第 6 节
作者:左思右想      更新:2022-08-26 22:12      字数:9321
  the names of friends on door…plates; the sight of friends
  whom he seemed to recognise; and whom he eagerly avoided; in
  the streets; the pleasant chant of the north…country accent;
  the dome of St。 George's reminding him of his last
  penitential moments in the lane; and of that King of Glory
  whose name had echoed ever since in the saddest corner of his
  memory; and the gutters where he had learned to slide; and
  the shop where he had bought his skates; and the stones on
  which he had trod; and the railings in which he had rattled
  his clachan as he went to school; and all those thousand and
  one nameless particulars; which the eye sees without noting;
  which the memory keeps indeed yet without knowing; and which;
  taken one with another; build up for us the aspect of the
  place that we call home: all these besieged him; as he went;
  with both delight and sadness。
  His first visit was for Houston; who had a house on Regent
  Terrace; kept for him in old days by an aunt。  The door was
  opened (to his surprise) upon the chain; and a voice asked
  him from within what he wanted。
  'I want Mr。 Houston … Mr。 Alan Houston;' said he。
  'And who are ye?' said the voice。
  'This is most extraordinary;' thought John; and then aloud he
  told his name。
  'No' young Mr。 John?' cried the voice; with a sudden increase
  of Scotch accent; testifying to a friendlier feeling。
  'The very same;' said John。
  And the old butler removed his defences; remarking only 'I
  thocht ye were that man。'  But his master was not there; he
  was staying; it appeared; at the house in Murrayfield; and
  though the butler would have been glad enough to have taken
  his place and given all the news of the family; John; struck
  with a little chill; was eager to be gone。  Only; the door
  was scarce closed again; before he regretted that he had not
  asked about 'that man。'
  He was to pay no more visits till he had seen his father and
  made all well at home; Alan had been the only possible
  exception; and John had not time to go as far as Murrayfield。
  But here he was on Regent Terrace; there was nothing to
  prevent him going round the end of the hill; and looking from
  without on the Mackenzies' house。  As he went; he reflected
  that Flora must now be a woman of near his own age; and it
  was within the bounds of possibility that she was married;
  but this dishonourable doubt he dammed down。
  There was the house; sure enough; but the door was of another
  colour; and what was this … two door…plates?  He drew nearer;
  the top one bore; with dignified simplicity; the words; 'Mr。
  Proudfoot'; the lower one was more explicit; and informed the
  passer…by that here was likewise the abode of 'Mr。 J。 A。
  Dunlop Proudfoot; Advocate。'  The Proudfoots must be rich;
  for no advocate could look to have much business in so remote
  a quarter; and John hated them for their wealth and for their
  name; and for the sake of the house they desecrated with
  their presence。  He remembered a Proudfoot he had seen at
  school; not known: a little; whey…faced urchin; the
  despicable member of some lower class。  Could it be this
  abortion that had climbed to be an advocate; and now lived in
  the birthplace of Flora and the home of John's tenderest
  memories?  The chill that had first seized upon him when he
  heard of Houston's absence deepened and struck inward。  For a
  moment; as he stood under the doors of that estranged house;
  and looked east and west along the solitary pavement of the
  Royal Terrace; where not a cat was stirring; the sense of
  solitude and desolation took him by the throat; and he wished
  himself in San Francisco。
  And then the figure he made; with his decent portliness; his
  whiskers; the money in his purse; the excellent cigar that he
  now lighted; recurred to his mind in consolatory comparison
  with that of a certain maddened lad who; on a certain spring
  Sunday ten years before; and in the hour of church…time
  silence; had stolen from that city by the Glasgow road。  In
  the face of these changes; it were impious to doubt fortune's
  kindness。  All would be well yet; the Mackenzies would be
  found; Flora; younger and lovelier and kinder than before;
  Alan would be found; and would have so nicely discriminated
  his behaviour as to have grown; on the one hand; into a
  valued friend of Mr。 Nicholson's; and to have remained; upon
  the other; of that exact shade of joviality which John
