第 130 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2022-08-21 16:40      字数:9322
  felt that he had rather have her; such as she was; than anybody else;
  and; together; they sat down; and talked of what was to be done; and
  what was best for Meta; and of the solemnity of being in the house of
  death。  Ethel felt and showed it so much; in her subdued; awe…struck
  manner; that her father felt checked whenever he was about to return
  to his ordinary manner; familiarised; as he necessarily was; with the
  like scenes。  It drew him back to the thought of their own trouble;
  and their conversation recurred to those days; so that each gained a
  more full understanding of the other; and they at length separated;
  certainly with the more peaceful and soft feelings for being in the
  abode of mourning。
  Bellairs promised to call Ethel; to be with her young lady as early
  as might be; reporting that she was sound asleep。  And sleep
  continued to shield her till past her usual hour; so that Ethel was
  up; and had been with Dr。 May; before she was summoned to her; and
  then she found her half dressed; and hastening that she might not
  make Dr。 May late for breakfast; and in going to his patients。  There
  was an elasticity in the happily constituted young mind that could
  not be entirely struck down; nor deprived of power of taking thought
  for others。  Yet her eyes looked wandering; and unlike themselves;
  and her words; now and then; faltered; as if she was not sure what
  she was doing or saying。  Ethel told her not to mindDr。 Spencer
  would take care of the patients; but she did not seem to recollect;
  at first; who Dr。 Spencer was; nor to care for being reminded。
  Breakfast was laid out in the little sitting…room。  Ethel wanted to
  take the trouble off her hands; but she would not let her。  She sat
  behind her urn; and asked about tea or coffee; quite accurately; in a
  low; subdued voice; that nearly overcame Dr。 May。  When the meal was
  over; and she had rung the bell; and risen up; as if to her daily
  work; she turned round; with that piteous; perplexed air; and stood
  for a moment; as if confused。
  〃Cannot we help you?〃 said Ethel。
  〃I don't know。  Thank you。  But; Dr。 May; I must not keep you from
  other people〃
  〃I have no one to go to this morning;〃 said Dr。 May。  〃I am ready to
  stay with you; my dear。〃
  Meta came closer to him; and murmured; 〃Thank you!〃
  The breakfast things had; by this time; been taken away; and Meta;
  looking to see that the door had shut for the last time; said; in a
  low voice; 〃Now tell me〃
  Dr。 May drew her down to sit on the sofa beside him; and; in his
  soft; sweet voice; told her all that she wished to learn of her
  father's last hours; and was glad to see showers of quiet; wholesome
  tears drop freely down; but without violence; and she scarcely
  attempted to speak。  There was a pause at the end; and then she said
  gently; 〃Thank you; for it all。  Dear papa!〃  And she rose up; and
  went back to her room。
  〃She has learned to dwell apart;〃 said Dr。 May; much moved。
  〃How beautiful she bears up!〃 said Ethel。
  〃It has been a life which; as she has used it; has taught her
  strength and self…dependence in the midst of prosperity。〃
  〃Yes;〃 said Ethel; 〃she has trained herself by her dread of self…
  indulgence; and seeking after work。  But oh! what a break up it is
  for her!  I cannot think how she holds up。  Shall I go to her?〃
  〃I think not。  She knows the way to the only Comforter。  I am not
  afraid of her after those blessed tears。〃
  Dr。 May was right; Meta presently returned to them; in the same
  gentle subdued sadness; enfolding her; indeed; as a flower weighed
  down by mist; but not crushing nor taking away her powers。  It was as
  if she were truly upheld; and thankful to her friends as she was; she
  did not throw herself on them in utter dependence or self…
  abandonment。
  She wrote needful letters; shedding many tears over them; and often
  obliged to leave off to give the blinding weeping its course; but
  refusing to impose any unnecessary task upon Dr。 May's lame arm。  All
  that was right; she strove to do; she saw Mr。 Charles Wilmot; and was
  refreshed by his reading to her; and when Dr。 May desired it; she
  submissively put on her bonnet; and took several turns with Ethel in
  the shrubbery; though it made her cry heartily to look into the
  downstairs rooms。  And she lay on the sofa at last; owning herself
  strangely tired; she did not know why; and glad that Ethel should
  read to her。  By and by; she went to dress for the evening; and came
  back; full of the tidings that one of the children in the village had
  been badly burned。  It occupied her very muchshe made Ethel promise
