The　Diary　of　a　Goose　Girl
  by　Kate　Douglas　Wiggin
  THORNYCROFT　FARM；　near　Barbury　Green；　July　1；　190…。
  In　alluding　to　myself　as　a　Goose　Girl；　I　am　using　only　the　most
  modest　of　my　titles；　for　I　am　also　a　poultry…maid；　a　tender　of
  Belgian　hares　and　rabbits；　and　a　shepherdess；　but　I　particularly
  fancy　the　role　of　Goose　Girl；　because　it　recalls　the　German　fairy
  tales　of　my　early　youth；　when　I　always　yearned；　but　never　hoped；　to
  be　precisely　what　I　now　am。
  As　I　was　jolting　along　these　charming　Sussex　roads　the　other　day；　a
  fat　buff　pony　and　a　tippy　cart　being　my　manner　of　progression；　I
  chanced　upon　the　village　of　Barbury　Green。
  One　glance　was　enough　for　any　woman；　who；　having　eyes　to　see；　could
  see　with　them；　but　I　made　assurance　doubly　sure　by　driving　about　a
  little；　struggling　to　conceal　my　new…born　passion　from　the　stable…
  boy　who　was　my　escort。　　Then；　it　being　high　noon　of　a　cloudless
  day；　I　descended　from　the　trap　and　said　to　the　astonished　yokel：
  〃You　may　go　back　to　the　Hydropathic；　I　am　spending　a　month　or　two
  here。　　Wait　a　momentI'll　send　a　message；　please！〃
  I　then　scribbled　a　word　or　two　to　those　having　me　in　custody。
  〃I　am　very　tired　of　people；〃　the　note　ran；　〃and　want　to　rest　myself
  by　living　a　while　with　things。　　Address　me　（if　you　must）　at　Barbury
  Green　post…office；　or　at　all　events　send　me　a　box　of　simple
  clothing　therenothing　but　shirts　and　skirts；　please。　　I　cannot
  forget　that　I　am　only　twenty　miles　from　Oxenbridge　（though　it　might
  be　one　hundred　and　twenty；　which　is　the　reason　I　adore　it）；　but　I
  rely　upon　you　to　keep　an　honourable　distance　yourselves；　and　not　to
  divulge　my　place　of　retreat　to　others；　especially　toyou　know
  whom！　　Do　not　pursue　me。　　I　will　never　be　taken　alive！〃
  Having　cut；　thus；　the　cable　that　bound　me　to　civilisation；　and
  having　seen　the　buff　pony　and　the　dazed　yokel　disappear　in　a　cloud
  of　dust；　I　looked　about　me　with　what　Stevenson　calls　a　〃fine；
  dizzy；　muddle…headed　joy；〃　the　joy　of　a　successful　rebel　or　a
  liberated　serf。　　Plenty　of　money　in　my　pursethat　was　unromantic；
  of　course；　but　it　simplified　mattersand　nine　hours　of　daylight
  remaining　in　which　to　find　a　lodging。
  The　village　is　one　of　the　oldest；　and　I　am　sure　it　must　be　one　of
  the　quaintest；　in　England。　　It　is　too　small　to　be　printed　on　the
  map　（an　honour　that　has　spoiled　more　than　one　Arcadia）；　so　pray　do
  not　look　there；　but　just　believe　in　it；　and　some　day　you　may　be
  rewarded　by　driving　into　it　by　chance；　as　I　did；　and　feel　the　same
  Columbus　thrill　running；　like　an　electric　current；　through　your
  veins。　　I　withhold　specific　geographical　information　in　order　that
  you　may　not　miss　that　Columbus　thrill；　which　comes　too　seldom　in　a
  world　of　railroads。
  The　Green　is　in　the　very　centre　of　Barbury　village；　and　all　civic；
  political；　family；　and　social　life　converges　there；　just　at　the
  public　duck…ponda　wee；　sleepy　lake　with　a　slope　of　grass…covered
  stones　by　which　the　ducks　descend　for　their　swim。
  The　houses　are　set　about　the　Green　like　those　in　a　toy　village。
  They　are　of　old　brick；　with　crumpled；　up…and…down　roofs　of　deep…
