第 33 节
作者:谁知道呢      更新:2022-11-28 19:13      字数:9311
  〃Oh。 Ugh。 Please; Jacob。 You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute?
  Artificial insemination?〃 She was mad now。 〃Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose
  it just doesn't make a difference? Any baby will do?〃
  〃I didn't mean that;〃 I muttered。 〃Not a stranger。〃
  She leaned forward。 〃Then what are you saying?〃
  〃Nothing。 I'm saying nothing。 Same as ever。〃
  〃Where did that come from?〃
  〃Forget it; Bella。〃
  She frowned; suspicious。 〃Did he tell you to say that?〃
  I hesitated; surprised that she'd made that leap so quick。 〃No。〃
  〃He did; didn't he?〃
  〃No; really。 He didn't say anything about artificial whatever。〃
  Her face softened then; and she sank back against the pillows; looking exhausted。 She stared off to the
  side when she spoke; not talking to me at all。 〃He would do anything forme。 And I'm hurting him so
  much。。。。 But what is he thinking? That I would trade this〃—her hand traced across her belly—〃for some
  stranger's 。。。〃 She mumbled the last part; and then her voice trailed off。 Her eyes were wet。
  〃You don't have to hurt him;〃 I whispered。 It burned like poison in my mouth to beg for him; but I knew
  this angle was probably my best bet for keeping her alive。 Still a thousand…to…one odds。 〃You could
  make him happy again; Bella。 And I really think he's losing it。 Honestly; I do。〃
  She didn't seem to be listening; her hand made small circles on her battered stomach while she chewed
  on her lip。 It was quiet for a long time。 I wondered if the Cullens were very far away。 Were they listening
  to my pathetic attempts to reason with her?
  〃Not a stranger?〃 she murmured to herself。 I flinched。 〃What exactly did Edward say to you?〃 she asked
  in a low voice。
  〃Nothing。 He just thought you might listen to me。〃
  〃Not that。 About trying again。〃
  Her eyes locked on mine; and I could see that I'd already given too much away。
  〃Nothing。〃
  Her mouth fell open a little。 〃Wow。〃
  It was silent for a few heartbeats。 I looked down at my feet again; unable to meet her stare。
  〃He really would do anything; wouldn't he?〃 she whispered。
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  〃I told you he was going crazy。 Literally; Bells。〃
  〃I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away。 Get him in trouble。〃
  When I looked up; she was grinning。
  〃Thought about it。〃 I tried to grin back; but I could feel the smile mangle on my face。
  She knew what I was offering; and she wasn't going to think twice about it。 I'd known that she wouldn't。
  But it still stung。
  〃There isn't much you wouldn't do for me; either; is there?〃 she whispered。 〃I really don't know why you
  bother。 I don't deserve either of you。〃
  〃It makes no difference; though; does it?〃
  〃Not this time。〃 She sighed。 〃I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand。 I can't
  hurthim〃—she pointed to her stomach—〃any more than I could pick up a gun and shoot you。 I love
  him。〃
  〃Why do you always have to love the wrong things; Bella?〃
  〃I don't think I do。〃
  I cleared the lump out of my throat so that I could make my voice hard like I wanted it。 'Trust me。〃
  I started to get to my feet。
  〃Where are you going?〃
  〃I'm not doing any good here。〃
  She held out her thin hand; pleading。 〃Don't go。〃
  I could feel the addiction sucking at me; trying to keep me near her。
  〃I don't belong here。 I've got to get back。〃
  〃Why did you come today?〃 she asked; still reaching limply。
  〃Just to see if you were really alive。 I didn't believe you were sick like Charlie said。〃
  I couldn't tell from her face whether she bought that or not。
  〃Will you come back again? Before 。。。〃
  〃I'm not going to hang around and watch you die;Bella。〃
  She flinched。 〃You're right; you're right。 You should go。〃
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  I headed for the door。
  〃Bye;〃 she whispered behind me。 〃Love you; Jake。〃
  I almost went back。 I almost turned around and fell down on my knees and started begging again。 But I
  knew that I had to quitBella; quit her cold turkey; before she killed me; like she was going to kill him。
  〃Sure; sure;〃 I mumbled on my way out。
