details；　and　every　time　will　add；　of　itself；　details　still　more
  ignominious；　spitefully　teasing　and　tormenting　itself　with　its
  own　imagination。　　It　will　itself　be　ashamed　of　its　imaginings；
  but　yet　it　will　recall　it　all；　it　will　go　over　and　over　every
  detail；　it　will　invent　unheard　of　things　against　itself；
  pretending　that　those　things　might　happen；　and　will　forgive
  nothing。　　Maybe　it　will　begin　to　revenge　itself；　too；　but；　as　it
  were；　piecemeal；　in　trivial　ways；　from　behind　the　stove；
  incognito；　without　believing　either　in　its　own　right　to
  vengeance；　or　in　the　success　of　its　revenge；　knowing　that　from
  all　its　efforts　at　revenge　it　will　suffer　a　hundred　times　more
  than　he　on　whom　it　revenges　itself；　while　he；　I　daresay；　will　not
  even　scratch　himself。　　On　its　deathbed　it　will　recall　it　all　over
  again；　with　interest　accumulated　over　all　the　years　and　。。。　But
  it　is　just　in　that　cold；　abominable　half　despair；　half　belief；　in
  that　conscious　burying　oneself　alive　for　grief　in　the　underworld
  for　forty　years；　in　that　acutely　recognised　and　yet　partly
  doubtful　hopelessness　of　one's　position；　in　that　hell　of
  unsatisfied　desires　turned　inward；　in　that　fever　of　oscillations；
  of　resolutions　determined　for　ever　and　repented　of　again　a　minute
  laterthat　the　savour　of　that　strange　enjoyment　of　which　I　have
  spoken　lies。　　It　is　so　subtle；　so　difficult　of　analysis；　that
  persons　who　are　a　little　limited；　or　even　simply　persons　of
  strong　nerves；　will　not　understand　a　single　atom　of　it。
  〃Possibly；〃　you　will　add　on　your　own　account　with　a　grin；　〃people
  will　not　understand　it　either　who　have　never　received　a　slap　in
  the　face；〃　and　in　that　way　you　will　politely　hint　to　me　that　I；
  too；　perhaps；　have　had　the　experience　of　a　slap　in　the　face　in　my
  life；　and　so　I　speak　as　one　who　knows。　　I　bet　that　you　are
  thinking　that。　　But　set　your　minds　at　rest；　gentlemen；　I　have　not
  received　a　slap　in　the　face；　though　it　is　absolutely　a　matter　of
  indifference　to　me　what　you　may　think　about　it。　　Possibly；　I　even
  regret；　myself；　that　I　have　given　so　few　slaps　in　the　face　during
  my　life。　　But　enough　。。。　not　another　word　on　that　subject　of　such
  extreme　interest　to　you。
  I　will　continue　calmly　concerning　persons　with　strong　nerves　who
  do　not　understand　a　certain　refinement　of　enjoyment。　　Though　in
  certain　circumstances　these　gentlemen　bellow　their　loudest　like
  bulls；　though　this；　let　us　suppose；　does　them　the　greatest
  credit；　yet；　as　I　have　said　already；　confronted　with　the
  impossible　they　subside　at　once。　　The　impossible　means　the　stone
  wall！　　What　stone　wall？　　Why；　of　course；　the　laws　of　nature；　the
  deductions　of　natural　science；　mathematics。　　As　soon　as　they
  prove　to　you；　for　instance；　that　you　are　descended　from　a　monkey；
  then　it　is　no　use　scowling；　accept　it　for　a　fact。　　When　they
  prove　to　you　that　in　reality　one　drop　of　your　own　fat　must　be
  dearer　to　you　than　a　hundred　thousand　of　your　fellow…creatures；
  and　that　this　conclusion　is　the　final　solution　of　all　so…called
  virtues　and　duties　and　all　such　prejudices　and　fancies；　then　you
  have　just　to　accept　it；　there　is　no　help　for　it；　for　twice　two　is
  a　law　of　mathematics。　　Just　try　refuting　it。
  〃Upon　my　word；〃　they　will　shout　at　you；　〃it　is　no　use　protesting：
  it　is　a　case　of　twice　two　makes　four！　　Nature　does　not　ask　your
  permission；　she　has　nothing　to　do　with　your　wishes；　and　whether
  you　like　her　laws　or　dislike　them；　you　are　bound　to　accept　her　as
  she　is；　and　consequently　all　her　conclusions。　　A　wall；　you　see；
  is　a　wall　。。。　and　so　on；　and　so　on。〃　　Merciful　Heavens！　　but　what
  do　I　care　for　the　laws　of　nature　and　arithmetic；　when；　for　some
  reason　I　dislike　those　laws　and　the　fact　that　twice　two　makes
  four？　　Of　course　I　cannot　break　through　the　wall　by　battering　my
  head　against　it　if　I　really　have　not　the　strength　to　knock　it
  down；　but　I　am　not　going　to　be　reconciled　to　it　simply　because　it
  is　a　stone　wall　and　I　have　not　the　strength。
  As　though　such　a　stone　wall　really　were　a　consolation；　and　really
  did　contain　some　word　of　conciliation；　simply　because　it　is　as
  true　as　twice　two　makes　four。　　Oh；　absurdity　of　absurdities！　　How
  much　better　it　is　to　understand　it　all；　to　recognise　it　all；　all
  the　impossibilities　and　the　stone　wall；　not　to　be　reconciled　to
  one　of　those　impossibilities　and　stone　walls　if　it　disgusts　you
  to　be　reconciled　to　it；　by　the　way　of　the　most　inevitable；
  logical　combinations　to　reach　the　most　revolting　conclusions　on
