第 53 节
作者:白寒      更新:2022-07-12 16:24      字数:9322
  He saw himself like the rocks without; unmoved by the caresses or the
  stormy surgings of the waves。
  Then; by a gift of insight seldom accorded; he read the thoughts of
  all those about him。 The light of a candle revealed the sardonic
  profile and yellow cranium of an old man; he remembered now that he
  had won from him; and had never proposed that the other should have
  his revenge; a little further on he saw a pretty woman; whose lively
  advances he had met with frigid coolness; there was not a face there
  that did not reproach him with some wrong done; inexplicably to all
  appearance; but the real offence in every case lay in some
  mortification; some invisible hurt dealt to self…love。 He had
  unintentionally jarred on all the small susceptibilities of the circle
  round about him。
  His guests on various occasions; and those to whom he had lent his
  horses; had taken offence at his luxurious ways; their ungraciousness
  had been a surprise to him; he had spared them further humiliations of
  that kind; and they had considered that he looked down upon them; and
  had accused him of haughtiness ever since。 He could read their inmost
  thoughts as he fathomed their natures in this way。 Society with its
  polish and varnish grew loathsome to him。 He was envied and hated for
  his wealth and superior ability; his reserve baffled the inquisitive;
  his humility seemed like haughtiness to these petty superficial
  natures。 He guessed the secret unpardonable crime which he had
  committed against them; he had overstepped the limits of the
  jurisdiction of their mediocrity。 He had resisted their inquisitorial
  tyranny; he could dispense with their society; and all of them;
  therefore; had instinctively combined to make him feel their power;
  and to take revenge upon this incipient royalty by submitting him to a
  kind of ostracism; and so teaching him that they in their turn could
  do without him。
  Pity came over him; first of all; at this aspect of mankind; but very
  soon he shuddered at the thought of the power that came thus; at will;
  and flung aside for him the veil of flesh under which the moral nature
  is hidden away。 He closed his eyes; so as to see no more。 A black
  curtain was drawn all at once over this unlucky phantom show of truth;
  but still he found himself in the terrible loneliness that surrounds
  every power and dominion。 Just then a violent fit of coughing seized
  him。 Far from receiving one single wordindifferent; and meaningless;
  it is true; but still containing; among well…bred people brought
  together by chance; at least some pretence of civil commiserationhe
  now heard hostile ejaculations and muttered complaints。 Society there
  assembled disdained any pantomime on his account; perhaps because he
  had gauged its real nature too well。
  〃His complaint is contagious。〃
  〃The president of the Club ought to forbid him to enter the salon。〃
  〃It is contrary to all rules and regulations to cough in that way!〃
  〃When a man is as ill as that; he ought not to come to take the
  waters〃
  〃He will drive me away from the place。〃
  Raphael rose and walked about the rooms to screen himself from their
  unanimous execrations。 He thought to find a shelter; and went up to a
  young pretty lady who sat doing nothing; minded to address some pretty
  speeches to her; but as he came towards her; she turned her back upon
  him; and pretended to be watching the dancers。 Raphael feared lest he
  might have made use of the talisman already that evening; and feeling
  that he had neither the wish nor the courage to break into the
  conversation; he left the salon and took refuge in the billiard…room。
  No one there greeted him; nobody spoke to him; no one sent so much as
  a friendly glance in his direction。 His turn of mind; naturally
  meditative; had discovered instinctively the general grounds and
  reasons for the aversion he inspired。 This little world was obeying;
  unconsciously perhaps; the sovereign law which rules over polite
  society; its inexorable nature was becoming apparent in its entirety
  to Raphael's eyes。 A glance into the past showed it to him; as a type
  completely realized in Foedora。
  He would no more meet with sympathy here for his bodily ills than he
  had received it at her hands for the distress in his heart。 The
  fashionable world expels every suffering creature from its midst; just
  as the body of a man in robust health rejects any germ of disease。 The
  world holds suffering and misfortune in abhorrence; it dreads them
  like the plague; it never hesitates between vice and trouble; for vice
  is a luxury。 Ill…fortune may possess a majesty of its own; but society