  I didn't see any of the vampires。 I ignored my bike; standing all alone in the middle of the meadow。 It
  wasn't fast enough for me now。 My dad would be freaked out—Sam; too。 What would the pack make
  of the fact that they hadn't heard me phase? Would they think the Cullens got me before I'd had the
  chance? I stripped down; not caring who might be watching; and started running。 I blurred into wolf
  mid…stride。
  They were waiting。 Of course they were。
  Jacob; Jake;eight voices chorused in relief。
  Come homenow; the Alpha voice ordered。 Sam was furious。
  I felt Paul fade out; and i knew Billy and Rachel were waiting to hear what had happened to me。 Paul
  was too anxious to give them the good news that I wasn't vampire chow to listen to the whole story。
  I didn't have to tell the pack I was on my way—they could see the forest blurring past me as I sprinted
  for home。 I didn't have to tell them that I was half…past crazy; either。 The sickness in my head was
  obvious。
  They saw all the horror—Bella's mottled stomach; her raspy voice; he's strong; that's all: the burning
  man in Edward's face: watching her sicken and waste away。。。 seeing it hurting her; Rosalie crouched
  over Bella's limp body: Bella's life means nothing to her— and for once; no one had anything to say。
  Their shock was just a silent shout in my head。 Wordless。
  ////
  I was halfway home before anyone recovered。 Then they all started running to meet me。
  It was almost dark—the clouds covered the sunset completely。 I risked darting across the freeway and
  made it without being seen。
  We met up about ten miles out of La Push; in a clearing left by the loggers。 It was out of the way;
  wedged between two spurs of the mountain; where no one would see us。 Paul found them when I did; so
  the pack was complete。
  The babble in my head was total chaos。 Everyone shouting at once。
  Sam's hackles were sticking straight up; and he was growling in an unbroken stream as he paced back
  and forth around the top of the ring。 Paul and Jared moved like shadows behind him; their ears flat
  against the sides of their head。 The whole circle was agitated; on their feet and snarling in low bursts。
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  At first their anger was undefined; and I thought I was in for it。 I was too messed up to care about that。
  They could do whatever they wanted to me for circumventing orders。
  And then the unfocused confusion of thoughts began to move together。
  How can this be? What does it mean? What will it be?
  Not safe。 Not right。 Dangerous。
  Unnatural。 Monstrous。 An abomination。
  We can't allow it。
  The pack was pacing in synchronization now; thinking in synchronization; all but myself and one other。 I
  sat beside whichever brother it was; too dazed to look over with either my eyes or my mind and see who
  was next to me; while the pack circled around us。
  The treaty does not cover this。
  This puts everyone in danger。
  I tried to understand the spiraling voices; tried to follow the curling pathway the thoughts made to see
  where they were leading; but it wasn't making sense。 The pictures in the center of their thoughts were my
  pictures—the very worst of them。 Bella's bruises; Edward's face as he burned。
  They fear it; too。
  But they won't do anything about it
  Protecting Bella Swan。
  We can't let that influence us。
  The safety of our families; of everyone here; is more important than one human。
  If they won't kill it; we have to。
  Protect the tribe。
  Protect our families。
  We have to kill it before it's too late。
  Another of my memories; Edward's words this time: The thing is growing。 Swiftly。
  I struggled to focus; to pick out individual voices。
  No time to waste;Jared thought。
  It will mean a fight;Embry cautioned。 A bad one。
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  Were ready;Paul insisted。
  Well need surprise on our side;Sam thought。
  If we catch them divided; we can take them down separately。 It will increase our chances of victory;
  Jared thought; starting to strategize now。
  I shook my head; rising slowly to my feet。 1 felt unsteady there—like the circling wolves were making
  me dizzy。 The wolf beside me got up; too。 His shoulder pushed against mine; propping me up。
  Wai