appeared reluctant to go any further; but the allusion soon
  became sufficiently clear。  'I wish my little place at Farnfield had
  been worthier of you;' he said brusquely。  'However; that's a matter
  of time only。  It is useless to build a house there yet。  I wish I
  had known that you would be looking over it at that time of the
  evening。  A single word; when we were talking about it the other
  day; that you were going to be in the neighbourhood; would have been
  sufficient。  Nothing could have given me so much delight as to have
  driven you round。'
  He knew that she had been to Farnfield:  that knowledge was what had
  inspired him to call upon her to…day!  Ethelberta breathed a sort of
  exclamation; not right out; but stealthily; like a parson's damn。
  Her face did not change; since a face must be said not to change
  while it preserves the same pleasant lines in the mobile parts as
  before; but anybody who has preserved his pleasant lines under the
  half…minute's peer of the invidious camera; and found what a
  wizened; starched kind of thing they stiffen to towards the end of
  the time; will understand the tendency of Ethelberta's lovely
  features now。
  'Yes; I walked round;' said Ethelberta faintly。
  Neigh was decidedly master of the position at last; but he spoke as
  if he did not value that。  His knowledge had furnished him with
  grounds for calling upon her; and he hastened to undeceive her from
  supposing that he could think ill of any motive of hers which gave
  him those desirable grounds。
  'I supposed you; by that; to give some little thought to me
  occasionally;' he resumed; in the same slow and orderly tone。  'How
  could I help thinking so?  It was your doing that which encouraged
  me。  Now; was it not naturalI put it to you?'
  Ethelberta was almost exasperated at perceiving the awful extent to
  which she had compromised herself with this man by her impulsive
  visit。  Lightly and philosophically as he seemed to take itas a
  thing; in short; which every woman would do by nature unless
  hindered by difficultiesit was no trifle to her as long as he was
  ignorant of her justification; and this she determined that he
  should know at once; at all hazards。
  'It was through you in the first place that I did look into your
  grounds!' she said excitedly。  'It was your presumption that caused
  me to go there。  I should not have thought of such a thing else。  If
  you had not said what you did say I never should have thought of you
  or Farnfield eitherFarnfield might have been in Kamtschatka for
  all I cared。'
  'I hope sincerely that I never said anything to disturb you?'
  'Yes; you didnot to me; but to somebody;' said Ethelberta; with
  her eyes over…full of retained tears。
  'What have I said to somebody that can be in the least objectionable
  to you?' inquired Neigh; with much concern。
  'You saidyou said; you meant to marry mejust as if I had no
  voice in the matter!  And that annoyed me; and made me go there out
  of curiosity。'
  Neigh changed colour a little。  'Well; I did say it:  I own that I
  said it;' he replied at last。  Probably he knew enough of her nature
  not to feel long disconcerted by her disclosure; however she might
  have become possessed of the information。  The explanation was
  certainly a great excuse to her curiosity; but if Ethelberta had
  tried she could not have given him a better ground for making light
  of her objections to his suit。  'I felt that I must marry you; that
  we were predestined to marry ages ago; and I feel it still!' he
  continued; with listless ardour。  'You seem to regret your interest
  in Farnfield; but to me it is a charm; and has been ever since I
  heard of it。'
  'If you only knew all!' she said helplessly; showing; without
  perceiving it; an unnecessary humility in the remark; since there
  was no more reason just then that she should go into details about
  her life than that he should about his。  But melancholy and mistaken
  thoughts of herself as a counterfeit had brought her to this。
  'I do not wish to know more;' said Neigh。
  'And would you marry any woman off…hand; without being thoroughly
  acquainted with her circumstances?' she said; looking at him
  curiously; and with a little admiration; for his unconscionably
  phlegmatic treatment of her motives in going to Farnfield had a not
  unbecoming daring about it in Ethelberta's eye。
  'I would marry a woman off…hand when that woman is you。  I would
  make you mine this moment did I dare; or; to speak with absolute
  accuracy; within twenty…four hours。  Do assent to it; dear Mrs。
  Petherwin; and let me be sure of you for ever。  I'll drive to
  Doctors' Commons this minute; and meet you to…morrow morning at nine
  in the church just below。  It is a simple impulse; but I would
  adhere to it in the coolest moment。  Shall it be arranged in that
  way; instead of our waiting through the ordinary routine of
  preparation?  I am not a youth now; but I can see the bliss of such
  an act as that; and the contemptible nature of methodical
  proceedings beside it!'
  He had taken her hand。  Ethelberta gave it a subtle movement
  backwards to imply that he was not to retain the prize; and said;
  'One whose inner life is almost unknown to you; and whom you have
  scarcely seen except at other people's houses!'
  'We know each other far better than we may think at first;' said
  Neigh。  'We are not people to love in a hurry; and I ha