  the　everlasting　theme；　that　even　for　the　stone　wall　you　are
  yourself　somehow　to　blame；　though　again　it　is　as　clear　as　day　you
  are　not　to　blame　in　the　least；　and　therefore　grinding　your　teeth
  in　silent　impotence　to　sink　into　luxurious　inertia；　brooding　on
  the　fact　that　there　is　no　one　even　for　you　to　feel　vindictive
  against；　that　you　have　not；　and　perhaps　never　will　have；　an
  object　for　your　spite；　that　it　is　a　sleight　of　hand；　a　bit　of
  juggling；　a　card…　sharper's　trick；　that　it　is　simply　a　mess；　no
  knowing　what　and　no　knowing　who；　but　in　spite　of　all　these
  uncertainties　and　jugglings；　still　there　is　an　ache　in　you；　and
  the　more　you　do　not　know；　the　worse　the　ache。
  IV
  〃Ha；　ha；　ha！　　You　will　be　finding　enjoyment　in　toothache　next；〃
  you　cry；　with　a　laugh。
  〃Well；　even　in　toothache　there　is　enjoyment；〃　I　answer。　　I　had
  toothache　for　a　whole　month　and　I　know　there　is。　　In　that　case；
  of　course；　people　are　not　spiteful　in　silence；　but　moan；　but　they
  are　not　candid　moans；　they　are　malignant　moans；　and　the
  malignancy　is　the　whole　point。　　The　enjoyment　of　the　sufferer
  finds　expression　in　those　moans；　if　he　did　not　feel　enjoyment　in
  them　he　would　not　moan。　　It　is　a　good　example；　gentlemen；　and　I
  will　develop　it。　　Those　moans　express　in　the　first　place　all　the
  aimlessness　of　your　pain；　which　is　so　humiliating　to　your
  consciousness；　the　whole　legal　system　of　nature　on　which　you　spit
  disdainfully；　of　course；　but　from　which　you　suffer　all　the　same
  while　she　does　not。　　They　express　the　consciousness　that　you　have
  no　enemy　to　punish；　but　that　you　have　pain；　the　consciousness
  that　in　spite　of　all　possible　Wagenheims　you　are　in　complete
  slavery　to　your　teeth；　that　if　someone　wishes　it；　your　teeth　will
  leave　off　aching；　and　if　he　does　not；　they　will　go　on　aching
  another　three　months；　and　that　finally　if　you　are　still
  contumacious　and　still　protest；　all　that　is　left　you　for　your　own
  gratification　is　to　thrash　yourself　or　beat　your　wall　with　your
  fist　as　hard　as　you　can；　and　absolutely　nothing　more。　　Well；
  these　mortal　insults；　these　jeers　on　the　part　of　someone　unknown；
  end　at　last　in　an　enjoyment　which　sometimes　reaches　the　highest
  degree　of　voluptuousness。　　I　ask　you；　gentlemen；　listen　sometimes
  to　the　moans　of　an　educated　man　of　the　nineteenth　century
  suffering　from　toothache；　on　the　second　or　third　day　of　the
  attack；　when　he　is　beginning　to　moan；　not　as　he　moaned　on　the
  first　day；　that　is；　not　simply　because　he　has　toothache；　not　just
  as　any　coarse　peasant；　but　as　a　man　affected　by　progress　and
  European　civilisation；　a　man　who　is　〃divorced　from　the　soil　and
  the　national　elements；〃　as　they　express　it　now…a…days。　　His　moans
  become　nasty；　disgustingly　malignant；　and　go　on　for　whole　days
  and　nights。　　And　of　course　he　knows　himself　that　he　is　doing
  himself　no　sort　of　good　with　his　moans；　he　knows　better　than
  anyone　that　he　is　only　lacerating　and　harassing　himself　and
  others　for　nothing；　he　knows　that　even　the　audience　before　whom
  he　is　making　his　efforts；　and　his　whole　family；　listen　to　him
  with　loathing；　do　not　put　a　ha'porth　of　faith　in　him；　and
  inwardly　understand　that　he　might　moan　differently；　more　simply；
  without　trills　and　flourishes；　and　that　he　is　only　amusing
  himself　like　that　from　ill…humour；　from　malignancy。　　Well；　in　all
  these　recognitions　and　disgraces　it　is　that　there　lies　a
  voluptuous　pleasure。　　As　though　he　would　say：　〃I　am　worrying　you；
  I　am　lacerating　your　hearts；　I　am　keeping　everyone　in　the　house
  awake。　　Well；　stay　awake　then；　you；　too；　feel　every　minute　that　I
  have　toothache。　　I　am　not　a　hero　to　you　now；　as　I　tried　to　seem
  before；　but　simply　a　nasty　person；　an　impostor。　　Well；　so　be　it；
  then！　　I　am　very　glad　that　you　see　through　me。　　It　is　nasty　for
  you　to　hear　my　despicable　moans：　well；　let　it　be　nasty；　here　I
  will　let　you　have　a　nastier　flourish　in　a　minute。。。。〃　　You　do　not
  understand　even　now；　gentlemen？　　No；　it　seems　our　　development
  and　our　consciousness　must　go　further　to　understand　all　the
  intricacies　of　this　pleasure。　　You　laugh？　　Delighted。　　My　jests；
  gentlemen；　are　of　course　in　bad　taste；　jerky；　involved；　lacking
  self…confidence。　　But　of　course　that　is　because　I　do　not　respect
  myself。　　Can　a　man　of　perception　respect　himself　at　all？
  V
  Come；　can　a　man　who　attempts　to　find　enjoyment　in　the　very
  feeling　of　his　own　degradation　possibly　have　a　spark　of　respect
  for　himself？　　I　am　not　saying　this　now　from　any　mawkish　kind　of
  remorse。　　And