第 12 节
作者:美丽心点      更新:2022-08-21 16:40      字数:9322
  outer shore of Lido。  Meantime he had taken his mission to heart
  so well that I began to feel crushed before we reached Zurich。
  He argued in railway trains; in lake steamboats; he had argued
  away for me the obligatory sunrise on the Righi; by Jove!  Of his
  devotion to his unworthy pupil there can be no doubt。  He had
  proved it already by two years of unremitting and arduous care。
  I could not hate him。  But he had been crushing me slowly; and
  when he started to argue on the top of the Furca Pass he was
  perhaps nearer a success than either he or I imagined。  I
  listened to him in despairing silence; feeling that ghostly;
  unrealised and desired sea of my dreams escape from the unnerved
  grip of my will。
  The enthusiastic old Englishman had passedand the argument went
  on。  What reward could I expect from such a life at the end of my
  years; either in ambition; honour or conscience?  An unanswerable
  question。  But I felt no longer crushed。  Then our eyes met and a
  genuine emotion was visible in his as well as in mine。  The end
  came all at once。  He picked up the knapsack suddenly and got on
  to his feet。
  〃You are an incorrigible; hopeless Don Quixote。  That's what you
  are。〃
  I was surprised。  I was only fifteen and did not know what he
  meant exactly。  But I felt vaguely flattered at the name of the
  immortal knight turning up in connection with my own folly; as
  some people would call it to my face。  Alas! I don't think there
  was anything to be proud of。  Mine was not the stuff the
  protectors of forlorn damsels; the redressers of this world's
  wrongs are made of; and my tutor was the man to know that best。
  Therein; in his indignation; he was superior to the barber and
  the priest when he flung at me an honoured name like a reproach。
  I walked behind him for full five minutes; then without looking
  back he stopped。  The shadows of distant peaks were lengthening
  over the Furca Pass。  When I came up to him he turned to me and
  in full view of the Finster…Aarhorn; with his band of giant
  brothers rearing their monstrous heads against a brilliant sky;
  put his hand on my shoulder affectionately。
  〃Well!  That's enough。  We will have no more of it。〃
  And indeed there was no more question of my mysterious vocation
  between us。  There was to be no more question of it at all;
  nowhere or with any one。  We began the descent of the Furca Pass
  conversing merrily。  Eleven years later; month for month; I stood
  on Tower Hill on the steps of the St。 Katherine's Dockhouse; a
  master in the British Merchant Service。  But the man who put his
  hand on my shoulder at the top of the Furca Pass was no longer
  living。
  That very year of our travels he took his degree of the
  Philosophical Facultyand only then his true vocation declared
  itself。  Obedient to the call he entered at once upon the four…
  year course of the Medical Schools。 A day came when; on the deck
  of a ship moored in Calcutta; I opened a letter telling me of the
  end of an enviable existence。  He had made for himself a practice
  in some obscure little town of Austrian Galicia。  And the letter
  went on to tell me how all the bereaved poor of the district;
  Christians and Jews alike; had mobbed the good doctor's coffin
  with sobs and lamentations at the very gate of the cemetery。
  How short his years and how clear his vision!  What greater
  reward in ambition; honour and conscience could he have hoped to
  win for himself when; on the top of the Furca Pass; he bade me
  look well to the end of my opening life。
  Chapter III。
  The devouring in a dismal forest of a luckless Lithuanian dog by
  my grand…uncle Nicholas B。 in company of two other military and
  famished scarecrows; symbolised; to my childish imagination; the
  whole horror of the retreat from Moscow and the immorality of a
  conqueror's ambition。  An extreme distaste for that objectionable
  episode has tinged the views I hold as to the character and
  achievements of Napoleon the Great。  I need not say that these
  are unfavourable。  It was morally reprehensible for that great
  captain to induce a simple…minded Polish gentleman to eat dog by
  raising in his breast a false hope of national independence。  It
  has been the fate of that credulous nation to starve for upwards
  of a hundred years on a diet of false hopes andwelldog。  It
  is; when one thinks of it; a singularly poisonous regimen。  Some
  pride in the national constitution which has survived a long
  course of such dishes is really excusable。  But enough of
  generalising。  Returning to particulars; Mr。 Nicholas B。 confided
  to his sister…in…law (my grandmother) in his misanthropically
  laconic manner that this supper in the woods had been nearly 〃the
  death of him。〃  This is not surprising。  What surprises me is
  that the story was ever heard of; for grand…uncle Nicholas
  differed in this from the generality of military men of
  Napoleon's time (and perhaps of all time); that he did not like
  to talk of his campaigns; which began at Friedland and ended
  somewhere in the neighbourhood of Bar…le…Duc。  His admiration of
  the great Emperor was unreserved in everything but expression。
  Like the religion of earnest men; it was too profound a sentiment
  to be displayed before a world of little faith。  Apart from that
  he seemed as completely devoid of military anecdotes as though he
  had hardly ever seen a soldier in his life。  Proud of his
  decorations earned before he was twenty…five; he refused to wear
  the ribbons at the buttonhole in the manner practised to this day
  in Europe and even was unwilling to display the insignia on
  festive occasions; as though he wished to conceal them in the
  fear of appearing boastful。  〃It is enough that I have them;〃 he
  used to mutter。  In the course of thirty years they were seen on
  his breast only twiceat an auspicious marriage in the family
  and at the funeral of an old friend。  That the wedding which was
  thus honoured was not the wedding of my mother I learned only
  late in life; too late to bear a grudge against Mr。 Nicholas B。;
  who made amends at my birth by a long letter of congratulation
  containing the following prophecy:  〃He will see better times。〃
  Even in his embittered heart there lived a hope。  But he was not
  a true prophet。
  He was a man of strange contradictions。  Living for many years in
  his brother's house; the home of many children; a house full of
  life; of animation; noisy with a constant coming and going of
  many guests; he kept his habits of solitude and silence。
  Considered as obstinately secretive in all his purposes; he was
  in reality the victim of a most painful irresolution in all
  matters of civil life。  Under his taciturn; phlegmatic behaviour
  was hidden a faculty of short…lived passionate anger。  I suspect
  he had no talent for narrative; but it seemed to afford him
  sombre satisfaction to declare that he was the last man to ride
  over the bridge of the river Elster after the battle of Leipsic。
  Lest some construction favourable to his valour should be put on
  the fact he condescended to explain how it came to pass。  It
  seems that shortly after the retreat began he was sent back to
  the town where some divisions of the French Army (and amongst
  them the Polish corps of Prince Joseph Poniatowski); jammed
  hopelessly in the streets; were being simply exterminated by the
  troops of the Allied Powers。  When asked what it was like in
  there Mr。 Nicholas B。 muttered the only word 〃Shambles。〃  Having
  delivered his message to the Prince he hastened away at once to
  render an account of his mission to the superior who had sent
  him。  By that time the advance of the enemy had enveloped the
  town; and he was shot at from houses and chased all the way to
  the river bank by a disorderly mob of Austrian Dragoons and
  Prussian Hussars。  The bridge had been mined early in the morning
  and his opinion was that the sight of the horsemen converging
  from many sides in the pursuit of his person alarmed the officer
  in command of the sappers and caused the premature firing of the
  charges。  He had not gone more than 200 yards on the other side
  when he heard the sound of the fatal explosions。  Mr。 Nicholas B。
  concluded his bald narrative with the word 〃Imbecile〃 uttered
  with the utmost deliberation。  It testified to his indignation at
  the loss of so many thousands of lives。  But his phlegmatic
  physiognomy li