第 41 节
作者:左思右想      更新:2022-08-26 22:14      字数:9321
  。  Things are not settled; yet it is sufficient to say we have a CHANCE of going for half a year。 Dewsbury Moor is relinquished。  Perhaps; fortunately so。  In my secret soul; I believe there is no cause to regret it。  My plans for the future are bounded to this intention:  if I once get to Brussels; and if my health is spared; I will do my best to make the utmost of every advantage that shall come within my reach。 When the half…year is expired; I will do what I can。
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  〃Believe me; though I was born in April; the month of cloud and sunshine; I am not changeful。  My spirits are unequal; and sometimes I speak vehemently; and sometimes I say nothing at all; but I have a steady regard for you; and if you will let the cloud and shower pass by; be sure the sun is always behind; obscured; but still existing。〃
  At Christmas she left her situation; after a parting with her employers which seems to have affected and touched her greatly。 〃They only made too much of me;〃 was her remark; after leaving this family; 〃I did not deserve it。〃
  All four children hoped to meet together at their father's house this December。  Branwell expected to have a short leave of absence from his employment as a clerk on the Leeds and Manchester Railway; in which he had been engaged for five months。  Anne arrived before Christmas…day。  She had rendered herself so valuable in her difficult situation; that her employers vehemently urged her to return; although she had announced her resolution to leave them; partly on account of the harsh treatment she had received; and partly because her stay at home; during her sisters' absence in Belgium; seemed desirable; when the age of the three remaining inhabitants of the parsonage was taken into consideration。
  After some correspondence and much talking over plans at home; it seemed better; in consequence of letters which they received from Brussels giving a discouraging account of the schools there; that Charlotte and Emily should go to an institution at Lille; in the north of France; which was highly recommended by Baptist Noel; and other clergymen。  Indeed; at the end of January; it was arranged that they were to set off for this place in three weeks; under the escort of a French lady; then visiting in London。  The terms were 50L。 each pupil; for board and French alone; but a separate room was to be allowed for this sum; without this indulgence; it was lower。  Charlotte writes:…
  〃January 20th; 1842。
  〃I consider it kind in aunt to consent to an extra sum for a separate room。  We shall find it a great privilege in many ways。 I regret the change from Brussels to Lille on many accounts; chiefly that I shall not see Martha。  Mary has been indefatigably kind in providing me with information。  She has grudged no labour; and scarcely any expense; to that end。  Mary's price is above rubies。  I have; in fact; two friendsyou and herstaunch and true; in whose faith and sincerity I have as strong a belief as I have in the Bible。  I have bothered you bothyou especially; but you always get the tongs and heap coals of fire upon my head。  I have had letters to write lately to Brussels; to Lille; and to London。  I have lots of chemises; nightgowns; pocket… handkerchiefs; and pockets to make; besides clothes to repair。  I have been; every week since I came home; expecting to see Branwell; and he has never been able to get over yet。  We fully expect him; however; next Saturday。  Under these circumstances how can I go visiting?  You tantalize me to death with talking of conversations by the fireside。  Depend upon it; we are not to have any such for many a long month to come。  I get an interesting impression of old age upon my face; and when you see me next I shall certainly wear caps and spectacles。〃
  CHAPTER XI
  I am not aware of all the circumstances which led to the relinquishment of the Lille plan。  Brussels had had from the first a strong attraction for Charlotte; and the idea of going there; in preference to any other place; had only been given up in consequence of the information received of the second…rate character of its schools。  In one of her letters reference has been made to Mrs。 Jenkins; the wife of the chaplain of the British Embassy。  At the request of his brothera clergyman; living not many miles from Haworth; and an acquaintance of Mr。 Bronte'sshe made much inquiry; and at length; after some discouragement in her search; heard of a school which seemed in every respect desirable。 