第 35 节
作者:白寒      更新:2022-07-12 16:24      字数:9322
  of pomade and hair…oil from the heads of all his visitors。 Splendor
  and squalor were oddly mingled; on the walls; the bed; and everywhere。
  You might have thought of a Neapolitan palace and the groups of
  lazzaroni about it。 It was the room of a gambler or a mauvais sujet;
  where the luxury exists for one individual; who leads the life of the
  senses and does not trouble himself over inconsistencies。
  〃There was a certain imaginative element about the picture it
  presented。 Life was suddenly revealed there in its rags and spangles
  as the incomplete thing it really is; of course; but so vividly and
  picturesquely; it was like a den where a brigand has heaped up all the
  plunder in which he delights。 Some pages were missing from a copy of
  Byron's poems: they had gone to light a fire of a few sticks for this
  young person; who played for stakes of a thousand francs; and had not
  a faggot; he kept a tilbury; and had not a whole shirt to his back。
  Any day a countess or an actress or a run of luck at ecarte might set
  him up with an outfit worthy of a king。 A candle had been stuck into
  the green bronze sheath of a vestaholder; a woman's portrait lay
  yonder; torn out of its carved gold setting。 How was it possible that
  a young man; whose nature craved excitement; could renounce a life so
  attractive by reason of its contradictions; a life that afforded all
  the delights of war in the midst of peace? I was growing drowsy when
  Rastignac kicked the door open and shouted:
  〃 'Victory! Now we can take our time about dying。'
  〃He held out his hat filled with gold to me; and put it down on the
  table; then we pranced round it like a pair of cannibals about to eat
  a victim; we stamped; and danced; and yelled; and sang; we gave each
  other blows fit to kill an elephant; at sight of all the pleasures of
  the world contained in that hat。
  〃 'Twenty…seven thousand francs;' said Rastignac; adding a few bank…
  notes to the pile of gold。 'That would be enough for other folk to
  live upon; will it be sufficient for us to die on? Yes! we will
  breathe our last in a bath of goldhurrah!' and we capered afresh。
  〃We divided the windfall。 We began with double…napoleons; and came
  down to the smaller coins; one by one。 'This for you; this for me;' we
  kept saying; distilling our joy drop by drop。
  〃 'We won't go to sleep;' cried Rastignac。 'Joseph! some punch!'
  〃He threw gold to his faithful attendant。
  〃 'There is your share;' he said; 'go and bury yourself if you can。'
  〃Next day I went to Lesage and chose my furniture; took the rooms that
  you know in the Rue Taitbout; and left the decoration to one of the
  best upholsterers。 I bought horses。 I plunged into a vortex of
  pleasures; at once hollow and real。 I went in for play; gaining and
  losing enormous sums; but only at friends' houses and in ballrooms;
  never in gaming…houses; for which I still retained the holy horror of
  my early days。 Without meaning it; I made some friends; either through
  quarrels or owing to the easy confidence established among those who
  are going to the bad together; nothing; possibly; makes us cling to
  one another so tightly as our evil propensities。
  〃I made several ventures in literature; which were flatteringly
  received。 Great men who followed the profession of letters; having
  nothing to fear from me; belauded me; not so much on account of my
  merits as to cast a slur on those of their rivals。
  〃I became a 'free…liver;' to make use of the picturesque expression
  appropriated by the language of excess。 I made it a point of honor not
  to be long about dying; and that my zeal and prowess should eclipse
  those displayed by all others in the jolliest company。 I was always
  spruce and carefully dressed。 I had some reputation for cleverness。
  There was no sign about me of the fearful way of living which makes a
  man into a mere disgusting apparatus; a funnel; a pampered beast。
  〃Very soon Debauch rose before me in all the majesty of its horror;
  and I grasped all that it meant。 Those prudent; steady…going
  characters who are laying down wine in bottles for their heirs; can
  barely conceive; it is true; of so wide a theory of life; nor
  appreciate its normal condition; but when will you instill poetry into
  the provincial intellect? Opium and tea; with all their delights; are
  merely drugs to folk of that calibre。
  〃Is not the imperfect sybarite to be met with even in Paris itself;
  that intellectual metropolis? Unfit to endure the fatigues of
  pleasure; this sort of person; after a drinking bout; is very much
  like those worthy bourgeois who fall foul of music after hearing a new
  opera by Rossini。 Does he not renounce these courses in the same frame
  of mind that leads an abstemious man to forswear Ruffec pates; because
  the first one; forsooth; gave him the indigestion?