  toned　red；　and　tufts　of　stonecrop　growing　from　the　eaves。　　Diamond…
  paned　windows；　half　open；　admit　the　sweet　summer　air；　and　as　for
  the　gardens　in　front；　it　would　seem　as　if　the　inhabitants　had
  nothing　to　do　but　work　in　them；　there　is　such　a　riotous　profusion
  of　colour　and　bloom。　　To　add　to　the　effect；　there　are　always　pots
  of　flowers　hanging　from　the　trees；　blue　flax　and　yellow　myrtle；　and
  cages　of　Java　sparrows　and　canaries　singing　joyously；　as　well　they
  may　in　such　a　paradise。
  The　shops　are　idyllic；　too；　as　if　Nature　had　seized　even　the　man　of
  trade　and　made　him　subservient　to　her　designs。　　The　general
  draper's；　where　I　fitted　myself　out　for　a　day　or　two　quite　easily；
  is　set　back　in　a　tangle　of　poppies　and　sweet　peas；　Madonna　lilies
  and　Canterbury　bells。　　The　shop　itself　has　a　gay　awning；　and　what
  do　you　think　the　draper　has　suspended　from　it；　just　as　a
  picturesque　suggestion　to　the　passer…by？　　Suggestion　I　call　it；
  because　I　should　blush　to　use　the　word　advertisement　in　describing
  anything　so　dainty　and　decorative。　　Well；　then；　garlands　of　shoes；
  if　you　please！　　Baby　bootlets　of　bronze；　tiny　ankle…ties　in　yellow；
  blue；　and　scarlet　kid；　glossy　patent…leather　pumps　shining　in　the
  sun；　with　festoons　of　slippers　at　the　corners；　flowery　slippers　in
  imitation　Berlin　wool…work。　　If　you　make　this　picture　in　your
  mind's…eye；　just　add　a　window　above　the　awning；　and　over　the　fringe
  of　marigolds　in　the　window…box　put　the　draper's　wife　dancing　a
  rosy…cheeked　baby。　　Alas！　my　words　are　only　black　and　white；　I
  fear；　and　this　picture　needs　a　palette　drenched　in　primary　colours。
  Along　the　street；　a　short　distance；　is　the　old　watchmaker's。　　Set
  in　the　hedge　at　the　gate　is　a　glass　case　with　Multum　in　Parvo
  painted　on　the　woodwork。　　Within；　a　little　stand　of　trinkets
  revolves　slowly；　as　slowly；　I　imagine；　as　the　current　of　business
  in　that　quiet　street。　　The　house　stands　a　trifle　back　and　is
  covered　thickly　with　ivy；　while　over　the　entrance…door　of　the　shop
  is　a　great　round　clock　set　in　a　green　frame　of　clustering　vine。
  The　hands　pointed　to　one　when　I　passed　the　watchmaker's　garden　with
  its　thicket　of　fragrant　lavender　and　its　murmuring　bees；　so　I　went
  in　to　the　sign　of　the　〃Strong　i'　the　Arm〃　for　some　cold　luncheon；
  determining　to　patronise　〃The　Running　Footman〃　at　the　very　next
  opportunity。　　Neither　of　these　inns　is　starred　by　Baedeker；　and
  this　fact　adds　the　last　touch　of　enchantment　to　the　picture。
  The　landlady　at　the　〃Strong　i'　the　Arm〃　stabbed　me　in　the　heart　by
  telling　me　that　there　were　no　apartments　to　let　in　the　village；　and
  that　she　had　no　private　sitting…room　in　the　inn；　but　she　speedily
  healed　the　wound　by　saying　that　I　might　be　accommodated　at　one　of
  the　farm…houses　in　the　vicinity。　　Did　I　object　to　a　farm…'ouse？
  Then　she　could　cheerfully　recommend　the　Evan's　farm；　only　'alf　a
  mile　away。　　She　'ad　understood　from　Miss　Phoebe　Evan；　who　sold　her
  poultry；　that　they　would　take　one　lady　lodger　if　she　didn't　wish
  much　waiting　upon。
  In　my　present　mood　I　was　in　search　of　the　strenuous　life；　and　eager
