第 14 节
作者:片片      更新:2022-08-21 16:31      字数:9322
  Sir Robert Filmer; the supposed necessary as well as absolute
  power of the father over his children; was taken as the foundation
  and origin; and thence justifying cause; of the power of the
  monarch in every political state。  With more propriety he might
  have stated the absolute dominion of a woman as the only
  legitimate form of government。〃DEONTOLOGY; ii。 181。
  CHAPTER III。COMPANIONSHIP AND EXAMPLES
  〃Keep good company; and you shall be of the number。〃
  GEORGE HERBERT。
  〃For mine own part;
  I Shall be glad to learn of noble men。〃SHAKSPEARE
  〃Examples preach to th' eyeCare then; mine says;
  Not how you end but how you spend your days。〃
  HENRY MARTEN'LAST THOUGHTS。'
  〃Dis moi qui t'admire; et je dirai qui tu es。〃SAINTE…BEUVE
  He that means to be a good limner will be sure to draw after the
  most excellent copies and guide every stroke of his pencil by the
  better pattern that lays before him; so he that desires that the
  table of his life may be fair; will be careful to propose the best
  examples; and will never be content till he equals or excels
  them。〃OWEN FELTHAM
  The natural education of the Home is prolonged far into life
  indeed; it never entirely ceases。  But the time arrives; in the
  progress of years; when the Home ceases to exercise an exclusive
  influence on the formation of character; and it is succeeded by
  the more artificial education of the school and the companionship
  of friends and comrades; which continue to mould the character by
  the powerful influence of example。
  Men; young and oldbut the young more than the oldcannot help
  imitating those with whom they associate。  It was a saying of
  George Herbert's mother; intended for the guidance of her sons;
  〃that as our bodies take a nourishment suitable to the meat on
  which we feed; so do our souls as insensibly take in virtue or
  vice by the example or conversation of good or bad company。〃
  Indeed; it is impossible that association with those about us
  should not produce a powerful influence in the formation of
  character。  For men are by nature imitators; and all persons are
  more or less impressed by the speech; the manners; the gait; the
  gestures; and the very habits of thinking of their companions。
  〃Is example nothing?〃 said Burke。  〃It is everything。  Example is
  the school of mankind; and they will learn at no other。〃  Burke's
  grand motto; which he wrote for the tablet of the Marquis of
  Rockingham; is worth repeating: it was; 〃Rememberresemble
  persevere。〃
  Imitation is for the most part so unconscious that its effects are
  almost unheeded; but its influence is not the less permanent on
  that account。  It is only when an impressive nature is placed in
  contact with an impressionable one; that the alteration in the
  character becomes recognisable。  Yet even the weakest natures
  exercise some influence upon those about them。  The approximation
  of feeling; thought; and habit is constant; and the action of
  example unceasing。
  Emerson has observed that even old couples; or persons who have
  been housemates for a course of years; grow gradually like each
  other; so that; if they were to live long enough; we should
  scarcely be able to know them apart。  But if this be true of the
  old; how much more true is it of the young; whose plastic natures
  are so much more soft and impressionable; and ready to take the
  stamp of the life and conversation of those about them!
