第 20 节
作者:独来读网      更新:2022-11-28 19:17      字数:9322
  notice where the grass terminated near the edge of the cliff; though
  this could be easily felt by a careful walker:  to make my own
  feeling more distinct on this point I hastily bared my feet。'
  The listeners moistened their lips; Ethelberta took breath; and then
  went on to describe the scene that ensued; 'A dreadful variation on
  the game of Blindman's buff;' being the words by which she
  characterized it。
  Ethelberta's manner had become so impassioned at this point that the
  lips of her audience parted; the children clung to their elders; and
  Christopher could control himself no longer。  He thrust aside the
  boughs; and broke in upon the group。
  'For Heaven's sake; Ethelberta;' he exclaimed with great excitement;
  'where did you meet with such a terrible experience as that?'
  The children shrieked; as if they thought that the interruption was
  in some way the catastrophe of the events in course of narration。
  Every one started up; the two young mechanics stared; and one of
  them inquired; in return; 'What's the matter; friend?'
  Christopher had not yet made reply when Ethelberta stepped from her
  pedestal down upon the crackling carpet of deep leaves。
  'Mr。 Julian!' said she; in a serene voice; turning upon him eyes of
  such a disputable stage of colour; between brown and grey; as would
  have commended itself to a gallant duellist of the last century as a
  point on which it was absolutely necessary to take some friend's
  life or other。  But the calmness was artificially done; and the
  astonishment that did not appear in Ethelberta's tones was expressed
  by her gaze。  Christopher was not in a mood to draw fine
  distinctions between recognized and unrecognized organs of speech。
  He replied to the eyes。
  'I own that your surprise is natural;' he said; with an anxious look
  into her face; as if he wished to get beyond this interpolated scene
  to something more congenial and understood。  'But my concern at such
  a history of yourself since I last saw you is even more natural than
  your surprise at my manner of breaking in。'
  'That history would justify any conduct in one who hears it'
  'Yes; indeed。'
  'If it were true;' added Ethelberta; smiling。  'But it is as false
  as'  She could name nothing notoriously false without raising an
  image of what was disagreeable; and she continued in a better
  manner:  'The story I was telling is entirely a fiction; which I am
  getting up for a particular purposevery different from what
  appears at present。'
  'I am sorry there was such a misunderstanding;' Christopher
  stammered; looking upon the ground uncertain and ashamed。  'Yet I am
  not; either; for I am very glad you have not undergone such trials;
  of course。  But the fact is; Ibeing in the neighbourhoodI
  ventured to call on a matter of business; relating to a poem which I
  had the pleasure of setting to music at the beginning of the year。'
  Ethelberta was only a little less ill at ease than Christopher
  showed himself to be by this way of talking。
  'Will you walk slowly on?' she said gently to the two young men;
  'and take the children with you; this gentleman wishes to speak to
  me on business。'
  The biggest young man caught up a little one under his arm; and
  plunged amid the boughs; another little one lingered behind for a
  few moments to look shyly at Christopher; with an oblique manner of
  hiding her mouth against her shoulder and her eyes behind her
  pinafore。  Then she vanished; the boy and the second young man
  followed; and Ethelberta and Christopher stood within the wood…bound
  circle alone。
  'I hope I have caused no inconvenience by interrupting the
  proceedings;' said Christopher softly; 'but I so very much wished to
  see you!'
  'Did you; indeedreally wish to see me?' she said gladly。  'Never
  mind inconvenience then; it is a word which seems shallow in meaning
  under the circumstances。  I surely must say that a visit is to my
  advantage; must I not?  I am not as I was; you see; and may receive
  as advantages what I used to consider as troubles。'
  'Has your life really changed so much?'