  to go and see about her to…morrow; and sent Bellairs at once with
  every comfort that she could devise。
  On the whole; those two days were to Ethel a peaceful and comfortable
  time。  She saw more than usual of her father; and had such
  conversations with him as were seldom practicable at home; and that
  chimed in with the unavowed care which hung on their minds; while
  Meta was a most sweet and loving charge; without being a burden; and
  often saying such beautiful things in her affectionate resignation;
  that Ethel could only admire and lay them up in her mind。  Dr。 May
  went backwards and forwards; and brought good accounts of Margaret
  and fond messages; he slept at the Grange each night; and Meta used
  to sit in the corner of the sofa and work; or not; as best suited
  her; while she listened to his talk with Ethel; and now and then
  herself joined。
  George Rivers's absence was a serious inconvenience in all
  arrangements; but his sister dreaded his grief as much as she wished
  for his return; and often were the posts and the journeys reckoned
  over; without a satisfactory conclusion; as to when he could arrive
  from so remote a part of Scotland。
  At last; as the two girls had finished their early dinner; the butler
  brought in word that Mr。 Norman May was there。  Meta at once begged
  that he would come in; and Ethel went into the hall to meet him。  He
  looked very wan; with the dark rings round his eyes a deeper purple
  than ever; and he could hardly find utterance to ask; 〃How is she?〃
  〃As good and sweet as she can be;〃 said Ethel warmly; but no more;
  for Meta herself had come to the dining…room door; and was holding
  out her hand。  Norman took it in both his; but could not speak;
  Meta's own soft voice was the first。  〃I thought you would comehe
  was so fond of you。〃
  Poor Norman quite gave way; and Meta was the one to speak gentle
  words of soothing。  〃There is so much to be thankful for;〃 she said。
  〃He has been spared so much of the suffering Dr。 May feared for him;
  and he was so happy about George。〃
  Norman made a great effort to recover himself。  Ethel asked for Flora
  and George。  It appeared that they had been on an excursion when the
  first letter arrived at Glenbracken; and thus had received both
  together in the evening; on their return。  George had been greatly
  overcome; and they had wished to set off instantly; but Lady
  Glenbracken would not hear of Flora's travelling night and day; and
  it had at length been arranged that Norman Ogilvie should drive
  Norman across the country that evening; to catch the mail for
  Edinburgh; and he had been on the road ever since。  George was
  following with his wife more slowly; and would be at home to…morrow
  evening。  Meantime; he sent full authority to his father…in…law to
  make arrangements。
  Ethel went to see the burned child; leaving Meta to take her walk in
  the garden under Norman's charge。  He waited on her with a sort of
  distant reverence for a form of grief; so unlike what he had dreaded
  for her; when the first shock of the tidings had brought back to him
  the shattered bewildered feelings to which he dared not recur。
  To dwell on the details was; to her; a comfort; knowing his sympathy
  and the affection there had been between him and her father; nor had
  they parted in such absolute brightness; as to make them unprepared
  for such a meeting as the present。  The cloud of suspense was
  brooding lower and lower over the May family; and the need of faith
  and submission was as great with them as with the young orphan
  herself。  Norman said little; but that little was so deep and
  fervent; that after a time Meta could not help saying; when Ethel was
  seen in the distance; and their talk was nearly over; 〃Oh; Norman;
  these things are no mirage!〃
  〃It is the world that is the mirage;〃 he answered。  Ethel came up;
  and Dr。 May also; in good time for the post。  He was obliged to
  become very busy; using Norman for his secretary; till he saw his
  son's eyes so heavy; that he remembered the two nights that he had
  been up; and ordered him to go home and go to bed as soon as tea was
  over。
  〃May I come back to…morrow?〃
  〃WhyyesI think you may。  No; no;〃 he added; recollecting himself;
  〃I think you had better not;〃 and he did not relent; though Norman
  looked disappointed。
  Meta had already expressed her belief that her father would be buried
  at the suburban church; where lay her mother; and Dr。 May; having
  been desired to seek out the will and open it; found it was so; and
  fixed the day and hour with Meta; who was as submissive and
  reasonable as possible; though much grieved that he thought she could