第 117 节
作者:青涩春天      更新:2022-07-12 16:22      字数:9322
  Armadale has injured me; and I have been to his house and
  forgiven him the injury。 Surely there must be some mistake;
  ladies? You can't have really come here to remonstrate with me in
  a Christian spirit for performing an act of Christianity?'
  〃The two Gorgons got up。 I firmly believe some women have cats'
  tails as well as cats' faces。 I firmly believe the tails of those
  two particular cats wagged slowly under their petticoats; and
  swelled to four times their proper size。
  〃 'Temper we were prepared for; Miss Gwilt;' they said; 'but not
  Profanity。 We wish you good…evening。'
  〃So they left me; and so 'Miss Gwilt' sinks out of the
  patronizing notice of the neighborhood
  〃I wonder what will come of this trumpery little quarrel? One
  thing will come of it which I can see already。 The report will
  reach Miss Milroy's ears; she will insist on Armadale's
  justifying himself; and Armadale will end in satisfying her of
  his innocence by making another proposal。 This will be quite
  likely to hasten matters between them; at least it would with me。
  If I was in her place; I should say to myself; 'I will make sure
  of him while I can。' Supposing it doesn't rain to…morrow morning;
  I think I will take another early walk in the direction of the
  park。
  〃Midnight。As I can't take my drops; with a morning walk before
  me; I may as well give up all hope of sleeping; and go on with my
  diary。 Even with my drops; I doubt if my head would be very quiet
  on my pillow to…night。 Since the little excitement of the scene
  with my 'lady…patronesses' has worn off; I have been troubled
  with misgivings which would leave me but a poor chance; under any
  circumstances; of getting much rest。
  〃I can't imagine why; but the parting words spoken to Armadale by
  that old brute of a lawyer have come back to my mind! Here they
  are; as reported in Mr。 Bashwood's letter: 'Some other person's
  curiosity may go on from the point where you (and I) have
  stopped; and some other person's hand may let the broad daylight
  in yet on Miss Gwilt。'
  〃What does he mean by that? And what did he mean afterward when
  he overtook old Bashwood in the drive; by telling him to gratify
  his curiosity? Does this hateful Pedgift actually suppose there
  is any chance ? Ridiculous! Why; I have only to _look_ at the
  feeble old creature; and he daren't lift his little finger unless
  I tell him。 _He_ try to pry into my past life; indeed! Why;
  people with ten times his brains; and a hundred times his
  courage; hare triedand have left off as wise as they began。
  〃I don't know; though; it might have been better if I had kept my
  temper when Bashwood was here the other night。 And it might be
  better still if I saw him to…morrow; and took him back into my
  good graces by giving him something to do for me。 Suppose I tell
  him to look after the two Pedgifts; and to discover whether there
  is any chance of their attempting to renew their connection with
  Armadale? No such thing is at all likely; but if I gave old
  Bashwood this commission; it would flatter his sense of his own
  importance to me; and would at the same time serve the excellent
  purpose of keeping him out of my way。
  〃Thursday morning; nine o'clock。I have just got back from the
  park。
  〃For once I have proved a true prophet。 There they were together;
  at the same early hour; in the same secluded situation among the
  trees; and there was miss in full possession of the report of my
  visit to the great house; and taking her tone accordingly。
  〃After saying one or two things about me; which I promise him not
  to forget; Armadale took the way to convince her of his constancy
  which I felt beforehand he would be driven to take。 He repeated
  his proposal of marriage; with excellent effect this time。 Tears
  and kisses and protestations followed; and my late pupil opened
  her heart at last; in the most innocent manner。 Home; she
  confessed; was getting so miserable to her now that it was only
  less miserable than going to school。 Her mother's temper was
  becoming more violent and unmanageable every day。 The nurse; who
  was the only person with any influence over her; had gone away in
  disgust。 Her father was becoming more and more immersed in his
  clock; and was made more and more resolute to send her away from
  home by the distressing scenes which now took place with her
  mother almost day by day。 I waited through these domestic
  disclosures on the chance of hearing any plans they might have
  for the future discussed between them; and my patience; after no
  small exercise of it; was rewarded at last。