  'It has changed。  But what I first meant was that an interesting
  visitor at a wrong time is better than a stupid one at a right
  time。'
  'I had been behind the trees for some minutes; looking at you; and
  thinking of you; but what you were doing rather interrupted my first
  meditation。  I had thought of a meeting in which we should continue
  our intercourse at the point at which it was broken off years ago;
  as if the omitted part had not existed at all; but something; I
  cannot tell what; has upset all that feeling; and'
  'I can soon tell you the meaning of my extraordinary performance;'
  Ethelberta broke in quickly; and with a little trepidation。  'My
  mother…in…law; Lady Petherwin; is dead; and she has left me nothing
  but her house and furniture in Londonmore than I deserve; but less
  than she had distinctly led me to expect; and so I am somewhat in a
  corner。'
  'It is always so。'
  'Not always; I think。  But this is how it happened。  Lady Petherwin
  was very capricious; when she was not foolishly kind she was
  unjustly harsh。  A great many are like it; never thinking what a
  good thing it would be; instead of going on tacking from side to
  side between favour and cruelty; to keep to a mean line of common
  justice。  And so we quarrelled; and she; being absolute mistress of
  all her wealth; destroyed her will that was in my favour; and made
  another; leaving me nothing but the fag…end of the lease of the
  town…house and the furniture in it。  Then; when we were abroad; she
  turned to me again; forgave everything; and; becoming ill
  afterwards; wrote a letter to the brother; to whom she had left the
  bulk of her property; stating that I was to have twenty…thousand of
  the one…hundred…thousand pounds she had bequeathed to himas in the
  original willdoing this by letter in case anything should happen
  to her before a new will could be considered; drawn; and signed; and
  trusting to his honour quite that he would obey her expressed wish
  should she die abroad。  Well; she did die; in the full persuasion
  that I was provided for; but her brother (as I secretly expected all
  the time) refused to be morally bound by a document which had no
  legal value; and the result is that he has everything; except; of
  course; the furniture and the lease。  It would have been enough to
  break the heart of a person who had calculated upon getting a
  fortune; which I never did; for I felt always like an intruder and a
  bondswoman; and had wished myself out of the Petherwin family a
  hundred times; with my crust of bread and liberty。  For one thing; I
  was always forbidden to see my relatives; and it pained me much。
  Now I am going to move for myself; and consider that I have a good
  chance of success in what I may undertake; because of an
  indifference I feel about succeeding which gives the necessary
  coolness that any great task requires。'
  'I presume you mean to write more poems?'
  'I cannotthat is; I can write no more that satisfy me。  To blossom
  into rhyme on the sparkling pleasures of life; you must be under the
  influence of those pleasures; and I am at present quite removed from
  themsurrounded by gaunt realities of a very different
  description。'
  'Then try the mournful。  Trade upon your sufferings:  many do; and
  thrive。'
  'It is no use to say thatno use at all。  I cannot write a line of
  verse。  And yet the others flowed from my heart like a stream。  But
  nothing is so easy as to seem clever when you have money。'
  'Except to seem stupid when you have none;' said Christopher;
  looking at the dead leaves。
  Ethelberta allowed herself to linger on that thought for a few
  seconds; and continued; 'Then the question arose; what was I to do?
  I felt that to write prose would be an uncongenial occupation; and
  altogether a poor prospect for a woman like me。  Finally I have
  decided to appear in public。'
  'Not on the stage?'
  'Certainly not on the stage。  There is no novelty in a poor lady
  turning actress; and novelty is what I want。  Ordinary powers
  exhibited in a new way effect as much as extraordinary powers
  exhibited in an old way。'
  'Yesso they do。  And extraordinary powers; and a new way too;
  would be irresistible。'
  'I don't calculate upon both。  I had written a prose story by
  request; when it was found that I had grown utterly inane over
  verse。  It was written in the first person; and the style was
  modelled after De Foe's。  The night before sending it off; when I
  had already packed it up; I was reading about the professional
  story…tellers of Eastern countries; who devoted their lives to the
  telling of tales。  I unfastened the manuscript and retained it;
  convinced that I should do better by TELLING the story。'
  'Well thought of!' exclaimed Christopher; looking into her face。
  'There is a way for everybody to live; if they can only find it
  out。'
  'It occurred to me;' she continued; blushing slightly; 'that tales
  of the weird kind were made to be told; not written。  The action of
  a teller is wanted to give due effect to all stories of incident;
  and I hope that a time will come when; as of old; instead of an
  unsocial reading of fiction at home alone; people will meet together
  cordi