There was an English lady who had long lived in the Orleans family; amidst the various fluctuations of their fortunes; and who; when the Princess Louise was married to King Leopold; accompanied her to Brussels; in the capacity of reader。  This lady's granddaughter was receiving her education at the pensionnat of Madame Heger; and so satisfied was the grandmother with the kind of instruction given; that she named the establishment; with high encomiums; to Mrs。 Jerkins; and; in consequence; it was decided that; if the terms suited; Miss Bronte and Emily should proceed thither。  M。 Heger informs me that; on receipt of a letter from Charlotte; making very particular inquiries as to the possible amount of what are usually termed 〃extras;〃 he and his wife were so much struck by the simple earnest tone of the letter; that they said to each other:… 〃These are the daughters of an English pastor; of moderate means; anxious to learn with an ulterior view of instructing others; and to whom the risk of additional expense is of great consequence。  Let us name a specific sum; within which all expenses shall be included。〃
  This was accordingly done; the agreement was concluded; and the Brontes prepared to leave their native county for the first time; if we except the melancholy and memorable residence at Cowan Bridge。  Mr。 Bronte determined to accompany his daughters。  Mary and her brother; who were experienced in foreign travelling; were also of the party。  Charlotte first saw London in the day or two they now stopped there; and; from an expression in one of her subsequent letters; they all; I believe; stayed at the Chapter Coffee House; Paternoster Rowa strange; old…fashioned tavern; of which I shall have more to say hereafter。
  Mary's account of their journey is thus given。
  〃In passing through London; she seemed to think our business was and ought to be; to see all the pictures and statues we could。 She knew the artists; and know where other productions of theirs were to be found。  I don't remember what we saw except St。 Paul's。 Emily was like her in these habits of mind; but certainly never took her opinion; but always had one to offer 。 。 。 I don't know what Charlotte thought of Brussels。  We arrived in the dark; and went next morning to our respective schools to see them。  We were; of course; much preoccupied; and our prospects gloomy。  Charlotte used to like the country round Brussels。  'At the top of every hill you see something。'  She took; long solitary walks on the occasional holidays。〃
  Mr。 Bronte took his daughters to the Rue d'Isabelle; Brussels; remained one night at Mr。 Jenkins'; and straight returned to his wild Yorkshire village。
  What a contrast to that must the Belgian capital have presented to those two young women thus left behind!  Suffering acutely from every strange and unaccustomed contactfar away from their beloved home; and the dear moors beyondtheir indomitable will was their great support。  Charlotte's own words; with regard to Emily; are:…
  〃After the age of twenty; having meantime studied alone with diligence and perseverance; she went with me to an establishment on the continent。  The same suffering and conflict ensued; heightened by the strong recoil of her upright heretic and English spirit from the gentle Jesuitry of the foreign and Romish system。 Once more she seemed sinking; but this time she rallied through the mere force of resolution:  with inward remorse and shame she looked back on her former failure; and resolved to conquer; but the victory cost her dear。  She was never happy till she carried her hard…won knowledge back to the remote English village; the old parsonage…house; and desolate Yorkshire hills。〃
  They wanted learning。  They came for learning。  They would learn。 Where they had a distinct purpose to be achieved in intercourse with their fellows; they forgot themselves; at all other times they were miserably shy。  Mrs。 Jenkins told me that she used to ask them to spend Sundays and holidays with her; until she found that they felt more pain than pleasure from such visits。  Emily hardly ever uttered more than a monosyllable。  Charlotte was sometimes excited sufficiently to speak eloquently and wellon certain subjects; but before her tongue was thus loosened; she had a habit of gradually wheeling round on her chair; so as almost to conceal her face from the person to whom she was speaking。
  And yet there was much in Brussels to strike a responsive chord in her powerful imagination。  At length she was seeing somewhat of that grand old world of which she had dreamed。  As the gay crowds passed by her; so had gay crowds paced those streets for centuries; in all their varying costumes。  Every spot told an historic tale; extending back into the fabulous ages when Jan and