  〃Debauch is as surely an art as poetry; and is not for craven spirits。
  To penetrate its mysteries and appreciate its charms; conscientious
  application is required; and as with every path of knowledge; the way
  is thorny and forbidding at the outset。 The great pleasures of
  humanity are hedged about with formidable obstacles; not its single
  enjoyments; but enjoyment as a system; a system which establishes
  seldom experienced sensations and makes them habitual; which
  concentrates and multiplies them for us; creating a dramatic life
  within our life; and imperatively demanding a prompt and enormous
  expenditure of vitality。  War; Power; Art; like Debauch; are all forms
  of demoralization; equally remote from the faculties of humanity;
  equally profound; and all are alike difficult of access。 But when man
  has once stormed the heights of these grand mysteries; does he not
  walk in another world? Are not generals; ministers; and artists
  carried; more or less; towards destruction by the need of violent
  distractions in an existence so remote from ordinary life as theirs?
  〃War; after all; is the Excess of bloodshed; as the Excess of self…
  interest produces Politics。 Excesses of every sort are brothers。 These
  social enormities possess the attraction of the abyss; they draw
  towards themselves as St。 Helena beckoned Napoleon; we are fascinated;
  our heads swim; we wish to sound their depths though we cannot account
  for the wish。 Perhaps the thought of Infinity dwells in these
  precipices; perhaps they contain some colossal flattery for the soul
  of man; for is he not; then; wholly absorbed in himself?
  〃The wearied artist needs a complete contrast to his paradise of
  imaginings and of studious hours; he either craves; like God; the
  seventh day of rest; or with Satan; the pleasures of hell; so that his
  senses may have free play in opposition to the employment of his
  faculties。 Byron could never have taken for his relaxation to the
  independent gentleman's delights of boston and gossip; for he was a
  poet; and so must needs pit Greece against Mahmoud。
  〃In war; is not man an angel of extirpation; a sort of executioner on
  a gigantic scale? Must not the spell be strong indeed that makes us
  undergo such horrid sufferings so hostile to our weak frames;
  sufferings that encircle every strong passion with a hedge of thorns?
  The tobacco smoker is seized with convulsions; and goes through a kind
  of agony consequent upon his excesses; but has he not borne a part in
  delightful festivals in realms unknown? Has Europe ever ceased from
  wars? She has never given herself time to wipe the stains from her
  feet that are steeped in blood to the ankle。 Mankind at large is
  carried away by fits of intoxication; as nature has its accessions of
  love。
  〃For men in private life; for a vegetating Mirabeau dreaming of storms
  in a time of calm; Excess comprises all things; it perpetually
  embraces the whole sum of life; it is something better stillit is a
  duel with an antagonist of unknown power; a monster; terrible at first
  sight; that must be seized by the horns; a labor that cannot be
  imagined。
  〃Suppose that nature has endowed you with a feeble stomach or one of
  limited capacity; you acquire a mastery over it and improve it; you
  learn to carry your liquor; you grow accustomed to being drunk; you
  pass whole nights without sleep; at last you acquire the constitution
  of a colonel of cuirassiers; and in this way you create yourself
  afresh; as if to fly in the face of Providence。
  〃A man transformed after this sort is like a neophyte who has at last
  become a veteran; has accustomed his mind to shot and shell and his
  legs to lengthy marches。 When the monster's hold on him is still
  uncertain; and it is not yet known which will have the better of it;
  they roll over and over; alternately victor and vanquished; in a world
  where everything is wonderful; where every ache of the soul is laid to
  sleep; where only the shadows of ideas are revived。
  〃This furious struggle has already become a necessity for us。 The
  prodigal has struck a bargain for all the enjoyments with which life
  teems abundantly; at the price of his own death; like the mythical
  persons in legends who sold themselves to the devil for the power of
  doing evil。 For them; instead of flowing quietly on in its monotonous
  course in the depths of some counting…house or study; life is poured
  out in a boiling torrent。