  〃The first suggestion (as was only natural where such a fool as
  Armadale was concerned) came from the girl。
  〃She started an idea which I own I had not anticipated。 She
  proposed that Armadale should write to her father; and; cleverer
  still; she prevented all fear of his blundering by telling him
  what he was to say。 He was to express himself as deeply
  distressed at his estrangement from the major; and to request
  permission to call at the cottage; and say a few words in his own
  justification。 That was all。 The letter was not to be sent that
  day; for the applicants for the vacant place of Mrs。 Milroy's
  nurse were coming; and seeing them and questioning them would put
  her father; with his dislike of such things; in no humor to
  receive Armadale's application indulgently。 The Friday would be
  the day to send the letter; and on the Saturday morning if the
  answer was unfortunately not favorable; they might meet again; 'I
  don't like deceiving my father; he has always been so kind to me。
  And there will be no need to deceive him; Allan; if we can only
  make you friends again。' Those were the last words the little
  hypocrite said; when I left them。
  〃What will the major do? Saturday morning will show。 I won't
  think of it till Saturday morning has come and gone。 They are not
  man and wife yet; and again and again I say it; though my brains
  are still as helpless as ever; man and wife they shall never be。
  〃On my way home again; I caught Bashwood at his breakfast; with
  his poor old black tea…pot; and his little penny loaf; and his
  one cheap morsel of oily butter; and his darned dirty tablecloth。
  It sickens me to think of it。
  〃I coaxed and comforted the miserable old creature till the tears
  stood in his eyes; and he quite blushed with pleasure。 He
  undertakes to look after the Pedgifts with the utmost alacrity。
  Pedgift the elder he described; when once roused; as the most
  obstinate man livin g; nothing will induce him to give way;
  unless Armadale gives way also on his side。 Pedgift the younger
  is much the more likely of the two to make attempts at a
  reconciliation。 Such; at least; is Bashwood's opinion。 It is of
  very little consequence now what happens either way。 The only
  important thing is to tie my elderly admirer safely again to my
  apron…string。 And this is done。
  〃The post is late this morning。 It has only just come in; and has
  brought me a letter from Midwinter。
  〃It is a charming letter; it flatters me and flutters me as if I
  was a young girl again。 No reproaches for my never having written
  to him; no hateful hurrying of me; in plain words; to marry him。
  He only writes to tell me a piece of news。 He has obtained;
  through his lawyers; a prospect of being employed as occasional
  correspondent to a newspaper which is about to be started in
  London。 The employment will require him to leave England for the
  Continent; which would exactly meet his own wishes for the
  future; but he cannot consider the proposal seriously until he
  has first ascertained whether it would meet my wishes too。 He
  knows no will but mine; and he leaves me to decide; after first
  mentioning the time allowed him before his answer must be sent
  in。 It is the time; of course (if I agree to his going abroad);
  in which I must marry him。 But there is not a word about this in
  his letter。 He asks for nothing but a sight of my handwriting to
  help him through the interval while we are separated from each
  other。
  〃That is the letter; not very long; but so prettily expressed。
  〃I think I can penetrate the secret of his fancy for going
  abroad。 That wild idea of putting the mountains and the seas
  between Armadale and himself is still in his mind。 As if either
  he or I could escape doing what we are fated to dosupposing we
  really are fatedby putting a few hundred or a few thousand
  miles between Armadale and ourselves! What strange absurdity and
  inconsistency! And yet how I like him for being absurd and
  inconsistent; for don't I see plainly that I am at the bottom of
  it all? Who leads this clever man astray in spite of himself? Who
  makes him too blind to see the contradiction in his own conduct;
  which he would see plainly in the conduct of another person? How
  interested I do feel in him! How dangerously near I am to
  shutting my eyes on the past; and letting myself love him! Was
  Eve fonder of Adam than ever; I wonder; after she had coaxed him
  into eating the apple? I should have quite doted on him if I had
  been in her place。 (Memorandum: To write Midwinter a charming
  little letter on my side; with a kiss in it; and as time is
  allowed him before he sends in his answer; to ask for time; too;
  before I tell hi