  to　wait；　rather　than　to　be　waited　upon；　so　I　walked　along　the　edge
  of　the　Green；　wishing　that　some　mentally　unbalanced　householder
  would　take　a　sudden　fancy　to　me　and　ask　me　to　come　in　and　lodge
  awhile。　　I　suppose　these　families　live　under　their　roofs　of　peach…
  blow　tiles；　in　the　midst　of　their　blooming　gardens；　for　a　guinea　a
  week　or　thereabouts；　yet　if　they　〃undertook〃　me　（to　use　their　own
  phrase）；　the　bill　for　my　humble　meals　and　bed　would　be　at　least
  double　that。　　I　don't　know　that　I　blame　them；　one　should　have
  proper　compensation　for　admitting　a　world…stained　lodger　into　such
  an　Eden。
  When　I　was　searching　for　rooms　a　week　ago；　I　chanced　upon　a　pretty
  cottage　where　the　woman　had　sometimes　let　apartments。　　She　showed
  me　the　premises　and　asked　me　if　I　would　mind　taking　my　meals　in　her
  own　dining…room；　where　I　could　be　served　privately　at　certain
  hours：　　and；　since　she　had　but　the　one　sitting…room；　would　I　allow
  her　to　go　on　using　it　occasionally？　also；　if　I　had　no　special
  preference；　would　I　take　the　second…sized　bedroom　and　leave　her　in
  possession　of　the　largest　one；　which　permitted　her　to　have　the
  baby's　crib　by　her　bedside？　　She　thought　I　should　be　quite　as
  comfortable；　and　it　was　her　opinion　that　in　making　arrangements
  with　lodgers；　it　was　a　good　plan　not　to　〃bryke　up　the　'ome　any　more
  than　was　necessary。〃
  〃Bryke　up　the　'ome！〃　　That　is　seemingly　the　malignant　purpose　with
  which　I　entered　Barbury　Green。
  CHAPTER　II
  July　4th。
  Enter　the　family　of　Thornycroft　Farm；　of　which　I　am　already　a
  member　in　good　and　regular　standing。
  I　introduce　Mrs。　Heaven　first；　for　she　is　a　self…saturated　person
  who　would　never　forgive　the　insult　should　she　receive　any　lower
  place。
  She　welcomed　me　with　the　statement：　　〃We　do　not　take　lodgers　here；
  nor　boarders；　no　lodgers；　nor　boarders；　but　we　do　occasionally
  admit　paying　guests；　those　who　look　as　if　they　would　appreciate　the
  quietude　of　the　plyce　and　be　willing　as　you　might　say　to　remunerate
  according。〃
  I　did　not　mind　at　this　particular　juncture　what　I　was　called；　so
  long　as　the　epithet　was　comparatively　unobjectionable；　so　I　am　a
  paying　guest；　therefore；　and　I　expect　to　pay　handsomely　for　the
  handsome　appellation。　　Mrs。　Heaven　is　short　and　fat；　she　fills　her
  dress　as　a　pin…cushion　fills　its　cover；　she　wears　a　cap　and　apron；
  and　she　is　so　full　of　platitudes　that　she　would　have　burst　had　I
  not　appeared　as　a　providential　outlet　for　them。　　Her　accent　is　not
  of　the　farm；　but　of　the　town；　and　smacks　wholly　of　the　marts　of
  trade。　　She　is　repetitious；　too；　as　well　as　platitudinous。　　〃I　'ope
  if　there's　anythink　you　require　you　will　let　us　know；　let　us　know；〃
  she　says　several　times　each　day；　and　whenever　she　enters　my
  sitting…room　she　prefaces　her　conversation　with　the　remark：　　〃I
  trust　you　are　finding　it　quiet　here；　miss？　　It's　the　quietude　of
  the　plyce　that　is　its　charm；　yes；　the　quietude。　　And　yet〃　（she
  dribbles　on）　〃it　wears　on　a　body　after　a　while；　miss。　　I　often　go
  into　Woodmucket　to　visit　one　of　my　sons　just　for　t