  can belittle it and make it ridiculous by an epigram。 Society draws
  caricatures; and in this way flings in the teeth of fallen kings the
  affronts which it fancies it has received from them; society; like the
  Roman youth at the circus; never shows mercy to the fallen gladiator;
  mockery and money are its vital necessities。 〃Death to the weak!〃 That
  is the oath taken by this kind of Equestrian order; instituted in
  their midst by all the nations of the world; everywhere it makes for
  the elevation of the rich; and its motto is deeply graven in hearts
  that wealth has turned to stone; or that have been reared in
  aristocratic prejudices。
  Assemble a collection of school…boys together。 That will give you a
  society in miniature; a miniature which represents life more truly;
  because it is so frank and artless; and in it you will always find
  poor isolated beings; relegated to some place in the general
  estimations between pity and contempt; on account of their weakness
  and suffering。 To these the Evangel promises heaven hereafter。 Go
  lower yet in the scale of organized creation。 If some bird among its
  fellows in the courtyard sickens; the others fall upon it with their
  beaks; pluck out its feathers; and kill it。 The whole world; in
  accordance with its character of egotism; brings all its severity to
  bear upon wretchedness that has the hardihood to spoil its
  festivities; and to trouble its joys。
  Any sufferer in mind or body; any helpless or poor man; is a pariah。
  He had better remain in his solitude; if he crosses the boundary…line;
  he will find winter everywhere; he will find freezing cold in other
  men's looks; manners; words; and hearts; and lucky indeed is he if he
  does not receive an insult where he expected that sympathy would be
  expended upon him。 Let the dying keep to their bed of neglect; and age
  sit lonely by its fireside。 Portionless maids; freeze and burn in your
  solitary attics。 If the world tolerates misery of any kind; it is to
  turn it to account for its own purposes; to make some use of it;
  saddle and bridle it; put a bit in its mouth; ride it about; and get
  some fun out of it。
  Crotchety spinsters; ladies' companions; put a cheerful face upon it;
  endure the humors of your so…called benefactress; carry her lapdogs
  for her; you have an English poodle for your rival; and you must seek
  to understand the moods of your patroness; and amuse her; andkeep
  silence about yourselves。 As for you; unblushing parasite; uncrowned
  king of unliveried servants; leave your real character at home; let
  your digestion keep pace with your host's laugh when he laughs; mingle
  your tears with his; and find his epigrams amusing; if you want to
  relieve your mind about him; wait till he is ruined。 That is the way
  the world shows its respect for the unfortunate; it persecutes them;
  or slays them in the dust。
  Such thoughts as these welled up in Raphael's heart with the
  suddenness of poetic inspiration。 He looked around him; and felt the
  influence of the forbidding gloom that society breathes out in order
  to rid itself of the unfortunate; it nipped his soul more effectually
  than the east wind grips the body in December。 He locked his arms over
  his chest; set his back against the wall; and fell into a deep
  melancholy。 He mused upon the meagre happiness that this depressing
  way of living can give。 What did it amount to? Amusement with no
  pleasure in it; gaiety without gladness; joyless festivity; fevered
  dreams empty of all delight; firewood or ashes on the hearth without a
  spark of flame in them。 When he raised his head; he found himself
  alone; all the billiard players had gone。
  〃I have only to let them know my power to make them worship my
  coughing fits;〃 he said to himself; and wrapped himself against the
  world in the cloak of his contempt。
  Next day the resident doctor came to call upon him; and took an
  anxious interest in his health。 Raphael felt a thrill of joy at the
  friendly words addressed to him。 The doctor's face; to his thinking;
  wore an expression that was kind and pleasant; the pale curls of his
  wig seemed redolent of philanthropy; the square cut of his coat; the
  loose folds of his trousers; his big Quaker…like shoes; everything
  about him down to the powder shaken from his queue and dusted in a
  circle upon his slightly stooping shoulders; revealed an apostolic
  nature; and spoke of Christian charity and of the self…sacrifice of a
  man; who; out of sheer devotion to his patients; had compelled himself
  to learn to play whist and tric…trac so well that he never lost money
  to any of them。
  〃My Lord Marquis;〃 sai