  〃There has been;〃 observed Sir Charles Bell in one of his letters;
  〃a good deal said about education; but they appear to me to put
  out of sight EXAMPLE; which is all…in…all。  My best education was
  the example set me by my brothers。  There was; in all the members
  of the family; a reliance on self; a true independence; and by
  imitation I obtained it。〃 (1)
  It is in the nature of things that the circumstances which
  contribute to form the character; should exercise their principal
  influence during the period of growth。  As years advance; example
  and imitation become custom; and gradually consolidate into habit;
  which is of so much potency that; almost before we know it; we
  have in a measure yielded up to it our personal freedom。
  It is related of Plato; that on one occasion he reproved a boy for
  playing at some foolish game。  〃Thou reprovest me;〃 said the boy;
  〃for a very little thing。〃  〃But custom;〃 replied Plato; 〃is not a
  little thing。〃  Bad custom; consolidated into habit; is such a
  tyrant that men sometimes cling to vices even while they curse
  them。  They have become the slaves of habits whose power they
  are impotent to resist。  Hence Locke has said that to create
  and maintain that vigour of mind which is able to contest the
  empire of habit; may be regarded as one of the chief ends
  of moral discipline。
  Though much of the education of character by example is
  spontaneous and unconscious; the young need not necessarily be the
  passive followers or imitators of those about them。  Their own
  conduct; far more than the conduct of their companions; tends to
  fix the purpose and form the principles of their life。  Each
  possesses in himself a power of will and of free activity; which;
  if courageously exercised; will enable him to make his own
  individual selection of friends and associates。  It is only
  through weakness of purpose that young people; as well as old;
  become the slaves of their inclinations; or give themselves up to
  a servile imitation of others。
  It is a common saying that men are known by the company they keep。
  The sober do not naturally associate with the drunken; the refined
  with the coarse; the decent with the dissolute。  To associate with
  depraved persons argues a low taste and vicious tendencies; and to
  frequent their society leads to inevitable degradation of
  character。  〃The conversation of such persons;〃 says Seneca; 〃is
  very injurious; for even if it does no immediate harm; it leaves
  its seeds in the mind; and follows us when we have gone from the
  speakersa plague sure to spring up in future resurrection。〃
  If young men are wisely influenced and directed; and
  conscientiously exert their own free energies; they will seek the
  society of those better than themselves; and strive to imitate
  their example。  In companionship with the good; growing natures
  will always find their best nourishment; while companionship with
  the bad will only be fruitful in mischief。  There are persons whom
  to know is to love; honour; and admire; and others whom to know is
  to shun and despise;〃DONT LE SAVOIR N'EST QUE BETERIE;〃 as says
  Rabelais when speaking of the education of Gargantua。  Live with
  persons of elevated characters; and you will feel lifted and
  lighted up in them: 〃Live with wolves;〃 says the Spanish proverb;
  〃and you will learn to howl。〃
  Intercourse with even commonplace; selfish persons; may prove most
  injurious; by inducing a dry; dull reserved; and selfish condition
  of mind; more or less inimical to true manliness and breadth of
  character。  The mind soon learns to run in small grooves; the
  heart grows narrow and contracted; and the moral nature becomes
  weak; irresolute; and accommodating; which is fatal to all
  generous ambition or real excellence。
  On the other hand; association with persons wiser; better; and
  more experienced than ourselves; is always more or less inspiring
  and invigorating。  They enhance our own knowledge of life。  We
  correct our estimates by theirs; and become partners in their
  wisdom。  We enlarge our field of observation through their eyes;
  profit by their experience; and learn not only from what they have
  enjoyed; butwhich is still more instructivefrom what they
  have suffered。  If they are stronger than ourselves; we become
  participators in their strength。  Hence companionship with the
  wise and energetic never fails to have a most valuable influence
  on the formation of characterincreasing our resources;
  strengthening our resolves; elevating our aims; and enabling us to
  exercise greater dexterity and ability in our own affairs; as well
  as more effective helpfulness of others。
  〃I have often deeply regretted in myself;〃 says Mrs。
  Schimmelpenninck; 〃the great loss I have experienced from the
  solitude of my early habits。  We need no worse companion than our
  unregenerate selves; and; by living alone; a person not only
  becomes wholly ignorant of the means of helping his fellow…
  creatures; but is without the perception of those wants which most
  need help。  Association with others; when not on so large a scale
  as to make hours of retirement impossible; may be considered as
  furnishing to an individual a rich multiplied experience; and
  sympathy so drawn forth; though; unlike charity; it begins abroad;
  never fails to bring back rich treasures home。  Association with
  others is useful also in strengthening the character; and in
  enabling us; while we