  desired in his companions。  And so; once more; John fell to
  work discounting the delightful future: his first appearance
  in the family pew; his first visit to his uncle Greig; who
  thought himself so great a financier; and on whose purblind
  Edinburgh eyes John was to let in the dazzling daylight of
  the West; and the details in general of that unrivalled
  transformation scene; in which he was to display to all
  Edinburgh a portly and successful gentleman in the shoes of
  the derided fugitive。
  The time began to draw near when his father would have
  returned from the office; and it would be the prodigal's cue
  to enter。  He strolled westward by Albany Street; facing the
  sunset embers; pleased; he knew not why; to move in that cold
  air and indigo twilight; starred with street…lamps。  But
  there was one more disenchantment waiting him by the way。
  At the corner of Pitt Street he paused to light a fresh
  cigar; the vesta threw; as he did so; a strong light upon his
  features; and a man of about his own age stopped at sight of
  it。
  'I think your name must be Nicholson;' said the stranger。
  It was too late to avoid recognition; and besides; as John
  was now actually on the way home; it hardly mattered; and he
  gave way to the impulse of his nature。
  'Great Scott!' he cried; 'Beatson!' and shook hands with
  warmth。  It scarce seemed he was repaid in kind。
  'So you're home again?' said Beatson。  'Where have you been
  all this long time?'
  'In the States;' said John … 'California。  I've made my pile
  though; and it suddenly struck me it would be a noble scheme
  to come home for Christmas。'
  'I see;' said Beatson。  'Well; I hope we'll see something of
  you now you're here。'
  'Oh; I guess so;' said John; a little frozen。
  'Well; ta…ta;' concluded Beatson; and he shook hands again
  and went。
  This was a cruel first experience。  It was idle to blink
  facts: here was John home again; and Beatson … Old Beatson …
  did not care a rush。  He recalled Old Beatson in the past …
  that merry and affectionate lad … and their joint adventures
  and mishaps; the window they had broken with a catapult in
  India Place; the escalade of the castle rock; and many
  another inestimable bond of friendship; and his hurt surprise
  grew deeper。  Well; after all; it was only on a man's own
  family that he could count; blood was thicker than water; he
  remembered; and the net result of this encounter was to bring
  him to the doorstep of his father's house; with tenderer and
  softer feelings。
  The night had come; the fanlight over the door shone bright;
  the two windows of the dining…room where the cloth was being
  laid; and the three windows of the drawing…room where Maria
  would be waiting dinner; glowed softlier through yellow
  blinds。  It was like a vision of the past。  All this time of
  his absence life had gone forward with an equal foot; and the
  fires and the gas had been lighted; and the meals spread; at
  the accustomed hours。  At the accustomed hour; too; the bell
  had sounded thrice to call the family to worship。  And at the
  thought; a pang of regret for his demerit seized him; he
  remembered the things that were good and that he had
  neglected; and the things that were evil and that he had
  loved; and it was with a prayer upon his lips that he mounted
  the steps and thrust the key into the key…hole。
  He stepped into the lighted hall; shut the door softly behind
  him; and stood there fixed in wonder。  No surprise of
  strangeness could equal the surprise of that complete
  familiarity。  There was the bust of Chalmers near the stair…
  railings; there was the clothes…brush in the accustomed
  place; and there; on the hat…stand; hung hats and coats that
  must surely be the same as he remembered。  Ten years dropped
  from his life; as a pin may slip between the fingers; and the
  ocean and the mountains; and the mines; and crowded marts and
  mingled races of San Francisco; and his own fortune and his
  own disgrace; became; for that one moment; the figures of a
  dream that was over。
  He took off his hat; and moved mechanically toward the stand;
  and there he found a small change that was a great one to
  him。  The pin that had been his from boyhood; where he had
  flung his balmoral when he loitered home from the Academy;
  and his first hat when he came briskly back from college or
  the office … his pin was occupied。  'They might have at least
  respected my pin!' he thought; and he was moved as by a
  slight; and began at once to recollect that he